13. Vincent
thirteen
ORYM
Giving Garnet and James space is difficult. I can feel her fear and anxiety through the bond. After a few minutes, I start to feel James along the bond again. I know that doesn’t mean everything will be magically fixed, but it’s a start.
Ryland’s phone rings and he steps away to answer it. “Yeah. Fuck. We’ll be right there.” He slips it back in his pocket and turns to us. “We have to go to the training center. Now.”
“What about Red and James? Should we get them?” Luca asks. Ryland shakes his head.
“They’ve found Vincent and it’s bad. I don’t want her to know yet.” That is bad. I understand why Ryland doesn’t want to tell her right now. She’s more concerned with repairing the bond with James, and that’s what she needs to focus on.
“I’ll let her know we have to check on the trainees,” I offer, opening the mental link. Garnet? Ryland, Luca, and I are going to check on the trainees while you and James talk. If you need us, just call and we’ll come back.
We start heading toward the training center when she responds. Is everything okay?
Yeah, it’s just awkward standing outside while you two are in there. We didn’t want to add pressure to the situation.It’s not exactly a lie, but hopefully she doesn’t figure out that I’m not being completely honest.
Okay, stay safe.Her response is quick, and I know she’s distracted by what’s going on with James.
“Garnet knows we’re leaving, but I told her it’s because we feel awkward standing outside right now,” I explain to the others. They nod, understanding that if she asks, they need to go along with my story.
“What happened to Vincent?” Luca asks as we get further from the cabin.
Ryland shakes his head. “I have no idea. Mark said they found him, and it’s bad. That was it. I told him we’d be right there. So, we’ll find out in a minute.” None of us bother to shift, because while this is urgent, it’s not an emergency.
The training center seems deserted, and I realize that Mark must have sent the kids away when they brought Vincent in. We enter the building, and the smell of death surrounds us. It takes everything in me not to start gagging. The air tastes the way it smells, blood, charred flesh, and something I can’t quite place.
No one says a word as we walk over to where they have him laid on a table. Shock rips through me at what I see when I’m close enough.
I’m not even sure how they know it’s Vincent. This creature is mangled beyond repair. With our increased healing, this shouldn’t be possible. The man in front of us is broken, with bones jutting out of his flesh. He’s been set on fire, more than once from the look of it. And large chunks of skin, muscle, and tendon are missing from different places along his body.
JAMES
I don’t know how to do this. Can I let myself stay here? Can I allow Garnet to depend on me when I know I’m only going to fail her again? It’s not fair to anyone involved, but I can’t turn away from her again. Now that our connection is back, I can feel how badly I’ve hurt her, and I never want to do that again.
I take another step toward her, noticing that she’s not reaching for me. The bond between us confuses me. I don’t know how to interpret her emotions, especially when I’m certain I can feel the other guys as well. It’s hard enough to deal with my own feelings and thoughts, much less four other people’s. Does she regret bringing me back here with her?
What I regret is nearly losing you in the first place.I hear her voice in my head, and it startles me. I know it’s part of the magic that connects us, but it still catches me off guard, even more than her emotions seeping into me.
“Are you reading my mind?” I ask, feeling bothered by the intrusion. I know it’s ridiculous to get upset about it, but I can’t stop myself. The only reason I agreed to come back here was that Dec refuses to turn me until after Garnet deals with Amber.
“I’m sorry, you were projecting. I’ll try not to comment if I hear anything else,” she offers, taking a step backward.
Disappointment and hurt assault me through the bond, along with frustration and anger. I know the latter are the other guys’ reactions to Garnet’s emotions. I hate hurting her, but I can’t deal with other people in my head right now. Learning that part of this happened because of Amber’s influence is hard enough. I don’t want to start doing things because it’s what someone else wants.
“Look, Garnet, I’m sorry. I’m feeling overwhelmed and frustrated about everything. I don’t want to put you in danger, and I feel like that’s all I’m doing here. I can’t take the idea that you could lose this battle with Amber, and it would be my fault,” I admit. I want to reach for her again, but I know she’s not ready. I don’t think that I’m ready. Knowing doesn’t make it less painful, though.
“I understand. And I promise, we won’t push you for anything you’re not ready for or don’t want. But you will not be the reason if I fail here. That will be all my fault. I need you by my side. All four of you make me stronger. You give me a reason to fight,” she insists. Part of me understands her point and wants to do whatever I can to help her. The rest of me still feels the aftermath of whatever spell that Amber used to push me toward leaving.
