Chapter 4
D ominic
Two Months Ago
“I don’t want to go, and you can’t make me!” Sienna wails before flouncing off and slamming her bedroom door. Jesus Christ. My oldest daughter is going to be an absolute nightmare when she’s a teenager. She’s not quite even tween age, and the dramatics she embodies rival a snotty heiress expecting to get everything she wants.
“School is not up for debate, Sienna. I can, and will, make you go,” I respond, my deep voice echoing throughout the house, reverberating against the wood floors.
“Damn, Dominic, a little sympathy would go a long way here.”
I stiffen as I hear the voice behind me. Kate glides past me and knocks on Sienna’s door. “Hey, girl. It’s Kate. Can I come in?”
“Yes,” I hear muffled from inside. Kate shoots me a glance, the ever-present smirk on her face as she’s bested me once again, as she slides into Sienna’s room and closes the door. I hear whispers and giggles immediately, and I sigh in defeat, resting my head against the wall. I’m fucking tired.
Until recently, I had a handle on things. Or at least I thought I did. I was doing the single dad thing fairly well. I wasn’t struggling at work. Well, that’s if my “retired” father doesn’t poke his nose into the business. Was I busy? Fuck yes. But I thought I was doing okay.
Then Sienna turned eight, and it was like a switch was flipped. I assumed puberty wouldn’t happen until much later, but there have to be some hormones at play here. Her mood swings are absurd. Our pediatrician assured me that nothing was physically wrong with her, and that we basically just needed to ride the wave. Regardless, it’s been rough . As she’s now ten, I honestly don’t know what to expect next.
If this is how bad she is now, I’m incredibly fearful for the teenage years.
My son Carter will be eight in a few months, and the terror that is my daughter Aspen has her seventh birthday soon thereafter. Carter and Aspen are almost what we call Irish twins, as they are fourteen months apart.
I’ve never believed in love. That’s my mom’s thing. And my grandmother. Nonna believes in fairy tales. She thinks everyone has at least one soulmate in the world, and that they are destined to find each other, one way or another.
I think it’s a bunch of bullshit.
There isn’t one woman who will “complete” me. There just isn’t. I enjoy a woman’s companionship, but that’s it. I don’t want one in my life nonstop. My marriage proved that. I will never feel like my heart has met its match. I’m cool with doing my own thing. Hell, as of late, sex hasn’t even been on my radar. No woman is going to make me feel like I’d burn down the world for her.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
I’d straight up murder for my kids.
That’s the only love I know. Unconditional love for the humans I helped create. Sienna, with her empathetic nature. Carter with his sense of humor and desire to try everything. And Aspen with her sassy personality and undeniable charm. So while I may say it was a mistake to trust my ex-wife with birth control, I’ll never call my children a mistake. They are the greatest gift I’ve ever received .
Savannah only put up a fight when she realized I wasn’t going to pay for anything. I guess she thought I’d continue to support her while she gallivanted around the country. She threatened to sue for full custody, which was absurd because Colorado doesn’t even use the terms joint custody and full custody anymore. The state breaks custody into two areas: decisions and time. Basically it boils down to how decisions are made for the children, and where they’ll spend their time. My type-A personality thrived in preparing for our divorce, and I know she wasn’t ready for everything I threw at her.
Savannah arrived at our first meeting with an attorney that looked like he had just passed the bar, and they were completely unprepared. On the other hand, I had text messages, doorbell camera videos, and eyewitness accounts of all the times Savannah hadn’t been a role model for our children. Her lack of financial stability meant she couldn’t provide any sort of home for the kids either. Even with the cash payout for the increase in property value on the home I purchased before we were married, it wasn’t enough for her to put a down payment on a house. Rental prices in Colorado are exceptionally high, and she couldn’t provide a suitable situation for the kids.
