WITSEC

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The run had begun. Some people raced through the Start banner and down the dirt path. Others were still visiting the tents. I wouldn’t say we raced toward the first obstacle, but we weren’t that far behind the ones who did.

The first obstacle was called The Pits. At least, that’s what the sign next to it said. The sign also gave a brief description. The Pits consisted of steep, muddy hills with ice-cold swamps in between them that contained hidden sinkholes. We stared down at the first swamp we had to climb into, whose water was a murky pale tan.

“No work-up to getting dirty, I see,” Isabelle commented.

Ethan gave her a taunting smirk. “Want to skip it?”

She glared at him. “No.” She caught me watching the two of them. Leaning close, she whispered to me, “We got a dirty bet going on, too.” She giggled at the shock that must have shown on my face. “We overheard you.”

Clearly. I shouldn’t have been surprised. They had been walking behind us.

The guys didn’t hesitate in slowly climbing down the steep, slippery slope to get into the first pit of muddy water. Ethan was the first one in. I didn’t know why I’d thought the water would be shallow at first and gradually get deeper, but the moment Ethan got in, it was an instant drop. Isabelle and I held back, listening to the guys hiss as they sank up to their chests.

Isabelle looked at me and held out her hand. “I say we just rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with.”

I smiled and took her hand.

Seeing what we intended to do, the guys made room, and Isabelle and I leapt. We dropped into the pit feet-first. The freezing water bit at my skin as I went completely under.

I gasped as I resurfaced.

So did Isabelle. “It’s colder than I thought.”

Yes, it was. “Can you reach the bottom?” I asked as I struggled to kick my feet with shoes on. Colt’s arm wrapped around me and he pulled me through the water until my feet touched the bottom.

When we reached the other side, we were faced with climbing up a tall, muddy hill. The guys insisted Isabelle and I go first. I dug my shoes and fingers into the mud, doing my best to gain purchase as I climbed. Many times, my fingers slid through the mud like butter. I almost fell back into the water when hands caught me by the back of my thighs. “You got it, Shi,” Creed encouraged as he gave me a little push.

Isabelle and I reached the top of the hill at the same time and eyed the next pit. This swamp was longer. Bigger than the guys’ pool in their backyard.

Isabelle and I scaled down into the water as the guys climbed their way out of the first pit. I didn’t bother standing as I climbed my way down. The mud was too slippery, and I knew I’d fall. Instead, I scooted down, coating my butt and thighs in a thick layer of mud. When my shoes touched the water, I dropped down the rest of the way. I was expecting a deep plunge, but the water only went up to my waist. Isabelle dropped in next to me and the two of us moved ahead, wading our way across the pit. The guys caught up to us when we were halfway across.

“I feel like I already have mud in unmentionable places,” Isabelle playfully whined.

I laughed. “Same.”

Just as I said that, my foot sank into a sinkhole, and I almost went under. Colt and Creed dove for me and lifted me up. I had been fine, but was touched they still looked out for me.

Once we were out of The Pits, we were all covered in mud. My arms felt a little weak from having to climb. Not that I cared about any of it, because I was having a blast.

There was a long dirt path that led over a giant desert hill before we reached the next obstacle, which helped our skin warm up and dry a little.

I stared up at the tall, wooden wall we were supposed to scale for the second obstacle. Two guys ahead of us had run toward the wall. They’d both leapt, grabbed the top of the wall, and easily pulled themselves up and over at an impressive speed.

Creed did the same. He ran ahead of us and easily scaled the wall. Instead of jumping down the other side, he stayed on top of the wall and held out his hand. “Get a running start, Shi.”

I did as he said and ran toward the wall. My wet shoes slid down the wall as I tried to run up it. My fingers barely brushed against his before I dropped back down to the ground.

“Try again, Shi,” Isabelle said.

I took a few steps back before running toward the wall again. As soon as I leapt, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. My fingers brushed Creed’s again, but as I dropped back down, hands caught me by my hips. “You got this, babe,” I heard Colt say below me. He hoisted me up until I was able to take Creed’s hand. As Creed pulled me up, Colt’s hands jumped to my butt to lift me higher. Once I was high enough, I threw my leg over the top and pulled myself the rest of the way up.

