5. Chapter 5
Theo
I t was a hairbrush, a simple hairbrush. There was no magical power or enchantment to it, but it captivated me anyway. Even now, hours later, the image of it sitting on my dresser like it belonged there felt both right and wrong at the same time.
In the early days after I lost Myra, it was finding her things around the house that had been the hardest. One of the major reasons I moved out here to the cabin was because the reminders of her filled every room. First from the presence of her things, and then from the absence of them. Those random objects that had no deeper meaning except for their own natural purpose had been the hardest things to deal with.
Her wooden trunk in my room held special memories, as well as a few other things I’d kept. Deeper meaning, and something that would always connect us. Onyx’s hairbrush gave a glimpse of daily life. A shared daily life where someone else’s things were mixed among my own. It wasn’t special, nor did it carry any kind of unique importance, but it struck me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. Wonder. It brought wonder. The weirdest part of it all... I liked it. It brought me a strange sense of joy to see it sitting there so casually.
Which... kind of freaked me out, but also not as much as I expected it to. Sitting with Onyx on the porch this morning had been unexpected. I hated how awkward I felt about trying to converse, but I liked hearing them talk. They seemed to have this liveliness about them, which made me feel good in their presence. If only I knew what to do with myself.
Aside from brief interactions with customers or other vendors at Heartcraft, or talking with clients about custom pieces, it had been a long time since holding an actual non-work-related chat. Talking for the sake of talking. To say I was relieved when Onyx popped up and suddenly needed to do something would be an understatement. But as soon as they were gone, and I was left to myself, as I always was, it felt too quiet. Their absence was tangible, and I could no longer sit out there in the void they left behind.
Here I was, hiding in the barn once more. I’d never considered it hiding before; it was simply work. There were always things to work on and I never minded it, keeping my brain occupied and my hands busy. It felt strangely different now. Hiding, avoiding, when what I really wanted was to soak up more of the light from the person currently in my house. The person currently sitting in my bed like they belonged there as much as their hairbrush belonged on my dresser.
“Fuck.” I scrubbed a hand over my scruffy face. What was wrong with me? Why was I finding their presence so hard to ignore? I’d been by myself long enough and had had a few people catch my eye, but it was never anything more than that. There was something about Onyx that was stirring up feelings that have been dormant for a long time.
Slapping my face lightly on both cheeks, I tried to clear my head, only to have the image of them in my bed before they noticed me in the doorway return. They had been writing with the kind of excitement I used to get when a new project came together. I may not have seen their face clearly because of the notebook in front of them, but I could see it shining out of them. I probably stayed there longer than I should have before they noticed me.
Well... shit . The barn was too quiet, and my brain too scattered. Perhaps some fresh air would do me good. I walked outside and toward the cabin, hesitating for a moment before remembering Onyx telling me I didn’t have to knock in my own home. It still felt strange to just barge in, knowing someone was inside, so I opened the door cautiously. When I didn’t hear or see them, I grabbed the axe by the front door and headed to the log pile at the back of the barn.
I had enough wood for a few nights, and Onyx would only be here for one more night, but it felt like something I could do that would be productive, and I wanted to make sure it would be warm and cozy for someone not used to the weather here. I stood a log up on the stump I used as a chopping block. Raising my axe high, I brought it down with a controlled swing, splitting the log cleanly in half.
The physical action of it and the satisfaction of seeing the wood break apart were always invigorating. As much as I loved the creative side of turning pieces of wood into beautiful objects, the destructive side was cathartic. I continued chopping until the cool evening air wisped over the sweat on my brow and the back of my neck, reminding me it would soon be cold enough that no amount of physical exertion would keep me warm in the thin tee I wore. Over the years, I had adapted to the cooler temperatures, but I wasn’t immune to it.
A new, large pile of wood now stood beside two others, where it could dry out and be ready to use for firewood. I planned to go inside, get a fire going, warm up the house, and figure out what to do for dinner. Which seemed like a much more difficult task than chopping logs.
Before hauling wood in, my first trip was to return my axe to the place where it lived by the door. I never left it on the ground or anywhere outside. It would just be asking for an accident, and heavy, sharp blade versus human flesh; the axe will win every time.
When I opened the door, I once again looked around for Onyx. I didn't want to sneak up on them wielding an axe. They'd seemed pretty anxious about it when they first got here. They were nowhere in sight, but then I heard a sound that made heat rush through me. Heat that made me feel like I could survive the cold night in a T-shirt.
The shower. Onyx was in the shower .
Fuck me. I needed to do something quick to think of anything but the water dripping from their long, black hair. Hurrying outside, I gulped the stinging cold air, grateful for its bite to cool me from the internal heat. I went to the woodpile and collected as many pieces of wood as I could carry. As I returned to the cabin door, I blew out a deep breath and stepped inside. The shower was off, which was better… and somehow worse all at once.
Doing my best to ignore the idea of the very naked, intriguingly beautiful person in my house, I hunched down in front of the fireplace and began stacking the wood next to it. I placed a crosshatch of logs on the rack inside, opened the flue, and stuck crumpled newspaper under the logs to get the fire started. Using the long lighter I kept on the mantel above the fireplace, I lit the newspaper, and sat back to watch if the logs caught. By the time I heard my bedroom door open, a nice, healthy fire was going.
“Oh! What a lovely surprise! It feels warmer in here already, though the hot shower helped, too. I hope you don't mind.”
