43. Torin
FORTY-THREE
torin
She hasn’t spoken a word since she began stirring awake in her bed.
Not to get out of it.
Not to leave her alone.
Not to go fuck myself to hell and back.
I’m already there.
Bay’s been awake for well over an hour. She’s let me run my fingers softly through her hair to calm her nerves. She’s even taken a few sips of water for me after she passed out on the bathroom floor and practically scared me to fucking death.
There’s nothing like standing outside the door and hearing a sickening thud. I immediately rushed in, called the doctor, and—thanks to Hot Rod and fucking Juice—was delayed.
They sent their doctor in and told me to get the fuck out.
Amateurs.
My run-ins with those two fuckers should be enough for them to know it was never going to happen. Thankfully, Ozzy arrived and stepped in, otherwise, I may have been thrown out of South Shore on my ass and not permitted back in until he arrived.
But I would’ve had to use my wild card and title as King of South Shore.
Still doesn’t ring right.
Meanwhile, the doc said Bay was dehydrated as hell, and I learned how important it was for her to be eating and drinking as much as possible, especially when she’s going through this.
The loss of the baby has sent her down another spiral, and I take most of the responsibility for it.
Maybe if she was healthy—I’m not entirely sure if that would’ve mattered—the baby would have survived. It didn’t help with the stress levels Bay was under—the death of Wallace, her father, and everything I put her through— she wasn’t in the best shape.
That was all going to change. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her now. No matter what else she did or tried, Judah was my breaking point.
My denial.
To think she could put a bullet in him was ludicrous after Ozzy showed me the real video. Then she went and did it to Nessa, and I’m starting to believe I don’t know Bay at all.
Maybe.
I’ve put bullets into people. She put one in me.
It depends on the situation, I guess.
Could I fucking blame her for shooting Judah after he tried to strangle her?
No.
Did I want to think she murdered him?
Fuck no.
My brother was the only thing I had in this world that wasn’t fucked up. He promised me plans and a bright future.
And all I got was his disappearance and an alleged murder with no evidence.
Hence, my denial.
Scooting a bit closer to Bay, I whisper, “Ozzy’s getting you pizza, Wildfire. I need you to eat for me.”
Her head turns toward her pillow, hiding herself from my words and the action of doing what I just asked.
She can do whatever she wants.
I’ll hand-feed her if I need to.
“I have something for you.” I receive nothing in response to that, which I knew was going to happen. “But only if you take a few bites of?—”
“Fuck off,” she groans into her pillow, causing my lips to coil upward a bit as I continue running my digits through her hair.
I don’t push back right away, giving her a bit of relief when I finally bait her in.
“I think you’ll like it, Wildfire.”
“I’d like it if you went away .”
“Then I wouldn’t be able to give you your gift?—”
Bay suddenly turns on her back, eyes blazing with heated annoyance.
“What the hell do you want from me? Why are you in my bed? Why are you a freak of nature?”
I smile. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“ Leave, Torin,” she clips out through gritted teeth. “I don’t need a babysitter. I can drink and eat on my own.”
“But you’re not doing it. And the doctor said?—”
“ Out .”
Stubborn-ass little vixen.
Lifting my shoulders, I roll off her mattress, missing the warmth of her body against mine when I nonchalantly begin to walk out of her room. “I was hoping you’d come with me?—”
“I’m not going with you anywhere?—”
“To put your plan with De Leon in action.”
“ Wait .”
There she is…
Slowly and innocently, of course, I turn on my heel to face her. My girl looks so goddamn small in that bed. Her eyes are rimmed from tears she wouldn’t let me see. Her hair is a tangled mess, but she’s beautiful.
So fucking beautiful and still mine.
I don’t care if she’s mad at me forever; there will always be a part of Bay Astor she’ll never have back.
Because I won’t give it back.
“Yes, my love?”
Bay glowers, but she knows damn well I baited and won. “Shut the fuck up and talk.”
“Cairo would be furious,” I emit as if I give a fuck. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You should.” She pushes herself up to sit, leaning on one of her palms. “And stop playing your games, Torin .”
“Now, where’s the fun in that when I’ve been doing it for days ?”
She eyes me suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
I close a bit of the distance between us but keep a safe space. There are several objects on her bedside table I don’t feel like getting hit with. “I have DeLeon for you.”
Nothing.
Bay continues to stare blankly at me, like I’ve been imagining the last forty-eight hours in my head.
It does feel like a dream. I’ve only imagined Matteo in my clutches for years. Conjured up his death in my head a hundred times over.
However, we’ve all been taking turns on him at all hours of the day and night. And the ones who aren’t with De Leon are here tending to Bay.
Eat.
Beat the shit out of Matteo.
Torture him.
Taunt and mock him.
Shower off the blood.
Come see Bay.
And repeat.
“You have him?” Bay probes, allowing her curiosity out. I bow my head. “Where?”