I know that she just preyed on my insecurities, but that doesn’t make it easier to accept.
GARNET
James’ rejection stings. So much so that I can’t keep my hurt and disappointment from flowing along the bond. He’s not shielding his emotions from us, or his thoughts. I promised not to use that against him, so I won’t. I know I’m not the only one who feels the other’s responses to my emotions. I can see it on James’ face.
I understand fear. I’m terrified that I’m going to fuck all of this up and leave them alone. Since James nearly broke our mate bond, I know that the pain of me dying would drive them all mad. I can’t let that happen.
“I can’t make you help me fight Amber, any more than I can make you love me. Those have to be your choices. No one can make those for you. What I will say is that I hope you decide to be part of this family again. I hope you want to help; that you want to love me. We were brought together for a reason. Just think about it. I’ll leave you be for now,” I say, turning and walking out the bedroom door.
For a moment, I think he might follow me. Then I hear the bathroom door slam and the shower kick on. So much for that. I’d hoped that my little speech would be encouraging and inspiring. It doesn’t look like it helped much at all. Instead of cementing our bond back in place, we’re spending time in separate rooms, frustrated, hurt, and angry.
I can’t take these walls right now, so I step outside. I want to scream, but I know people will be scared if I do. Of course, if I make a sound-proof bubble, I can scream as much as I want. I step out into the clearing next to the cabin and focus. I must clear my mind for this to work. Once I’ve calmed my mind, I set to making the clear bubble around myself that will allow me to scream to my heart’s content without startling anyone.
I wonder for a moment if the bubble will interfere with the mate bond, but I shove that thought away. I need this more than I need to be concerned about a hiccup in our bond. With the bubble set in place, I take a deep breath, then let out a blood curdling scream.
I scream and yell, letting myself vent my frustration in this safe space, until I’m spent. Dropping to the ground, I sit cross-legged and start to meditate, not letting the bubble fall. I need a few minutes to recharge after expending that much energy and magic. But I don’t feel like moving, so this is the next best thing.
I close my eyes and clear my mind again, this time focusing on my breathing. I have no idea how long I sat like that, with my eyes closed, just breathing in and out. I feel calmer than I have in a long time. A gasp from outside the bubble and my concentration fails. I open my eyes to see James standing in front of me, staring.
“What?” I ask, looking around as the bubble disintegrates.
“You were surrounded by different colored lights. Fire, water, earth, and air were circling around you, and I wasn’t sure if you were alive or not. What was that?” he asks in awe.
“I needed a quiet place to think,” I say, not wanting to admit that I’d needed to scream for a bit. If he doesn’t know, then he doesn’t need to right now.
“I’ve never seen you do that kind of magic before.” The statement isn’t accusatory, but more curious.
“I’ve never tried it before. It was easier than I expected. As long as I stay focused, my magic is pretty easy to reach and use. I’m hoping that it stays that way when I go to fight Amber,” I admit, then instantly wish I hadn’t.
I don’t want to feed his insecurities or make him think that he’s the reason I could fail at this. It’s not on him. This is my fight; it’s my war. I have to win. I can’t let Amber defeat me. And I can’t admit how scared I really am. To anyone. I keep that particular emotion locked down so that none of my mates can feel it.
I can’t afford for any of them to realize that I might not be ready for what’s coming. We have less than a week to get ready. It’s not enough time, no matter how powerful I am. I’m facing the fact that I’m going to have to kill my aunt before she can kill me.
Given that I haven’t known her for that long, it won’t be as hard as if I’d grown up with her as a part of my family. Then again, I don’t like to kill, even in self-defense. I would rather find a way to defeat her without that kind of violence involved.
I’ve tried everything to come up with a way to do just that. There isn’t one. The only option is death. It’s just a matter of which one of us will die. I hope it’s not me.
James waves a hand in front of my face and says my name. “Garnet.” From his tone, I can tell that he’s said it a few times already, while I was lost in my thoughts.
“Sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?” I feel my cheeks heat as he stares at me.
“I asked if you were really ready to face Amber. She wants to kill you and take your powers. Why can’t we just run away?” James steps closer to me, and I realize that he’s about to reach for me. Could this be the breakthrough I wanted?
“I have no choice but to be ready. I can’t run. Even if I did, she’d find me. Of course, that would be after she killed everyone I’ve ever cared about.”
