Chapter 17
AND THE PARTY GROWS
LEELA
Priti transported us out of the frozen landscape into milder territory. With the severe elements and the nagrata threat behind us, we could finally take an easy breath, but it also meant it was time for my friend to leave.
She’d died to save my life, then come back as Death to save it again by bringing Pashim to me. She was here but not here. I felt the shift beneath her tone and caught glimpses of it beneath her smile. She was still Priti, but she was more.
A pit opened inside me as I searched her face, looking for the woman who’d been my best friend, and when she smiled, that soft, tentative smile that I knew so well, the knots in my belly eased.
“Can’t you stay with us?”
She sighed. “I wish I could. But I’ve already intervened too much.
There are rules, and…” She exhaled heavily again.
“This is your path, not mine.” She cupped my shoulders.
“I have every faith in you, Leela. Look how far you’ve come with only your grit, determination, and inner strength.
I believed in you back at the sea trial when I put myself between you and the beast, and I believe in you now. ”
My throat pinched, eyes heating. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You won’t.” She pressed a hand to my chest. “You carry me here. Always, and when the time comes for you to cross, I will be there to carry you also.” She gently pulled me into a hug, and it took everything I had not to release the sobs building in my chest.
“I love you, Priti.”
“I love you too.” She gave me a final squeeze and released me, stepping back. “Goodbye and good luck, all of you.” She turned to go.
“Wait, will I see you again before…you know. My time?”
Her gaze flicked to Pashim. “Only time will tell.” She stepped back and vanished into thin air.
“What was that look about?” Kalani asked Pashim.
He shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s get going.”
My gut told me he was hiding something, but I knew him well enough to know that pushing him would do no good. He’d share when he was ready and not before. It was up to me to respect that.
My boots sank into soft earth, a sign that we were entering the warmer territories, which meant the settlement was near, thank goodness.
My ass and thighs ached from all the walking, and my stomach felt hollow—we were running short on the food we’d brought with us and so were having to ration hard.
Once we got to the settlement, we’d hopefully be able to top up.
Priti had transported us out of the frozen landscape into milder territory, and we’d made good progress toward the nearest portway. Three days on the road with one more to go.
Luckily for us, the area was mainly forestland with very few open spaces to allow any aerial spies to spot us.
I doubted the nagrata were still on our tail, but it was wise to remain vigilant.
It had been days since I’d bathed properly.
We’d found a river to wash in, a stream for fresh water, but I needed a proper scrub.
The settlement would have running water and baths.
Gods, I couldn’t wait to sink into hot, soapy water.
A whisper brushed my ear. Leela.
I smiled. “I feel you, C’ael. I know you’re here.”
A warm pressure bloomed at the small of my back. His hand. He was with us, his presence getting stronger by the day. I had no doubt he’d manifest fully soon.
Another warm brush against my cheek. One more whisper. Back soon…
The air shifted, less charged now that he’d retreated to wherever he went to recharge.
I missed him, despite the fact we hadn’t had long together.
He said he was connected to me, and I believed it.
Iblees had summoned him. Made him. Whatever.
And Iblees was my twin flame. C’ael was a part of us both now.
The primordial evil couldn’t control him, and I’d be damned if I allowed him to fuck with his memory again.
C’ael was mine to protect.
Mine…
“The sun will go down soon,” Pashim said. “We should find a good spot to make camp.”
The moona whinnied as if in agreement. The magnificent beasts, born for the skies, no longer gleamed pristine white.
Their hooves and legs were muddy, flanks speckled with dirt, wings too.
Yet they still managed to look as majestic as ever.
I wished, not for the first time, that they’d let us take turns riding them, but to be fair to Dhoona and Yudh, they’d spent more time on foot than in the saddle, whether out of fairness or to give the moona a break, I wasn’t sure.
Kalani was somewhere up ahead, scouting out the terrain. But it was obvious to us all that she needed space to grieve. I couldn’t help but feel responsible. The nagrata had been after me, and Raja had died trying to get me to safety.
