2. Two
Two
Tessa
Present Day (Approximately one month later)
J ake’s booming laugh immediately draws my attention when I step back into the main room of the bar, and I turn toward the sound just in time to see him flash his million-dollar smile at Megan.
And while the way his whole face lights up with genuine delight does warm my heart, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever find myself on the receiving end of it again.
When Megan asked me to meet her for drinks earlier, I’d practically jumped at the chance to get out of my parent’s house.
My mother has been surprisingly chipper since starting her treatment, doing her best to keep a positive attitude, both for the sake of her own state of mind as well as for mine and my dad’s, and I love her dearly for it.
But despite her best efforts to make this taxing time as easy as possible for everyone involved, I’d found myself in desperate need of a break.
Watching her put on a good front and pretending everything is fine when I’m secretly scared shitless and barely hanging on is draining, to say the least. So, when Megan told me about the open mic night at the saloon, I all but fell over my own two feet in my haste to get here.
I’m just returning from the ladies’ room, ready to join Megan and find a table that offers a good view of the stage area, when Jake peels himself away from the group he’s with and approaches my friend.
He hasn’t seen me yet—hence the friendly and unguarded expression—and I make my way through the crowd slowly, taking this rare opportunity to observe him in his natural state.
Megan returns his smile and steps into him for a brief hug.
“Did Carter finally give you a night off?” he asks, drawing back to look her over.
“You know how it is,” she replies with a mock roll of the eye. “If he doesn’t let me loose at least once a month, my husband doesn’t deem me safe to be around.”
Jake chuckles deeply and slings an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side while he takes a lazy pull from his bottle.
It’s obvious by the ease with which they interact that these two have grown quite close, and I’m genuinely glad to see it.
I know they liked and respected each other throughout our high school years, but Megan has always been my friend first and then Carter’s girl, so her and Jake never felt the need to form a deeper connection back then.
Seeing them so comfortable around each other now makes me realize just how much I’ve missed during my time away.
Jake brings his lips to the shell of Megan’s ear, whispering something that makes her bark out a loud laugh, and that’s when he spots me.
His jovial expression falls in an instant and the air suddenly seems to crackle with tension.
“Teresa,” he clips, tipping his chin in greeting.
“Jake,” I reply, offering him a warm smile, hoping this chance encounter will at least result in a round of friendly small talk this time. Baby steps. “Are you here with someone, or would you like to join us for a drink?”
Jake glances at Megan before he shakes his head with feigned regret.
“Nah, I’m good. I’m here with the guys. Just came over to say hi to this little spitfire. I better get back, though, before these bozos max out my credit card.”
“You know, one of these days you’re going to have to talk to me. You can’t avoid me forever. ”
He mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, “I can try,” before his gaze darts to the bar, like simply being in my general vicinity makes him uncomfortable.
“Jake, please. For old times’ sake. Can’t we at least try to put the past behind us?” Jake squints his eyes at me, jaw ticking with irritation.
“Well, we all know you’re a pro at leaving the past in your rearview, Teresa.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for some of us.
I gotta go,” he tags on for my friend’s sake, giving her a final squeeze before he releases his hold on her.
“It’s nice seeing you out and about, Megan.
You girls have yourselves a nice evening, yeah?
” Before I have a chance to say more, he’s already turned away, his long gait eating up the distance as he rejoins his friends.
Megan flashes me an empathetic smile and leads us to an empty booth across the dance floor. We take a seat, and I immediately reach for the cocktail menu, stoically surveying my options and pretending the big purple elephant in the room doesn’t exist.
“He’ll never forgive me for leaving, will he?” I blurt out when the ensuing silence becomes too much to bear. Megan’s answering sigh is heavy as she lowers the menu and meets my sorrowful expression.
“Give him time, Tessa. Getting over you wasn’t easy for him. He just needs to get used to having you around again. ”
“I’ve been back for over a month. We’ve run into each other several times since, and each one of those times he’s given me the cold shoulder.
I didn’t expect him to welcome me back with open arms, but it’s not like I’m the only one who’s made mistakes.
I kind of hoped he’d meet me halfway. That we’d be able to act like reasonable adults and not bite each other’s heads off whenever we’re in the same room together.
I mean, come on. We’re not in high school anymore, for God’s sake. ”
Megan’s lips press into a thin line, giving me the distinct feeling she doesn’t share my opinions.
I can’t bring myself to care. I’m tired of being treated like an outcast, and my frustration with the situation, as well as the man himself, is getting harder and harder to ignore.
I can’t blame Jake for holding a grudge.
He has every right to be angry with me. I robbed us of the chance to get closure, and I know I should’ve at least tried to make amends before I left for college.
But I never meant to stay away this long.
There are reasons that led me to keep my distance all this time.
Things I haven’t told a soul about. Things not even my parents are privy to, and when they called to inform me of my mother’s illness, my priorities shifted.
I did some serious soul-searching following that fateful call, and I realized that it’s past time I’d put an end to this ridiculous charade.
Not confiding in Megan over the years has been incredibly difficult, and the need to clear the air is almost unbearable. And yet, I hold back.
“Look, Tessa. We’ve been friends for years, and I love you like a sister.
You took me under your wing when I first moved to town.
You introduced me to our boys and made sure I never felt like the odd one out.
I’ll forever be grateful for the way you welcomed me into your group, but if you’re hoping I’ll take your side on this, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. ”
I try not to take it to heart. I’m well aware we’re not as close as we once were, and that’s one hundred percent on me. I should’ve made more of an effort to stay in touch, and even though I understand Jake’s been a big part of her life these past few years, her words still sting.
“No, listen to me for a minute,” she urges when she notices my crestfallen expression.
Reaching for my hand, she waits for me to meet her eyes before saying, “We were thick as thieves after we met, and I’ll always treasure those memories.
You were the most amazing friend a girl like me could’ve wished for.
But then I got pregnant, and you left for college, and even though we talked on the phone, you weren’t here to see the aftermath of your choices.
You didn’t see what it did to him,” she elaborates, glancing at the bar area.
“He struggled so much after you left. He lost himself, Tessa, and it broke my heart to witness it. I understand why you needed to put some distance between you initially. You needed space to work through the clusterfuck of a situation you guys found yourselves in. I get it. But once you’d had some time to reflect, you should’ve given yourselves another chance to work things out.
You owed him that much after years of friendship and everything you’ve been through together.
Hell, you owed it to me and my family to visit more and you sure as shit owed it to your parents. ”
I cringe, making it obvious she’s hit a nerve.
I hold a lot of guilt over the way I handled things after our falling out.
My incessant need to avoid confrontation had not only affected my relationship with the boy I once loved but the others as well.
Not being able to come home whenever I felt homesick, rarely ever experiencing my mother’s warm hugs or my girl talks with Megan just about killed me. But I couldn’t risk running into him.
Yes, I had my reasons, but in light of my mom’s cancer diagnosis the hurdles that once seemed so impossible to overcome just seem silly and insignificant now.
“I’m sorry, Megan. I know I’ve been a shitty friend.
I missed so much. The birth of your children.
Your wedding. Even though I do have a decent excuse for that one.
Trust me, I’d much rather have watched you walk down the aisle than writhe in agony in an overcrowded E.R.
Ending up in the hospital with acute appendicitis is not something I’d recommend.
” Megan cracks a smile, and I feel the tension in my shoulders ease.
“Countless times I wished I could turn back time and do things differently. But you have to trust me when I say I did what I thought was best for everyone involved at the time.”