I was awarded sole custody of my three children after Savannah showed up to our next meeting stoned out of her mind. She didn’t even cry, just sat in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest, and a sullen expression on her face. I realized at that moment how I’d married an adult woman who had the emotional capacity of a child.
Once the divorce and custody proceedings were final, Savannah skipped town. Sienna was devastated. She didn’t understand what divorce meant, she just recognized that her mother was gone. Carter didn’t care, and Aspen … well, she barely even recognizes her mother today, let alone as a baby.
Only after Savannah left did I find out she’d had multiple affairs throughout our tempestuous marriage. I wasn’t surprised, and I wasn’t as upset as I thought I’d be. Yeah, it was embarrassing to be cuckolded, and to get those looks from Eternity Springs residents, but I was thrilled to be rid of her. But don’t get me started about the articles on the town gossip website, which seemed to have a play-by-play of the entire debacle.
Has life been stressful? Yeah. But probably not any more than it was when she lived in my house. It’s nice not to have to deal with her … until she invariably decides to roll back into town and wreak havoc on her unsuspecting children.
“Dominic.”
I jolt, unaware I’m still standing in the hallway outside Sienna’s bedroom, and find a disgruntled Kate staring at me.
“What?”
“Are you okay?” she asks, her eyebrows raised in concern.
“Yes. I’m fine,” I respond, standing tall so that I look down at her, which is somewhat hard to do, considering she’s quite tall. “Is Sienna okay?”
“She’s fine. Drama with a girl in her class,” Kate says, swirling her hands in a gesture between us meant to excuse the crying fit my daughter just had. “Typical girl stuff.”
“Typical? She’s ten. How typical can this be?” I comment.
“You’re not female, so I’m not sure how to answer that without sounding condescending. I handled it. She’s fine now.” Kate straightens her shoulders and extends her chin, I’m sure in what is supposed to be a power move. At six-one, I usually tower over people. But not Kate. She’s tall for a woman, and I bet if she wore heels, she’d only be an inch or two shorter than me. Her face is almost always devoid of any makeup, but she rarely goes without lipstick. I’ve seen every shade imaginable on those perfectly plump lips.
Not that I usually notice her lips. Well, that’s a lie, but right now, she’s biting them, and I fight the urge to pull her bottom lip out from between her teeth with my own. But as I look at her deep brown eyes, that so often focus on other people with a sparkle, they look dull and uninterested as she waits for my response.
Fuck. I can’t even remember what she said .
I clear my throat, my voice going deeper as I put on my CEO voice, and immediately put my foot in my mouth. “In the future, please speak with me before you intend to gossip with my daughter privately.”
Kate’s eyes narrow to slits as her lips form a straight line. My heartbeat quickens as I realize I’ve really pissed her off.
“What I mean, Kate, is —”
Kate interrupts me. “Message received. Is that all, Mr . Santo?”
Before I can respond, she pivots on one foot and quickly walks down the hall. A moment later, I hear her basement bedroom door slam shut.
Lovely. Rubbing my temples, I can feel a migraine coming on.
“Daddy?”
I turn to see Aspen staring at me from her bedroom doorway. “Hi, peanut.”
“Did Kate leave?”
“Just to her room, but you might want to give her some time before you go and speak with her.”
“Did you make her mad again, Daddy?” Aspen asks innocently.
“Yes.” No sense in lying about it. Aspen sees through my bullshit most of the time anyway.
“Fuck.”
“Aspen Grace, we’ve talked about this unsavory use of profanity,” I tell her, sighing as I rub the bridge of my nose and squeeze my eyes closed in frustration.
“If you get to say it, why can’t I?” she asks.
“Because it is inappropriate. I shouldn’t say it either.”
“Uncle Luca says it all the time,” she comments.
“That is true.”
“Well I said it because I wanted Kate to braid my hair. And you suck at it.”
