31. Jess
Connor
Tell me something you want your boyfriend to do for you on his last week of sabbatical.
Jess:
Well you spent so much time cleaning up over here, I think maybe it’s time you help me make it dirty again.
Connor:
Dammit, Jess, I’m trying to be romantic here and you’re making it hard.
DIFFICULT. I MEANT DIFFICULT.
Jess:
You have no idea how much I appreciate the romance, but you have to understand, it’s been a very long time since I’ve felt…desired. So that alone is really awesome for me.
Connor:
That’s a crime, by the way. Fine, you made it hard, too. Like I’m going to have to get new work pants at this rate.
Jess:
But what are you going to do with your old pants? Am I going to have to help you reorganize your closet?
*Jessica Rabbit GIF*
Connor:
You can’t talk about sex and closet organization in the same text conversation, that’s cheating. I have to go take a cold shower now.
Jess:
*blowing kiss GIF*
See you tomorrow?
Connor:
If not sooner, yeah.
Ishould be exhausted, walking in the front door of Scott and Alyssa’s house less than eight hours after ringing in the new year with my sexy boyfriend (I do love saying that…). The skies are overcast, and the air is frosty…snow is looming.
But none of that matters because I had sex last night. And I get to have sex again tomorrow.
Of course, all thoughts of sex immediately vacate my brain when I take in the state of my brother and sister-in-law’s living room. Someone moved the furniture and scattered pillows and blankets everywhere. I hear children giggling and spot movement under one of the sheets by the couch.
“Oh man, what a mess!” I exclaim dramatically. “I bet those crazy girls did this, I better find them before their mommy does!”
More giggling with some ssh-ing to follow.
I step carefully around the linen maze and tip toe towards their hiding spot. “I wonder where they could be? I hope they’re not?—”
“BOOOOO!” Arielle yells, trying to fight her way through the sheet and tripping over her own feet.
“Ari, no! You weren’t supposed to do dat!” Gemma scolds.
I swoop my youngest niece into my arms. “You scared me!” I tell her before looking at Gemma. Next to her is a little boy I don’t recognize.
“It’s okay, Gemma,” he assures her. “We can build another hiding place real easy.” I can tell he’s older than the girls by a few years, but he’s clearly having a blast being the ringleader.
“Aunt Jess, dis is our cousin, Cameron!” Gemma excitedly introduces the boy to me.
“Hi, Cameron,” I smile and wave at him.
“Hi,” he flashes a grin at me, showcasing a smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks as well as a missing front tooth. “My mom is Aunt Lyssa’s sister in case you were wondering,” he offers.
“Good to know,” I set a squirming Ari down and they quickly get back to destroying Scott and Alyssa’s living room.
The smell of coffee and cinnamon gets increasingly more divine the closer I get to the kitchen. Alyssa is the best baker in the history of all baked goods. “Knock, knock,” I announce.
“Hey, sis! Happy New Year!” Scott stands up from the small table and wraps me in a big hug. “Are you feeling better?”
I stare at him quizzically.
“Chris said he ran into your coworkers last night but you weren’t there because you were sick,” he supplies.
“Oh? Oh! Yes! I was. Yes, sick. But better. Today. I’m feeling better.” Not well enough to string together a coherent sentence, but I’m blaming that on the orgasms.
Scott doesn’t seem too put off by my sudden turn as a troglodyte, but Lyss peeks her head around and studies me. We exchange glances and I swear I’m wearing some sort of neon sign that says, “I GOT LAID LAST NIGHT!”
She schools her face back into its usual smile and leans in to kiss my brother on the cheek. “Baby, would you go check on the kids? I don’t want them to start climbing the bookcases while they’re making that obstacle course.”
“Wait, they’re making an obstacle course?” Scott asks. “Without me?” He doesn’t even wait for her reply before he’s halfway out of the kitchen. “Girls! Cam! Wait up, I know where extra blankets are!”
“I know a lot of women joke their husband is an extra child,” I say, “but in your case, I really think it’s true.”
Alyssa chuckles and hands me a glass of milk. “I knew that would get him out of here. Come sit down and eat a cinnamon roll with me. Tell me how good the sex was last night.”
