MY LAST NAME ON YOUR BACK
MATTHEW
B ella’s parents came over, and she was just as strong and brave as she’d been when she talked to Chief Marin last night. She answered all their questions, and when her mom started crying, she did her best to try to calm her down. And when her brother looked like he might spin right the fuck off like an out-of-control top, I did my best to do the same for him.
It was a horrible situation, but we were in it together.
All in all, the conversation went well, but my girl looked so damn tired. I let them know that I planned on having daily check-ins with the chief and that I’d keep them up-to-date. The last thing I wanted was for Chief Marin to get phone calls from ten different people all day long. I assigned myself as the point of contact, and no one fought me on it. When it came down to it, we all wanted the same thing—for Bells to be safe and for this piece of shit to never step foot in our town again.
My brothers arrived with the last load of Bells’s things right as her family was getting ready to clear out. Patrick and Thomas walked through the door, carrying boxes that they set on the kitchen counter, Jasper following close behind.
“Right. Almost forgot to tell you all that I’m moving Bells in with me. And she doesn’t have a choice,” I announced as everyone was saying their hellos to each other.
“I have a choice,” she argued—because of course she argued .
“You don’t.” Her brother sided with me.
“It’s a good idea. I would feel better if you were here with Matthew,” her mom said before pinching my cheek like I was a toddler.
Her dad hadn’t said much of anything the entire time, and I assumed that he was processing what he’d just heard in his own way. I couldn’t imagine that any father enjoyed hearing what he just had.
“Thank you for taking care of her,” he said to me privately as he was leaving, shaking my hand in the process.
“I always will.”
“I know. I’m glad she has you.”
“That means a lot.” I gave him a half smile as he left with his wife.
I put a hand on Leo’s shoulder to stop him before he followed them right out the door and bailed.
“You staying in town for the day?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nah. I gotta get back to the office. Looks like she’s in good hands anyway,” he said.
I was grateful that my dating his sister wasn’t some huge issue for him.
A part of me hadn’t been sure what direction that conversation was going to head in. Leo could have been pissed and vowed to never speak to me again, and honestly, I wouldn’t have really given a shit. The only thing that would have bothered me was how that kind of response would have hurt Bells. She loved her brother, and I didn’t want them not talking to one another because of me.
“She is. And, hey, thanks for being cool about this,” I said. I wanted him to know that I appreciated the grace he was giving.
“It’s still a little weird. Never thought I’d see a time when you’d settle down, but I see it clear as day when you look at her. Which is gross. So, stop it.” He laughed as he made a face.
“I’ll try to keep it in check when you’re around. Speaking of, you’ve got to come home more often,” I demanded, as if I had any right to do so, but he really did look awful.
He nodded. “I will.”
“You won’t,” I countered because we both knew that as long as he was trying to climb that proverbial ladder, he wouldn’t be back anytime soon.
“Probably not,” he agreed.
We hugged, both of us patting the other’s back a little harder than necessary.
“I was serious about the job if you ever want one. That offer does not have an expiration date. You know, in case you burn yourself out in three to five years,” I said once we broke apart, hoping he knew that I meant it.
The rate that Leo was going, it could lead to him either burning the fuck out or running the place.
“Not gonna happen, but I appreciate it.”
There was that Leo Sanchez arrogance I’d always respected. It was part of the reason why he had been my best friend when we were kids. He never let anyone tell him what he could or couldn’t accomplish.
“Walk me out, sis?”
Bells nodded, and they disappeared outside together. My brothers were now moving the boxes they’d stacked in the kitchen downstairs, and I grabbed one and headed down, laughing at the way Jasper was sprawled out across the floor like he owned the place.
“We get it all?” I asked once I dropped it onto the carpet.
“ We did not. But Thomas and I did,” Patrick sassed. He really had been such a mouthy thing since Addison had come back into his life.
“Thank you. I appreciate it,” I said.
Thomas pulled the set of apartment keys from his front pocket and dropped them in my hand.
“You going to handle the lease and stuff?” Thomas asked, reminding me that I needed to do that.
“Yeah. I’ll deal with that before I head into work. Can you let Dad know I’m wrapping up a few things and then I’ll be in? I texted him earlier, but that was hours ago.”
Thomas nodded. “You’re allowed to take the day off. Dad will understand.”
I knew that.
“I know, but I’m not sure I need to.”
What I needed to do was see what Bells’s plans were for the rest of the day. If she was going into work or not, if she wanted to be alone or not. My day depended on what she needed.
“I was told the girls talked about taking a self-defense class,” Thomas said. “But Bella said she wanted to talk to someone first.”
“Like a therapist, you mean?” I asked, wanting clarification. This was all news to me.
“Yeah. Just so you’re aware.”
“Thanks. I think either or both of those are good ideas. Whatever she wants, I’ll support,” I said, and my brother knew that I was a goner for my girl.
Patrick blew out a breath as he looked at his cell phone. “Keep us in the loop with everything. Addi’s at the restaurant, yelling at the camera installer.”
“She is not,” I said with a laugh because Addi rarely yelled at anyone.
