8. Chapter 8
Onyx
M aybe I was going a little hard with teasing him, but it was just so freaking cute to see him get flustered. Besides, I wouldn't be doing it if I thought he wasn’t interested. He was, though, even if he wasn't sure what to do about it.
Five years. That was a long time to be alone and grieving. I really didn't want to push him sooner than he was ready, but I figured at least I could let him see it was okay. I could flirt and be bold and show him he was allowed to be interested, and I was very much open to it. Extremely open.
The man was handsome and built, but he seemed to be a true gentleman, too. I might have fallen half in love with him at the way he didn't even seem to blink about me being nonbinary.
I expressed myself more femme and loved the breast growth I'd achieved from the years I micro-dosed, allowing slower changes from the hormone therapy. I didn’t want to go the full feminization route, because there were things I loved about the masculine side of me as well. I didn’t conform to gender rules, because neither ever felt right. Instead, I had been on low doses long enough to grow my itty-bitty titties, giving me the figure I loved, and then I stopped. My boobs were mine to keep, but some of the other effects from the hormones leveled back out. I loved my body, all of it. I found the balance that fit me perfectly and confidently lived beyond the binary.
I'd had a moment of worry when he'd been spooning me and his hand was on my chest that I wasn't sure if Theo had any preconceived notions about me or what he might find between my legs. So, I faced it head on and led him to it. I could feel his momentary surprise, but he didn't jerk his hand away or yell. I imagined his surprise came from the entire situation, more than simply feeling my cock, because there was no denying the way his eyes tracked my boner when I got up, or the unmistakable grunts I'd heard from the bathroom. Knowing he'd jerked himself off after made me feel powerfully sexy, not to mention incredibly horny, and I had taken advantage of my time in the shower to relieve some of my own tension.
The worry was natural with any new partner, something I always had to be aware of, but it was such a non-issue for Theo, which was refreshing and charming as hell. Hearing him call me beautiful, and knowing it was completely genuine, felt pretty amazing, too. Damn , I really wished we could have more time together. Theo seemed like he was just starting to open up and get a little more comfortable, and I could admit I was very interested in seeing where it could go.
We were in his truck, driving toward the main part of town. As much as I was looking forward to it, I wasn’t ready for whatever this thing with Theo was to end yet.
“Hey!” The word burst out of me so suddenly, Theo jumped and swerved the truck slightly.
He slid a worried glance over to me. “What happened?”
“Oh, shit, nothing. Everything is fine, sorry. I just had an idea.”
Theo gave a soft chuckle while his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel. “Okay. What's your idea?”
“Well, I was just thinking you should follow me... on social media, I mean. I would look you up, but I'm on sabbatical and cannot be trusted to go online without getting sucked in.”
“You want me to... follow you?”
I tucked my hair behind my ear, feeling strangely nervous. “Well... yeah. I like you, Theo. I know it was a strange situation that threw us together, but I'd like to stay in touch.” I would like a whole lot more than simply staying in touch. I wanted his touch all over my body, and to be held in those strong arms. But whatever happened or didn’t, I wanted to at least have an option for this to continue beyond today.
Theo nodded, and I could see the side of his lip pull up at the corner. “I think I'd like that, too. Take my phone and you can set it up?”
I took it from him and stared in disbelief. “You want me to go on your social media?”
“Sure. Unless that would be breaking your sabbatical.”
“Hmm. It’s not my account, so we’ll call it a gray area. But I was thinking more about your privacy. Are you sure you want me to have access to your online world?” Damn my morals, because the temptation to peek was way too strong.
Theo shrugged. “I don’t have anything to hide. Or I could just give you my number, if that helps.”
“Your number? Oh! Right, I forget people still do that.”
“Do what?” Theo asked.
“Use a phone as a phone.” There were only a couple of numbers I answered if they called. Though, if it was Theo calling me, I would definitely pick up. “You know what? That’s a great idea, because then we can still be in contact even during my sabbatical. But I’m going to follow me on your account, anyway.”
