13. Chapter 13 #2
On the back of the sheet of paper Beck’s written his vows on, is a drawing.
An onlooker’s view of Beck kneeling in front of Roman, holding a ring in the air.
I’ve seen many of Beck’s drawings, and none—not a single one of them—has been as intricate as this.
It looks like it took him days to complete.
Weeks, even. It’s so detailed, I feel like I could almost reach out and touch the hair and feel the texture.
He drew a photo of himself proposing to Roman on the back of his wedding vows.
My throat damn near closes up. I’m not built for this.
Beck clears his throat, and looks down at his vows. Then clears his throat again.
The hand holding the paper shakes so badly it’s a miracle he’s even keeping his grip on it.
“I, uh—I’m not sure how to start.” His voice is already wrecked, and he stops talking for a few seconds, his face twisting with his emotions. “I tried so many times to put it into words, you know?”
He raises his eyes, looking at Roman again. Roman’s breath catches, his shoulders hitching. “I’m not sure there even are words to describe the love I have for you.”
Beck sniffles, using the hand he’s holding his vows in to wipe shakily at his face. It doesn’t help. More tears fall from his eyes the second he pulls his hand away. “But I’m going to try if that’s alright with you. ”
Roman nods slightly.
For a few seconds, Beck doesn’t say anything.
He just stares at Ro and Ro stares at him.
Finally, he inhales a shaky breath. “I’ve loved you longer than I haven’t.
From the—” His voice cuts off abruptly before he lets out a little wet laugh.
“God, beautiful. Why did we want to write our own vows? So stupid of us.”
Roman chuckles, but it ends on a little sob.
Beck blows out a breath, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again.
“From the first time I saw you when I was fourteen years old, I knew you were special. I could—I could barely contain myself the first time I saw that sweet blush. The first time you locked those pretty eyes on mine.”
Oh God. Beck stops and swallows a couple more times, his chest rising and falling quickly. “I—Well, I was gone. From day one.”
A titter of laughter echoes through the crowd and Beck smiles, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Ro. Beck’s face turns more serious. Solemn. “And then I—then I lost you.”
The pain in his voice stops my heart. I’ve heard Ro’s pain.
Seen it. I’ve never, ever heard Beck sound like that.
“I lost you, beautiful. And—” He stops, covering his face with his hand while his shoulders rise and fall with his rapid breaths.
When he pulls his hand away, more tears are lining his face.
“And I think—I think I lost myself a little too.”
Ro’s hand comes up to cover his mouth, and the sound of his muffled sob makes my heart clench.
Beck stops, pulling Roman in close for a second, closing his eyes and nuzzling Roman’s throat.
When they’re both a little calmer, Beck steps back and clears his throat.
“But then you came back. Little by little, you stitched us back together. You stitched me back together. You brought joy and happiness back to me. You brought love back to me. You—made me feel like I was a person again. Not just an empty shell floating through the world.”
Roman sniffles again, swallowing another sob. “You are my reason for living. The reason breathing is easy. You are the entirety of my heart.”
Roman nods, his body almost vibrating from how hard he’s shaking.
“I promise I will love you, protect you, and cherish you for the rest of our lives. I will do everything I can to bring you joy and to make you happy. I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know how loved and special and precious you are to me.”
Roman’s entire body sways toward Beck, and for a second, I worry he’s going to fall straight over, but he course corrects at the last second and makes it upright again.
Beck uses the hand he’s gripping his vows in to brush the back’s of his knuckles over Roman’s cheek, and the tender touch has more tears streaming down my face.
I’d be surprised if a single person in here was dry-eyed.
“That’s all,” Beck whispers, his voice shaky. “That’s all I’ve got. I love you.”
Roman laughs, but it’s wet and full of tears, and I swear I’m going to beat them both for making me cry like this. “That’s all?” Roman chokes out. “Completely decimates my heart and has the audacity to say, ‘That’s all.’”
There’s more laughter from the attendees, and it even draws a chuckle out of the officiant.
“Jesus, baby. How am I supposed to follow that?”
Beck shrugs, looking a little pleased with himself, even as tears continue to drip in a slow stream from his eyes. Ro lets out a breath. “I didn’t write anything down. I was so convinced this would be easy. Why wouldn’t it be? Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”