“Apparently, she is. I’m going to stop by there before she makes him cry or something,” he said before he started sprinting up the stairs. “Come on, Jasper!” he yelled, and the dog rolled onto his feet and ran after his owner.
“Okay.” Thomas shrugged. “I should get to the resort. We’ll talk later.”
And just like that, the house was empty once more, but it had all of Bells’s things in it. And somehow, it felt more like home than it had twenty-four hours earlier.
I hung out downstairs for a little while and unpacked a few boxes, just trying to give Bells some space of her own. I was torn between gluing myself to her side or letting her come to me. When I heard her talking to someone on the phone, I continued the unpacking. There wasn’t that much stuff, but it looked damn good. Pulling up the app on my phone, I played some music just to have some noise. Usually, I’d have the TV on in the background to drown out the silence.
“Matthew?” Her voice was soft, but I still heard it over the sound of anything else.
“Downstairs,” I shouted.
That was when I noticed her standing there, looking like a dream. Her long, dark hair was almost to her waist, and she looked so damn cute, wearing my old hockey jersey and quite possibly nothing else. My dick instantly sprang to life. He was an animal. I shifted my legs, trying to get him to calm down, but it was no use. If Bells was in the room, he was aware of her presence.
“What are you wearing?” I asked, my voice gravelly.
She did a little spin before stopping. “Found it in the closet. Do you like it?”
“Are you kidding me? You, wearing my jersey, are a sight to behold, Bella Sanchez.” I reached for her shoulders and spun her so that her back was facing me. I brushed her hair over her shoulder and took a look. “You have no idea how sexy that is.”
She glanced over her shoulder at me innocently. “What?”
“My last name on your back.”
“Oh.” She sounded surprised. “You like that?”
“No. I fucking love that.”
I’d never had this kind of reaction to seeing a woman in my jersey before. The fans were one thing. My ego absolutely adored that, but I’d never been filled with pride and the desire to show this woman off to every person on the planet—only with her on the Jumbotron as I made sure they all knew that she belonged to me. Then again, I’d never been in love until now.
Bells turned around so she was facing me, and she tossed her dark hair off her shoulder. “I want to ask you something, but I feel kind of weird about it.”
“Ask away.” I reached for her hands and held them as we faced one another.
She swallowed, her eyes looking around the room instead of focusing on me. I knew she was nervous, but I had no clue why.
“I want to have sex with you,” she said, and my entire face broke out into a grin.
“And that’s weird why? I’m a great lover. I’d want to have sex with me too.”
I tried to lighten the mood, and she swatted my arm.
“I just don’t know… if I should even want to after everything that happened last night. But I don’t really want that guy to be the last person who tried to touch me. I need you to erase him from my memory bank.”
I had no idea if that was even possible, but I’d damn well try. “I’m up for the challenge.”
She smiled, and I grabbed her tiny body and tossed her over my shoulder. She screamed—in a good way—as I raced up the stairs toward our bedroom. I’d been calling it that since I moved in— ours —but now, it was actually true.
When I laid her down, still in awe at seeing her in my jersey, I bit my bottom lip. “You’ll tell me if you’re not okay, right?”
She nodded and reached for me. I moved my body on top of hers and hovered there while I kissed her long and deep. I’d never get tired of doing that. Her tongue was frantic as she licked my lips and pressed hers against my own, completely voiding the slow pace I had been trying to establish.
This was a desperate Bella, a needy one. As much as I wanted to bury myself in her, I needed to maintain some kind of a level head. Every movement I made, I did it with extra caution and slower than normal. If she shuddered or got nervous in any way, I wanted to be able to drop to my fucking knees and hold her tight. But as I peeled off my jersey and noticed nothing at all underneath, she was smirking.
“You were naked under this?” My eyes were wide as I took her in.
“You should have paid better attention,” she teased.
I kissed her from her stomach and worked my way back up to her mouth.
“Still okay, baby?” I asked.
“Yeah. It’s you, so I know I’m safe,” she said, and no one had ever said anything like that to me before.
I kept her safe.
She kept me sane.
“I love you,” I breathed out against her skin.
She ran her fingernails through my hair, and I swore I almost started purring like a cat.
“I love you too.”
I continued kissing her, like I couldn’t get enough. Being connected that way, breathing the same air together and being fully aware of it, was something I’d never felt before. In the past, I hadn’t had sex for the emotion of it. It was a need. A necessity. I had gone through the motions and moved on, never even thinking about it again.
Making love to Bells was a whole new experience every single time. When I stopped kissing her to get my clothes out of the way, we both whimpered at the broken contact. My skin buzzed with electricity. My heart pounded in time with hers.
“I’m going in, babe,” I warned.
She dug into my ass and pulled at my body. She’d gotten on birth control, and we weren’t using a condom, which was also a first for me. It was an incredible feeling—to have no barriers and nothing between us. If I’d thought sex with Bells was amazing before, it was tenfold now. I felt every reaction her body made. The way she would tighten and release, like a fist. It was almost too much.
“Go slow,” she said, and before I could ask her anything, she responded, “Not because I’m scared. Because I want it to last.”
“Not sure I can last,” I admitted.
She lowered her head from my shoulder to look at me. “Why not?”