A smile came to my face as I saw the background of Theo’s phone was the default one it came with. Simple, no personalization. Which seemed very much like him, as little as I knew. I clicked on Instagram , ready to search for myself, follow, and close the app again. I was trying not to snoop, but seeing the red at the top of the app was hard to ignore.
“It looks like you have some notifications.”
Theo sucked on his teeth. “I usually do. Does anything seem important?”
My finger hovered over the messages button, and I glanced over at the man beside me. He was giving me permission, right? This wasn’t invading if he asked.
“It looks like you’ve been tagged in a few stories, and there’s one here that might be an order, possibly.”
The town came into view, and even though it was a Monday, it seemed like there were a lot of cars parked and people walking around. He turned onto a side street. “All right, I’ll have to look at the order later. What are the tags for?”
“I mean, I don’t know if I should click on them because that feels weird, but they all say something about Cherry. Who’s Cherry?”
Theo pulled up next to an open spot by the curb and parked the truck. He turned to face me and had a half smile on his face. “Want to meet her?”
“Um, okay, sure. I guess.” Cherry couldn’t have been a significant other, not with how timid and hesitant Theo was, but my curiosity was definitely piqued.
“We’ll have to walk from here. It’s about a half mile to the main street. Are you going to be okay in your heels?”
Always so thoughtful. I unbuckled and opened the door, looking back at him. “Honey, the things I’ve done in heels would blow your mind.” I gave him a wink and hopped out.
Theo climbed out of the truck and came around to my side. His cheeks had a slight flush to them, and I loved that I put it there. I was about to hand him his phone back, but remembered I still needed to follow my account. I did a search and added me as a friend, using every ounce of strength I had not to check the comments or likes on my last post.
“Did you do your number, too? Or I can give you mine instead, so it gives you control over the situation. You may decide you don’t actually want some random guy in the mountains to have it.”
“Doubtful.” I nudged his shoulder with mine and added my number to his contacts, texting myself to make sure I didn’t lose his information. I imagined if it was left up to him, I would never hear from him again. It wasn’t that I thought he didn’t want to stay in touch, but that he would get too in his head about it and talk himself out of it.
Linking my arm in his, I said, “Okay. Where’s this Cherry person?”
Theo’s half-grin stretched slightly, and we walked side-by-side. He never tried to pull away, even when other people passed by, which made me cozy up to him even more. I liked being on his arm and really liked that it didn’t seem to faze him at all, at least externally. He went into that sort of deep quiet he had.
When we got onto the main street, I took an instant liking to the town. The shops and restaurants had a really cute mountain aesthetic. Rustic, small, but all very welcoming. I was even pleased to see several places that had rainbow flags in their windows. It wasn’t something I’d expected to see in a small town. I already felt safer having Theo at my side, but now I could relax even more.
Of course, it was the first time I’d really been out anywhere since my tour, and I had gotten used to having security and crew around, so it was a little strange simply wandering around on our own. It was funny how quickly everything had changed for me, but it felt freeing to not have to worry about crowds or fans.
I did nothing to change my appearance. In fact, I may have dressed up a little because I liked the way Theo's eyes lingered, so it was possible someone could recognize me, but at least it was less likely I’d get mobbed.
We passed a candle store, a minerals and gems store, a toy shop with vintage toys; I squealed with each one that we walked by. “Oh, my God. This place is adorable. After we meet the mysterious Cherry, I am planning to visit every store. Just fair warning.”
Theo snickered. “Whatever you want, Onyx.”
I leaned against him, close enough to whisper in his ear. “Good answer.”
He visibly shivered, and his feet faltered. His brown eyes flashed brightly for an instant before he straightened and kept going. Oh, yeah! He was going to be so fun to play with. Theo led me to a small plaza where a row of shops stood. In the middle was a bakery with painted windows that announced a grand opening. In front of the bakery was one of the carved bears I'd seen all over town. There were a few animal totems, too, but the bears seemed to be the most popular.
“Onyx, meet Cherry.” Theo waved at the statue of the bear holding a pie.
I slid a glance over at him and he looked like he was suppressing a smile. “The bear?”