It had been a while since she’d doubled back to check in, though. “I’m worried about Kalani.”
“I’ll go check on her,” Pashim said, striding off into the trees before I could stop him.
His ability to teleport would have come in handy about now, but the innate skill had been lost when Priti brought him back. A toll, she said. Everything centered around balance, and even though he shouldn’t have died, taking him back into the world of the living still required a price.
“Kalani will heal in time,” Yudh said softly. “What happened was no one’s fault but the primordial evil’s.”
I knew that, of course, but still…
Pashim appeared on the track ahead. “Kalani found a copse. Good cover and space enough to build a fire and a stream too.” He waited for us to catch up a little before leading the way back down the track, which grew narrower as the tress closed in, forcing us to walk single file for a while before it opened out onto a stream.
A gathering of trees sat beyond it, branches almost entwined as they leaned into each other as if in urgent confabulation.
Kalani appeared from the shadows, standing hands on hips as we hopped the stepping stones across the water.
“I’ve set up the shelters,” she said. “If it rains, we should stay dry.”
“I’ll prepare the ground for a fire,” Yudh said.
I knew enough about camping to understand the risks with lighting a fire in a densely wooded area like a copse, but as long as we cleared the ground around it and created a neat fire pit using stones, we should be safe.
I set to work helping collect rocks from around the stream, my body already aching to lie down and sleep.
Pashim took our canteens and went to collect water.
I watched him as he folded his powerful frame into a crouch and dipped the first canteen into the running water. Tendrils of blue hair fell forward, shadowing his face, and the urge to walk over to him and brush them back washed over me. I exhaled, letting the moment pass.
I loved him. Not with the intensity that I loved Araz. Not with feral fire but with a steady, surefooted love. The kind of love that would always be there, like the sun or the moon. Ever present and eternal.
And because I loved him, I needed to make sure I didn’t cage his heart any more than I already had.
I wanted him to be free to love someone who could love him back with the ferocity that he deserved. The kind of love that would hit him like a tsunami and steal the very breath from his lungs. The kind of love that existed between me and Araz.
He capped the canteen and looked my way. I froze, heart thudding hard against my ribs. His penetrating gaze locked with mine for the longest second before he broke contact, dropping his attention back to the pack containing the canteens.
I went back to my rocks but had barely gathered any when my nape pricked in awareness. A gentle heat brushed my hand.
C’ael. The knots in my chest loosened.
Here. Not far now.
I turned toward the whisper, pulse quickening. The air shifted, and for a moment he was there, his beautiful face so close I could have leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Emerald eyes stared into my soul, and a gentle calm settled over me.
Leela…
I reached for him.
He vanished, taking the soothing calm with him.
I needed him back. And soon.
The fire crackled and popped, throwing out the gift of heat.
Yudh kept watch while Kalani and Dhoona slept on the other side of the campfire.
Pashim and I snuggled in a bedroll under one of the two shelters that Kalani had erected—a hide provided by Priti, stretched between two trees and secured with twine.
I lay facing Pashim, using his arm as a pillow, my palm on his chest. His free arm lay over my waist, his hand in my hair. Fingers on my scalp. Soothing. It was intimate and probably too close, but I was weak. I wanted this. Needed it.
He kissed my forehead softly. “Close your eyes, Leela. I’ll watch over you.”
Heat gathered behind my eyes because I didn’t deserve his love. Not when I couldn’t return it in kind.
“Look at me,” he said softly.
I lifted my chin, blinking back tears as I fell into the depths of his sapphire eyes. “Pashim…”
He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, and my stomach flipped hard.
“You can have this,” he said. “The warmth. The comfort. My heart. Araz would not begrudge you this relief. It is not unheard of for our women to take more than one lover at a time. I know Araz is your twin flame. I am content to be a star in your sky.” He leaned in, his mouth coasting mine.
“I dreamed of you. Of your lips. Of the taste of you.”