“Somewhere safe and sound. Bleeding, but…ready and waiting for you.”
Her eyes narrow. “For what?”
“For whatever it is you want to do to him.”
She scoffs and shakes her head. “You’d never let me do that.”
I cock my head. “Wouldn’t I? C’mon, Wildfire…I’ve spent years wanting to rid myself of Matteo in this world. Motherfucker can’t read the room?—”
“Neither can you,” she bites back. “I’m seeing double right now.”
“Your vision blurry?”
“No, I see two assholes who hurt me.”
My stomach immediately drops a bit, but I don’t let her words deter me. I’m fully aware of what the fuck I did.
I don’t need the daily reminder.
Even though I fully deserve it.
“Only one loves you, Wildfire.”
Bay’s scowl doesn’t waver. “You don’t know shit about love, Pretty Boy. Just lust.”
“Is that what this is?” I cross my arms along my chest. “Because we’ve been through this before.”
“Before or after you tried to drown me?”
“You know why I did that.”
“And I told you I didn’t do it. Period.”
I know I have no right, but I still give her an unamused stare. “Are we forever going to be in this loop of you hating me and me trying to make it up to you?”
“ Yes .”
My whole body lifts dismissively. “Fine with me. One day, you’ll break down and fuck me.”
If I didn’t think her scowl was something to consider, the one she has planted on her face delivers a warning she’s ten seconds away from losing her shit.
It’s better than her lying in bed, depressed and blaming herself for what happened with the baby.
“Let’s make something clear here,” she maneuvers, crossing her legs Indian-style. “There’s not?—”
“I’ve heard this before.”
“And you’re going to keep hearing it. Don’t start getting delusional, Pretty Boy. This is where you and me end.”
“You chose me over Emilio. Don’t think I forgot that shit.”
“I did it for Reeve and Cairo. Not you.”
“Bullshit.”
She smirks like a fuckhead. “Believe whatever you want. I can’t trust you.”
“You can trust me just fine,” I retort evenly. “You just don’t want to, and that’s fair. I fucked up. I could’ve killed you. I wanted to kill you, Wildfire. There was nothing I wanted more than to avenge my brother’s death and the role I thought you played. But even then… even then I couldn’t pull the damn trigger on it. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Mhm.” There’s no use going back and forth. I know what she wants, and I have it. She wants Matteo, and Bay will have to come to me for him. “I’ll send Ozzy in to make sure you eat. Have a good night?—”
“Where is Matteo?”
“That’s a gift.”
“I want it.”
“I want you,” I retort seriously. “But that’s going to take some time, isn’t it?” She opens her mouth to probably tell me how much of a fuck-twat I am, but I cut in with, “You handed me over South Shore. Don’t get it fucked up that I don’t see what you did. You trust me, Bay. In some small capacity, you know I wouldn’t fuck this up for you.”
“There was no one else around.”
“There was Oz. There was Juice and Hot Rod. Why didn’t you give it to?—”
“Are you done here?” she grinds out, cutting into that loop of a question I’ve been thinking about for days.
I drop my head. “For now. Rest up. You were dehydrated, and the last thing we need is Cairo getting all into his fucking feelings about your condition. Trust me, Wildfire, you don’t want that kind of attention from him, and he doesn’t know a doctor was here today. Let’s keep it that way.”
Her nostrils flare, but she doesn’t utter a single word. Good girl.
“Eat dinner and breakfast tomorrow, I’ll come pick you up. You fucking eat like a bird, and I’m not pulling up to shit. You’ll wait.”
“You’re a bitch.”
I smile. “Ah, well…at least I’m your bitch, baby. I still wouldn’t do this for anyone else.”
“And if you’re thinking Matteo didn’t possibly set this so-called kidnapping as a ruse to get you killed, you’re a dumbass.”
It’s crossed my mind.
Several times.
Thing is, no one has come for him. No one knows where he is.
I have the Forsaken Crew scouting The Landings, making sure anyone who doesn’t belong can’t enter.
All and all, it’s not a foolproof plan. Kidnappings go sideways, he could have a knife up his ass to stab me with later, I don’t know.
Regardless, what I am confident about, is he doesn’t last the week.
“You want to see him, Wildfire, or not?” I hedge, holding her stare. “I can handle him myself without you getting involved.”
She blinks, easily remaining in my gaze, when she says, “I want to do it with no strings attached.”
“There are always strings attached when it comes to us. In fact, I have chains. You’re never leaving me. And I’m never leaving you. We’re bonded, mated, and fucking in this bitch together. You don’t go near him without me.”
“I don’t need you.”
A small scoff leaves my throat because maybe she’s right.
Maybe she doesn’t need me and can carry on herself without my meddling and possessive ways.
Will she have the opportunity to?
No.
“That’s beside the point,” I emit evenly. “I need you. I want you. And, fuck me, if I have to die to get it, I will. Each and every single time.”