“Yup.”
I scanned over the wood carving. The work was admirable, truly impressive. Its fur looked fluffy in a way that made it hard to tell it was all solid wood. On the backside, right above the tail, was a carved ‘ TW .’
Before I could ask another question, the door to the bakery opened and an older woman in an apron appeared. She smiled warmly and was wrapping her arms around Theo, who stiffened in response.
“Theo! I didn't expect to see you so soon.” When she pulled back, she looked at me and the warmness of her expression never faltered. “And with a friend. Hi, dear, I'm Trudy.”
I shook her hand and smiled in return. “I'm Onyx. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
The old woman held my arm and began pulling me inside. “Welcome to my bakery. You know, I do think I've had one of the more successful business launches in town, if I do say so myself, and a lot of it is thanks to your Theo here.”
Theo followed us in and rolled his eyes when they met mine, clearly not comfortable with the praise. It was funny how he was growing more comfortable with me, but he still seemed to retreat inside himself around someone else. Even someone who clearly admired him.
“So what did my Theo do?” My Theo . Damn, why did that sound so good?
“Why, Cherry, of course! Everyone's been buzzing about her. You really outdid yourself with that one, Theo.” The woman chattered as she led me toward the display counter. It smelled incredible in here. Apple, cinnamon, chocolate. Heaven.
“Cherry?” TW... Theo Wilkins ! I spun around to face him. “You made her?”
He smirked and gave a slight nod.
“Holy shit, Theo! That bear is so detailed, it's gorgeous.” I knew he whittled, but I had no idea he did anything so elaborate.
“Humble, that one,” Trudy said. “He's made several around town. Your Theo is quite popular with the locals.”
My mouth fell open, and Theo simply shrugged. I pointed at his chest. “You are going to take me on a tour. I want to see them all.”
Trudy clapped her hands. “Oh, that sounds lovely, but I think you'll need a little snack before you go. Whatever you want, it's on the house. You should absolutely take a pie home for dessert later, too.”
Home . Theo's cabin already felt homey, and given more time, I could easily see it being home . But we didn't have more time. I tried not to let the sour thought show on my face. “That's very kind of you.”
“Oh, it's the least I can do.” She smiled and walked behind the counter.
“Thank you, Trudy,” Theo spoke at last.
After seeing him with someone he knew, I felt a funny sort of pride that I'd managed to get him to come out of his shell more than he seemed to with others.
We ordered vanilla bean scones and hot cocoa, and Trudy boxed up a mixed berry pie for us, which she said she would hold for us until we were done shopping.
Once we were outside, I gave Theo a slight nudge. “Okay, Mr. Bear Carver Man, were you even going to tell me you made Cherry?”
He gave me a slight smirk. “Eventually.”
“So you were just going to stand there and let me look like a fool?” I asked in a teasing tone.
“I wasn’t trying to make you look like a fool. I was... curious to see what you thought without wanting to influence your opinion.”
After taking a sip of cocoa, I leaned closer to him. “I think it's remarkable. I'm very impressed.”
Theo's expression softened, with a look of awe behind his eyes. A much different reaction than he'd had to Trudy's praise. “Thank you. I worked really hard on it.”
“That's easy to see. Now, as promised, I want to see the rest.”
“Okay.” He nodded his head toward the sidewalk.
We spent the next hour walking around town while he showed me every statue he had been commissioned for. Theo had made over half of the statues in the city. Some were older and had been made by a previous resident who passed away.
“How did you learn to do all of this? I mean, I doubt just any carpenter could knock out such an intricate carving.”
“I taught myself. After... Myra, I needed projects that demanded enough attention that they kept me from thinking about everything.”
The way he hesitated at saying her name made my heart ache for him. I knew talking about her last night had been really hard for him, but I hoped, with time, it would get easier.
I reached down and grabbed his hand, threading our fingers together, and I offered him an understanding smile.
“You've managed to turn it into something beautiful. I bet Myra would have loved your bears.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Theo’s fingers tightened around mine and he whispered, “Thank you.”
