Worth the Fight #2
“Earth to Lukas,” Theo interrupts my thoughts. “Gray’s got a point. What do you have to lose?” He claps his hands once before rubbing his palms together. “Call her right now, do it. Pressure’s on. Gray and I will only help restore this hot mess of a house if you call her.”
Grayson rolls his eyes at that, and Theo catches it, elbowing him.
I know they’d both help me no matter what I asked; that’s the type of brothers they are. But suddenly, the weight of my phone in my back pocket feels heavy, and Grayson’s words echo in my mind. What do I have to lose?
When I reach for my phone, Theo's eyes widen. “Well, shit, folks, he’s really doing it.”
I flip him off for good measure, then turn my back, and with trembling hands, I scroll to my list of important contacts. Mags's name is still sitting at the top with a kissy face and a heart next to it.
There’s nothing to lose, I remind myself.
She’s already broken up with me, already hates me, and has already spent the last nine months moving on.
The worst that can happen is she won’t answer.
Or maybe she’ll answer and tell me she’s married.
Or worse, maybe she will have changed her phone number, and with no way to contact her, it’ll be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship.
Before I can second guess myself, I press the call button, and my stomach plummets to the floor the moment it rings.
I pace down the worn porch, three steps forward, spin of a heel, and three steps back. Grayson and Theo watch, expressions frozen.
“It’s ringing,” I mouth to them.
“Hey.” Magnolia’s voice comes across the line, and my heart soars. Sweat gathers on my palms, and I stop so abruptly my toe catches on a piece of jagged wood. “It’s Magnolia, sorry I’ve—” her voicemail starts, and I close my eyes, shuddering out a ragged breath.
“It’s only her voicemail,” I whisper to my brothers.
“Leave a message,” Theo hisses.
I nod at him, and before I know it, the beep of her voicemail sounds, and I open my mouth, only for no words to come out.
“Say something,” Grayson grits out, and when I look at my brothers, they’re both wide-eyed. Theo makes a “get on with it” swinging motion with his hands, and I clear my throat.
“Hey, Mags, Magnolia … it’s me. Um … this is Lukas, Lukas Hart.”
Theo winces at my fumbled words, and I turn away from them, opting to walk a few more paces down the porch. Hopefully out of earshot.
“I know it’s been a while. But … uh, I guess, I just needed to hear your voice again.
” I laugh awkwardly. “I don’t know where to start, really.
I feel like there is so much I have to say, so much I want to tell you.
Um … you were right about a lot of things, for starters.
You were right that I was drinking too much, making too many excuses.
You were right to break up with me.” I can feel my voice crack, but I clear my throat and push through.
“I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve a relationship with someone like you with how I was acting, and I see that now.
I guess, the biggest thing I want to tell you is that I’m sober.
Sober now for two months. That’s the one thing you’d probably be the happiest to hear.
Not that you'll be happy to hear from me. But, uh, toward the end, that seemed to be the biggest driver that tore us apart. How I acted when I was like that, anyways. It was always a battle between me and my own mind. You knew what I was doing to myself and you tried to help more than anyone else did.”
She tried harder than any one person should have. I knew she was right, but I was too stubborn to see it. Then two months ago, I hit my breaking point, and almost ended it all. I’ve been slowly clawing my way back ever since, and it feels damn good to try again.
“I’m in therapy, can you believe that? Grayson is dating someone, a doctor, she’s real nice.
You’d like her. Anyways, she’s helping me with a lot of this.
And one thing I’ve learned is that I wasn’t good at talking about stuff.
Newsflash, you were right about that, too.
” I chuckle again, but the silence on the other end of the line reminds me I won’t get a response.
“I wasn’t. But I want to be better … at everything.
Ugh, this isn’t making any sense. If I do ever get a chance to talk to you again, at least I hope I get a chance someday, I’m promising you now that I’d make it right. ”
I pause, wondering what I should tell her. I mull over what to say first. Do I say I’m sorry again? Go through all the reasons I'm sorry for hurting her? Or do I just end it now and ask that she call me back?
I doubt she’s going to call me back.
I catch my brothers staring at me. Theo whispers something out of the corner of his mouth to Grayson, and Grayson nods once, scrubbing a hand over the back of his head.
“I, um … I’m back in Copper Ridge, working on the family farm full-time. Otherwise, not much new going on with me, trying to lay low these days, I guess.”
Theo waves his arms over his head to get my attention, and when I look up, he rubs a hand over his stomach, and Grayson makes an exaggerated half circle with his stomach.
Shit. Oh, yeah, the baby.
“Oh. Um … there is one thing. I guess, I want you to hear it from me as opposed to any gossip that might find you. I don’t know if you still talk to anyone from back home, but, uh…
” I blow out a heavy breath, looking up to the sky, finding the sun through a crack in the porch roof.
“I’m having a baby. Well, not me, exactly.
This girl I was seeing briefly. I’m not seeing her anymore, though.
She’s actually dating the vet in town, which is good for her.
Did you know Copper Ridge finally has a vet full-time?
He makes house calls for large animals, so it’s been a nice change for the farms around here. ”
Theo snaps his fingers to get my attention, and when I glance up, he gives me a stern look, reminding me to shut the fuck up and stay on track. Grayson has taken his hat off and covered his face with it, trying to ward off the second-hand embarrassment.
“Her name is Candi. She’s great. We’re not together, like I said. She’s great in a platonic way. We’re going to co-parent. Anyways, I just need you to know that.”
I move to the back of the porch, where the house faces the west, and I stare out, remembering how much she loved this view.
“God, I miss you Mags. I miss you more than you could ever realize. And I get it, if you don’t call me back.
And as much as it would suck, I'd understand if you didn’t even listen to this voicemail, but I have years of apologies that I need to work through, that I’m desperate for you to hear, I just—” A shrill beep interrupts my words, and I look at the phone, realizing that it cut me off at nearly three minutes.
I turn back to my brothers, and hold the phone up to them. “Her voicemail cut me off, do I call back?”
Theo immediately shakes his head no.
“I think what you said is good for now,” Grayson says with subtle tact. “Let her listen to it and mull it over. Maybe try again in a few days.”
I push out another breath as I walk back toward them, feeling a lightness that I haven’t felt in what seems like years. “I actually feel better now that I've broken the ice.”
Grayson nods, a soft smile on his face, but it’s Theo who has to give me some shit.
“Really?” Theo says. “I mean, I'm glad you called, but that was painful dude. So awkward and painful my butthole was puckered the entire time.”
Grayson reaches an arm out, shoving Theo to the side. He catches himself with the side railing, and it nearly gives way with an audible crack. Theo snickers, looking up to face me.
“I’m just fucking with you, Lukas, I’m glad you finally called.”
I nod and glance to the phone in my hand, wondering now if every single call, every humming vibration of a text is going to make my heart race, thinking it’s her.
I quickly shove it into my back pocket before scrubbing my hands over my face.
“Alright, now that’s over. Let’s go inside and see how much damage has actually been done. ”
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