LUCA
Vincent’s injuries are so much worse than I expected when we walked into the training center. I can see why Mark sent the young ones home. They didn’t need to see this. I wish I hadn’t seen it. I don’t know that I’ll ever get this image out of my head. Just when I think I’ve seen the worst of his injuries, my eye catches something else.
His body is broken, he’s covered with open wounds that are seeping blood and pus. And as if that’s not enough, he has bones sticking out nearly everywhere. But that’s not the thing that makes me feel sick. I can see the magic bubbling under what little unbroken skin there is left. It’s as if the magic is crawling around inside of him, looking for a way out.
Before anyone can say anything, Vincent starts to shake and writhe. “What’s going on?” I ask. Mark looks at me and shrugs.
“This is new. We’ve been trying to treat his wounds the best we can. Obviously, we should get Grammy, but none of us wanted her to see him this way.” I nod at his reasoning. I don’t want Grammy to see this either.
“You made the right choice,” Ryland tells him. “It looks like he’s trying to shift. But he’s barely alive, and not conscious. It has to be the magic forcing it.”
I lean closer as he thrashes, noticing something strange. “Ryland, Orym, look at this,” I say, holding Vincent’s head still and pulling his upper lip away from his teeth. “These don’t look like wolf fangs.”
“Fuck. Amber gave him the mutation potion. I wonder if that’s what broke him,” Orym says quietly.
“It’s possible, but there’s no way for us to know for sure without asking Amber. Since we can’t do that, we need to prepare for what needs to happen next. There’s no way we can save him, especially if he has magic inside preventing him from getting any real rest.” It takes a moment for Ryland’s words to sink in, and then I realize that he’s talking about killing Vincent.
“You can’t mean—” Orym stops himself short of saying the words out loud.
Ryland nods somberly. “I’ll do what I must. It’s my responsibility as territory alpha. I can’t let one of my wolves suffer like this. I would expect any of you to do the same for me in this situation.”
Knowing that it’s what any of us would want doesn’t make it any easier to make this decision. And understanding that it’s the right thing to do won’t ease the pain I see on my alpha’s face.
“We’re here with you, Ryland. We’ll do whatever you need us to,” I offer. I know that he won’t let either of us do this for him, but that won’t stop me from offering to help.
“Good, because I’ll need you both to hold him down. I’m going to make it as painless as possible,” he says.
RYLAND
Logically, my decision makes sense. It’s the right thing to do, even if I’m not sure I can actually follow through. These are my people; this is my responsibility.
I ask Luca and Orym to hold him still while I step away to grab a hunting knife. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Red won’t have to see this. She grew up thinking this man was her brother, and even though they hated each other, I know that she loved him too.
Pushing those thoughts away, I grip the knife tighter and turn back to Vincent. Or rather, what’s left of him. Orym and Luca look uncomfortable, and somehow that eases my mind a little. I’m not doing this alone. My pack is with me. I step up to the table where they’re holding his arms and legs down.
He’s still thrashing, but they’re using blankets to hold him in place, since we’d rather not get stabbed with jagged bones covered in magic goo. I nod to Mark, and he grips Vincent’s head. Once he has one hand on the top of his head, and the other on his chin, I take a deep breath.
I plunge the hunting knife into Vincent’s head at the temple. With it fully inserted, I twist a little, and Vincent stops moving. “We’ll bury him before anyone sees what happened,” Mark offers. I nod, stepping away from the body.
Doing the right thing shouldn’t feel this bad. I force myself to take one last look at Vincent before Mark and a couple of other shifters cover him up. I’ll never get this image out of my head. I close my eyes for a moment and watch myself stabbing into his brain. This one will be hard to keep from Red.
As much as I want to protect her from this, I know that I can’t. We’ll have to tell her before she sees it through the bond. There’s no way we can actively block her forever. And even if we could, it’s not fair to her. I just want to spare her the gory details.
Almost as soon as I have the thought, the training center door slams open and Red rushes in. “Where is he?” she asks before her eyes lock on the corpse laying on the table, currently being wrapped up by Mark, Dave, and Steve. Red shoves them out of the way and uncovers Vincent. Tears flow down her face. “What happened to him?”
She looks from him to me, then Luca, then Orym. “Did Amber do this to him?”
“Most of it, yeah,” I say, taking her hand and pulling her away from him. “But, Red, I killed him. He was suffering, and it had to be done.”
She freezes in my arms. “You didn’t even give me a chance to heal him.”