I allowed a moment of silence as we stood, holding hands, before brightening my voice. “Okay, now that the tour is done, it's time to get serious. Get those muscles ready because I see shopping bags in your future.”
Theo flexed, testing the limits of his shirt as it stretched around his biceps. “Ready.”
A loud laugh popped out of me at his surprisingly playful response. I patted his chest. “Good man.”
He didn't blink or complain when we retraced our steps to the truck, hitting every little shop along the way. And even though I'd been teasing and hadn’t really expected him to, Theo carried all my bags for me. A true gentleman.
With my haul loaded in the back of his truck, and the pie on the seat between us, it was time to face the inevitable. Time to find me a rental. I may have subconsciously—or fully consciously—been avoiding it, wanting to make the day last as long as it could.
Theo said there were three rental agencies in town, so we started with the one that was the furthest from Theo's house, so we could work our way back. Within minutes of walking through the door, we were walking out again. The realtor practically howled with laughter at the idea of finding a last-minute rental.
My hopes of getting a place were dashed even more after the second one, while more tactful, had essentially said the same thing. The day had been so perfect so far, but now the prospect of having to return home put a huge damper on it.
Theo patted my thigh as we pulled up to the last place. “I'm sure we can figure something out.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. I sure hope so.”
As I was about to climb out of the truck, Theo shouted, “Wait!”
I turned back to face him. “Yes?”
He scrubbed a hand over his beard. An action I was coming to understand as him trying to work his way up to something. “I, uh, have an idea.”
My brow arched. “Yeah? What's your idea?”
Theo took off his beanie, scruffed the top of his head, and put his beanie back. He was really building something up. “You could stay.”
A burst of hope fluttered in my chest, but I needed to be sure I understood what he was saying before I got carried away. “Stay?”
“With me. If we go in there and they don't have any rentals, you... could stay with me.”
I wanted to scream, ‘ Yes ’ but I forced myself to keep some composure. “Are you sure? That's a lot to ask of you.”
His eyes roamed over me for a moment and he gave a quick nod. “I'm sure.”
Hearing his confirmation, I couldn't hold back my wide smile, and I threw myself across the cab of the truck to hug him. “Oh my God! Thank you, Theo! I can't tell you what that means to me.”
His arms slid around my back and his nose nuzzled in my hair. I was seconds away from kissing the man, but restraint was my word of the day, and I slowly pulled away from him.
Theo cleared his throat. “Okay. We have a plan B. So no matter what happens, you don't have to go home until you're ready.”
“Okay,” I agreed, feeling so much lighter than I had only minutes ago. I almost wanted to skip the final place completely, but that wouldn't be right. Theo had already been beyond generous, and I didn’t want to take advantage. I had to at least try.
A strange, anxious energy flowed between us as we walked into the realtor's shop. Maybe it was just me. Theo squeezed my hand tight. Or... maybe it wasn't.
“Hi there, folks. What brings you in today?” The man stood, assessing us. He glanced at our entwined hands and grinned. “Looking to book a honeymoon stay, perhaps?”
Theo stiffened at my side, but didn't pull away. I slid my hand out of his and greeted the man. “Not quite yet. I am, however, looking for any immediate, long-term rentals you might have. Unfortunately, I found myself on the receiving end of a scam, which has cut my stay much shorter than I planned.”
He quirked his lips to the side. “That's a shame. I'm sorry that happened. If it makes you feel better, it's not the first time I've heard that story.”
Knowing other people had experienced the same situation? Sure, it helped to know I wasn't alone, but I hated to think of other people giving up their hard-earned money for nothing. “No, I'm not sure it does.”
“Yeah. I get that. Well... what kind of time frame are you looking at? How long term?” The realtor sat behind his computer and began typing.
“Now? I had originally planned to stay the full month, but I'm flexible.”
He tsked and hit a few buttons. “Well... I hate to tell you this, but it's a busy time of year. Folks are anticipating snow, and Valentine's is coming up. I don't see any long-term openings with every weekend booked solid. The best I got is mid-week, Monday through Thursday.”
