WELCOME HOME
ADDISON
T he flight from the closest city to the Sugar Mountain airport, if you could even call it that, had taken all of twenty minutes. The tiny plane had rocked back and forth in the turbulent air, and there were honestly times when I’d thought we might fall right out of the sky. So, when the wheels touched down on the single landing strip, I breathed out a sigh of relief and glanced at my sister’s arm, which I had been holding so tightly that it was turning white.
“I think you cut off my circulation.” She started shaking her arm to get the blood flow back.
“Sorry. I’m a nervous flyer sometimes,” I apologized.
“I noticed,” she said before glancing out of the small window. “This is it, huh?”
“Do you not remember it?”
She shook her head at me. “Not really.”
“I guess you wouldn’t,” I said, my tone sort of sad.
I wondered if Sarina would appreciate Sugar Mountain the same way that I did, but one look at her told me that there was no way. She was a Manhattan girl now, through and through. Even her makeup screamed that she was from a different life from the one we lived here. It was loud, too perfect, and looked expensive.
We took the flight stairs out of the plane and headed toward our luggage that sat on the small carrier, where it was being unloaded. Sarina’s designer suitcase stood out from all the others. I grabbed my little, beat-up carry-on that I’d brought as she lugged at hers, clearly struggling to remove it.
“Why’d you bring so much stuff?” I asked my little sister as I compared the size differences between our things.
“It’s the jackets and sweaters. They take up a lot of space,” she explained, and I nodded my head in understanding.
I hadn’t packed any of that stuff for that reason exactly. And I knew that half of my clothes were still sitting in my closet at home, waiting for me, so there was no reason for me to overpack.
When I shielded my eyes with my hand to block out the blinding sun, I almost stopped dead in my tracks.
“Please tell me every guy in this town looks like that one.” Sarina pointed to the exact place I was currently staring.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came.
I’d told him not to come. I’d told him we arranged a ride already. I should have known that he wouldn’t listen.
“Hello?” Sarina waved a hand in front of my face. “Earth to Addison.”
“Patrick,” I breathed out, and Sarina whistled.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Let’s go meet this prince of yours,” she said as she started hustling toward him, her suitcase rolling easily behind her as mine wobbled, clearly on its last legs.
“Wait,” I shouted, but only a breathless whisper came out.
Sarina was already steps ahead of me, walking faster than I’d ever seen, heading toward the only boy I’d ever loved.
He looked so beautiful. Even from a distance, I could see that his dark hair was longer, and his face was filled with scruff that I didn’t recognize, but wanted to familiarize myself with. I imagined running my fingers across it just to feel the prick and burn. I’d always thought that Patrick was a man when I left town, but I’d been wrong. He was all man now. And handsome as hell.
When I neared, I heard Sarina chatting his ear off, and Patrick had a smirk on his face that told me she amused him. The second he saw me, he stepped away from my sister, who was still talking, and moved toward me like there was a rope pulling him. Before I could take another breath, I was in his arms, collapsing into his chest as he held me and kissed the top of my head.
It had been too long since I’d been here.
Too long since I’d been touched by him.
And even longer since I’d breathed in his scent.
My senses were overwhelmed by all the things that made up Patrick O’Grady. I thought I might short-circuit.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, his words hot against my scalp.
I hadn’t expected any of this. Him here, picking us up. Him eliminating the space between us like I hadn’t been gone for almost four years. Him confessing feelings within seconds of seeing me.
But if he had acted any other way, it would have been just that… an act . I would have seen through it and known he was only doing it out of self-preservation, which I would have understood, but still hated—even if I deserved it.
“I thought I told you we had a ride,” I tried to joke, but it came out flimsy as he pulled away, his blue eyes piercing into mine.
Those eyes could bring any woman to her knees. I was surprised mine still held me up.
“You had to know I’d come,” was all he said in response.
