Chapter 15
Serena
The weekend rolls around, bringing in a new surge of energy for me. A perfect distraction if I do say so myself. I’ve been looking forward to working all day. Work allows me to not think about Tyler and our recent conversations. I don’t even want to think about the recurring dreams about him. Dreams that include us going on dates, talking until the sunrises and so much more that makes butterflies flutter inside every minute.
He’s texted me a few times since our last session about a few questions about schoolwork and not get-to-know-me-questions. And I’m glad it’s been that way. I need to remind myself that we’ll only ever be friends. I already locked the gate to my heart and threw the key out in the trash so there’s no going back on my word.
Tyler: i can’t get this one right idk what i’m doing wrong. (Attachment Image)
Serena: i’ll take a look, give me a few minute s
Tyler: wait no, come back. i like it better when you’re around
Serena: shut up
Serena: i figured it out, here! (Attachment Image)
Tyler: thanks
Tyler: craving a thai green tea
Serena: you can never go wrong with it
Tyler: we should grab some, or maybe i can stop by if you’re working :)
I let out a sigh, watching as my bangs sway with the exhale. I put my phone down and immediately take a sip of water from the glass that had probably been there too long. He’s getting too close and too comfortable, and I’m not ready for it.
Letting people in has never been my thing. It’s something I’m wary of. I once dated a guy who I told everything to, and poured my heart out in front of, because that’s what you do in relationships, right? It’s what I’ve learned from all the books and movies, all that jazz. Then my heart got ripped to shreds. I’m saying he surgically removed it from my chest and shoved it into a paper shredder.
A customer leaves, making the chimes ring, bringing me back to reality, back to my current problems.
Unfortunately, but also luckily, my car has been declared not safe to drive due to issues I don’t understand. I’m letting Ralph handle all of that, so until it’s fixed, Jared drops me off at work with a promise to pick me up when my shift ends.
The first few hours of my night shift are steady. There’s a concert happening in town so foot traffic was heavy earlier but now it’s decreasing as the night grows older.
Is It Over Now by Taylor Swift plays in the shop, making me hum along to the song while I’m absentmindedly cleaning and refilling our topping station.
God, I think the chorus is my favorite part. I’ve moved from quietly humming to casually singing, the rhythm syncing with the swish of the sponge as I wipe the counter.
“ And did you think I didn’t see you? There were flashing lights. At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight. Only rumors ’bout my hips and thighs and my whispered sighs– ”
“Serena? ”
I drop the sponge.
You have to be joking .
Calm, cool, collected. I spin around with the brightest smile like I wasn’t just having a party of one. “Hi, what can I get you?” I feel my heart racing out of my chest. I don’t have a mirror near me, but I just know I’m starting to blush at Tyler’s appearance.
He greets me with a cheeky smile and a binder tucked under his arm, “Thai green tea. Less ice, no toppings please.”
“Sure.” I finish the transaction once he hands over a $10 bill and start making his drink.
Why is he here? Just when I thought I could drown myself in work to shove all Tyler’s thoughts, he comes crashing in like a tidal wave.
I finish making his drink and place it on the counter for him. “Here you go.” I pull a black boba straw and lay it on top of the drink.
“Thanks,” He rips out the straw and stabs it into his drink, taking a big sip. “Sorry for just showing up, I texted you earlier.”
My brows furrow together. I reach into my apron and pull out my phone. He did text me a couple of times, but I must’ve been so busy from the earlier rush that I didn’t feel my phone vibrate. “Sorry, we were busy earlier.” I stash my phone back in my apron and meet his deep blue eyes, “What do you need help with?”
Tyler gestures at the closest booth behind him and I follow along. We only have less than an hour left before we close so I make the executive decision to chill out until we officially close.
We slide in the booth and Tyler opens his binder and slides it towards me. He points at a particular problem, “I’ve been stuck on this for a while. I can’t get the right answer but my work checks out.”
I pull the binder close to me and examine his work. I bite my lip, deep in thought as I check over the problem. Pointing to a specific line in his calculations, I draw out the breath I’d been unconsciously holding, “I think I see where you went wrong. You didn’t account for the sine component in this part, which affects the answer.”
Tyler leans in closer to get a better look, his eyes fixed on my finger as I trace the problem. “Fuck, I see it now,” he says with a relieved smile. “I couldn’t figure out where I went wrong.”
“No problem. It happens.”
Tyler rubs a hand down his face and groans, “I don’t know how I’ll make it through the semester… let alone the year.”
