Epilogue
December 2025
Life wasn’t exactly like Noah wanted it to be—calm and drama-free—but it was fine. Not everything had to be perfect or go as planned. And honestly, at this point, if he had Kaj, he didn’t care about anything else.
There was still a dark cloud looming over his head, expectant that Jesper would open his big fucking mouth at any moment in a pathetic attempt to gain someone’s sympathy while he waited to be judged.
Xander had sworn he wouldn’t say a thing, that Noah beating the shit out of him had scared him enough. According to Aksel, the bassist’s death glare while tending to Jesper’s wounds, making sure they didn’t get infected so they wouldn’t end up with a corpse on their hands, probably had something to do with it, too. Still, Noah couldn’t shrug off the uneasiness.
Like Niels had pointed out, Noah hadn’t been defending himself from an attack, and he didn’t just hit him. He had nearly killed him. Did he regret it? Not even a little. In fact, he’d do it all over again. But, however low the chances were, if Jesper played his cards right, despite his own criminal record, Noah could face serious charges—assault, maybe even attempted murder. He’d acted on an impulse, on pure, justified fury, but an aggression was an aggression. And that was troublesome.
At least that monster wasn’t freely roaming the streets anymore. The evidence against him was too gruesome to ignore. He’d filmed himself sexually abusing not only Kaj but two more people, including one of his old roommates that they’d met years ago, and kept it all in a laptop he’d hidden in a storage unit. So smart, yet so fucking dumb .
He deserved far worse than the ten to twenty years a lawyer had told them Jesper could get. The harassment and threats he’d thrown at Noah had been mentally exhausting, but that was nothing compared to what he’d done to others. His biggest mistake, though, had been forcing Noah to see it.
He’d tried to be the boyfriend Kaj needed. The kind that could weather the worst and stand firm through it all. Kaj thought so highly of Noah, the vocalist wanted to give himself entirely to him. Heart. Mind. Soul. He wanted to show Kaj that none of what happened to him had diminished his worth. That he was there to hug him in his nightmares, fight him when his cravings got too strong, and worship him like the magnificent creature he was.
Because, god! Kaj was stunning.
That pouty mouth. Those pale blue eyes. The messy bleached hair. The almost permanent frown—when he was upset, when he was concentrated, when he was blankly staring into space. The piercings. The tattoos. The ridiculous deep voice. The fucking attitude. Every inch of him was so heartbreakingly beautiful, Noah sometimes wished Kaj could see himself through his eyes.
Like right now.
They were sitting in the living room, submerged in a trance-like state as the golden afternoon light seeped through the panoramic glass wall. Kaj had a guitar resting on his lap. All his talent as a kid had grown along with him, turning this man into a music prodigy who could play drums, guitar, and had even learned to play the violin.
He was barefoot, clad in a black long-sleeved T-shirt and his usual homeware sweats as he bent slightly over the instrument. His hair, which had grown quite a bit during the last few months, was falling into his face as he tried to create something from the quiet.
Noah couldn’t take his eyes off him.
Kaj was completely in his element, playing around with melodies and progressions, pausing mid-strum with a thoughtful frown, then picking right back up again like he was chasing a sound only he could hear. Every so often he hummed under his breath, tested out a chord, nodded to himself, then wrote it down in a battered notebook before it disappeared. There were guitar and drum notations along with some scribbled lyric verses.
If Noah ever told him how much of an inspiration he was, he’d deflect with sarcasm or a joke, so he kept quietly admiring him.
For months, that was all he had wanted to do—sit here and stare at him. To heal together. To make up for the lost time. But his world had turned upside down the moment Noah received that video. Every ounce of anxiety and fear for his own safety greyed out, and he only saw red.
No matter what you do, he’ll always be mine.
Fuck . Just thinking about it made him sick to his stomach all over again.
Noah wasn’t a violent person—the martial arts thing was about self-improvement, respect, humility, and resilience for him. He hated conflict. It made his skin crawl. That was half the reason Kaj’s constant taunts and bullshit when he first joined Artificial Suicide had nearly driven him to quit, even though it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and the best shot his family had at stability since Trine’s cancer had come back. So he pushed through. And in the end, it was worth it.
But that day four months ago, Noah locked his common sense in a room and threw the key into the ocean.
There was no plan. Just a surge of instinct and rage. He’d sent everything to the private investigator to have proof of Jesper’s crime, made love to Kaj like it might be the last time, and once he fell asleep, Noah sneaked out of bed .
