Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
They walked back to the ablutions block, which stank off piss, and washed their hands in silence, but George was aware something was wrong, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know if it was something he even could fix. Sure, he was more than happy to fuck Evan, so he didn’t have to shift. But that wasn’t a solution. He leaned against the wall, waiting for Evan to finish.
Evan splashed some water on his face and ran his fingers through his hair. He rested his hands on the edge of the metal sink. “You’re still staring at me.”
Because he didn’t know what to do with him. He held Evan’s gaze in the mirror.
Evan didn’t turn. “I’m fucked up. I did warn you.”
“Being raised in a pack like yours would fuck up any gay wolf.”
Evan grabbed some paper towels and roughly dried his hands. “I’m okay with that… No, I’m more than okay with that. I’m quite comfortable admitting that I’m gay.”
“Except to your pack or other wolves.”
“So? I don’t want to have a chunk taken out of my ear just because they’re bigoted assholes.” He tossed the paper in the bin.
“So suppressing your shift aside, as much as possible, has nothing to do with losing co?—”
Evan stalked over to him and slapped his hand on the wall next to George’s head. “It doesn’t. I have hated being a wolf since the very first time. If it was like witch magic, and I could surrender it, I’d have done so years ago.”
George didn’t flinch at the slight show of aggression. He’d been threatened by bigger, scarier shifters. Evan was hurting from a thousand different wounds he couldn’t identify. “You’re telling me that not liking being a wolf has nothing to do with the fact that even as a teen, you knew subconsciously that people like you didn’t have a place in your pack?”
Evan’s lip curled, and he snarled in a way that held very little humanity. “You really do talk too much.”
Their lips crashed together. George melted against the wall, letting Evan take over, liking the rough edge that was present and the pinch of Evan’s teeth on his lip. But as quickly as it happened, it was over, and Evan was walking out the door. George blinked a couple of times, then shook his head and followed.
Evan’s issues were his own to sort out. Given that shifters couldn’t give up the magic that made them shift, he was stuck being a part-time wolf. And while he didn’t have to love it, he needed to accept it.
George was pretty damn sure that while Evan might be comfortable existing as a gay man, he was not comfortable existing as a gay wolf. And the two were very different.
The last part of the drive was done in silence.
As much as he had been enjoying being with Evan because they seemed to fit together quite well in the bedroom, out of it, they weren’t on the same page. They weren’t even in the same library.
While he had only run with Kyle a couple of times before leaving, he recognized the town and also the entrance to the property. Not everything had changed in the years he’d been gone.
“I’m sorry about before,” Evan said as he turned into the driveway.
“Which part?” There was nothing to be sorry for. Shifters sometimes needed to shift in a hurry, and it wasn’t as though he hadn’t been willing. Evan didn’t need to apologize for letting the shifting heat become too much for him or for being horny.
“All of it. I don’t like losing my shit. If I’d done that growing up…”
“You’re not seventeen anymore. You’re not beholden to your old pack. It doesn’t matter what the fuck they think.”
“They are still my family. That’s what wolves like you don’t understand. I can only avoid them so much.” He parked the car outside a large shed. “If they found out I was here?—”
“They’d what? You’re twenty-eight, you have your own life. Your own career. They can’t force you back into the pack.”
“No, but they can banish me.” The worry etched on Evan’s face was almost too much for George. He wanted to reach out and smooth it away.
“Okay, so they find out, and they banish you, and the worst thing they can do is take a notch out of your ear so that every wolf knows. What then? How does your life change? Aside from being free of the fear of the worst thing happening.”
Evan’s teeth worried at his lower lip as if he didn’t want to let the answer out.
It wasn’t his job to help Evan. But he liked him, even though that was dumb. Almost as dumb as dating a closeted guy— that never ended well. He was somehow dating a closeted wolf, though that wasn’t the right way to describe the situation either.
And they weren’t dating.
They were… They were something. And it was clear they both liked each other. Or was that not the right way to describe the thing between them either?
When humans described their relationship status as complicated, they had no fucking idea how complicated things could be.
“It’s different for you. You’re not afraid of anything,” Evan finally said.
