Chapter 12
K ate
If I thought married life would be different from my normal life, I was weirdly incorrect. Granted, I now have access to medical care and prescriptions I didn’t have before, which is nice. My lovely husband had the sheer audacity to make me a medical appointment with a doctor he had vetted, then seemed surprised when I was totally pissed about it. After refusing to go, Dominic threw his hands up in frustration and stalked out. Needless to say, I contacted Hannah, and she gave me the name of her OBGYN, Dr. Skinner. I really liked her, because she actually listened to me. I hate going to physicians who mansplain things, or, even worse, automatically assume everything happening in a woman’s body is associated with weight or depression. Endometriosis can’t be created out of thin air. It’s fucking chronic, debilitating, and it goddamn sucks.
But life with Dominic and the kids?
Absolutely no different.
Well, it’s a little different. There’s an underlying current of sexual tension that was never present before. And now I know how my boss tastes, which is definitely not something I had on my bingo card for the year. But other than those things, not much different.
I still have all of my part-time jobs, and I have the kids more as they head into summer break. I’m still sleeping in my room in the basement, although I’m not quite sure why I thought that would be different. Dominic still aggravates me every day, and I’m not surprised about that. A fake ring won’t change either of our personalities, and I’m too different from him for us to ever get along well.
Take today, for example.
We’ve been fake married for almost a month, and I have the kids at a free concert in town. Every Friday night in the summer, Eternity Springs brings in local artists to play music for residents in one of the largest city parks. There are typically food trucks, bounce houses, and other fun activities for families. The kids and I have enjoyed every concert so far this summer, but Dominic has had one reason or another why he can’t attend with us.
Tonight, I brought a large blanket to spread out close to the playground equipment so I can relax while simultaneously enjoying the music and watching the kids. As I take a bite of my sandwich, I notice Aspen studying me.
“What?” I ask, my voice muffled by a full mouth. “Do I have something on my face?”
“Why did you bring a sandwich from home?” she asks.
“Oh,” I say nervously, a blush rising on my cheeks. “Food trucks are expensive. I don’t have the money.”
“But Daddy gave you money for our dinner,” she says, her brow furrowed in confusion. This look, complete with the deep groove between her eyebrows, is so quintessentially Dominic that I almost laugh.
“Yes, sweet pea. He gave me money for your dinner. Not mine,” I correct her.
“Would Daddy not want you to eat the same food as us?” she asks.
“I’m not sure. I knew how much he gave me wasn’t going to be enough for all four of us. I’m perfectly happy with a sandwich from home, Aspen.”
Aspen doesn’t look relieved. In fact, she looks even more aggravated … and now her expression is the spitting image of Dominic’s. “If you knew it wouldn’t be enough for all of us, why didn’t you say something to him?”
I shrug. “It’s not a big deal. Like I said, I’m fine with sandwiches.”
Her face screws up in disgust. “That’s because you didn’t have the grilled cheese from that one truck. It was way better than a turkey sandwich.”
She’s not wrong. Arianna bought me one last summer, and I’ve dreamed about it since. “It’s fine. I’m glad you liked yours, though.”
Aspen cocks her head to the side as she stares at my legs. I probably don’t look like a normal nanny for a CEO. Today I’m wearing boyfriend-cut jeans with a handful of large holes cut out, and lavender fishnets underneath. A purple striped tank top is covered by a large boho style kimono, featuring a paisley design. It’s one of my favorite outfits. The fishnets are the only thing I bought new. Everything else is secondhand.
“You’re so different from Daddy,” Aspen says quietly.
I chuckle awkwardly. “I’m well aware of that.”
“What does it mean when someone says you need to loosen up?” she asks suddenly. Wow. Either we’re having conversation whiplash, or she’s overheard someone talking about Dominic’s uptight personality.
“Well, generally it means someone could use some relaxation. They might work too much, or not have extra time to do something for themselves.” I’m treading lightly here. I don’t want her to go back to her father and tattle that I said he’s in dire need of removing the giant stick up his ass.
“I think that’s why you and Daddy work,” she says, jumping up and swiping at the crumbs on her dress. Yes, her dress. Both Aspen and Sienna are in dresses today. At a playground. On a Friday night.
“Uh, what?” I ask.
“You work. Cuz he’s working all the time, and he needs to smile more. You smile all the time. You gotta get him to smile, Katie,” she says happily as she skips over to the playground, waving jovially at someone behind me. It’s really interesting to me that Aspen refuses to call me Kate, and her father is the same way. “Hi, Daddy!”
My breath catches as I whip around to find Dominic standing behind me. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not allowed to join my wife and kids at the park?” he says dryly.
I’ll ignore the way my heart skips a beat every time he calls me his wife. Every single time. “You’ve never made it to one of these before.”
“I’m aware,” he says as he crouches down to join me on the blanket. His eyes cast downward to the remains of my sandwich. “What is that?”
“A sandwich?”
