14. Chapter 14
Onyx
“ G ood morning, Captain.” I kissed Theo’s chest and stretched.
“Captain?” He rubbed his eyes and squinted at me. “Is that a thing?”
“It is now, my pirate lover.”
Theo smiled sleepily, looking especially handsome. “Argh!”
I let out a laugh and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You are too sexy to leave, but I gotta get up.”
“Mmm. Yeah, I probably should, too. Coffee?”
“Absolutely.”
I went to the bathroom and took a piss, but when I was washing my hands, I realized what a mess my hair was after sleeping on it while it was damp and unbrushed. It had been worth it, though. I could still feel Theo’s talented tongue all over me. Yumm .
After brushing my teeth, I found my leave-in conditioner and worked it through my hair. It had been a huge help on tour, when I didn’t always have time while traveling. A few minutes later, I brushed all the tangles out and pulled it back in a ponytail. Not ready to get dressed just yet, I walked naked to my room-closet and pulled out a satin robe and put it on, tying it around my waist. The seams of the robe dipped low to my belly, but I had just enough cleavage that it kept the material in place, concealing my nips as long as I was careful.
Sauntering into the kitchen, I found Theo wearing pajama pants, stirring milk into a mug of coffee. He turned to hand it to me and his jaw went slack in that very unsubtle way of his. I found his obvious interest quite flattering and endearing.
“Wow.”
I walked toward him and took the coffee from his hands, taking a sip. “You know... I think I could get used to hearing that reaction.”
Theo pulled me close, jostling my robe enough that it opened wider. He kissed me hard. “Well, I think I could get used to all of your many surprising looks. Though I might be partial to this one.”
“So... nearly naked?”
He shrugged, and his cheeks pinked. “It’s a good look.”
I chuckled and slapped his chest. “So, what’s your plan for the day?”
Theo scrubbed over his beard. “Uh, well, I have a couple of commissions I need to work on.”
I might have felt a smidge of disappointment, but it wasn’t like we wouldn’t have time to do more later, and with the way Theo was looking at me, it was clear he wanted more as well.
“Good. Go play with your wood, as long as I get to play with your wood later.” I slid my free hand down the front of his pants, cupping him.
He moaned under my touch. “Mmm, yeah, good plan. You sure you don't mind, though?”
Moving my hand away, I smiled. “It's fine, really. I need to try to get some work done, too. And you know what? I’m feeling rather inspired after last night.”
Theo cleared his throat and gave me his sexy, crooked smile. “Yeah?”
“Yup. I’m thinking... sea shanties.”
He barked out a loud laugh. “You are fantastic, Onyx.”
“As are you, oh captain, my captain.” I brushed my lips against his and slid past him to get some bread to pop into the toaster.
We ate breakfast together, and then he kissed me, changed, and disappeared into the barn. I settled in with my notebook, keyboard, and laptop, and spent the day translating what I'd already written into sheet music on my computer. It was a very productive day. While a day in bed with a sexy mountain man would have been nice, it was the kind of day I needed, what I came up here for.
Theo came in when it was time to eat. We took turns fixing food, talking, and simply enjoying each other's company. It was the best of both worlds. Time alone to focus on work and having someone there to relax with when we were both ready for a break. Ending the day with strong arms wrapped around me after mutual orgasms was a bonus, too.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Time apart, each working on our own thing, meals together, conversation or sometimes comfortable quiet, and fooling around in bed, or the shower, or the couch, or... elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about his rimming me on the kitchen table. The man was really adept with his tongue. So far, we stuck to hands and mouths, though I had pulled out the lube I'd packed for some added fun. I tucked a few condoms into the bedside table, just in case, but he wasn't quite ready, and that was okay because we still managed to have plenty of fun.
Except it wasn’t just fun with him. It was so much more. Theo poured his whole self into everything, including me, and he made me feel... cherished. I'd never been with anyone who made me feel the way he did. It was probably strange to feel this intense connection with him in such a short time, but I didn't typically go right to living with someone and spending so much time together, especially without the distraction of TV or social media. It was a relationship being built without the obstruction of the outside world, just the two of us, a little bubble, one I was perfectly content to be in.
We fell into a really comfortable routine over the next couple of weeks. It felt real. This didn't feel like a vacation; it felt like a life I could step into. The cabin was feeling more like home than my actual apartment did. Theo didn't feel like a temporary fling, either. He was the kind of person I could see myself settling down with.
The idea of it was taking up more and more space in my head and in my heart. Even more so after I returned to Heartcraft Market with Theo. I could have sworn there was a force at work in the market. A force of love. Maybe it was because it was springtime, which naturally felt like a time of hope and renewal, but it sure seemed like everywhere I looked, we were surrounded by happy couples. Newlyweds, life partners, boyfriends. There was a happy, buzzing undercurrent I felt coursing through me.