I let out a sigh. “That's pretty much what the other guys said, too. Thank you for your time.”
“I'm really sorry I couldn’t help you more, especially considering the circumstances. Here, take my card. Next time you are looking to book a stay, call me, and I'll set you up with a beautiful cabin and a money-back guarantee. Oh, and let me know when you're ready for that honeymoon and we'll find something extra special.” He gave me a wink and handed me his card.
A honeymoon with a man I barely knew? Considering the man was Theo, it strangely didn't sound like such a farfetched idea. “Thank you. I'll definitely hold on to this.”
When we climbed into the truck, we sat in silence for a moment. I tried not to look too happy about the strike-out, or what it meant. Did Theo really mean his offer, or was he simply being polite?
Theo scrubbed his hand over his beard. “So, uh, plan B, then?”
“Plan B, it is.” My lips twitched, but I fought to keep them under control. “I can pay you, Theo. I was going to have to pay for a place, anyway.”
He turned in his seat to face me with a serious expression. “I don’t want your money, Onyx.”
“Fine. But at least let me buy groceries. With two of us there, we'll go through your food a lot more quickly.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Okay. But can we worry about that another day? I think I've hit my people limit for the day.”
He really had put up with a lot for me today, especially for someone who spent most of his time alone. “It can wait. Take me home, Theo.”
He started the truck, but I didn't miss the way his lip tugged up on the side. He was peopled out, but still seemed happy I was coming home with him, and damn, did that make my heart flutter.
We drove up the long, narrow path that led to his isolated cabin, and an eagerness to return to it fluttered inside me.
Theo sucked on his teeth and said, “I know it's not exactly what you were hoping for, having a place to yourself, but I spend most of my time working in the barn, anyway. So, I hope you'll still feel like you have some space for yourself.”
“I don't mind your company, Theo, so don't try to stay out of your house on account of me, okay? It'll be fine.” In fact, he might even bring me inspiration.
“I'll try. And, uh... we can figure out different sleeping arrangements.”
I reached across and slid my hand over his thigh, loving the hitch in his breath that came with my touch. “I quite like the sleeping arrangements, thank you very much.”
I watched as Theo's Adam's apple bobbed. “If... you're sure.”
“Oh, I am very sure.” I slid my hand a little higher, stopping mere inches away from his groin.
“Okay,” he rasped out. His chest stopped moving, and it seemed he was holding his breath.
Victory ! I shouted in triumph in my head. I gave his leg a light squeeze as he parked in front of the cabin and then withdrew my hand from him. Theo sucked in air, like he’d been underwater, and finally broke the surface. He was so reactive, making teasing him that much more delicious.
While I was definitely curious to see how far he would let me push things, more than anything, I was grateful. There wasn’t a single reason in the world why he should let a random person stay with him in his own home, especially when he valued his space so much, but I was very thankful he’d decided to take a chance on me.
We got out of the truck and Theo began unhooking the net he secured to hold my shopping bags in place. One by one, he handed bags to me. Seeing them now, I felt a little embarrassed at how wild I’d gone. “I guess I overdid it a little.”
“Did you enjoy yourself, though?”
“I did. It was such a wonderful day, and I really loved the town. The people are very nice, and I found so many fun treasures.”
“Then there’s nothing to regret,” he said it in a matter-of-fact way.
“I mean, I don’t really regret supporting local businesses, and mom and pop shops, but I didn’t really think about what I would do with everything. Of course, I also didn’t know I would be coming back here and taking over your home.”
He helped me carry the last of the bags inside and set them down on the kitchen table. I put mine there to join the others and stood back with my hands on my hips. “I can box it all up and ship it home, or I could order another suitcase to pack it in. Oh, shit! My luggage! I’m not sure what to do with all of it.”
At least I didn’t have to re-pack and move everything to a new place tonight, because I really was dreading that. Only now I was staying and would need to figure out a better way to deal with it all.
Theo did that deep-thinking beard scruff thing. Very deep-thinking. His eyes slid to the door that had been closed since I’d arrived. A second bedroom, I assumed, but since he never opened it, I hadn’t dared take a peek, despite the curiosity burning through me. “I... might have a solution for you.”