George laughed. He couldn’t help it. “I am afraid of plenty of things, and I’m not going to run at them head-on. However, I’m also not going to let them stop me from living. When my grandfather was dying, he told me not to let being a wolf hold me back. He let being a wolf keep him in the town from birth to death. He never traveled, but he watched all the travel TV shows as if that was enough. Most of my pack hasn’t left the state; hell, most of them have stayed within a twenty-kilometer radius of pack territory. They limited their lives, their jobs, everything because of what they are. I was only thirteen when he died. I didn’t shift for another two years, but I remembered his words.”
“You’ve always got a place to call home. I don’t.”
“And what do you call this?” He indicated the main house as the front door opened and Kyle stepped out.
“Me being forced to be a wolf.” Evan got out of the car.
Maybe he was more fucked up than George realized. He got out of the car, fixed a smile on his face, and walked over to join Evan and Kyle.
“It’s good to see you again.” Kyle pulled him into an embrace and inhaled to check his identity and which other wolves he’d been hanging around with. No doubt he could also smell the very recent sex.
“Same. You’re official now.”
Kyle released him with a slap on the back. “We are. It’s been a good thing. And you found Evan. How do you know each other?”
It was Evan who answered. “He was my younger brother’s best friend through school. I didn’t know he ran here before going to Darwin.”
Kyle nodded, and his gaze jumped between Evan and George as if he sensed there was a lot of missing information.
It was never a good idea to start off on the wrong foot with a pack leader, and keeping things a secret around wolves didn’t work out too well either. “We reconnected over a hook-up. I didn’t know it was him until I turned up.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he didn’t need the details.”
Interesting, Evan didn’t like admitting to hooking up? That was when George realized this was the first time he’d seen Evan interacting with other people. Every other time, it had only been the two of them. This was going to be a very interesting weekend.
Kyle laughed. “Someone would’ve asked at some point.”
They would’ve, and it wasn’t as though Evan and he had discussed what to say. George was quite comfortable admitting that he’d seen the photo of the bite on Evan’s shoulder and being the one to initiate the hook-up. But Kyle didn’t ask for more.
“Come on, you can grab a room. There’s only a couple of people running this weekend. I need to message everyone, though, because we’re going to have a farewell party for Brandon in a few weeks.”
“He’s leaving?” Evan asked.
“Yeah, he’s moving to Sydney to be with Ross.”
George had no idea who these people were, though clearly Brandon was a pack member and someone Evan would miss.
“I didn’t think it would happen so soon. Has he got a new pack?”
“He’s been sorting that out when he goes up there to see Ross. I think it’s more of a mixed gay shifter pack than a wolf pack, from what he said.”
George studied Evan. He could see the doubts and fears and hopes scrolling across his face. There was another wolf who was moving on, taking a chance, and leaving the state. Living, not hiding.
Kyle looked at him. “What did you do up in Darwin?”
“It was a mixed shifter situation, a few cats and wolves, and a snake or two. Mostly, we didn’t let each other go into the bush to shift alone. It was less about running and more about safety. I have missed running with a proper pack.”
Kyle nodded, but his gaze slid to Evan. “You’re going to run?”
“Yes, can’t wait.” He sounded convincing, and the smile almost looked real. Except George had seen his real smile, the one without any tension at the corners of his lips, the one that lit up his eyes. It was the one he wanted to see.
“Great, Cooper is already out there. He likes a morning run.” Kyle let them into the house. “Cooper is my fiancé. He’s a leopard… How are you at reading cat body language?”
“I’m good with lions. They are the main type of cat in Darwin. I don’t know how similar they are to leopards.” The Outcast Pack had a wolf and a leopard as their leaders. That must piss off more than a few of the traditional packs. They didn’t let anyone join but wolves.
“I guess we’re going to find out.” Kyle pointed at a door. “Callum is in that room. He’s up this weekend. He got here about an hour ago. And I think Mitchell is coming up later this afternoon with his mate. We have some familiars, and they usually bring their mates.” Kyle looked at him as if expecting George to bristle at the idea of a wolf being a familiar.
Each to their own. Besides, he didn’t know enough about magic to argue with the Fates, which seemed like a bad idea without needing more information. “Sounds to me like you’re a mixed paranormal pack.”
“It’s getting that way. The only reason I said you can run here is because you’ve been here before, and Brandon is leaving. We need to watch our numbers.”
“Thank you for the permission to run.” He hadn’t expected to waltz in and be accepted. That isn’t how things worked. But he was glad Kyle had remembered him.