“It’s okay, Tyler. Trigonometry is complicated. ”
“We only meet a few times and I’m showing up at your job for just one problem.” Frustration fills Tyler by the way he exhales a long groan, and his chin tilts up in clear irritation. “I’m an idiot sandwich.”
I reach out, placing a comforting hand on his. “You’re not an idiot. Don’t call yourself that.”
“Thanks, but I just feel stuck, like I’m a failure.”
Before I can even think, I blurt out, “We can meet on the weekends if you want for more sessions.”
“I can’t ask you to do that for me. We already meet twice a week.”
I wave a hand like it’s no big deal even though deep down, I think this is a bad idea–more so for me, not him. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure? You work and I’d hate for you to give up your free time as it is.”
My eyes betray me, lingering on his lips. I mentally snap out of it and wave my hand again dramatically. “It’s okay, truly. We can meet on Saturdays here. You can work on your homework, and I can check in when you need me if there are no orders.”
Tyler gazes at me but I can’t read his expression. “I owe you.”
I cross my arms as I lean back against the booth. I smirk, “Get in line. ”
Tyler snorts at my response. “You have a line? Any way to cut the line and be first?”
“Slow your roll.” I laugh nervously while shaking my head wildly fast so he can’t see the sweat beads forming on my forehead. I turn my head back to the counter and notice Dylan walking up and surveying the empty dining area.
Planting both hands on his hips, he says, “Hey Ser, I don’t think anyone is going to come in. You should head home.”
I fist bump gently to myself so Dylan doesn’t see, making Tyler chuckle quietly.
I clock out on the register and grab my tote bag. I pull out my phone to shoot a quick text to Jared. To my surprise, he already texted me letting me know he can’t pick me up because Beckham had an extra ticket for the concert that’s happening nearby. He apologized profusely knowing this means I’ll have to ask Alli or Ralph for a ride home, but he promised he’d make it up to me.
I smile to myself and click my tongue. I swipe a text back to Jared telling him it’s okay and for him to show me videos of the concert later.
“Everything okay?” Tyler pipes up. He’s not sitting at the booth but standing on the other side of the counter.
I stash my phone back in my bag. “Yeah, Jared was my ride home. Seems like he’s at that concert. ”
“Good thing I’m here.” Tyler suddenly bows to me like I’m the Queen. “I can drive you home.”
“Tyler,” I tug on my tote bag, looking down at my shoes. “I can’t.”
“How are you going to get home?”
“I can take the bus.”
“Like hell you are.”
Before I can protest further, he grabs my bag and slings it over his shoulder. “I’m taking you home. Don’t fight me on it, please?”
I rock back on my heels. “Okay.” I trail behind him as we walk out of Boba Republic, heading for his car that’s shining under the streetlamps.
Same as last time, he opens the passenger door for me and waits for me to hop in.
“I can open the door myself, you know?”
“I know.”
I scoff at his response and climb in. Tyler sets my bag by my feet and jogs over to the driver’s seat. He starts the car but before he puts it in reverse, he glances at me and the LED screen on the dash. “Wanna DJ? ”
I’m embarrassed that he’s asking me this, knowing that he saw my hopeless romantic playlist the other day.
I reach down for my phone, “Sure.” After a few taps, I’m connected to his car’s Bluetooth. I’m thinking of what playlist to choose from as I’m scrolling down Spotify. There’s only one that catches my eye and I grin in satisfaction. The perfect playlist.
Double take by dhruv plays softly throughout his car as Tyler drives out of the parking spot. “I love this song.” He looks over at me with a smile, one hand on the wheel and the other casually propped on the side of the door. “What’s the playlist called?”
“Don’t laugh.”
“I promise.” Tyler holds out his pinky like we’re children who are making a sacred deal amongst each other. “Scout’s honor.”
I take his pinky in mine and we lock it before I say, “It’s called, um, vroom vroom mothafucker .”
Tyler raises a brow. Just when I think he might actually laugh at me, the corners of his lips curve up and his eyes twinkle in amusement. “A+ name.”
“Thanks.”
We sit in silence for the entire song. Tyler’s eyes are on the road, which impresses me. I tend to get anxious in car rides ever since my dad died in a car accident, no matter who the driver is. The ride home from Boba Republic is only twenty minutes if we take the highway. The back roads take way too long because everyone uses them to avoid the highways. I don’t blame them. Even though I have my license and can drive on the highway–when required–it’s terrifying having to merge in and out on the interstate and I don’t trust other drivers when they zoom past my little Volkswagen Jetta and make the entire vehicle shake from the speeding force. I glance outside the window, admiring the city lights flashing by to give myself a distraction from the boy sitting next to me.