“You feel too fucking good with nothing between us. I had no idea how much the condom dulled,” I said as I continued to move in and out of her, feeling every bit of her wetness as she got even more turned on.
“Really? Is it that different?” she asked before she buried her head against the crook of my shoulder and bit down.
“Ow,” I said before adding, “I kind of like it.”
She giggled and bit down again. I did like it.
“And, yeah, it feels very different. Does it for you?”
“I’m not sure.”
Well, shit. I was going to have to make her sure. I had no idea how, but if it felt that much better for me, it should feel better for her too.
Without directing, Bells moved one leg onto my shoulder, and I almost passed out from the pleasure. Just that simple movement let me hit someplace new inside of her. I could feel it because I could damn well feel every fucking thing.
“Oh. That feels so good. Are you getting harder?” she asked as she panted, her hips rolling as I continued moving.
I was definitely getting harder.
Gripping the side of her thigh, I moved my head to kiss whatever part of her leg was next to my face. “I’m going to come, baby.”
Her hand reached down, and she gripped the base of my dick. Another surprise move that almost ended my life because, holy shit, that felt amazing.
“Damn, baby,” I panted. “That feels so good. Don’t let go.”
“I feel you getting even bigger.” She sounded so out of breath as she held on tight to my dick.
Whatever the hell she was doing felt like she’d flipped some kind of switch. There was no stopping me now.
My mouth opened to say something, but everything died in my throat as I came. Her hand stayed fisted around me the whole time. And only once I stopped completely did she let go and move it away.
“I felt that. I could feel you pulsing inside me.” She sounded so joyful. Like I was a new toy she could play with.
And play with me she could.
“So, it was different for you,” I said breathlessly as I rolled off of her and onto my back. Turning my head to look at her, I saw that she was still smiling. “Where’d you learn that trick?”
“Which one?”
“The one where you grabbed me and made me come in two seconds?” I asked, shaking my head.
“I just wanted to see what you felt like because you seemed so much bigger. I didn’t know that would happen.”
“Well, feel free to do that anytime. But know that when you do, you’re ending the session.” I grinned before leaning over and giving her a kiss. “I love you. You’re incredible. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. Shower with me?”
She didn’t even give me a chance to respond before she was on her feet. My sweet girl, who had been so innocent when we first got together, was now running the damn show. I felt like the inexperienced one between the two of us, and honestly, maybe I was.
I was okay with that.
We took a shower, and I lathered up Bells’s body and washed her softly. She did the same to me. It was intimate and sensual and a little humbling. There was a level of trust involved in letting someone touch and see every single part of you.
After we got out, we walked into the massive closet that I swore was the size of her old apartment.
“I was going to go into the office, but I can stay home if you need me.”
She shook her head. “I want to go into work today,” she said.
I shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised, but I kind of was.
“Yeah?”
“I really do feel a lot better. And I don’t want to sit here all day and do nothing. I’m not good at that. I like to be busy.”
“But you’ll let me know if you get uncomfortable or you’re not okay, won’t you?” I glanced at her as I pulled out a gray suit.
“Of course. But I think I’ll be fine. You hired security, right?” She was thumbing through her clothes.
“Yeah. He starts today.”
“Thank you for that.”
“Baby, I’d do anything for you. Anything. You just name it.” I faced her, and she stopped moving her hangers to turn around and look at me.
“I know you would. I appreciate it so much.”
Her voice was filled with a sincerity that I didn’t need to hear. At least not from her. I knew how good and true Bella was. She’d never take advantage of me or use me for my money. Hell, the girl had loved me when I had nothing except my good looks. Not that I could blame her.
I finished getting dressed and saw the outfit Bells had pulled out and set on top of the dressing table. She’d actually pulled out a pair of pants and a bodysuit. It wasn’t her typical attire. No extra skin would be showing on my girl today. She usually wore a tank top or a cropped top. Not that I minded having her covered up. I just paid attention to the subtle differences.
“I’ll text you later. Hey, things with your parents and your brother went pretty well, don’t you think?”
We hadn’t even talked about seeing them yet.
“I do. It was hard to tell them, but still better than I’d expected. And I’m so relieved that Leo knows about us. I didn’t realize that I had been kind of stressed out, keeping that secret.”
“Yeah. If he was going to be pissed about anything, it could have been that part, and I wouldn’t have even blamed him,” I agreed. Looking back, I realized it had kind of been a shitty thing for us to do, but it was over now.
I wanted to bring up the self-defense class or the therapy that Thomas had mentioned, but it felt like I’d be piling way too many things on her all at once. I didn’t want to overwhelm her, so I decided we could talk about it later.
Besides, I had my own shit to deal with. I’d been getting referrals for sports psychologists from other retired hockey players over the last week. I hadn’t mentioned it to Bells yet because I hadn’t chosen one. I’d finally pull the plug and schedule an online meeting today. I had to work through losing hockey earlier than expected, and now, I had what had happened to her and how helpless I’d felt. It had never been a more pertinent time for me to get my shit together and become the kind of man Bells could be proud of—in every aspect, not just my ridiculously good looks and charm.
But truthfully, I wanted to be proud of myself too.