Evan had walked on ahead and chosen a room. Were they expected to share? Is that what was going on? “I’ll leave the other queen bed for Mitchell and Penrith.”
Kyle’s eyebrows lifted as if he expected Evan to grab the queen bed for him and George.
George shrugged.
It wasn’t as though they had formalized anything between them. And yet they both spoke of the future as if there might be one for them. Perhaps it was only because they would be in the same pack.
“I’ll let you get settled and call Cooper in.”
He watched as Kyle walked outside, but the pack leader didn’t get a chance to open his mouth because as soon as he stepped onto the lawn, something large and golden jumped off the roof.
Leopard.
He sucked in a breath and took a few steps towards the door before his brain realized it was Cooper, and it was fine.
The leopard pinned Kyle to the ground and then gave him a lick. It sounded as though the leopard was laughing. Kyle muttered something and scratched the leopard’s ears before Cooper gave a dramatic sigh and got off him. The leopard paced up the steps towards George. It was all predator, and it was stalking him.
George took a step back and bumped into Evan.
Evan’s hand landed on the small of George’s back. “I’ve seen him drag an adult male wolf. He’s not as harmless as he appears.”
“Cats are never harmless.” That was the one thing he’d learnt when running with them. He’d trust a snake before a cat. He swore Cooper smiled as if it was a compliment, but he didn’t stop. He just brushed past them both and continued to what George guessed was the master bedroom.
Evan stepped away. “I’ll get the bags since you’ll need to meet him.”
“I can help, it’s fine.” He went to follow Evan.
“Grab a drink, come and sit with me,” Cooper said, though it wasn’t an invitation but an order. He wore track pants and was pulling on a T-shirt. His shoulder-length hair was loose. He had to be about a decade younger than Kyle. “Or if you don’t want a drink, come and sit.” He shoved a ring on his finger and grabbed a glass of water.
“Water’s fine.”
“That’s where the glasses are. This is the tap.” Cooper pointed, and while he was smiling, there was something sharp beneath it.
He waited for George to grab his water, then led him outside to a bench that was away from the house under a large gum tree.
“Why do you want to run with us when your pack is welcoming?” Cooper didn’t muck around and waste time.
Why do you care? Formed on George’s tongue. But this man had as much authority in the pack as Kyle. While Kyle had been friendly and said yes, Cooper was the one asking the hard questions. Did that mean the yes could be revoked?
And how much did Cooper know about him?
“They are, but they are the kind of wolves who are happy to never leave pack territory. I’m not that kind of wolf, and it causes friction. Questions.” And he didn’t want to be explaining his life or justifying it to anyone. “That and I like running with other gay wolves, shifters. It’s an automatic bond?”
Cooper nodded and sipped his water. “We are selective with who we let run with us, and not just because we need to watch our numbers. But because we are all friends. Most had come to the pack via Con or Kyle. You ran here previously because you know Con.”
“And how do you know so much about my pack and me?”
“I’m a Coven Investigator. It’s my job to find out.”
George was sure that investigating potential pack members was possibly some kind of breach, but perhaps it wasn’t because of the recent drama. He was new in town, and this pack hadn’t existed when he left.
“What’s the story with you and Evan?” Cooper continued.
George shrugged. “If you find out, why don’t you let me know?”
“Let me rephrase. How did you meet?”
Did it look suspicious that he had run into a pack member as soon as he’d returned? “Hook up. His profile had a bite mark that I liked the look of. But I also knew him from before. Our packs share a school catchment, and he was the older brother of one of my friends.”
It was only from Cooper’s smile that George realized it had been a test of his honesty and that Cooper knew exactly what territory their respective packs had.
“You’re aware he’s in no-man’s-land with his pack? He’s not officially running with us, but he doesn’t run with them either.”
“Yeah, and I know he doesn’t like running.”
Cooper studied his almost empty glass. “That’s a different issue and one that’s not as easily resolved. If he wants help, he needs to go to the Coven and speak to a psych. Bethany is probably the best one.” He gave George a sly smile. “Not that I told you that because Kyle decided we would not raise it again with Evan. The last time, it did not go well.” He gave an obvious sniff as if to make it clear he knew everything. “You might have better luck with your…lover.”
Was that the polite way to phrase what wasn’t defined? “What did you suggest last time?”
“That he run more often instead of trying to suppress.”