A determined look replaced the thoughtful one, and he marched toward the closed door with confidence. My heart raced and a million thoughts filled my head with what might be behind the mysterious door. With his hand on the doorknob, he took a deep breath and turned.
Theo didn’t walk into the room, instead pushing the door open and giving me room to step around him. It was fairly empty except for a dresser that seemed to match the one in his bedroom, and a standing mirror coated in dust. That was it. Even the small closet was empty. I think I understood what I was looking at, and it made my heart squeeze tight.
After surveying the space, I walked back to Theo, stopping right in front of him. His eyes were cast down, but I tilted his head up to meet his gaze.
“Were these things meant to be for Myra?” His house was clearly designed for two people to be able to relax comfortably, but his bedroom felt different. Theo had enough for one person, which would have been fine, as he was one person , but it felt unbalanced somehow. Odd spaces where there should be something filling them.
“Yes. I couldn’t sleep staring at an empty dresser or the mirror I bought for her, so I stowed them away in here.”
I placed my hand on his chest. “Oh, Theo. I’m sorry. You don’t have to do this for me. I can’t ask that of you.”
His hand came up to cover mine and hold it in place. “You didn’t ask. I offered.”
I shook my head, feeling emotion climb up my throat. “It’s too much. I can’t accept.”
Theo gave me a somber smile. “Please do. It’s sat here for so long, like a ghost in a corner, but I think it would actually help to see them being used. The whole room is yours to use however you see fit. It’s not much, but it is space. Plenty of room for all your things.”
I looked back at the room, and no, it wouldn’t function as much else but a giant closet, and that actually sounded... pretty nice. “Are you really sure? I can imagine how much this means to you. Well, I can’t, I suppose, but I know it’s big. I promise I won’t be offended at all if you change your mind. I don’t want to overstep or take advantage of your generosity.”
Theo stared at the mirror for a moment, both of us reflecting in it from across the room. His eyes cleared and the determination that had been there moments before returned. “I’m sure, Onyx. It would make me happy to do this for you. And, well... you light up a room that’s been dark too long.”
My heart swelled, knowing it was a big moment for him, but it felt big for me, too. For a man of few words, he sure knew how to use the ones he chose well. I stepped closer to him. With me wearing heels, he had to lift his chin a little to maintain eye contact. “Theo, I’m going to kiss you now.”
He swallowed audibly, but didn’t look away. “You are?”
“Yes. Unless you tell me not to.” I paused for a moment to give him time to do just that, but his eyes dropped to my lips, and he swallowed again. He gave the barest hint of a nod, which was probably all I would get out of him, but that was enough. Closing the space between us, I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and felt him gasp in surprise. I wanted a lot more, but I hovered there, waiting to see what he would do or how he would react. “Are you okay, Theo?”
His eyes were closed tight, but he shook his head, making me worry I’d gone too far, especially in such a fragile moment. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. “No. I take it back.”
Panic crawled at my chest, and I took a step away from him. “Take what back, exactly?”
His eyes opened then, and where I expected to see the mist of tears building, I saw heat instead. “My name. Call me by my full name.”
The panic that I’d managed to end things just as they were starting was released and a smile stretched my lips. “Can I kiss you again, Theodore ?” I put extra emphasis on the syllables, stretching his name out.
“Fuck, yes!” The two words came out in a bark, and before he could apologize for the tone, I threw myself forward, smashing my lips against his. He froze for a moment, and then his arms were around my back, and he turned us until my back was pressed against the wall, and he leaned into me. The move surprised me, but holy hell, was it hot. Soon, he was the one whose mouth explored mine, his tongue sweeping over my lips, begging for me to open for him. I was all too happy to let him in.
The kiss was a ravenous one, so full of need, of desperation, years in the making. Perhaps not for me, but I’d never been kissed as deeply or hungrily. It was a good thing his body was braced against mine, because my knees were like jelly with how intense and thorough the kiss was. Our tongues danced over each other’s, and our mouths were pressed so tightly together, we shared oxygen. Theo’s facial hair was scraping my cheeks with a wicked burn that made my whole body burst into flames. My hands were gripped in the back of Theo’s shirt, and it was all I could do to hold on. Theo was a man who’d been away at war, and I, the person who had been waiting for his return. Welcome home, soldier.