I felt my lip tug up on one side at the sound of their voice. I stood and turned around, my breath catching in my throat when I saw them. Their damp hair was loose, hanging down over a bare shoulder where the loose sweater they wore slouched down. Small swells were noticeable through the knitted fabric, which made my pulse quicken, and I swiftly moved my gaze away, taking in the rest of them. They wore leggings under the slouchy sweater that looked like they could be their second skin. Their feet were in those fuzzy slippers again, giving the whole ensemble a cozy, stay-at-home aesthetic, instead of looking like they could go out to dinner, or to a club, or damn near anywhere with how stunning they were. Hell, even with the fuzzy slippers, they looked like they could fit in anywhere.
When my gaze traveled back up and met theirs again, their pink lips were pressed together as if trying to suppress a grin. Pink lips, just bright enough to know they applied color. Their hazel eyes popped with the hint of makeup on them, matching the green sweater they wore. Absolutely stunning. So stunning, in fact, that I had no recollection of what they said.
“I'm sorry, what?”
Onyx chuckled. “The shower? I didn't ask, but I hope it's all right. I got done writing and realized I could use a little freshening up.”
“Yeah. That's fine. Probably a good idea.”
A loud laugh burst from them. “Well... gee... thanks. I guess I looked as grungy as I felt.”
My eyes rounded, and my heart raced. “Shit! No! That's not what I meant. Me! It's a good idea for me . I need to shower. You look really good.”
“I do ?” Onyx said with a tease as they put their hands on their hips.
“Yes, uh... I... uh...” I felt a bead of sweat forming beneath my beanie. Why was this so hard? “I like... your slippers.”
Onyx snorted. “My slippers?”
I swiped the back of my hand across my forehead. “I don't have a foot fetish or anything, I swear. They're just... cute, yeah.” Why the hell did I just say foot fetish? If I could slap myself without looking any more unhinged, I would.
“Cute,” Onyx said with a smirk.
I wasn't sure if they were simply parroting me, or if they were commenting on my blabbering. Either way, a hint of amusement danced across their face, making my own heat up. Now seemed like the perfect time to escape. No, actually, the perfect time would have been two minutes ago before the words ‘foot fetish’ came out of my mouth. “I'm going to...” I pointed to my room, and then forced my feet to move in that direction, with Onyx laughing as I passed them.
Well, that was a shitshow and a half. Maybe I should have people over more often, so I could brush up on my people skills. A shudder rolled through me at the idea of more people in my home. No... maybe not.
In the bathroom, I started the hot water, thinking how nice it would feel on my aching back. It was one thing to be a little sore after chopping wood—that was nothing new—but add in a terrible night’s sleep on a couch too small for me to recline comfortably, and it didn't help.
The first step into the shower, a sigh released from me as the hot water hit my chest. I grabbed my hard shampoo bar and scrubbed it over my hair. One of the vendors at Heartcraft sold honey, pollen, and beeswax-based products. He had his own apiary and used the by-products he harvested from his bees. I might not be the most social person, but I liked buying natural products, and I was always in favor of less plastic waste. As the shampoo sudsed up, my eye caught a collection of bottles on the corner of the tub—bottles that weren't mine. They were the reusable type you could fill with your own supplies, so they didn’t have any brand labels on them.
It was a bad idea. A terrible, awful, bad idea. An idea that, once it poked its head up, was impossible to let go.
My hand was reaching for the shampoo before I could stop myself. This was Onyx's personal shampoo; the one they brought from home. I felt like such a creeper, but the hint I’d gotten from them in the kitchen yesterday had my curiosity going wild. This was not normal behavior for me. Although nothing about this whole thing was normal.
I popped the cap, closed my eyes, and placed the bottle under my nose, breathing it in. A sweet, tropical scent hit my nose. Coconut with a hint of something floral. It reminded me of a warm day at the beach. I sniffed it again like I could get high off it, and maybe I could. At least one part of me was trying to defy gravity. My cock swelled, and an ache was building. Arousal that wasn't faceless or nameless as it often was, with no one to inspire it. No, now a very clear, very intriguing face came to mind. Onyx .
With the warm water washing over my body, the scent of their shampoo in my nose, and those soft pink lips in my mind, I wrapped my hand around my hard shaft and gave a slow pull. Fuuuck ! Having a fantasy in mind made me feel hotter than I had in... I didn't know how long. I was half tempted to lose myself to the sensations overtaking me. The shampoo bottle was still in my other hand.
What if I used a little and fucked into my hand with it? I could come smelling like them. The shock of how powerfully that thought affected me had my eyes flinging open. Get a hold of yourself, Theo, you’re not some horny teenager.
In a panic, I closed the cap and put the bottle back with the others. Needing something stronger to redirect my thoughts, I turned the water all the way cold, hissing when the hot water was gone. I had to rinse my hair and wash quickly, eager to get out of the shower as soon as possible. I looked down at my dick to see it had not only softened, but was currently trying to go into hiding to get away from the cold. A sigh escaped me. Cold shower for the win.
What the fuck had I been thinking ? As if I wasn't already acting shady enough, using their shampoo would definitely be crossing a line—even if it was a total turn on.
Before that line of thinking got me in trouble again, I scruffed my towel over my body to dry. If it were just me, I probably would have thrown on some ratty old sweats, but I wasn’t alone. Onyx was here, and they were wearing a sexy sweater-legging combo. The least I could do was try to match their level of dress, especially for our last evening together.
My stomach sank at the thought. I hardly knew anything about Onyx and had already fucked things up by trying to talk. Foot fetish... really? Still, the idea of Onyx leaving bothered me more than it had a right to. I shook the thought away. It didn't matter. It was always meant to be temporary.