Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
While he didn’t need to see his family to update his pack status, Evan needed to tell them he wouldn’t be running with them again. He needed to erase the fear of what they might do by letting them do it. Then it would be done, and that would be the end of that.
Another thing crossed off his list.
That didn’t mean he felt good about meeting his family, and for an entire day, he had considered having the conversation over the phone. But that wasn’t the person he wanted to be. However, when he saw the pack leader sitting with his parents and brother at the restaurant, he almost turned around and walked out as terror gripped his guts and twisted.
He did not want to walk over smelling of fear.
The leader couldn’t notch his ear in public. The worst he could do was shout and raise his voice, which would end with him getting thrown out of the restaurant. Evan drew in a breath. His status had already been changed with the Coven. He had the protection of the Outcast Pack. This was a politeness for his parents.
He walked over to the table. “Mum, Dad, Ryan.” He nodded at them, then he looked at the leader who hadn’t been invited and yet was in attendance. Did he already know? Or did he suspect something was up and wanted to take the opportunity to drag him back? “Tony.”
Greeting him last was a sign of disrespect, but the man wasn’t his pack leader anymore. He was a distant relative, but without a chart, he could never figure it out or remember. And he didn’t care.
Ryan opened his mouth as if to speak, but he glanced at Tony as if waiting for permission.
“Have a seat, Evan,” Tony said.
He did, but only because he wasn’t going to continue to stand in the middle of the restaurant. He glanced at the menu in front of him, but he didn’t even want to get as far as ordering. This wasn’t the little family catch-up he’d wanted.
Had they invited Tony, or had Tony invited himself? Perhaps they all thought it was time to drag him back.
“You haven’t been to a pack run in a long time,” Tony said.
His pulse quickened, and his armpits felt clammy. Usually, he blamed work. It was often the truth, but he could’ve tried harder to take time off.
Just say it now and get it over with. “I have decided to no longer run with my family pack.”
His mother gave him a tight smile. “I know it’s a long way to come. Have you tried to get work closer?”
“I don’t think it’s because of work,” his father said. “You don’t like running. That never changed, did it?”
Ryan stared at Evan, and his eyes narrowed as if he saw the truth written on Evan’s shirt. At least it had been long enough that they wouldn’t be able to smell George on his skin.
“You have to request permission to leave.” Tony’s words were clipped.
“Actually, I don’t. And I have already updated my status with the Coven.” He was glad Kyle had told him otherwise, or he might have believed Tony’s bullshit. No matter how alone he felt, no matter how much he pushed people away, he wasn’t alone. He had a pack. “I’m running with the Outcast Pack now.”
The words erupted out of his throat as if he could no longer hold them back, and he just wanted the truth out. For the first time in his life, he could speak, and Tony had to listen.
Tony jabbed at the table as if to make his point. “How dare you go behind my?—”
“How dare you force me to break up my brother’s friendship with George. How dare you force me to shift and run even though I said it made me uncomfortable. How dare you force me to hide who I was out of fear of being kicked out.”
“You’re gay?” Ryan asked.
Tony ignored Ryan. “Wolves like you put us all in danger.”
“No, wolves like you put the young ones in danger.” Evan stood. “I had hoped this would be a family lunch, but since you invited him, I’m leaving.”
“We wanted you to come home,” his mother pleaded.
“Do not walk away, Evan,” Tony said.
“Or what? You can’t banish me. I have already left.” As he spoke, he realized he’d left years ago. He’d just been too afraid to admit it.
Tony’s hand slid to the butter knife on the table.
Evan lowered his voice. “If you lay a finger on me, it is assault, and the Coven will deal with you.”
Tony’s lip curled. “We don’t involve the Coven in pack business.”
Evan took another step back but kept his voice low so the humans nearby wouldn’t hear. “I’m not your pack.”
His heart was beating hard, and he wasn’t sure if it was from stress or relief, but it wasn’t from fear. He wished he’d done this years ago.
His parents looked at him, and then at Tony. By the pack, they had done the right thing in trying to get him to return to running with them. By their son, they had once again failed. He should’ve expected that. “Maybe we can get together another time, Mum.”