I can’t help the wry chuckle that bursts from my lips as I look down at my youngest daughter. Sienna and Carter are a mixture of genetics. Carter has my sharp nose, but Savannah’s coloring. Sienna has Savannah’s eyes, but my hair. But Aspen is all me. Curls surround her cherubic face, and chocolate brown eyes that appear molten when she’s excited about something. Aspen always wears a mischievous grin, like she knows something I don’t, and it’s rare that she’s intimidated by anything. The sass and spunk she spews daily, though, I don’t know where the hell that came from. Certainly not me.
“Do you think you can do space jams?” Aspen asks innocently, peering up at me through thick lashes that all the Santo kids and grandkids have.
“Space buns.”
“That’s what I said.”
“No, you said — it doesn’t matter. Yes, I’m sure I can do space buns. Downstairs, please,” I say, motioning for her to head downstairs. Carter’s door opens, and he bounces out. Carter is always bouncing. Honestly he never sits still. I believe he siphons the energy straight from my soul.
“Dad, did you know Mercury can get up to eight hundred degrees during the day?” he asks gleefully. Carter is currently on a space kick. He goes through phases where he needs to learn everything there is to know about a topic. We went through an NHL phase, courtesy of my brother Luca, as well as a war phase, thanks to my brothers Alex and Leo, who are both in the military. Carter actually wanted to learn more about pregnancy and childbirth, and I put my foot down. No seven-year-old needs to learn about that. He’s recently begun showing an infatuation with fire alarms and smoke detectors, which shouldn’t be normal for a kid.
No one knows yet, not even my parents, and definitely not Kate, but I’ve begun taking Carter to therapy after asking for some testing from our pediatrician. His constant bouncing and energy, the odd interest phases, and some insane meltdowns have led me to believe Carter is possibly autistic, and due to his outgoing nature, it’s been missed up until this point. Frankly, the fact that I’ve missed it as his father is a punch to the gut. I should have recognized it sooner. Should have asked more questions at his yearly well-child appointments. But I let everything slide. Denial is an amazing thing when you’re too busy to focus on the small things.
“I didn’t know that, buddy,” I murmur before knocking on Sienna’s door. “Sienna! Downstairs for breakfast, now, please!”
The door swings open as my oldest child sighs dramatically. “God, Dad. I heard you just fine. Jeez.”
I take a deep, cleansing breath as I whisper up a prayer for patience while we slowly walk downstairs and into the kitchen.
“Good morning to three of my favorite Santos!” Kate says cheerfully as she skips into the kitchen. Subtlety isn’t Kate’s strong-suit.
“Don’t you mean four?” Sienna giggles.
Kate’s eyes catch mine. “Nope.”
Nice. “I need to head into the office a little early this morning. Are you good?”
“Me?” Kate asks innocently, but I see the almost imperceptible narrowing of her eyes as she glares at me.
“Yes, you. The one currently glaring at me.”
“Oh, wow, you are glaring at Daddy!” Sienna says in an awestruck voice. “No one ever glares at him. Everyone is scared of him. ‘Xcept you.”
“I’m definitely not scared of your Daddy,” Kate says, still giving me the evil eye.
“Can you teach me how to glare like that?” Sienna asks.
“Sure! It’s super easy. All you need to do is —” Kate starts, but I throw up a hand to stop her.
“That’s enough rebellion at seven in the morning, I think.”
“Afraid I’ll teach them to rise up in an insurrection against the nasty dictator?” Kate asks mischievously.
“I wanna insurrection!” Carter shouts.
“You don’t even know what that means,” Sienna says snottily.
“What’s a dictator?” Aspen asks.
“Your daddy,” Kate says at the same time as I reply, “not me.”
I sigh, rubbing my eyes in irritation. Grabbing my keys and wallet, I kiss all three kids goodbye, before stopping behind Kate. It’s minuscule, but I see a shiver dance up her spine as I lean in to whisper in her ear. “I better not come home to a coup.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they stage the coup for midnight,” she responds breathlessly.