Creed jumped down from the wall and I reached out my hand to Isabelle. Isabelle ran for the wall and jumped. She was able to get high enough to grab my hand. Then she started to drop back down, pulling me with her. I let out a yelp, not wanting to let go but scared of falling. Creed grabbed my ankle that was dangling on the other side of the wall before I could. Ethan and Colt caught Isabelle and pushed her up.

Isabelle climbed over the top and gave me an apologetic look. “That could have been bad.”

“It seems I have a bad habit of overestimating my upper-body strength,” I said as I threw my other leg over the wall and prepared to jump down.

Creed held his hands out to me, and I dropped into his arms. “If you’re going to act like Wonder Woman and keep catching Isabelle, you’re going to need to start working out with Knox,” he said as he set me on my feet and then reached out to help Isabelle down.

“I know,” I grumbled.

The next obstacle was a giant ice bath.

“Well, at least we’ll get somewhat clean,” Isabelle said.

“Until the next muddy obstacle,” I said and chuckled. “But I like your positivity.”

Smiling, Isabelle looked at me. “Band-Aid?”

I nodded and we jumped in. This time the guys watched us go first and laughed when we yelped and huffed as the biting-cold water swallowed us up to our waists.

We conquered each obstacle after those first three in the same manner. We didn’t rush through them. We took our time and just enjoyed each challenge.

In between the obstacles, though, we raced. We were getting close to the end of the run and the others were lagging behind as I made my way up a pretty big desert hill. Running was where I excelled. Which was why I had no problem running up the final, biggest hill and feeling smug about it.

Laughing, I glanced back at Isabelle and the guys as I was reaching the top. Karma decided to get back at me for being smug at that moment. My foot caught on a rock and my body lurched forward. I heard everyone call out to me as I collided with someone and we both went down. The top of the hill wasn’t level and we—the person I’d taken to the ground and I—rolled down the other side. It had to be nine or ten feet of rolling before my back hit flat ground and the other person, a guy I quickly realized, landed on top of me. I grunted at the impact of his weight.

“Shit,” he cursed into my ear before he pushed up onto his hands to look down at me.

I took in his ginger hair, his wide eyes, and realized I knew him. I had run into, knocked over, and now was lying beneath Derek.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

I didn’t get to answer because a tight voice said, “Why don’t you get off our girlfriend so we can find out?” It was Creed’s voice.

Derek quickly pushed off of me and sat on the ground a few feet away, looking like he was still trying to get his bearings.

Colt immediately took Derek’s place above me. Grabbing me under my arms, he picked me up off the ground. I threw my arms and legs around him. “Hold on, babe.” His hands moved to my butt and lower back as he carefully carried me down the rest of the hill. Creed, Isabelle, and Ethan climbed down behind him, their concerned gazes bouncing back and forth from me to the steep terrain.

Once at the bottom, Colt carried me over to the side of the trail and sat me down on a large rock. Creed came up next to his brother and they immediately started looking me over.

“I’m all right,” I said. “That’s the second time today I ran into someone because I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. I can’t believe I’ve been so inattentive.”

“You’re bleeding,” Isabelle said with a scrunched-up brow.

“I am?” I said, looking down. Sure enough, my right knee was scuffed up pretty bad. My pain sensors seemed to click on then. My knee began to sting and then my right shoulder, followed by my left elbow. I checked each location and saw they were all scratched up and bleeding.

“Does anything feel broken?” Colt asked, anger tightly woven into his words.

“I’m all right,” I repeated.

“There’s a first aid tent. Maybe you should take her there.”

Everyone turned, revealing Derek standing behind them.

“Why were you just standing there?” Creed asked him.

“It’s not his fault,” I said. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, again .” Although I had a sinking suspicion Gabe had purposely walked into me so he could have an excuse to threaten me.

“I was waiting for my buddy to catch up,” Derek explained, even though he didn’t have to. “He got talking to this girl at the last obstacle.”

“I’m really sorry, Derek. Are you hurt?” I asked.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m good. You took the brunt of the fall.”

At least there was that. I would have felt really guilty if he’d gotten hurt.

“Race is over, Shi,” Creed said.

“There’s only one more obstacle. I want to finish.” I pushed off the rock and began walking. All my cuts stung with the movement. My knee felt weak, which caused me to hobble.

“Shi…” Isabelle was getting ready to argue.