Of course, it didn't help that we were asked by many about future plans or marriage and poor Theo didn't even have his acrylic walls to hide behind, seeing as he was set up in his regular booth.
I was happy to be his human shield, though, talking with folks when it was clearly too much for him. He was so reserved with others, and yet, so open with me. There was a chance it would always be like this for him, but I didn't mind. It only added to his charm and how fortunate I felt that I got to see this whole other side of him that no one else did.
The vibe of the market truly infected me. By the time we were packing up the rest of Theo’s creations into his trailer, I was completely certain of one thing. I was in love with Theodore Wilkins. It had been building steadily, but now having, talked to so many couples in love and seeing the way they looked at each other, I knew what I felt for Theo was far bigger than simple like . Only... what did it mean? What could it look like for us? Would Theo be in a position where he would want to be in a committed relationship again?
We picked up food and ate during the drive, so when we got home, we relaxed on the couch together. Theo was much more exhausted mentally this time from having to interact with people than he had been physically last time after using chainsaws. He'd been quiet the entire ride home, decompressing, no doubt.
I leaned against him and tucked my feet under me. Theo gave me one of those bubblegum pop forehead kisses that made my heart turn to goo. There was no doubt. It wasn't mere infatuation or even lust, though I lusted for him plenty—the man was ruggedly handsome and insanely hot. But I didn't only want his body, I wanted his heart, too, or at least as much of it as was available.
“Theo?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think you would ever consider getting married again?” I'd always dreamed of getting married one day. I thought of it, even as a child. Maybe it was years spent watching ‘ Say Yes to the Dress ’ with my mom as a kid, or the sappy Hallmark movies we loved, but I really wanted to have I-do 's in my future.
He stiffened for a moment before pulling me closer to his side. Silence hung between us, the kind I'd come to recognize as him getting lost in thought. The question was out there, and as much as he loved it when I nudged him sexually, this wasn't an area I could push him. So we sat, cozied together while it was suspended between us. Sat for so long, I almost started wondering if I had actually asked it.
“A year ago, I would have had a very definite answer. I was too stuck in the past to see a way forward. No, I don't think I would have imagined getting married again.”
I felt my stomach sink, glad I hadn't professed my love, if it couldn't go anywhere. “Oh.”
Theo played with the end of his beard. “Shit, even a month ago, the answer would have been the same. Now... I'm not so sure.”
My sinking stomach began fluttering with hope. I sat on my knees and faced him. “Oh?”
Theo reached up and cupped my face, his thumb lightly brushing my cheek. All the thoughts he'd been thinking now looking like they were ready to burst free. “You have brought so much light into my life, Onyx. A flashlight, guiding me out of the darkness I'd been trapped in. I have smiled and laughed more in the last few weeks than I have in five years. It's not just that; it's your presence, too. I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to share a home with someone, to share a bed, to have their things sprinkled around the house as daily reminders of the life being lived there. So... the answer isn't no.”
Overwhelmed by his words and the feelings bubbling up in me, I climbed onto his lap, and pressed my mouth to his, wanting to pass those bubbles of joy into him. Theo's arms enfolded me, holding me tight against him. I deepened the kiss as if I could crawl inside of him. A rumble sounded in the back of his throat that I felt to my toes.
Before we got too carried away, I broke the kiss. Resting my forehead on his, I played the words in my mind, testing them out, and they felt right. So right.
“I want to tell you something and I need you to know I don't want you to feel pressured to return the sentiment, but I feel like I'll explode if I don't say it.”
Theo's brows pinched and I could see the overthinking about to happen, so I blurted it out before he could go into a panic. “I love you, Theo. Truly, like, in love with you. Please don't say it back if you don't mean it. It's okay if you don't. I just needed you to know.”
“Wait. What? Can you, uh, say that again?”
I grabbed his face in both hands, holding his attention. “I love you, Theodore.”
One side of his mouth tugged up as his eyes roamed over my face. “You do?” The words came out quietly, laced with awe.
“I really do. You make me feel so special and beautiful. You're incredibly thoughtful and sweet, and I love simply being around you. Theo, you have this calm about you and I want to bathe in it, like a hot spring, soothing my body and my soul.”
Theo shut his eyes tight, and for a moment I wondered if it was too much, if I had taken it too far. When he opened his eyes, they were misty, and my heart clenched. “I want, uh, I... need...”
“What? What do you need? Anything, and I'll do it.” Just don't tell me to leave , I thought. Anything but that.
Theo scruffed his hand over his beard. “Fuck, I want you, Onyx. I need to be inside you. Can we... do that?”