He’d texted Mads and asked him to come over to look after Kaj. Because as much as it stung that Kaj had trusted him before anyone else to open up about what crippled his heart, Noah couldn’t deny that he was a pillar in Kaj’s life.
Was Noah jealous of their relationship? Depended on the day. Mads was talented, handsome, and kind. He and Kaj had a long history. Even after they’d broken up, they’d kept fucking on and off when there was no better option or they were bored, until it became so toxic it was untenable—that was what Kaj had told him. However, Kaj never truly loved him. So Noah, as petty and possessive as he was, held onto that like a badge of honor.
Yet, none of that mattered the moment he closed the front door that early morning.
The city had been still as he walked down the street. Heavy with the kind of silence that feels like it’s holding its breath as he ordered an Uber. Fake name. Cash option. It’d been summer, but at 8 a.m., it was kind of chilly. Noah pulled his hoodie over his head and tucked his hands into his pockets, fists tightening around the black balaclava and the gloves he sometimes used on stage.
When he reached the pickup location he’d chosen, away from Kaj’s apartment, he simply stood there, blankly looking ahead. His mind was empty except for one thought spinning louder than the rest: He doesn’t get to exist in the same world as Kaj anymore.
The forty-minute ride felt like no time at all. Or maybe too long. He couldn't tell. His mind was some strange white noise—too quiet to be rational, too loud to be peaceful. All he knew was Jesper’s address, the one the private investigator had given him.
The Uber stopped outside Jesper’s house. Noah got out without a word, and as soon as the driver left, after making sure no one was around, he jumped the fence. It took him a few minutes to find a way in, but once he did, he put on his balaclava and the gloves.
Then—nothing.
For weeks, his memories of that day were a blur. It’d felt like someone had cut the film, taped over it, and fast-forwarded. He couldn’t recall how he’d gotten inside. Where he had found Jesper. The first hit or the second. Everything after he’d stepped into his backyard was a red haze, buzzing heat, and cracking bones.
The next thing he remembered was someone yelling.
But it wasn’t Jesper’s voice.
It was Kaj’s. Raw and breathless, like he’d been screaming his name for hours.
He’d never felt so conflicted in his life before.
“Noah.”
He blinked.
Kaj was looking at him, a wrinkle between his brows as he placed the guitar on the floor, resting against the coffee table.
“Where did you go?” he asked with a gentle smile playing on his lips.
“Nowhere.” Noah shook his head. “Just zoning out.”
Kaj gave him a knowing look, the kind that said bullshit without needing to say it. Then he turned to face Noah completely, leaned back on the armrest with his legs straightened, and crossed his arms.
“You know I’m getting better and better at reading you, right?” Kaj nudged Noah’s leg with his foot.
Noah’s eyes flicked to the jars of candles lined up on the shelf over the TV. There was a dozen of them. Kaj had bought them during a random, impulsive shopping spree at the overpriced home goods store he pretended to hate.
The living room felt… cozy. Like their own personal sanctuary. A warm bubble suspended in time, tucked away from the chaos outside. The air smelled sweet and warm as amber, burned wood, and toasted marshmallow scents mixed in the atmosphere with a hint of damp vegetation, like when you go out early and the grass is still glistening with morning dew.
“You’ve been nesting,” Noah said without trying to hide the amusement in his tone.
Kaj raised an eyebrow. “What are you on about now?”
“I mean… Look at this.” Noah motioned with his hands around them. “The fluffy blankets, the candles, the soft cushions. It feels like a yoga retreat, but your face and personality don’t match the vibe at all.” He flashed him a mischievous grin.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Kaj shifted on the couch and crawled on top of Noah, forcing him to drop the notebook where he’d been scribbling lyrics for their next album.
“You look scary.”
Kaj pinched Noah’s side and narrowed his eyes at him, earning himself a wider grin. “It’s the face you fell in love with, I don’t know why you’re complaining,” he countered. “So maybe check yourself.”
“I’m not complaining. Just stating a fact. You walk around looking like you’re two seconds away from stabbing someone in the kidney, but then you’re over here lighting ‘Autumn whisper’ candles, being all romantic and shit.”
Kaj vibrated with a full-chested laugh. “First of all, they’re called ‘Mountain Cabin’ and ‘Rainy Day’.”
Noah snorted.
“Second of all,” Kaj continued, “I’m not scary. Shut up.” He bit Noah’s neck, nibbling his skin and sucking with a purpose.