“You knew you wouldn’t like anything from the trucks?” he asks, his bottom lip sticking out as he studies everything on the blanket.
“I brought my own food,” I answer quietly.
“Why?” he asks bluntly. His eyes narrow as he waits for my answer.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, Katharine, it does. Because I’m really hoping I’m wrong in what I assume is the answer here. So, please, enlighten me. Why did you pack your own meal?” Dominic’s voice has lowered as he speaks. If it gets any deeper, he might wake up sleeping animals underground because the whole world will vibrate.
“It’s nothing to concern yourself about,” I say hastily, attempting to clean up the trash the kids left, but Dominic grabs my wrist, effectively stopping me from ignoring him.
“It is my concern. You are my concern. You’re the one who told me that, if you remember.”
I growl in response, and notice a quick tick in Dominic’s lips as he almost smiles. “I didn’t think you’d take that literally. I thought you only meant it from the medical aspect.”
“Don’t try to redirect this,” he snaps, his lips pursing into a thin line as his jaw clenches in annoyance. “Why did you pack your own dinner?”
“Because the food trucks are too expensive!” I exclaim. “I love all of them. All of them. That one that does the lobster rolls? They’re divine. I bet every single one of those grilled cheeses at the other truck are amazing. I’ve only had one, but they’re out of my price range. I refuse to spend money on those things when every damn cent needs to be saved.”
“I gave you money,” he states, shock evident on his face. “Was it not enough?”
I hesitate before shaking my head. “They always want ice cream, and I knew it wouldn’t be enough …”
Dominic swears under his breath. “Why didn’t you tell me that? Christ, Katharine. How long have you been doing this? Trying to cover your own expenses when I thought I’d sent enough money for you to enjoy yourself, too?”
“You — you always send money for me?” I whisper.
“Of course I do. Did you really think I’d expect you to pay your own way when you’re with my children?”
“This is just a business arrangement,” I stammer. I’m grasping at straws. I know this. But I’m scared shitless to let my relationship with Dominic evolve out of the box I’ve put it in. Maybe before, I’d have had no problem asking Dominic for extra money. But now … I don’t know how to approach him for anything.
“I’m not heartless, Katharine. I will never expect that while you’re with my kids. It’s disappointing that you think so lowly of me,” he says quietly, before leaning over and quickly kissing my cheek, ghosting his lips over my skin. “People are watching.”
“I don’t know why you bother. Everyone knows this is just for show,” I whisper. I hate that my stomach flipped when he leaned in.
“Not everyone,” he murmurs. When he catches my eyes, he subtly tilts his head toward the stage, and I look out of the corner of my eye to see his ex-wife, Savannah, glaring at us. When Savannah first came to town, she looked haggard. She approached me at the grocery and befriended me. Her hair was in dire need of updated highlights, and her clothes had seen better days. I’m not sure if she’s taking better care of herself, or if she’s gotten someone to help pay her way. Before I can ask Dominic his opinion, he leans in and kisses my lips incredibly quickly, shutting off my ability to think coherently. He just kissed me. Twice. In public. “Close your mouth, Katharine. That was barely even a kiss.”
“Okay,” I murmur.
“Not that I’m a vindictive person by nature, but I’m enjoying pissing her off.” He gives me a grin that looks incredibly vindictive, and it’s ridiculously sexy. Dammit. I really have to stop thinking about him this way.
I can’t help but chuckle. “She really is taking this poorly, isn’t she?”
“She showed up at the hotel yesterday,” he tells me, laughing at the memory, but my spine stiffens. Seriously? She knows he’s married, and she still showed up there?
“Oh? What did she say?” I ask, straining to keep my voice even. Dominic laughs again as he runs his hand through his hair. He’s dressed casually, which meant he went home to change before coming here. Dominic is most comfortable in a suit. There’s an aura, an energy, when he’s in his suits. No matter where he is, he’ll become the most powerful man in the room. But right now, in a t-shirt and jeans, he’s comfortable and calm. It’s refreshing. It’s a very attractive look I don’t get to see too often on him.
“She came with the guise of talking about the kids,” he says, “but then suggested we enjoy each other’s company a different way.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not,” he says with a laugh, shaking his head as he smiles. “Took me a minute to realize what she was suggesting.”
“Did you, uh, take her up on her offer?” I ask, regretting the question as soon as the words leave my mouth. It’s embarrassing to feel the need to ask the question, but it’s even worse to care what his answer will be. But worst of all, it’s humiliating to know I have absolutely no right to ask my fake husband to keep his dick out of his ex-wife’s snatch.
When his gaze snaps to mine, I’m momentarily shocked at the intensity in his brown eyes. He looks genuinely angry. Furious even. “It’s appalling that you even have to ask that, Katharine.”
I throw up my hands defensively. “Well, you could want it with her. It’s not like you’re getting any from me, so she’d be the next logical solution, I guess.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “I don’t know what marriage means to you, Katharine, but I’m not a cheater. Vows mean something, regardless of the reason we said them. I promised to be faithful to you. Faithful, Katharine. That doesn’t mean I enjoy an afternoon delight from my ex-wife. The fact that you’re suggesting I cheat on you with her, when you know how many times she cheated on me? How many times she lied to me? You don’t really know me at all.”
