Chapter 21 Paxon #2
“What Wraith does is…” I glance at him, but quickly tear my eyes away from the sadness in his. “It’s illegal and immoral.”
Boone cackles at that. “Right. And you’re a fucking saint? What will the church do if they find out?”
“Boone—”
“Should I list all the things I’ve done that are illegal and immoral?
I’ve been to prison, Pax. I’ve sold my body to feed my addictions.
I’ve stolen, I’ve hurt people, I’ve lied to those I love.
I hurt Mom more than I can even deal with, and I’ve hurt you.
If you should be done with anyone, it’s me, but here you are, messing up your life again to help me. ”
“It’s different,” I mumble.
“Because you promised Mom? Because we’re related?”
“Yes.”
“How do you still love me in spite of all those things?”
“I don’t fucking know, Boone. It’s not a choice. I just do.”
He chomps on a chip as a grin pulls at his lips.
“Because that’s how love works. We don’t get to choose it.
The only choice we have is what to do with it.
You’ve spent your entire adult life alone, pursuing being the hockey god you are and taking care of your messed-up brother.
When are you gonna be selfish and do something for yourself? ”
I glance at Wraith, who has his head down so I can’t see his face. I don’t know what to say.
“You love Wraith,” Boone says. “I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice. I heard the pain you felt through that hotel door about letting him go. No one can tell you how to live your life. Especially not me. But fuck, Pax, this is your shot at someone who really fucking loves you.”
I look at Wraith again. He lifts his head, but he’s focused on Boone. His eyes are glassy, which surprises me. Fuck. He does love me. I love him too.
“I’m trying,” I admit, softly. “I am. I don’t want to walk away.”
“Then don’t,” Boone says simply. “Fight for this. There’s always a way through the storm.
” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I ran because I wanted to get out of your way for once. I came back because I realized how much it would hurt you if something happened to me, and I’m fucking tired of hurting you.
I’m tired of being scared and living like I have nothing to lose, because I do. I’m fighting for myself too.”
I throw my arms around my brother, holding him close. “Don’t ever run again.”
“I won’t. I’m gonna clean things up even more. I’ll find something stable and get my life right.”
When I let go of Boone and look at Wraith, he’s watching us with a serene expression. My brother is right. If I want this with Wraith, I have to figure it out. I have to fight for it.
“After you eat, I can take you to a guest room,” Wraith says. “You can shower and rest and then we’ll figure out the next steps to stop your former boss.”
“Are you gonna kill him?” Boone asks.
Wraith glances at me briefly before nodding. “Yes. His whole crew is going down. I’m no saint, but we all have our limits and sex trafficking is one of ours.”
“Did you get in trouble for helping me?”
“No. You helped us see a blind spot. You would’ve never been in our sights if we had done a better vetting job. My boss appreciates it.”
“So… I… helped you?”
The broken hope in his voice makes my chest tighten.
“You did, Boone. You helped. We’re gonna do better now. Make sure we’re on the right side of things as best as we can be.”
“That’s good,” Boone says. “That makes all of this worth it.”
“It’ll be because of you those kids are saved. You should be proud of what you did. Maybe not the best method, but at least you took a stand.”
Boone laughs softly. “Noted.”
A bunch of guys file into the kitchen, their conversation halting quickly when they see Boone and me.
Surprisingly for a group of murderers, they all look like pretty normal, albeit extremely attractive, men.
One of them stands out more than the others.
He’s ethereal, beautiful in his masculinity, with his hair piled in a messy bun on top of his head.
The man I’ve seen Wraith with before has his arm around the beautiful man’s waist, and when he smiles at me, it feels like I’m the only person in the room. Now that’s a skill.
“Uh, Boone and Pax, my brothers.”
“And me,” the pretty one says. “Colson.”
“You’re still my brother.” Wraith winks at him.
“You’re so pretty,” Boone gushes at Colson, drawing a surprised look from me and a growl from the man clinging to Colson.
“Thank you, sweetie,” Colson says, rubbing his man’s back. “This caveman here is the love of my life, Specter.”
“Boone,” he says, meeting Specter’s eyes. “I meant no disrespect.”
“You’d think Specter would be used to it by now,” Wraith says.
“I’m used to it,” Specter grumbles, pulling Colson a little closer.
I feel like a museum exhibit as all the men take us in, then the leader enters the room. Even if I didn’t know it was him, I would know by his demeanor and the way the others react to his presence.
“We have another guest,” Shadow says.
“Shadow, this is Pax’s brother, Boone, a.k.a. Patrick. Boone, this is our leader, Shadow.”
Boone seems frozen in place, clearly intimidated by the imposing man.
“Welcome,” Shadow says. “Any new updates, Wraith?”
“We found the target.” He gestures to Boone. “Or rather, he found us.”
“Good. That’s one thing we can tick off. I put in a call to Joey Biggs. Waiting to hear back.”
“When are we doing this?” a man with wild curly hair asks, his grin bordering on maniacal. “I love to hunt a predator.”
“I know,” Shadow says. “I need to hear back from Joey. We’ll find out what he knows and go from there. For now, we do what we discussed earlier and wait.”
“I have to finish mine tonight,” another, younger looking man says.
“Ah, that’s right, Nimble,” Shadow says. “Your target is the last open job we have.”
I feel like Boone and I shouldn’t be hearing this, but maybe it will help me to understand how it works.
“Yeah, and we know for sure he’s a douche,” Nimble says.
“What did he do?” Boone asks, but I cringe, unsure if we’re overstepping.
Nimble looks at Shadow, who nods. “He’s a pretty low-level drug dealer,” Nimble explains. “But he made a move and got involved in some raves. He fucked up with some dirty drugs and four kids died.”
“He got off murder charges on a technicality,” Shadow says. “Served minimal time for involuntary manslaughter and negligence, but even that was reduced for good behavior. He was only out for three weeks before he popped back up in the scene.”
Nimble nods. “He’s a piece of shit. Doesn’t give a fuck about anyone.”
“So our client is making sure he won’t hurt anyone else. His daughter was one of the victims.”
I nod, absorbing the information. I can’t feel bad about a drug dealer who ruins kids’ lives dying, right? The system failed and he’s right back at it.
“Need backup?” another guy—I think his name was Ghost—asks Nimble.
“Nah, man, this one’s easy. I know where he’ll be tonight. He’s very predictable.”
Shadow nods. “I’ll let you all know when I hear back from Joey. Until then, rest. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”
“Can I do anything?” Boone asks.
Shadow studies him for a moment. “To be determined.”
Shadow leaves the room and the others follow him, leaving the three of us alone again. Boone pushes his empty plate forward.
“Thank you for the food.”
“Of course,” Wraith says. “I’ll take you upstairs now so you can rest and freshen up.”
“Cool.”
Before we disperse, Boone grabs Wraith’s wrist, holding his gaze. “You’re a good person.”
He huffs a dark laugh. “I’m not sure about that.”
“You are. I can tell. You’re good for Pax, even if neither of you can see it.”
I want to object, but the words die on my tongue. Wraith has been good for me. Without him, my brother would be dead—if not by his hand, then someone else’s. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the chances of me walking away from him intact are slim.
Keeping him is risky and scary as fuck, but I’ve done scary things before. Maybe this one is worth it.