I wasn’t sure what I’d thought would happen, but he was right; I should have known. Things between Patrick and me had always been this way. We’d never been cruel, or mean, or intentionally unkind to one another. Had we hurt each other since I’d been gone? Yes. But it was only because we loved each other so much that the simple act of not being together was pain in and of itself.
Sarina cleared her throat, and for a moment, I’d forgotten that anyone else in the world even existed.
“I see you met my sister.” I smiled as Patrick grinned.
“I did.” He bumped her with his shoulder like they were old friends instead of strangers only meeting for the first time.
“You love me—admit it.” Sarina blinked up at him, clearly mesmerized by him already. It had taken her less than a minute.
“Can’t do that, New York. Only loved one girl my whole life, and we’re both looking at her,” he said, and I swore I heard Sarina squeal.
My vision blurred as he stared at me, his eyes saying all the things that his mouth hadn’t yet.
“No wonder she can’t get over you,” Sarina said, outing me within minutes of us being in Patrick’s presence. I swatted her shoulder, and she winced. “Hey.”
“It’s only fair, love,” Patrick said, using one of the nicknames he used to call me. “It’s not like I’m getting over you either.”
Sarina blew out a sound. “Please tell me you have a brother. I mean, I know you do, but do you have a single one?”
Patrick gave her a half grin, and I tried to stop him from answering, my hand reaching to cover his mouth playfully, but he easily pulled it away and answered, “I do. Matthew.”
“Does he look like you?” she asked, and my jaw dropped open slightly at what she meant by that.
“That’s what they say,” Patrick responded with a shrug.
“All the O’Grady brothers look alike. It’s a blessing and a curse,” I admitted.
Patrick took a step toward me, his body sucking all the oxygen out of the atmosphere and holding me hostage.
“But I’m the handsomest, right?”
Sarina laughed. “I’ll be the judge of that. Where can I find this Matthew?”
“Oh my God, Sarina.” I made a face that begged her to stop.
If she hooked up with Matthew, I’d never hear the end of it, and I wasn’t sure that we could both be under an O’Grady man’s spell. We’d never recover.
Patrick shot me a look before shrugging. “Probably at the saloon.”
That answer surprised me. “The saloon? Really? Why?”
The Sugar Saloon was the only bar in town, so it made sense that Matthew would hang out there if he wanted to drink and hook up, but Matthew had never been much of a drinker. He was always in training, trying to stay in the best shape possible. But now that his NHL career was over, maybe he’d turned into a lush. I guessed I wouldn’t know.
“Bella works there,” was all Patrick said.
I smacked him on the arm like old times and grabbed my stomach as I started to laugh.
“I told you!” I straightened back up and pointed in his direction. “I knew he liked her.”
There had always been something between Matthew and Bella, even when we were younger. That girl idolized him, and Matthew pretended she didn’t exist half the time, but I never bought into it. Because whenever Matthew had thought no one was watching him, he was always watching her.
“She was fifteen when he left to play hockey!” Patrick argued, but I wasn’t hearing it.
“Which was why he never hooked up with her!” I fought back. “I bet she isn’t fifteen anymore, is she?”
Patrick made a face. “She’s definitely not.”
His answer made a pang of jealousy kick through me. I had no right, but it was there anyway. I imagined that Bella had morphed into a stunner that turned all the guys’ heads, Patrick’s included.
Sarina ping-ponged back and forth as she watched us banter. “Great. Don’t you O’Grady boys know that you’re allowed to love more than one girl in your life? Or do you all get hung up on one and call it quits?”
Patrick’s eyes heated as they met mine and held on for dear life. That look pulled all the air out of my lungs, and I was pretty sure I held my breath while I waited for his answer.
“One for me.”
His words pierced holes in my heart.
I struggled to… well, do anything.
“How’s Dad?” I asked, and we started walking toward the tiny parking lot.
Change of subject accepted.
“Stubborn as ever. I should probably get you over there before he figures out a way to hobble down here himself.”