A wide grin stretched across my face, as I internally screamed with glee. “Hell, yes, we can. Why don’t you use those big muscles of yours and carry me to bed?”
Heat burned in his eyes and his crooked smile grew bigger. “Yes, Mx.”
His hands slid under my ass, and I locked my arms around his neck. I knew my height and our position would make it a challenge, but I had faith in him, and his eyes blazed with determination. With a scooch to the edge, he pushed himself to standing, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Theo carried me to the bedroom easily, just as I'd fantasized since I first met him. Once he set me down, we were in a frenzy of kissing and peeling clothes; both of us naked at record speed. The same kind of urgency and hunger from the first time we’d kissed was exploding out of both of us.
His big, calloused hands ran down my side, making me shiver with anticipation. I kissed him hard and ground my hips against him, eliciting a sharp intake from him. A sound I would never get tired of. Theo turned me around until my back was to his chest, and his hard cock pressed against my ass. His arms folded around me and he cupped my breasts, making a zing of pleasure roll through me.
“Fuck, that feels good,” I mumbled as he closed his mouth over my neck. Reaching between us, I ran my hands up his thighs and gripped them right beneath his groin, feeling his muscles tensing under my touch. Mmm, I was dying to see what those muscles could do. I immensely enjoyed all the ways we’d been having sex and would have been content with that for as long as he needed, but now I was beyond eager to feel him inside me.
“How do you, uh, how should we do this?”
Oh, this sweet man. My Theodorable man. He’d been unsure the first time he went down on me, but he’d been a quick study and found his confidence. I liked to think it would be the same for penetrative sex, too, but in the meantime, I was happy to take charge for him.
“You just lay down and let me take care of everything.”
Theo nipped my ear lobe. “Not everything.”
I found myself grinning as he moved around me, threw the cover of the bed back, and laid down. His thick, hard cock was standing tall, just waiting for me to sit on it. I licked my lips at the sight. “Damn, Theo!”
“Agreed.” His eyes roamed over me, locking onto my own erection, and making my body ignite beneath his stare.
Opening the drawer of the bedside table, I pulled out lube and a condom. Theo watched my every move with a hunger in his eyes. If he kept looking at me like that, I might not last very long.
I straddled his lap and leaned down, kissing him deeply. Theo grabbed my ass and slid me over his cock, making him groan, and I swallowed the sound as if it had come from me. We could take things long and slow another time, but right then, I could feel his need and his desire to push forward and not overthink it.
“Do you want me to get myself ready, or do you want to do it?” I asked him.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he growled, making me laugh. He might not always be confident at the start, but once he locked onto an idea, he went all in. I loved that about him.
“Okay, Captain. Grab the lube and start with one finger at a time.” I sat up, hovering over him to give him room to work. It wasn’t his first time fingering me, but it was the first time with the intention of stretching me for him.
He poured some lube on his hand, coating his fingers, and then he reached between my legs and circled around my hole. The cool slickness of it made me gasp, but before I could think about it, he was pushing in with one finger. “ Ngh ! Yes, keep going.”
Theo’s finger probed deeper, gently moving in and out. My hands were on his chest, bracing myself on his hard pecs. He pulled out, and a whimper escaped me, needing more. Luckily, he didn’t make me wait, and pushed back in, adding a second finger. It had been way too long, so I was tight, and I felt the stretch.
“Are you okay?” Theo asked.
“Yes, don’t stop. It stings, but in a good way, I swear. You just need to work me a little more.”
Theo grinned and began scissoring his fingers, stretching me, and then he pumped harder, deeper, and I moaned loudly when he hit my prostate. “Oh? Like that?” And he did it again with more intention.
“Ahh, yeah, yes, fuck!” Each slide across that spot had the tension building in me and I was desperate to move, to feel him deeper inside me.
He added a third finger, making me feel full and needy all at the same time. “You, Theo, I need you. Please.”
I cried out when he carefully slid his fingers from me, leaving me empty. Theo winced. “Sorry.”
“No. Don’t be sorry. I’m fine, but I need you inside me.” My voice cracked with desperation, but I was too hungry to care.
I handed the condom to Theo, and he stared at it with wonder, huffing a small laugh. “You know, it’s probably been almost twenty years since I’ve put one of these on.”
“Then, allow me.” I winked and took it back, ripping the package open. I held his shaft in one hand and placed the condom over his head with the other. Theo watched what I was doing intently, and he let out a groan as I rolled it down his cock.
“Okay?” I asked.
“ Mmm . Yes. Great. But it’s not the only thing I want on my cock.”
I smirked and bent down and kissed him, sucking on his tongue, while I ground against him. He made such wicked sounds, and they made my dick jump. “Are you ready, then?”
Theo’s expression grew serious, and he reached up and cupped my face, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “I’m ready, Onyx. Truly ready.”
