32. Connor
“Are you mad?” Jess wrings her hands while she stares across the table at my brother. “You look really mad.”
She’s right, he looks pretty pissed.
“Not mad,” his voice is calm, but his face betrays him. “Just processing.”
Our booth at The Omelette Pan is towards the back of the restaurant by the kitchen, which is a blessing and a curse this morning considering the bomb we just dropped on Chris. He could tell something was up over tennis earlier, but I promised Jess I would wait until she was with me so we could tell him our news together.
The smell of eggs, pancakes, and multiple varieties of grilled pork fills my nostrils, and I help myself to another mug of mediocre coffee from the carafe on the table. Jess looks like she might start crying, so I slip her hand in mine under the table. Even with our fingers interlaced, she’s fidgeting, and I feel an overwhelming desire to ease her concerns.
“You’re mad I lied the other night, aren’t you?” she asks him sheepishly.
His face immediately softens. “What? Jess, no. No, I get it.” When her eyes prove unconvinced, he sighs. “I don’t get mad, remember?”
I step in here. “That’s not entirely?—”
“Not talking to you,” he interrupts me before turning back towards Jess. “I just want to make sure you’re both happy, okay?”
I see the tension ease from Jess’ shoulders as she squeezes my hand tighter. She grins widely at Chris, then stares up at me. I will never get tired of the way she looks at me. “I’m so happy,” she answers, her eyes still locked on mine.
I’m already grinning like an idiot back at her and just say, “Absolutely agree,” before leaning in to give her a kiss.
“Okay, okay,” Chris holds up his hands. “Let me at least eat before the PDA begins.”
Jess sighs and glances at her phone. “I’ve got to get to work anyway, I’ll let you two have breakfast.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay?” I ask.
“Sorry, handsome. But I’ll see you tonight, right? Dinner before your big day back tomorrow?”
“Dessert, too, I hope,” I waggle my eyebrows at her.
“Dude, seriously? I’m two feet away from you right now.” Chris scowls over his coffee mug.
Jess laughs and moves to stand up from the booth. “Sorry, that was my fault.”
Chris and I stand with her. He pulls her into a hug. “Nope, it sure wasn’t.”
She adjusts her purse on her shoulder and moves in towards me. “Miss you,” she says sweetly.
“Miss you back,” I answer and brush another kiss on her lips. A blush spreads across her cheeks and she tucks her hair behind her ear. “Have a good day,” I tell her.
I sit back down and watch her as she turns and waves at me before heading out the front door. When she’s totally out of sight, I look across the table at Chris, take a sip of my coffee and, with a smile still plastered on my face, say, “Go ahead. Lay into me. I know you’re dying to.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I meant what I said.”
“Buuuuut…”
“But what? But nothing. She’s happy, you’re happy. It’s great, man, you have my blessing.”
I eye him skeptically. “Buuuuut…” I supply again.
He gives in. I knew he would, he always folds so fast. “But are you two still going to look like the picture of relationship bliss three weeks from now?”
“What do you mean?”
He speaks slower, like he’s talking to Gemma. “When you’re back at work, in full-swing, is Jess still going to act like she’s been given a lifetime supply of Doodle Cookies and unicorn ponies?”
I sigh. “I know what you’re thinking and I’ve thought about that, too.”
“Oh, I have zero doubts you’ve thought about it. I’ve seen your checklist. The question is, have you actually said anything about it?”
“Right, well, yeah, I had to move some things around on the timeline, but it was actually really easy, you know? I’m going back to work tomorrow and Jess goes back to school the week after. We’re both going to be busy, so it’s not like either of us has the expectation we’re going to have a ton of free time for each other.”
His eyebrows rise. “Oh wow. Okay, that’s good. So you two have already talked it all out then, that’s great! I thought for sure you would have...” He stares at me a moment. “You haven’t said shit to her about this, have you?”
“I mean, I kind of have.” I’m not sure when I turned from boardroom kingpin into mumbling middle-schooler, but here we are. My brother’s scrutiny and my defensiveness for Jess have me flustered, apparently.
“Define ‘kind of,’” he demands.
“Listen, last night after we, um?—”
“Don’t need details.”
“Wasn’t offering them. But she told me she was afraid I would forget about her when I went back to work.”
“Shit,” he mumbles.
“It broke me. I’ve never…” I look at him directly so he knows how serious I am. “I’ve never felt like this before. I care about her so much and I never want her to feel like she’s not important to me. I was the one who suggested we should tell the families, so she’d understand that I’m in this 100%.”
After what seems like a lifetime, his expression relents and he finally looks convinced I meant what I said.
“She asked me to take things slow, I’ve totally let her set the pace for everything,” I go on. “I will always let her set the pace, no pressure from me. I know you’re protective of her and I’m grateful to you for it. But I swear on my life, you don’t need to protect her from me. If anyone hurts her, I’ll kill them myself.”
The corners of his mouth turn up. “I believe you will.”
I smile back and we both pick up our menus, as if we don’t eat here every week and already know what we’ll order.
“Don’t fuck it up, though,” he says.