As I walk out to my car, I set a mental note to lock my bedroom door tonight, and put a chair under the doorknob as a good measure. With Kate, all things are possible, and I should probably expect some kind of drama at midnight.
After an incredibly long day, I send the kids to play in their rooms while I enjoy a beer in my back yard. One of the reasons I bought this house was for the yard. Colorado isn’t known for having spacious lots with tons of trees, but this lot has a canopy along the property lines. It was a lovely spring day today, and the trees are only beginning to bud. April is a smorgasbord of weather, and I give thanks for warm days instead of blizzards whenever I can.
Along the side of my house, I have a hidden area that is surrounded by blue spruce trees. I’ve installed paving stones and set up a small table and two chairs. I escape here when I need a moment to unwind. Resting my head against the back of the chair, I close my eyes and breathe.
Five minutes after I sit down, I hear footsteps coming toward me, and I grind my teeth in exasperation. My kids know not to come out here unless something is really important, so this better be good.
“What?” I snap.
“Oh!” Kate shrieks. My eyes pop open to find Kate wrapped in a blanket, holding a mug, and looking delightfully disheveled. No makeup, hair haphazardly thrown into a bun, and I have to remind myself she’s my employee.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Katharine. I assumed you were one of the kids,” I confess.
“That’s how you talk to them when I’m not around?” she asks, frowning.
“No, not at all. It’s been a very long day, and I told them to give me thirty minutes out here. It’s only been about five, and I assumed someone was coming to tattle on someone else.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize you used this spot. I’ll come back when you’re done,” she says hastily, turning to walk back around the house.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t get out here as much as I’d like. This is my little sanctuary away from the chaos,” I say, motioning for her to sit in the chair next to mine. Kate carefully sits, and a waft of floral notes hits my senses. God, she smells good. Clearing my throat, I attempt to speak professionally. “Katharine, I apologize how I handled our conversation this morning. I’m glad Sienna has you to talk to.”
Kate looks momentarily blindsided before she shakes herself out of it and sits up straight. “I appreciate the apology, but you were mostly right. I shouldn’t have left you out of the loop. I’m trying to walk the line with her knowing she can come to me, but also not stepping on your toes in the process. But she’s going to have things she’ll want to speak to a woman about, Dominic. If not me, then figure out who you’d like to handle those situations.”
“I’m sure my mom can pinch hit when I need her.”
Kate looks chagrined as she shakes her head. “You know I love your mom, and I love her heart. She is an amazing grandmother to your kids. But children today are dealing with issues that her generation didn’t. Social media, cyber bullying, everyone having phones. Sexting, pictures, and videos. I don’t think your mom will know how to take on those topics. Would you be comfortable if Arianna or Hannah helped out?”
“Jesus Christ, I never thought about that,” I mutter, sitting forward and placing my head in my hands. As my elbows rest on my knees, I close my eyes and think about Kate’s concerns. She’s absolutely right. I hate that my children will have to worry about these things. I can feel my anxiety making my heart rate quicken, and suddenly a warm hand gently touches my bicep.
“You’re a wonderful father, Dominic. They’re lucky to have you. You know that, right?” Her voice is soft and genuine, and I’m taken aback at this new version of Kate. Lifting my head slightly, I peer up at Kate through my lashes, and find her gaze zeroed in on my mouth. Before my traitorous dick can join in with a reaction, I sit back, forcing Kate to remove her hand.
“I know I come off as controlling and argumentative, especially about them. But they’re the most important part of me, Katharine. If something happened to one of them, I’d …” I let my voice trail off, refusing to finish that sentence. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare to think about that.
Kate’s hand covers mine, her fingers fitting perfectly against my palm. Electricity zings up my arm as I stare at the connection. I should pull away, but I can’t. Instead, I find my hand curling around hers and gripping tightly.
“Nothing is going to happen to them, Dominic,” she whispers, scooting to sit back against her chair. I don’t respond, but bask in her presence for as long as she’ll let me.