“We don’t associate with the Outcasts,” Tony said. “You fix your status to the correct pack, or you are banished, and no one will speak to you.” He glared at Evan’s family as he spoke as if to reinforce the point that included them.
“I am running with the correct pack. One where I’m welcome and not expected to change who I am. One where the leader doesn’t invade family lunches or randomly check who people have been associating with. Good leaders don’t need fear to rule. Good leaders want what’s best?—”
Tony stood, his eyes hard as if he wanted to rip out Evan’s throat in the middle of the restaurant regardless of how many humans would see. Something like that hadn’t happened in public for quite a while. Evan’s hackles rose, and the shifting heat flowed through his blood. If he had to fight as a wolf, he was fucked. Not that he wanted to pop a shift in a restaurant in the middle of Melbourne.
“What’s best? All you have done is think of yourself. Think how your parents will suffer if they can never see you again.”
“You made that decision. I’d be happy to see them again, and my pack doesn’t care if I do. It understands that people don’t always run with their family.”
“Your pack…” Tony scoffed. “Your pack won’t have a next generation.”
“We will, as long as leaders like you push those who are different away.” But he hoped that in thirty years’ time, the Outcast Pack was a collection of old wolves looking forward to retiring somewhere warmer. He hoped that it wasn’t needed.
He turned and walked away. He didn’t care if they had lunch or not. His stomach was too tight to even consider eating. He wanted to puke, much the same as when he walked out of exams. It was over, but there was a whole lot of nervous tension and stress flowing through him. A proper wolf would want to shift.
He was almost to his car when he realized he was being followed by another wolf. Tony had brought one of his loyal supporters. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy, but for a few minutes, he thought he’d got away without being notched.
Evan pulled his keys out of his pocket as if they were a weapon and spun. “What do you want?”
He had no doubt the woman knew he was no longer part of the pack.
“You know what needs to be done.”
“It doesn’t need to be done; you just want the power trip. Go on. Get it over with.”
She pulled out a small pocketknife and flicked open the blade. It was only an inch long, plenty to kill a man with if one knew where to cut. But she wasn’t here to kill him, only to mark him as an outcast.
Evan kept the ice pack on his ear as he lay on the sofa. His ear was throbbing, though it had stopped bleeding. If he shifted, it would heal, but he wasn’t sure he had the energy. He’d gotten himself home, and now he was sick and cold, and the hollowness was back.
George’s message had flashed up on his screen an hour ago.
He needed to reply, but he didn’t know what to say.
He was twenty-eight. He shouldn’t need to call someone to hold his hand because his ear had a little cut. The worst thing that could happen had happened, and he was still alive. The world hadn’t ended.
His body was not convinced.
He reached for his phone and pulled up George’s number. He stared at it until the screen dimmed. Was there someone else he could call? And what were they going to do? They’d tell him to shift and go for a run and enjoy his new freedom.
But he didn’t feel any freer. He didn’t feel any different at all. And he should, shouldn’t he? He should feel better.
He’d gotten a text from Kyle, too, welcoming him to the pack officially and reminding him that the next official pack run would be next weekend. It was Brandon’s farewell, so he had to go, but he didn’t want to run. Not that he’d come up with ten alternatives to running yet, much to Bethany’s disappointment.
George would be at the run, and Evan did not want that to be the next time he saw him. He tapped the phone screen.
I’m glad it worked out
That was a shit message, but it was a start, so he hit send.
George replied immediately.
How are you?
Was that the polite question or the one that was really asking if he was sorting himself out? Either way, he was going to take it as the latter because he may not get such an opening again.
I made it official and told my family. It didn’t go so well. I could use someone to talk to if you want to come over.
That was a shit message, too. He wanted to do more than talk. He wanted to put his head in George’s lap and have George tell him that his ear didn’t look too bad and that everything would be fine. George wouldn’t say that, though. He’d be more likely to say his ear was a bloody mess, and what the fuck was he thinking telling his family in person. A smile curved Evan’s lips for half a second.
He added to the text.
I need someone to tell me I’m a bloody idiot.
He hit send, then he hesitated. If this was the one shot he got to make it right with George, he might as well go all in.
And I saw the Coven psych… She had some ideas.