I choke and set my glass down while I cough for what feels like a solid ten minutes. My sister-in-law just stuffs a cinnamon roll in her smiling face and waits for me to sit down with her.
“How do you do that? Is that like a radar you get when you become a mom or something? You just know when people are lying or when they’ve had relations?”
Before she can answer, another woman’s voice echoes just outside the kitchen. “Cameron St. Clair, get off of that bookcase, you are not a chimpanzee!” The door swings open and she goes straight for the coffee machine, muttering under her breath. This must be Alyssa’s sister, Teagan. I’ve never met her in person, but I remember Scott telling me she was coming out with her son to stay for a while.
“It was probably Scott’s fault,” Alyssa says to her around a mouthful of pastry.
“Sorry, Teags, that was my fault!” Scott calls from the living room.
Alyssa nods and points in the air.
I still can’t see Teagan’s face hidden behind a curtain of thick, red hair as she pours her coffee and shakes her head. “Nate would have been just as bad. Like I need to start the new year off with a trip to urgent care.” She sets the pot back on the burner and turns to lean back against the counter, cradling her coffee mug and sipping it like it might be the only good thing she has left to hold on to.
But her face catches my attention. “Wait, Ruby?”
“Ruby? Who’s that?” Alyssa asks.
“Oh hey, I remember you!” Ruby—er, Teagan?—smiles. She walks over and sits down at the table with us. She looks at Alyssa and explains, “she was in the bar the other night with some delicious piece of man candy.”
That doesn’t seem to clear anything up for Alyssa. “And that makes you Ruby becaaaause…?”
Her cheeks heat and she rolls her eyes. “That’s Cruz’s brilliant nickname for me.”
“K, so I’m definitely going to want more information on that later, but this is first come first served here, so I need to talk to Jess about the nookie she got from Connor last night.”
Teagan does not mind the change of subject. “Ooo, is Connor the man candy?”
Now it’s my turn to blush. “Kind of, yeah,” I say.
From there it’s a tag team of lady gossip, with Alyssa explaining to Teagan my history with Connor and my marriage to Alex, Teagan explaining to Alyssa what happened when Connor and I were at the bar together, and me explaining to Alyssa and Teagan what happened last night.
By the end, Alyssa is beaming. “You little vixen! Jess, that’s amazing!”
“So, did you come here straight from his place, then?” Teagan asks.
“No,” I shake my head. “No, I went home not long after we…um…finished up. I’m not ready for sleeping over yet.”
“I totally get that,” Teagan nods at the same time Alyssa says, “Why not?”
I shrug. “I like being in my own bed, you know? I don’t want to share my space with anyone.”
When Alyssa still looks unsure, Teagan chimes in. “Lyss, I love you, but you and Scott have been together for like a million years. You don’t know what it’s like out there now. Men are different, you have to be so careful.”
“Yeah, but I’ve known Connor just as long as I’ve known Scott,” Alyssa objects. “And Jess and I both love Connor’s brother, Chris, they’re good guys.”
“It’s not that they’re not good guys,” I begin.
“It’s just that you can never be too safe,” Teagan finishes.
Alyssa pauses in thought while she pops another bite of cinnamon roll into her mouth. Teagan gives me a look of support over the rim of the coffee mug that’s still glued in her hands.
“You know that not all men are a-holes, right, Jess?” Lyss finally asks.
“What? Yes. Yeah, of course I know that. Connor is a good man.”
“And you feel like you can talk to him?”
“Yeah, we talk all the time.”
“And you also feel like he listens to you?”
“He’s really attentive, definitely.”
“Then tell him about your fears and work it out with him.”
I scoff. “Fears? No, I’m not—” But her answering expression stops me in my tracks. That’s the lie detector part of her, no doubt.
Actually no, it’s not. I’m just a terrible liar. “I’ve talked to him about it a little already,” I confess. “But I was kind of all over the place, emotionally, and I don’t want him to get frustrated with me. Men hate talking about that stuff, don’t they?”
“Not all of them,” Teagan interjects. “Nate had just enrolled in the marines when we started dating. We had a lot of talks in the beginning about whether we should stay together, knowing he’d be gone so often. I’m not saying it was an easy road or anything, but it was all definitely worth it.”