“You kinda are… with that permanent scowl and all the piercings and tattoos…” Noah mumbled, eyes fluttering closed as he sank into the sensation of Kaj’s body pinning him down.
“Says the guy who has more ink than I do.” Kaj nuzzled Noah’s jaw.
“Touché.” Noah’s arms tightened around Kaj’s waist. “But I’m also cuter.”
“You’re delirious,” Kaj said with that low tone that made everything in Noah vibrate with enthusiasm. “But you’re right about that last part.” He let out a content sigh and kissed him.
For years, Noah believed chasing his dreams and being happy were two separate things. That he was the kind of person who simply wasn’t meant to have both. Yet here he was, wrapped in Kaj’s presence, melting into his touch.
Noah spread his legs wider, allowing Kaj to fully settle against him and their semi-hard cocks to press together as their tongues rolled around each other. Caressing. Chasing. Taunting. The faint scratch of stubble and the temperature soaring in the room made Noah’s pulse stutter. His hands itched to explore, to grab, to strip this man down right here on the couch and possess every part of him. Kaj grunting and moaning as he became a useless mass of post-orgasmic bliss was the most erotic thing Noah had ever seen.
But he held back. For now.
He wanted to take his time with him, savor this bubble of quiet, soft candlelight, and sensual kisses as life unfurled slowly between them.
“Now that I’ve got your full attention…” Noah murmured, brushing Kaj’s hair away from his eyes, fingers lingering at his temple, “Can we take a break from work and plan our Scotland trip?”
Kaj quirked an eyebrow. “I was planning to do something else entirely. Like sucking your dick.”
“That’s tempting.” Noah chuckled, mentally debating what to do. They needed to start reserving things if they wanted to go, but Kaj was so damn talented at sucking cock, rejecting that offer felt sacrilegious. “But we really need to book the hotel room in Edinburgh, the one with the ridiculously gorgeous view of the castle and the old rooftops, and also the van so we can travel around, or there won’t be any good places left.”
Kaj grinded his hips once, making Noah hiss in pleasure. “Van life with you, huh?”
“Yeah…” Noah said, his voice hoarser and lower than before. “Sleeping ass-naked, wrapped around each other in the back with the doors open to the sound of the wind and nothing else. Visiting places no one writes about, like the abandoned lighthouse you found on that weird forum… the cliffs with the sea caves. All those places where we can pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”
“That sounds amazing.” Kaj’s gaze darkened, fingers slipping under the hem of Noah’s shirt as their lips brushed together and he stole the oxygen from his lungs.
“I’ll drive, though. You’ll kill us in five minutes driving on the other side of the road.”
Kaj laughed quietly. “Fair. I’ll navigate. And get us lost on purpose.”
“Great,” Noah rasped. “I just want to be alone with you. No pressure. No noise. Just nature. Music. Us.”
Kaj tilted his head and kissed him once more. Noah could already taste the salt in the air, feel the cold sting of the wind rushing through the van’s rolled-down windows, and touch the endless freedom.
“Scotland’s gonna ruin us,” Noah whispered, breathless against Kaj’s mouth.
Kaj smiled against his lips. “Or remind us who we really are.”
Noah’s hands slid under his long-sleeved tee, tracing the lines of his back and ribs, mapping every inch of his skin. Like this was the only way to see past the riddles and obstacles life put in the way and find the treasure waiting for them— their future .
Wrapping his arms around Noah, Kaj whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Let me be with you till the day I die?”
Noah looked up at him, gorgeous ice-blue eyes flicking between his as he slipped through the cracks of Kaj’s soul. “Until our very last breath.”
Then Kaj kissed him again—slow, deep, full of heat and something reverent—offering him his heart and everything he was with no hesitation, no shields.
And like the greedy creature he was, Noah took it all.
Everything they’d experienced together and apart felt like it’d happened in another life. And maybe it had. Maybe they were in their ninth reincarnation—lost in time, refracted in light, and still finding each other over and over again.
Noah didn’t know if it was destiny or chance. After all his ups and downs. After all the pain and mistakes. After all the lies, the secrets, and the times they’d hurt each other… he’d never imagined that this… happiness even existed.
He had no idea what was coming next. The future was uncertain, and maybe it was all just a game. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care if the sky fell and folded inward, becoming hell on earth. Whatever happened, this— they —would remain undisturbed through every end that led to a new beginning.
Because they belonged here.
In this parallel universe they’d carved out for themselves.
In this sacred corner of the world they now called home .