I spotted Patrick’s truck. It held so many memories of us.
“You still have this?” I asked as Sarina made an unimpressed face.
She’d probably never even seen a truck like this driving down the busy streets of Manhattan.
“Is it safe?” she asked as he took our bags, tossed them in the bed, and went to work on securing them with some bungee cords and rope.
“It’s safe, New York. You’ll be fine. Get in.” He opened the passenger door and held it as I slid in first, not allowing my sister to be the one next to him on the bench seat.
It had always been mine.
“Is this nail polish?”
I watched as Sarina leaned toward the glove compartment and tried to scrape at the stain with her nail.
Patrick hopped in at the same time and saw what she was doing. “Don’t. Leave it be,” he demanded, and she stopped picking at it to look at us.
“Is it yours?” she asked me.
I nodded with a lump in my throat, my head dizzy from all the memories currently slamming into me.
He hadn’t tried to erase me.
“She was always painting her toes on the dash,” Patrick said, and I huffed.
“One time,” I said, holding up a single finger. “I did it one time.”
“And look what happened.” He waved his hand toward the stain.
The truck grumbled to life, shaking the three of us as the heater kicked on. Patrick’s leg brushed against mine, and we sat there, touching the way we always used to. I could have shifted my body away from his, but something wouldn’t let me. I liked the connection between us. I’d longed for it more than I ever realized since being away.
“I swear, Patrick, if you kill us in this thing—” Sarina started to complain, her eyes wide.
Patrick laughed. “You’ll what? What will you do? Post about it online?” he mocked, and she made a face.
“Hey. I’ll have you know that I make a lot of money posting online.” She crossed her arms across her chest and started to pout.
“I bet you do. It suits you,” he said, and she relaxed.
“Thanks. I’m not sure if you’re teasing me or not, but I really do love it.”
He let out a sound that was half amused and half bewildered. “I wasn’t teasing. It does suit you.”
“I’m nervous,” Sarina suddenly blurted out, and I turned to stare at her.
“About what?” I asked.
Her head swung in my direction, and her glossy eyes met mine. “I haven’t seen our dad in ages. What if he hates me?”
“Why would he hate you?” I asked at the same time Patrick said, “He could never hate you.”
“Do you think he’s mad that I never came back here?” My little sister looked so uncomfortable that I thought she might be sick.
I put my hand on her leg and leaned my head on her shoulder. “He would never blame you for that. I know you don’t know him the way you know our mother, but they couldn’t be more different.”
I saw Patrick’s head swivel to look at me out of the corner of my eye before he focused back on the road ahead.
“Really?” he asked, and I noticed the surprise in his tone.
“Oh, yeah. They’re like night and day. No. Whatever is even more opposite than that. Honestly, I can’t even imagine them together. They don’t have anything in common,” I said, and I suddenly wasn’t sure if I was helping Sarina or making things worse for her.
“We’re almost there,” Patrick said, and I felt Sarina tense. “Your dad is a giant teddy bear, New York. Looks scary as hell with all those muscles, but he’s a big softy.”
“Dad has muscles?” Sarina perked up with a slight grin on her face.
“You have no idea,” I said with a laugh right as Patrick turned onto our road.
He pulled into the driveway, and my eyes started to mist over already.
I’m home.
A dog came running toward us before Patrick even shut off the engine and put the car in park.
Patrick opened his door, hopped down and patted the dog’s head. “Hey, buddy. One sec.”
“Whose dog is that?” I wondered, hating how much things had changed since I’d been away. Had my dad gotten a dog? Even the smallest changes felt huge.
“He’s mine. His name’s Jasper,” Patrick said, and I wanted to cry.
He’d gotten a dog. Without me.
It was silly. Stupid even. And there was no reason for my over-the-top emotions about it all, but I suddenly felt so left out. I’d done it to myself. What had I expected? For time to stop moving the second I left?
We all got out, and Patrick started undoing our bags from the back before pulling them out.