“See?” Alyssa says. “Jess, you’ve been through some really traumatic things being married to Alex. This isn’t like you sitting down and trying to get Connor to define every aspect of your relationship. You’re just letting him know where you’re at, so he understands. And if he doesn’t respect that? Well, then, Scott will go clean his clock.”
“Whose clock am I cleaning?” Scott’s out of breath now, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a stack of linens.
“No one’s,” Alyssa replies. “What are you doing with my tablecloth and napkins?”
“Nothing,” he says.
They both stare at each other for a couple of seconds before Scott rushes out with his haul and Alyssa takes a sip of milk.
“Not all conversations are necessary,” she shrugs. “Now, let’s go grab the stuff to make our spread for movie day. You wanna join us, Teags?”
“DADDY, LOOK HOW FAST CAMERON CAN SLIDE DOWN DA RAILING!”
“I might need to stay here as the adult supervision,” Teagan answers.
Jess:
I’ve given your question some serious thought and I think I’d like my boyfriend to hang out with me tomorrow.
Connor:
I’ve cleared my calendar.
Connor’s sheets are amazing.
Like, I’m still not ready to sleep over, but when that day arrives, I am going to be really comfortable.
After proving to me that last night wasn’t the only good sex we could have, we’re lying next to each other in the dark of his room. His breath warms the back of my neck as his strong arm drapes over me and I study my bracelet. The moonlight peeking through his open window makes each charm glitter and twinkle as I move my wrist, including the new one he gave me today: an artist’s palette. His genuineness is as unnerving as it is comforting, and I still don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. He seems to know me so well, but I feel like there’s more of him to figure out.
“Tell me something you’re afraid of.” My voice is so quiet I’m not entirely sure I’d said it out loud. But he leans back in thought and I look over my shoulder at him.
“Honestly?” he asks.
I nod.
“I’m afraid of going back to work on Wednesday.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “What? Why?”
“I mean, I’ll be so out of the loop, I won’t know what’s going on.”
“Hasn’t Lisa been keeping you updated?”
“Yeah, but she’s been out of the office on her vacation, so I’ve been sort of hanging here with nothing to cling to since she left.” He stays leaning on his left shoulder but starts fidgeting with his hands. “I know it’s stupid, but I feel like…what if they realized they didn’t need me there? That I wasn’t that important after all? What if?—”
“Stop,” I command.
He does.
I turn around and sit up, pulling the sheets over my boobs so he’ll listen to me. “You are the most dedicated man I’ve ever met. You have devoted your life to that job and that company and the fact that your boss made you take this sabbatical proves that you’re valuable to them. Not just as an employee, but as a person. Yeah, maybe you’ll need a day or two to get caught up on everything, but you’re Connor freaking Price, Commander of the Business Suit.”
He gives me an odd look but chuckles anyway.
“There’s nothing in an office building that you can’t take down. I understand what you’re saying, but trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I bet within fifteen minutes you’re back in like a cozy pair of sweatpants. Or dress slacks or whatever. You’re gonna kill it.”
A slow smile crawls across his face, and he leans in for a kiss. “Thank you,” he says. “You’re right.”
“Absolutely I’m right. That office is like the mother ship calling you home.”
But that’s the problem, isn’t it? For me, I mean.
He must sense my hesitation because he gently touches my arm. “Hey,” he calls. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie.
“You can tell me, Jess. What’s going on?”
“What? Nothing. Nothing’s going on. I’m lying here naked in my super hot boyfriend’s bed, which has extraordinary sheets, so…starting the year off right, you know?”
He studies me before pulling out the big guns. “Tell me something that’s bothering you.”
I take in a deep breath and look him straight in the eyes. “Climate change.”
“Jessica! Come on!”
“Seriously, it’s a real problem! There are fires and droughts and…and…”
“Tell me something you’re not telling me.”
I open my mouth, hoping to have some kind of snappy retort, but my brain fails me. He says nothing, waiting me out. Must be those keen negotiating skills he has clearly not lost touch with over this sabbatical.
He was honest with you. You can do this. You can tell him.
“I’m afraid you’re going to forget about me when you go back to work.”