George pressed his lips together. He could understand why it hadn’t gone well after the incident today. Not that it was his place to say anything, but at the same time, he wanted to help Evan, if possible, because he shouldn’t have to go through life hating half of what he was and potentially putting himself in danger.
“He suppresses because he doesn’t like being a wolf…he doesn’t like the animal side. He said it’s not his body.” He kept his words soft as if expecting someone to overhear.
“Ahh…so it’s not the discomfort of shifting but shifting-related dysphoria. It’s rare, or at least it’s rarely reported. He only told us that he didn’t like shifting, which is why he didn’t run with the pack very often.”
“He doesn’t mind the shifting part, and he likes letting out the wolf instincts while human.”
“He should talk to Bethany. There’s no changing what he is, but maybe he can stop it from tearing him apart.”
That sounded excellent, as the way Evan lived now, he was setting himself up to be a lone wolf or a human who had temporary paranormal needs, neither of which was true. If Evan was a lone wolf, he’d shun the contact of other wolves. And he didn’t. By displaying the bite on the app, he was calling them to him.
“Will he run today?” Cooper asked.
“He needs to.”
“Good luck with that.”
“He’s your pack member, too.”
“But he’s your boyfriend.”
George shook his head. “We’re not that close.”
They were convenient, friendly fucks. And it was always good to know another friendly wolf in case there was trouble from the unfriendly kind.
“Yet you’re worried about him.” Cooper stood up and held his hand.
George took it, and Cooper pulled him up into an embrace—Cooper’s lithe body hiding his strength. He let the leopard sniff him, as was appropriate for a pack leader.
“I’m sure he’s filled you in on the pack situation in the city. There’s a few of us who live there, including a couple of agents. I’ll give you a list of numbers in case of trouble. We also don’t want trouble from your pack.”
“I have already spoken to my parents—they wanted me to move back home into my old room.” Which was a lovely offer, but there was no way he could go back to the bedroom he used when he was a child. He hoped they hadn’t left it ready for him to slip back into place. “I’ll see them next week to confirm that I won’t be running with the pack.” Though he would probably have to run with his family to smooth their fur. “They aren’t the kind of pack to make a fuss. They like to keep to themselves and keep to their area.”
Cooper released him. “And you do not. You’ve already been trolling the database for the situation over west.”
“I have.” Fuck, had Cooper flagged his name to check everything he did? Not that it was a secret, but still. “I’ve gotten used to warmer weather, so I figured after a year in Melbourne, I might want to travel again.”
“A wandering wolf. They used to be more common, especially in Europe. Selling their sword or telling their tales…I’m sure you have some stories from Darwin.”
“Do you know a little bit about everything, or did you research my life extensively?”
“I have spent the best part of a year researching wolf packs in Victoria and Australia, as well as common practices in Europe, which is where the packs in Australia originated. Except one. They moved from Alaska because they were sick of snow. They settled in Tasmania about eighty years ago because they didn’t want any wolf drama, and there were no wolves in Tasmania at the time.”
“Isn’t everything resolved?”
“For the moment. It’s one of my jobs to keep tabs on the situation.” Cooper gave a one-shouldered shrug. “We had best go in, or Kyle is going to think I’m grilling you.”
“You did.”
Cooper laughed. “That was not a grilling. That was a friendly get-to-know-you chat. You never want to sit on the opposite side of the table to me. And you never want to piss off Sam.”
“Sam?”
“He used to run the Coven coverups department for the whole country. He knows where all the bodies are hidden and how to make sure they remain hidden.” Cooper flashed him a grin. “And his husband is a detective.”
“Any other Coven agents in the pack?” he asked, only half joking.
“Penrith. He’s a blood witch, and Mitchell is his familiar. We also have a human who was raised a hunter.”
George’s eyes widened. “That sounds problematic.”
“Is it a problem?”
He shook his head, not wanting Cooper to find a reason to ban him from running with the Outcast Pack. “No, as long as his family doesn’t find out where we live.”
“They did, and it’s been dealt with,” Cooper said as he strolled back to the house, leaving George to follow.
For a moment, all he had was doubts. As much as he wanted to run with a wolf pack, this one had a lot going on with hunters and agents and wolves and leopards. And as much as he had missed running with wolves, he was also remembering why it had been nice to get away from wolves.
Maybe he was the lone wolf.