The air between us is cool and strangely comforting. Despite my efforts to distract myself from thoughts of Tyler, the proximity seems to have the opposite effect. The scent of his cologne, a blend of citrus and sandalwood, envelops us, creating an irresistible atmosphere. It’s intoxicating and it’s pulling me in, when all I’m trying to do is pull back. It’s becoming a challenge to remind myself that I’m trying to friendzone Tyler.
I mentally slap myself. Friends offer friends rides home. That’s all we are. If I keep repeating it, Tyler won’t be living rent-free in my head. Let’s just hope my heart will be in sync with my head on this. The current song fades out into lowkey by NIKI. I sneak a quick glance at Tyler who bobs his head to the beat, which unknowingly brings a smile to my face.
“This song is nice,” Tyler says, breaking the comfortable silence .
“It’s one of my favorites. If I could only listen to one song for the first time, this would be it.”
Tyler doesn’t respond, he continues bobbing his head to the song as he merges onto the highway. It’s a slow merge, which draws my attention to the road.
“What the fuck? Why is there traffic?”
There’s bumper to bumper traffic now. All I see are multiple cars ahead, red tail lights scattered through the highway. We’re not even off the merging road, we’re still trying to get on the main road.
“Must be because of the concert,” Tyler explains as he shifts in his seat to get a better view of his blind spot. Luckily, the car next to us on the main road lets us merge in front of him, so we’re now sitting ducks until traffic dies down. Tyler fishes out his phone off the car mount, “It says there’s an accident. I think we’ll be stuck here for a while.”
“Ugh,” I groan as I slam my head against the seat. “This is not how I wanted to spend my night.”
“At least we’re spending it together.”
I pretend I didn’t hear him say that. I bring both my knees to my chest, trying to get comfy for however long we’re stuck in the car .
The song changes to WESTSIDE by keshi. I sneak a glance and he’s paying attention to the road but it’s no use, since we barely moved two inches. I can tell he likes this song. I watch his deep blue eyes widen at the beginning of guitar acoustics and keshi’s soft, addictive voice kicks the song off.
I elbow his arm, “I know I have great taste in music.”
Tyler scoffs at my smugness. “You gonna share any of your playlists with me then?”
I roll my eyes, hoping my face isn’t betraying me by blushing. “I can share a few, but not all of them.”
“Gatekeeping songs?”
“Not gatekeeping, more like not trying to embarrass myself even more.”
Tyler nudges my arm to get my attention, changing subjects. “Tell me your favorite song.”
“Why?”
He shrugs.
I unbend my legs from my chest and relax in my seat. “Style by Taylor Swift.”
“Why? ”
“Is that your favorite thing to ask?” I counter but Tyler shrugs at my question so I answer, “I don’t know, it’s a song that boosts my mood, and singing to it can be fun.”
Tyler nods in acknowledgment and responds with his answer. “As a fellow Swiftie, I approve.”
A soft laugh bubbles up, and I shake my head at his response. “What’s your favorite song?”
Tyler takes a few seconds to answer, his hand still gripping the wheel. A mischievous smile appears, “For me to know, you to find out.”
I turn my head and scoff to the side, recalling how I used that same statement a week ago. “That’s not fair.”
“Trade for trade.”
I raise a brow at him. “What are you saying?”
“We’re going to be stuck in traffic for a while and if you haven’t noticed, we’ve barely moved.”
“Your point?”
Tyler grins as he leans back in his seat. “I’m saying, let’s trade. I’ll share something about me, and you share something about you. It’ll make this traffic jam fun.”
“Okay, but if you ask me something, or vice versa, that neither of us wants to answer? ”
“Then you call the safe word.”
“Which is?”
“Tapioca.”
Tyler smirks at me and I know my cheeks failed me and are on Tyler’s side, since I feel them get heated. I turn my head to the window to hide my blushing face, “You first.”
Tyler chuckles and clears his throat. “Favorite food?”
“Pizza.” I turn back to him for my turn. “Yours?”
Tyler’s gaze falls to the road as we’re able to move up a few more inches, and progress. “Same but specifically from Rocky’s. Meat lover’s pizza is the best.”
“I agree!” I exclaim, hands up in the air. “Alli loves ordering their supreme pizza. But I love a good meat pizza, so I end up picking off the pieces I don’t like. She calls me psycho.”
“I wouldn’t say that’s psycho, but definitely a red flag.”
