LET HER GO
PATRICK
W hen Addi left again, I thought I might fucking die. Like my heart might simply stop beating and I would have understood completely. My chest ached so deeply. It was different from the first time she’d left. My love for that woman was a part of me. I didn’t know how to remove it. Didn’t want to either.
I knew exactly when her flight was leaving, and even though she never spotted me at the airport, I was there. Watching her go. She looked around multiple times, like she was hoping to see me, but I never stepped out of the cover I was under. Couldn’t let her see me standing there if she wasn’t ever coming back.
It was pure misery. Self-induced but necessary. It was as if I needed to watch her get on that plane with my own two eyes; otherwise, I wouldn’t have believed it.
She’d seen the home I’d built us.
We’d made love in the bed I’d bought for us.
She’d seen exactly what our life could look like together.
And she still fucking walked away from it all.
Again.
My phone pinged, and my heart soared for a second with the sound. Maybe Addi was sending me a message from inside the plane, letting me know she missed me, or that she loved me, or any-damn-thing. But when I looked down and saw that it was a message from Thomas, I felt nothing but sadness. He’d been blowing me up ever since he had seen Addi at my house the other day. Said Clara wouldn’t stop talking about her.
All it had taken was one brief visit, and she was intertwined in our lives like she’d never left it in the first place. If they were struggling to move on without her, imagine how I felt.
So, I stood there, watching the love of my life step onto a plane. And I stayed until it took off into the air and disappeared out of sight, taking my heart with it. I’d been living without one for almost four years now anyway. Guessed I’d be living without it for a lot longer than that.