“I didn’t —” I stammer, “I didn’t know that she cheated on you, actually. We’ve never talked about it, and no one has ever said anything. I swear I didn’t know.”
Dominic stands, looking down on me. He shakes his head again, then walks away. It never occurred to me that he’d take my question that way, or that he’d be so passionate in his response. I’m also confused about what he thinks I know about their relationship. Jumping up, I chase after him.
“Dominic!” I call out, catching him as he reaches the parking lot. “I don’t think — I mean, I don’t know anything about what happened with you and her. You’ve never told me much. Just that she left. That’s it. Arianna said she’s not a nice person.”
“No, she’s not. She’s awful. I’m more concerned with how you must view me. You know Savannah isn’t a nice person, but you thought I’d fuck her. What does that say about you and me?” he asks pointedly. His eyes flash with pain and annoyance. I look to where Savannah had been standing, and let out a relieved breath when I don’t see her anymore .
I feel the blood drain from my face as his words hit home. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s different for men. Since ours is a business arrangement, I thought you’d possibly entertain the offer.”
“Stop calling our marriage a business arrangement,” Dominic sighs, tilting his head up. The sun has set behind the mountains, but rays of sunlight dance across the tops of the cumulus clouds still dotting the sky. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”
“Me either,” I whisper. I continue to call it that because I refuse to let myself think otherwise. Thinking of Dominic as anything other than my fake husband, or my boss, is a slippery slope. If I think of him as more, it’s a dangerous place in my mind. I’m not the kind of woman Dominic goes for. He’s controlled. Respectable. He’s whiskey on the rocks, while I’m sex on the beach, or a fuzzy navel. He wears suits, while I wear fishnets and ballet flats. Am I … am I wearing two different black shoes? For the love of God. I am. As the self-proclaimed queen of the hot mess mobile, I’m really staying on brand here.
“Who the hell asks their husband if they fucked their ex-wife that afternoon? This is absurd,” he murmurs. When his gaze meets mine, the emotion I could see before has vanished. In its place, the standard Dominic glare has taken over. “That’s the difference between you and me, Katharine. You see everything through rose-colored glasses. Oh, you could have banged your ex today? Why didn’t you? Should have enjoyed it.”
“That’s not how I said it,” I hiss. “This is bullshit, Dominic. We had an agreement. This isn’t a marriage. If you wanted to fuck her, I’d have no say in it. It’s none of my business what you do in your private life, is it?”
Dominic’s eyes narrow as he takes a step toward me, and I automatically retreat. When my back hits a car behind me, he steps into my space, his body against mine. “The difference is you asked if I fucked her.”
“So?”
“If you suggested an ex-boyfriend propositioned you? If you told me an ex even spoke to you? I’d stop at nothing until I destroyed him.”
“What?” I gasp. I feel his hot breath against my lips, so close I can almost taste him. I desperately want to slide my hands up his shirt. I want to feel the harsh line of his jaw and run my fingers through his hair. My hands shake with need as I fight my own heart.
“I. Would. Destroy. Him.” Dominic growls. “You may think this is just a business arrangement, but there are still parameters in place. Do not disrespect me in public, Katharine. You are my wife. Mine . Now fucking act like it.”
“I’m sorry, I —” I stop. “Wait a second! How the hell am I now apologizing for this? I didn’t do anything!”
His glare sends a shiver up my spine. “You accused me of cheating.”
“I did not!” I am seething.
“Semantics.” Dominic cocks an eyebrow at me, daring me to give a rebuttal, but I’m silent. How am I supposed to argue with him when he’s upset about a hypothetical situation? No ex-boyfriend has approached me. If I’m being honest, I haven’t dated anyone seriously since … well, never. My focus was my mom, and then my focus became survival. I scratched an itch when I wanted to, but never found anyone that seemed worthy of giving up the precious free time I had.
Until Dominic.
I growl at myself, angry at my heart for suggesting anything with him.
Shaking his head, he scoffs, a miserable sound that hits my heart. It’s the sound of disappointment. Hurt. Betrayal. I know I should say something, but I can’t make the words come out. I’ve angered him a ton. Frustration? Absolutely. Maybe disappointment a time or two. But knowing I’ve hurt him is something I can’t fathom. Is he angry because I’m faux-wearing the Santo name, which reflects on him, or is he feeling truly betrayed because I hurt him?
As he strides further into the parking lot, I’m acutely aware of a few things. Dominic has an amazing ass. And when he calls me his wife, I feel like I could dissolve into a puddle of wanton need. But when he suggests I act like his wife? That makes me realize something detrimental to our agreement.
I discover that I want — no, crave — my husband, and I’m severely fucked.
I shake off that last thought as I jog back toward the playground to find my three favorite Santos’.