“Whatever.” I slap his arm gently which makes Tyler hold his arm as if I actually hurt him. I think about what to ask next. “Favorite book?”
“I haven’t read in a while, but I liked The Hunger Games.”
“Impressive.” I quip. “You did say you bake wonderful chocolate chip cookies, must be your inner Peeta Mellark. ”
“Don’t worry. I’m still planning on making you a batch.”
My mouth parts at his offer. The universe is making it extremely hard for me to keep him in the friend zone. If he keeps offering me cookies and a ride home, the barrier that I constructed will break.
Tyler’s eyes are back on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other tucked into his chin. His jawline is wicked sharp as he’s slowly inching through traffic.
I shouldn’t be thinking he’s hot right now, but damn, he looks so good. The way his dark hair falls across his forehead does unimaginable things to my brain. It’s like every strand is perfectly placed and I want to run my hand through it so bad.
I continue, “The Summer of Broken Rules is a good read.”
Tyler shifts his eyes at me before turning it back to the road. “I’ll have to check it out sometime.” He starts tapping his fingers on the wheel, “Tell me about a dream you have or a goal, whichever.”
Well, that got deep.
I let out a big breath. “It’s silly.”
“I won’t judge,” he peers over at me, “we pinky promised.”
“Okay,” I start picking at my hair tie again. “I haven’t really lived my life. So, I just want to live, truly and honestly. ”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s complicated.”
“We have time.” He gestures to the front where we’re still very far from our exit.
I sigh softly, facing him slightly while still picking at my hair tie. “I was homeschooled for three years.” There’s a tiny bit of hesitation in my voice, but something inside me urges me to continue. “I never got to live my life.”
“We’re still in high school, though. We’re only eighteen, we still have more ahead of us.” Tyler says with a casual smile that shouldn’t make my palms clammy, but it does anyway.
“Yeah, no, you’re right. It’s just…” I reposition myself to face him, “everyone our age goes out to the lake every summer, goes to parties, Friday night games, and then there’s me. I’ve worked for most of my teenage years and rarely go out.”
“I’ve seen Alli at a couple of parties, though.” He suggests doubtfully.
“I mean, she’s invited me but,” I shrug, resting my head against my hand, as my elbow props up on my knee. “I think I grew to be comfortable. I’ll have movie nights in my backyard, and I work at the shop. I’m practically nobody here.”
Tyler laughs softly and shakes his head in a relaxed way, and I do the same .
“That’s why,” I emphasize, pointing my finger for an extra oof in my sentence, “I enrolled at Skyline… so I can live my life.”
Tyler stays quiet. Crap, maybe I said too much. I said too much, shared too much, it was too intense. Way to go .
“What’s the first thing you want to do?” He finally asks.
I whip my head to him, a little shocked he said something. I shake my head slightly and think back to the list I made earlier this summer. Should I tell him about my list? But what if he really judges me about that? Then again, I’ve told him a few embarrassing things at this point and mentioned things I haven’t opened up to others about. So, I gamble and lay out my cards for him.
I admit softly, “I have a list.”
“Like a bucket list?”
I nod.
“Can I see it?”
“Excuse me?” I gape at him. He’s not saying what I think he’s saying, right?
Tyler gazes at me, his summer blue eyes casting a spell on me. “Come on,” he raises his brows, “I can help you cross a few things. I’m sure.”
“Tyler, I can’t just ask you to help me. ”
“The fuck you can.”
“Tyler,” I say sternly.
“Serena.”
My brows inch up at the sound of my name rolling off his tongue. I scratch my head and sigh heavily. “Tyler, you can’t. You have a life and responsibilities outside of this.”
“Think of it like this, sunshine,” he shrugs like it’s nothing, “you’re helping me out with trigonometry and the extra lessons on the weekend. This can be my way of repayment for you going out of your way to help me.”
The logic makes sense, but I can’t bring myself to agree. The unknown scares me and if I agree to this, I don’t know what will come out of it. But there’s another side of me who’s done living her life in the shadows, so I take the risk and say, “Okay.”
“Okay,” Tyler responds and we shake on it.
Traffic starts to die down and we’re finally picking up speed and the exit sign is in sight. I open Spotify on my phone and change the song to Thick and Thin by LANY.
“You really should share that playlist with me.”
I scoff, “Why should I?”
“I like anything you like. Thai green tea, our favorite food is pizza and we like it from the same restaurant and now this playlist.” He glances over, that gaze I swear is piercing through the walls I built between us. “I think we’re meant to be.”