I didn’t stop walking toward the last obstacle. “I’m fine. I got this.”

“Shiloh.” Colt’s voice was stern, but not full-on Hulk. It still made me stop.

I whirled around, staring him down. “I’m fine. ”

Ethan grabbed Isabelle’s hand. “Let’s give them a moment,” he whispered to her, and they continued down the trail.

Creed eyed Derek, who was watching us, or more specifically me. “Why don’t you go find your buddy, Derek?” Creed was clearly annoyed with him for some reason, which annoyed me because he hadn’t done anything to be treated that way.

Derek blinked as if he had broken free from a trance. “Yeah. Sorry,” he mumbled and headed back up the hill.

Once he was gone, Creed looked at me. “What’s going on?”

“Just because I have a few scrapes doesn’t mean I’m broken. I can finish the run,” I answered.

“We don’t think you’re broken,” Creed said.

“I’ve been hurt worse than this,” I argued.

Colt exhaled as if to calm himself down. “We know you’re strong, babe. You don’t have to prove that to us.”

“Maybe I’m trying to prove it to myself.” I hadn’t meant to say that. It was as though the words refused to be just a thought or a secret insecurity. They needed to escape—to be heard—so they didn’t continue tearing me up from the inside.

All I felt all the time was weak. I’d almost let myself give up. I’d let my grief consume me because it was easier. Sure, I was in therapy now and was doing my best to stay determined, but there was always the temptation to give up. The uphill battle of healing was a constant dance of one step forward and five steps back. The progress was slow, disheartening more times than not, and draining, both mentally and emotionally. Strength in the physical sense was easier for me. When I got tired, I could push myself to run one more mile, one more hour, or not stop until I dropped. Physical strength was nothing but progress and that was reassuring in a way. I knew I could finish this run even though I’d had this setback. I knew I was strong enough to push on, and to not make me feel like a failure in the one aspect of my life where I felt like I wasn’t.

“Talk to us, babe,” Colt pleaded softly.

Realizing my issues, I made myself breathe in deeply and exhale slowly. “I’m being too hard on myself, and I was having a moment.” Healing wasn’t a race. I really wished it were, because I’d outrun the world to win if I had to. I glanced at the cut on my elbow. “The next obstacle is another water one. It isn’t a good idea to be fully submerged in disgusting water with a bunch of cuts, so it’s best I skip it.”

They both glanced at each other. Probably surprised at my quick turn of mood.

Colt took my hand. “Do you need me to carry you?”

I shook my head and we continued on toward the finish line.

We caught up to Ethan and Isabelle, who were waiting for us by the last obstacle. When Creed informed them that we were skipping this one, Isabelle’s shoulders sagged. “Me, too. I’m beat.”

“What about your bet?” I whispered.

She just smiled and looked at the guys. “I can walk with her if you want to go do the obstacle.”

“We’re good,” Colt and Creed said at the same time.

“I’m beat, too,” Ethan said.

I stared at all of them and had to resist the urge to cry. I had people. Of course, I knew I had the guys, but there was something about this moment that really showed me what I had. Isabelle had gone up against Gabe for me. Ethan, who was extremely competitive, had forfeited the bet he had with Isabelle. There was a saying that you didn’t realize what you had until it was gone. That was painfully true. But no one really talked about how, after you’d lost everything, it was overwhelmingly wonderful to regain something, or in this case…people who cared about you.

Once we crossed the finish line, we were each handed a goody bag. Inside, there was a T-shirt, a water bottle, a headband, a pen, and stickers. Each item was merch from all the different businesses that had sponsored the mud run.

Colt grabbed my bag to carry. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I caught Isabelle and Ethan looking around at all the tents. It was clear they wanted to explore.

“Why don’t you guys go look around and we’ll catch up later?” I suggested.

“Are you sure?” Isabelle asked, looking torn.

I waved my hand flippantly. “Yeah. I just need a couple of Band-Aids and there’s no need for all of us to go.”

Isabelle relented and we went our separate ways. Colt and Creed led the way to the first aid tent. I was still hobbling and the cuts on my knee throbbed and stung with each step.

Creed held out his goody bag to Colt and reached for me.

“I can walk,” I insisted.

“No.” Such a small word, yet it said so much. He wasn’t going to let me walk. He gave me his back and crouched a little. “Hop on, Shi.”