Those words carried so much more weight than simply sex. He was telling me something else, something big, and I felt it explode in my chest. I gave him one more gentle kiss. “I love you, Theo.”
His answer was a beaming smile, and his eyes closed with delight. I sat up, held his cock in place, and slowly lowered myself onto him.
“Oh, fuck!” We both exclaimed as my body stretched to accommodate him. Theo held my ass cheeks apart, allowing me to get even deeper. Once he bottomed out, I sat still for a moment as we both gasped.
“Holy shit, Onyx, you feel so hot and tight around me.” He kneaded my ass, grabbing and squeezing, urging me to move.
So I did. I lifted myself up and settled back down, inhaling sharply at how full I felt. “Theo, you feel amazing.”
Another slow upward movement, bringing him almost to the tip before sliding back down. “Faster, please, I can’t take it,” Theo cried out, his voice so thick and it was erotic as hell.
“Grab my tits.”
Theo moved his hands from my ass and cupped my breasts, and I leaned back, bracing my hands on his upper thighs. My back arched, and I could feel him so deep inside me. With his palms on my breasts, and pinching my nipples, I began moving.
I bounced up and down, and Theo met me, thrusting his hips upward, setting my insides on fire with each movement. “Yes, Theo. God, it feels so good. Don’t stop!”
Theo grunted and moaned as I bounced on him, his eyes glued to my cock as it slapped against his belly. He slid one hand down from my chest and wrapped his fingers around me. When he began stroking me, the pressure from within and the pressure on my cock was nearly overwhelming in the best way.
“Fuck, yes! I’m so... close, Theo.” I let my head fall back and closed my eyes, focusing on the sensations all firing at once. He slid his hand up and down my shaft, gripping tighter, and I felt the ball of tension explode and I came with a shout, spurts shooting out of me, covering his hand and stomach.
My hole clenched around him from my orgasm, and Theo shouted, “Oh, fuck, holy fuck!” He thrust deep into me and grunted loudly. I braced myself on his thighs, feeling so incredibly full as I panted and caught my breath, wishing I could feel him fill me.
Theo breathed heavily and squeezed my hips, holding me in place. “Hold on. If you can, just let me stay right here for a minute.”
“Whatever you need, honey. I’m not going to complain about keeping your cock warm.” My breathing was still coming rapidly, and I was feeling over-sensitive, and almost uncomfortable, but I would be happy to stay here as long as he needed me to. Especially with the sated look on his face. Sated and in awe.
He smiled up at me, looking completely blissed out. “You’re incredible, Onyx. That was...”
“Shit, wow?” I offered.
“Yeah, I think that sums it up.” He laughed, and I felt him softening inside me. Theo reached between us and held the condom in place as he slid out of me. I didn’t want to move, but I reluctantly slid my leg over and fell on the bed beside him.
“I’ll be right back.” He got up and discarded the condom, and I could hear him washing his hands in the bathroom before bringing a washcloth to help clean me up. Once he was done, he laid back down, and pulled me over, until I was resting on top of him, my legs tangled with his and my head in the crook of his neck.
Theo’s arms wrapped around me, holding me in place. I melted into him, happy to have my naked body on his. Stretched, sore, in the most delicious way, and perfectly satisfied.
He let out a contented sigh. “Are you okay?”
“ Mm-hmm. ” It was about all I could muster, as I felt myself floating in euphoria. “You?”
“Yes. You were amazing, truly. It... uh, it really meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me, Onyx.”
I smiled against his skin, pressed a light kiss, and whispered. “Me too. I love you, Theodore.”
He went still, that deep-thinking stillness. His hold on me didn’t loosen. In fact, it tightened, squeezing me to him as close as he could. I felt a drop hit my cheek. Was he crying? My heart clenched at the thought. But I could feel him processing through something, and I didn’t want to interrupt it, so I simply clung to him and allowed him whatever time he needed.
Minutes passed as we held each other. Theo’s hand started rubbing light circles on my back, and I knew he was returning to the present.
He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “The words... are hard for me.”
I pushed up then so I could look at him and wiped a stray tear away. “It’s okay, Theo.”
“No, let me say this, please.”
I brushed a soft kiss against his lips. “Okay.”
“The words are hard for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel them, and I don’t mean them, because I do, Onyx. I do. Do you hear me?”
I felt my own eyes growing misty, feeling the enormity of the implication. He loved me, even if he couldn’t say it yet. I knew this wasn’t one-sided, but it meant everything to hear the wordless declaration.
“I hear you, Theo.” I leaned down and kissed him, sending him all the words I had. Words that had been written in a notebook, words that had been sung in a song, words that I’d kept to myself, and words that lived in my heart. I would give them all to him until he could find his own.