“My girls,” my dad’s voice boomed as he hopped outside with crutches underneath his arms.
“Dad,” I said, running to him without a second thought.
I collided into him, almost knocking him off-balance as I hugged him. I’d missed him so much.
His dark curls were filled with gray, but the salt-and-pepper suited him.
“I like the gray,” I teased, and he made a face.
“Calling me old, sweetheart?” he asked, the lines around his eyes even deeper than they had been before I moved.
Time stopped for no one. Not even me, apparently.
“Never.”
It was funny, the way I’d compartmentalized everything about Sugar Mountain, my dad and Patrick included, acting like I was okay without them because I was busy and focused on school and work.
But the second I’d stepped foot back here, it was like opening up a vault that had been sealed shut and watching all the contents spill out, with no way to contain them again. There was no way I’d be able to go back to pretending after this.
Sarina cleared her throat, and I removed myself from our dad’s arms to give them a minute. Sarina’s eyes were already watering, and when I looked up at my dad, I noticed his were too. That was when I realized the similarities between them. I always thought Sarina looked more like our mother, but seeing her with our dad, I started second-guessing myself.
My dad wiped at his falling tears before he sucked in a quick breath and straightened his broad shoulders. “I missed you both so much. Sarina, you’re so grown up.”
When they walked into the house together, I turned around to find Patrick watching me, his dog at his side. Taking a few steps toward him, I trembled in his presence, but played it off that it was because of the cold and not his nearness.
“Thank you for picking us up. And for taking care of him.” I nodded in the direction of where my dad had stood.
“I’d do anything for you,” Patrick said so easily, like nothing between us had changed.
I didn’t respond as we walked in silence to where his truck was parked.
He opened the door for Jasper to hop inside. “Maybe I’ll see you before you head back?”
I’d literally just gotten into town, and he was already bringing up the fact that I had to leave again.
“I’d like that,” I admitted, knowing that I was giving us both hope that I really had no business giving. Not when Frederique’s offer was still hanging over my head and I had a huge decision to make.
“Then, I’ll see you soon, Addi,” he said with a wink that had always made me melt.
Apparently, it still did because I launched myself at him without warning, wrapping my arms around his middle, and he held me tighter than I’d anticipated. I refused to breathe as I tried to burrow myself deeper into him. His chest shook as he laughed.
“Trying to burrow, little one?” he teased.
I wiggled against him even harder, just like I used to always do. His six-foot frame was easy for me to get lost in, and I was always trying to get closer, like I’d become a part of him if physics allowed it.
“Burrow all you want, love. I’ll let you,” he said before kissing the top of my head, his hands running down my hair.
Everything had always been so effortless between us. How did it still feel that way after all this time?
I wanted to look up at him, but knew that I’d see all the desire pooling in his eyes, and there would be no way that I’d be able to resist kissing him then. And kissing Patrick would definitely lead to our clothes on the ground and both of us naked before we could stop ourselves. At least in my current fantasy it did.
I had memorized Patrick’s younger body. But being held by him now—with all the added definition, the wider shoulders, and thicker arm muscles—I realized he was a whole new man that my hands ached to touch and never stop. I wanted to know what it felt like to be touched by this new version of him.
We broke apart slowly. Patrick’s fingers reached for my chin and tipped my face upward, forcing me to meet those baby blues, and my stomach dropped.
“Call me soon, or I’ll come find you.” His tone was all aggressive and confident.
It was a warning.
I loved it.
There would be no avoiding Patrick while I was here. No getting away unscathed or pretending like seeing him hadn’t just rattled my well-placed cage right off its hinges.
I gave him a weak nod of my head as he got into his truck, his dog sitting in the place that used to be mine. He started his engine and shot me a look that screamed how much he still wanted me. I wondered what my face told him in response. The cocky grin that he drove off with told me all I needed to know.
I still craved every inch of him, and he damn well knew it.