When Theo rolled his hips into me, brushing his hard bulge against mine, a rumble sounded in the back of his throat, and a gasp slipped from me. It was so fucking hot, I probably would have let him nail me into the wall right then and there, but he wasn’t thinking clearly, he was too lost to his hunger, and I didn’t want him to do anything he wasn’t mentally ready for, even if his body was screaming for it.
I moved my hands from around his back and slid them between us, pushing slightly on his chest. I mumbled against his mouth, “Theo. Theodore.”
He went completely still, pulling his lips from mine, and we both gulped in a breath. I could feel his body tense, so I rushed to put a halt to whatever he was about to say. “I’m okay. We’re okay. I have no regrets. Let’s just take a breath.”
Theo rested his head on mine. “I’m sorry, I got carried away.”
“And I enjoyed every second of it, so don’t be sorry.” He made a move to step away, but I clung to him. “Nope, you’re not going anywhere. At least not yet, or you’ll leave me in a heap on the floor.”
He leaned back enough to be able to meet my eye. “You’re okay, though?”
I pecked a quick kiss on his lips that were marked by my lipstick. He looked like a sexy mess right now. “More than. That was so fucking hot. But the bigger question... are you okay?”
Theo’s lust-drunk eyes were beginning to clear. “I’m... not sure. Can’t think.”
“Not thinking isn’t such a bad thing, sometimes.” I slid my hand down until I could rub over the hard bulge in his jeans. Theo’s eyes closed and his head fell back. I pushed my hips toward his, rubbing our dicks together.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he rasped through a thick voice.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked. Sure, I’d been the one who initially stopped the hottest make-out session since the beginning of time, but I wanted him to feel how much it had affected me, and maybe keep him present for just a moment longer. Besides, he was practically shaking with need.
“I don’t know.” Theo rested his head in the crook of my neck as I both stroked over his cock and rubbed it with mine. The thin material of my leggings didn’t do anything to conceal my hardness, and I felt every movement against him, but right now it wasn't about me.
His facial hair scraped against the side of my throat and I couldn’t stop the moan that came out of me. He turned slightly to press his lips to the same spot.
I gripped him tighter, and he thrust into my hand. When I reached down with my other hand to undo the button on his jeans, he stiffened. “Wait.”
Immediately, moving my hands to his sides, I said softly, “Okay. Whatever you need, Theo.”
Theo pushed away from me and scruffed a hand over his face. When he looked at me, undoubtedly seeing my kiss-swollen lips and beard-burn, his eyes brightened. “That was... I... don’t have words.”
“Hotter than the surface of the sun?” I supplied.
His head bobbed slowly. “Yeah. I just... I’m not sure.”
“It’s okay, Theo. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
He gave me a crooked smile. “As the older of us, I feel like I should be the one saying that.”
“Well, you can just call me a Scout of America , because I am ready for anything, honey.” I winked at him, trying to lighten the weight of the situation.
His stance relaxed and he let out a heavy breath as his eyes roamed over me, lingering on my cock, which throbbed under his attention. With great effort, he brought his eyes back up and gave me a soft smile. “It’s not a no, Onyx. Please know that.”
I bobbed my head. “I know.” I really did. I’d been with men who hit the doubt or questioning phase of being intimate with a nonbinary partner, but that wasn’t what I saw or felt from Theo. His hesitation came from a much deeper place, and I respected it. I was actually surprised at how far he let things go.
“I need to, uh, cool off for a bit. Please make yourself at home, I really mean that.”
“Go, do whatever you need to do, Theodore.”
At hearing his full name, his eyes lit up once more. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine in a kiss so tender it made my heart explode into a million pieces. A million notes. Symphonies could be composed from that single moment. “Thank you, Onyx. I’ll see you in bed.”