My boyfriends want to take care of me. I’d promised them I’d work on this particular flaw, and I kept my promises.

I climbed onto Creed’s back. As he carried me, I rested my head against his shoulder. I noticed Colt kept eyeing me, his surprise evident in the way his brows tried to reach his hairline.

“I’m trying.” I didn’t have to explain.

Colt rubbed my lower back as he walked next to us. “I’m proud of you.”

We would have to pass the Desert Stone tent to get to the first aid tent. As we began to pass the large navy-colored tent with Desert Stone Fitness written across the front, I saw Knox, Keelan, and a few personal trainers inside, sitting behind a long table helping a decent amount of people, hopefully signing up for memberships.

Keelan spotted us. He took in Creed carrying me and then said something to the two mud-covered girls he had been helping before standing from the table.

I tapped Creed’s shoulder and told him and Colt that Keelan was coming. The two of them stopped and glanced at the Desert Stone tent. We watched as Keelan walked over to where Knox was seated and leaned down to say something in his ear. Knox looked around the line of people in front of him, his eyes searching, and when they landed on me, he said something over his shoulder to Keelan before returning his attention to the guy he was helping. Keelan made his way out of their tent.

Creed let me down as Keelan approached us. Keelan's eyes dropped to my bleeding knee. “What happened?” he asked and grabbed my arm gently to look over the cut on my elbow.

“She fell,” Colt said.

“She tripped, collided with Derek, and they both went tumbling down the last hill before the end of the run,” Creed explained.

Keelan’s hand went to my chin next, turning it to the side. Was he staring at my ear? I reached up and gently touched the shell of my ear. It was wet and stung at my touch. I brought my hand down and saw that my fingers were bloody. The blood was fresh enough that a drop of it rolled down my index finger toward my palm. Panic began to rise within me. I stepped out of Keelan’s reach, needing space, and rubbed my bloody fingers vigorously on my shorts. I focused on the sound of people around me. The smell of mud clinging to my body. I grasped hold of the thought of taking a long, hot shower when I got home as though I had sharp claws.

“Shiloh,” Keelan started to say.

“I’m all right,” I said as I mentally battled with myself.

Colt grabbed my wrist, and it was then that I realized I hadn’t stopped rubbing my finger on my shorts.

“The blood is gone,” he assured me and brought my hand up to my face. He was right. Apart from the mud, my fingers were clean.

I was able to relax a little. “I can’t wait to take a shower,” I said, because I was still holding onto that thought.

“You’ll have to take it alone,” Creed said.

Colt glanced at his brother. “Yeah, it’s too bad we lost the race.” He didn’t sound disappointed at all.

I looked from one to the other, frowning. “What?”

Creed shrugged. “You crossed the finish line first. You won the bet.”

“Yeah, we tied in second place, or would it be last place?” Colt asked Creed.

I put my hand on my hips. “You let me win, didn’t you?”

They both did a terrible job at pretending to be shocked at my accusation, but they didn’t deny it.

“What did you three bet on?” Keelan asked.

I went to answer and suddenly there was a hand over my mouth. “Sexual favors,” Creed answered.

Technically, that was the truth. But why did Creed feel the need to stop me from answering?

I realized why when Keelan sighed and said, “Fine, don’t tell me.”

Colt coughed. It was obvious he was covering up a laugh.

Was it really that hard to believe I’d agree to a game of dirty stakes? Or that I was the one who’d suggested them? I knew I came off as innocent, and I was, or had been in some ways, but I wouldn’t be that way forever.

“I’m only letting it go because you successfully got Shi to calm down,” Keelan said.

Now that he mentioned it...

“Was that an episode?” Creed asked and dropped his hand from my mouth. He and Colt hadn’t witnessed me have one. Only Knox and Keelan had.

Keelan studied me. “I’m not sure.”

“I was able to stop it before it could happen,” I said. “But the anxiety still builds up and it takes a while to bounce back from. Talking about sexual favors, though, seems to speed up the process.”

Creed grinned.

“Dr. Bolton has been really helping,” Keelan said, sounding pleased.

It was reassuring they could see results. It validated the steps I had taken so far, even if they were small.

Creed gave me his back again. “All right, Shi, let’s get you bandaged up and then head home.”

I climbed on his back again. This time without hesitating.