His expression shifts from determination to compassion, and he immediately reaches out to pull me into his arms. “Please tell me that’s not true,” he pleads, squeezing me tight.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “It’s not because I think you’ll do it on purpose…it’s just…work has always been your first priority, and I don’t want to ask you to change that, especially not after the short time we’ve been together but?—”
“Look at me,” he pushes me away but holds firm on my arms. His eyes are steel and his voice is pure conviction. “These past six weeks with you have shown me what I never knew I was missing. Yes, I have a demanding job and my schedule will change, but there is nothing in that building that takes priority over you. Jess, you have given my life a whole new dimension. You’ve given it color.”
My heart is pounding and my stomach is fluttering and I can’t ever remember a time feeling this treasured. I don’t want him to think it’s one-sided. “Connor, I never thought a man would ever make me believe I was worth his time. Or that I’m pretty. Or?—”
“Baby,” he runs his hand up behind my neck and pulls me towards him, brushing his lips against mine. “You are worth more than anything I could ever give you.” After another kiss, “You are stunning,” *kiss* “gorgeous,” *kiss* “smart,” *kiss* “funny…”
I smile against his mouth. “Now you’re just trying to get in more kisses.”
He smiles back. “That’s accurate, but it doesn’t make any of it less true.” He cradles my face with his hand and looks at me. “Let’s make this official.”
I lean into his palm and furrow my brows. “Official? Are we not official?”
“I mean, like, let’s go public. Let’s tell our families.”
Uh-oh.
I bite my lip. “So I kind of already talked to Alyssa about us.”
He looks surprised. “You did? When?”
“Yesterday. After we…you know…” I can see the wheels turning in his head. “Nothing bad, I swear! I was very complimentary towards you, it was an incredible night.”
“Were you nervous afterwards? Is that why you left? Jess, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable?—”
“No, no, not at all. I mean, yes, I was nervous, but not because of anything you did. I just…this is what I meant when I told you I have to move slowly, you know? I need time to process each step we take forward because I’m so damaged.”
He falls quiet in thought before he continues. “First of all, you’re not damaged. Please don’t think of yourself that way. You’re cautious and you fucking should be after what you’ve been through. You know I’m okay with this moving slow, right?”
“I do,” I reply. But I don’t tell him I’m mostly concerned that he’ll get frustrated with me. He always seems so sure of himself and what he wants, but I can’t seem to get a hold on anything.
“Do you think Alyssa said anything to your brother?” he asks.
“No.” I’m confident. “No, she would never tell him about my sexytimes activity, he would sooner die than hear about them.”
“Then we should be good. If your brother doesn’t know, then my brother doesn’t know, and we can just keep this quiet and go as slow as you need to. I just want to make sure you understand I take our relationship seriously and will definitely not forget about you when I’m sitting at work.”
My words are gone, my heart is a sappy puddle. I hate myself for it but I can’t help feeling like I’m laying next to the perfect man. “You’re going to breakfast with Chris tomorrow morning, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, after tennis.”
I chew on my lip. “Can I join you? We can tell him together.”
Connor regards me for a moment. “Jess, I just told you?—”
“I know you did. And I appreciate it, you have no idea. But you’re right. We’re both in this, we’re both close to our families. They should know. We should be able to share this with them, I know how happy they’ll be. And Chris should definitely be the first to hear.”
“You’re amazing,” he says to me.
“You’re amazing,” is my clever reply.
He kisses me, softly at first, but it turns demanding. He shifts to a seated position with his back against the headboard and I straddle his lap, our lips never leaving each other for more than a moment.
“Please stay,” his breath is shallow as he palms my breast and runs his lips down my neck. “Please stay with me tonight.”
“Not yet,” I throw my head back and roll my hips over his erection.
“Fuck,” he groans. “Then I’m going to have to make this last,” he decides and quickly rolls me onto my back, leaning over me. “Give me two more hours and I’ll let you go.”
“One hour,” I laugh.
“Ninety minutes.”
“You have tennis tomorrow and we have an important breakfast. One hour.”
He drops his head down in resignation. “Fine, one hour. You drive a hard bargain.”
“So do you,” I reach down and grab his cock.
“Jesus Christ, are you trying to make it 30 seconds?”
I giggle. “Come here, let’s make the most of this hour.”
I finally drove home three hours later.