11. Youre Forgetting
YOU'RE FORGETTING
Oliver—February
It was family dinner at Mom’s this evening.
A large wooden table big enough for all five children and then plenty more additions.
Which was good, because we always had plenty more.
They were scattered with soon-to-be leftover food, discarded wine glasses, and cell phones.
We’d just finished eating, and everyone had broken off into small groups, chatting, playing cards, drinking their beers.
Hudson was showing Wyatt a new comic book he was reading.
A friend from school had loaned it to him, and he was eager to show his uncle something new.
Theo was talking to Rowan, and the girls sat on the other side of the table, talking.
Which left me with the head of the family—a crown she wore with pride—Abby Carragan.
“How are things with the ranch going, darling?” she asked. Her voice was low and her hand set on my knee as she leaned forward to listen to whatever I had to say. She’d always acted like her kids had the most important lives. As if everything we did and said were interesting.
Not that I was much different. I was convinced Hudson was the coolest kid to ever walk the planet, and nothing could change my mind.
I cleared my throat, dragging my gaze away from a certain blonde that sat across from me. They were talking about the wedding plans for Rowan and Aspen’s big day. Nothing that concerned me. No reason I should be staring.
“It’s going well. Rowan and I have a few new bulls ready for the circuit this summer. Stubborn males,” I finally replied. I’d been training these few for almost three years now, and they were beyond ready for the stage, so to speak.
Mom nodded. “That’s good, right?”
A soft chuckle escaped me. “Yeah, Mom. That’s good.”
A lull in the conversation had my eyes returning to her once more. I couldn’t help myself. I hadn’t been able to since she showed up at my front door all those months ago.
“She looks tired, doesn’t she?” Mom whispered, the words only for my ears.
I glanced over to find her staring at Ivy, and I cleared my throat.
“Yeah, sure. I mean, I guess so.”
Her eyes turned back to me, a look on her face that I needed to avoid at all cost. “One day she’ll find a nice guy that’ll treat her well. What do you think?”
My eyes dropped down to the beer in my hand, effectively cutting off the conversation where it stood. I wanted to answer the question—it sat on the tip of my tongue, but the words wouldn’t come.
“She’s been back with him for a few weeks now, did you know?”
This time, I could feel her eyes digging into my head. I didn’t even need to look. Taking a sip of my beer, I shrugged. “I’d heard.”
Mom hummed. “I’m sure you have, my lovely boy.”
March
“You wanted to chat?” I asked as I sat down in the chair next to Rowan.
He’d gathered us all here at The Raven tonight, telling us it was a mandatory brotherly meeting, and I had no choice in the matter. So here I was, wracking my brain over what could cause him to want a mandatory brotherly meeting.
He stood up, looking at Theo, Wyatt, and I with wide eyes and a smile that was almost too gleeful.
“I’m getting married,” he stated, his hands on his hips and that damn excited smile. His long hair was pulled back into a low bun tonight, and the cowboy hat sat on the table in between us.
I glanced over to my other two brothers, who were equally staring at Ro as if he’d officially gone mental, before finally looking back at the man in question.
“We know. We helped with the proposal. What’s your point?” I asked patiently.
His hands dropped to his sides, and he blew out a breath. “So, I’ve been wracking my brain over the whole wedding party thing. At first, Aspen and I weren’t even going to do a wedding party, but she’s always wanted to include the family in it, and I’ll give my angel whatever she wants.”
“Yuck, we know. Move on,” Theo muttered as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.
Rowan glared at him for a moment before continuing. “So we’re doing a wedding party. I’ve been wracking my brain for my best man and decided fuck that. You’re all my best men. Just going in order from oldest to youngest. Problem solved.”
Wyatt started chuckling. “Fine with me. That means I’ll get to walk down the aisle with Ember. We all know who the maid of honor will be.”
“Wait, I have to walk down the aisle with my sister?” Theo questioned.
“Yes,” Rowan replied plainly.
It dawned on me then, the order of things, as a squeal from across the bar sounded.
My eyes dragged in the direction of a familiar face.
Her hair curled down her back and a pair of blue jeans hugged her hips as she jumped up and down, nodding her head and wrapping her arms around my soon-to-be sister-in-law.
I’d be walking down the aisle with Ivy Tinsley.
April
The smell hit me as I stretched out in the middle of the bed, the sheets cool against my skin. Pancakes. Pushing myself to a seated position, I ran a hand over my face, trying to rid myself of the sleepiness.
“Hudson?” I hollered as I slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, but no one responded back.
Maybe he was still sleeping, I thought as I walked down the stairs, but he wasn’t. His smiling face met me at the table, a stack of pancakes covered in whipped cream and sprinkles set in front of him.
“Good morning, bud.” I ruffled his hair as I walked over to the oven, my arms snaking around her waist, my face buried in her light red hair. It was tied off in a messy braid and thrown over her opposite shoulder. “Good morning to you too,” I whispered against her neck.
I expected her to return the sentiment, say something back—but nothing came for a moment as she flipped another pancake.
“Emily?” I questioned. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head. “You’re forgetting, Oliver.”
I took a step back and she turned to look up at me, breakfast forgotten. But her eyes weren’t right. Instead of the slightly downturned dark forest green, they were a bright emerald and round, long lashes framing them perfectly.
“Forgetting what, Emily?”
But she didn’t respond. She just shook her head and looked over towards Hudson.
Then she flashed—like an old television going in and out.
One moment it was Emily, and then it was her.
Her round, green eyes staring up at me. Her long blonde hair in a messy braid over her shoulder.
Little cotton shorts with one of my T-shirts thrown on.
I took a step backwards, and she flashed once more. Emily was back.
“You’re forgetting!” she yelled. My eyes darted to Hudson, who didn’t seem to notice the exchange at all, the pancakes taking all of his attention.
I shot up in bed, my heart pounding within my chest, sweat marring my brow as I tried to control my breathing. A soft knock at my door had my hand clutching the sheet at my waist, the comforter kicked off and forgotten.
“Dad?” Hudson called through the door. “Do you think we could make some pancakes together?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, bud. I’ll be right out.”
I tossed the sheet off, and my feet hit the cold wooden floors.
It had been over four months since that night, yet the dreams were becoming more vivid and even harder to ignore.
I told myself it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how well she fit against my chest or how amazing she smelled.
It didn’t matter how perfect she looked in sweatpants or that I’d seen her more in the last four months than I cared to admit.
She was a habit I was going to kick.
I was going to stay the fuck away from Ivy Tinsley—even if it killed me.