“There was nothing left to heal, Red. He was too far gone.”
She glares at me.
GARNET
“You can’t know that. I could have healed him,” I insist. It doesn’t matter that I know this isn’t something Ry would do lightly. I believe I could have saved him.
“Amber gave him the potion, Red,” Luca offers. I whip my head around and stare at him.
“What?”
“The hybrid potion. She gave it to him. And he reacted badly; just look at his injuries. There’s no way a wolf shifter should ever be injured this badly. His natural healing would have taken over at some point. But it didn’t. What does that tell you?” Orym steps in to explain.
“That bitch,” I cry. “I will kill her.” The vow leaves my lips before I even realize that I’ve said it. An hour ago, I was trying to figure out how to end this without violence. Now, I want to do to Amber exactly what she did to Vincent. He may not have actually been my brother, but we grew up thinking that was the case.
My four mates stare at me. I won’t apologize for what I said. Or for racing down here with James struggling to keep up. I spent my life training with wolves, after all. The moment I felt something off with Luca, I knew I had to get down here. I wasn’t expecting this.
I feel as if salt has been poured into the cracks of my heart. It was just starting to heal from James destroying it. But losing Vincent burns. It makes me crave revenge, even more than I did when she kidnapped Luca.
If he hadn’t escaped, I would have killed her then, or died trying. But now, this feels like she’s just rubbing it in that she can do what she wants to anyone. And I will not stand for that. I can’t.
“Red, take a breath. We can’t go off half-cocked or she’ll have the upper hand,” Ry warns. I shake my head at him.
“I’m not going to chase her down right now. But I will kill her. On the evening of the Wolf Moon, when she plans to kill me. Let her think she’s gotten away with this for now. She doesn’t think I’m strong enough to take her on, much less to kill her.” I hate how much I enjoy the thought of torturing Amber. I want to snuff out her life like she did to every single one of her captives who’ve been killed so far.
I want her to feel that moment of panic just before it happens. I can almost feel the darkness creeping into my soul, and I welcome it.
“Garnet? We should let them take care of the body. You don’t want Grammy to see this,” James suggests, finally stepping close enough to touch me. I want to push him away; to punish him for rejecting me. But I don’t. Instead, I let him drag me into his arms and hold me while I cry against his chest.
I don’t watch as the three guys wrap Vincent up and take his body away. I need to tell Grammy what happened, but I can’t do it right now. “Let me tell her,” James offers, passing me to Orym. “I’ll handle it and be back as soon as I can.” He kisses the top of my head and is gone before I can say anything to stop him.
Orym holds me tightly, as if that will keep me together. I feel broken inside—it’s a feeling I’m getting used to, and I don’t like it. Everything that’s happened to us plays over in my head, and the more I relive, the angrier I get. It doesn’t matter that I’m broken. My mates can put me back together again.
I have to fight this; I can’t give in to the sadness. I won’t let Amber win. We’ve lost too much to give up now. There have been way too many sacrifices in this war. It’s time we turn the tables.
“We need to go home. I have spells to prepare, and magic to practice,” I say, wiping my eyes and stepping out of Orym’s embrace.
“Shouldn’t we wait for James?” Luca asks, gesturing toward Grammy’s cabin.
“He’ll be with her for a while. She won’t be surprised, but she won’t take the news well,” I offer. I’ve known that woman my entire life. I am certain that I can gauge her reaction to this situation. She’s going to be as pissed as I am. But she’ll need time to process first.
“Trevan is with her, though,” Ry reminds me. I nod, but I still think James is using this as an excuse for space. Who knows? Maybe Grammy will talk some sense into him while he’s there comforting her.
“James will be back when he’s done. We can’t worry about that now. I have to get things ready. Time is running out,” I insist, walking toward the door. I know that they’ll follow me, if for no other reason than they don’t want me walking around alone in the forest. My aunt is out to get me, after all.
The walk back to the cabin is quiet. I’m not sure how long it took, or even if anyone tried to talk to me. I’m caught up in going over my spell books in my mind while trying not to trip over tree roots. I race through the door to the cabin and head straight for my books. It’s strange how this has encouraged me instead of discouraging me.
I can’t let myself think about the fact that Ry was the one who took care of it, either. It had to be done, and he handled his responsibility. Part of me resents him for not letting me try to heal Vincent, but I have to let that go. I can’t let that be a way for Amber to get to me. I won’t let her manipulate me the way she did James.