Chapter 17 #2
Heat pooled low in my belly. I lifted my chin, reacting before I could think better of it, and our mouths brushed, the contact an electric pulse.
I gasped, and he caught it, his mouth closing over mine in a show of dominance that tore a moan from my throat.
Heat flooded me. Eager. Hungry. Yearning.
I opened for him, taking what I needed and giving him what he desired.
No thought. No doubts. Just this singular moment of connection.
Mouth to mouth. My body pressed to his. My hands tangling in his silken hair as I clutched him close, breathing him in between kisses that deepened and deepened until my pulse was throbbing in my throat and hammering between my thighs.
I wanted him. Fuck. I wanted him inside me.
No!
I broke the kiss, my breath ragged, vision blurring. “I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t love you in the way you deserve. When it comes down to my heart, it will always be Araz. I’m sorry.” I slipped from the pallet.
He let me go, eyes filled with the soft understanding that was him.
Yudh looked up as I joined him on the flat stone on the edge of the copse. “I’ll take watch.”
“I doubt you have slept yet, Leela.”
“Yudh, please.”
“I’ll sit with her,” Kalani said, joining us. “You rest for a while.”
Yudh looked between us, then nodded. “I do not need much sleep, so wake me when you feel tired.”
I lowered myself onto the rock, and Kalani joined me. “Are you all right?” she asked softly.
My instinct was to say yes, but I needed to talk to someone about this. To confess. “No. I just…I kissed Pashim. A lot. And…I wanted to do more. I love him, but I love Araz more. More than anything, and I can’t believe I even entertained the thought that I could…I’m a horrible person.”
She was silent for several beats. “You’ve almost died several times over the last few days. Our world is in peril, and its fate rests on your shoulders. It’s not unheard of to find solace in a warm body in times like these.”
“Pashim isn’t some random body.”
“I know.” She smiled at me. “Which is why your body feels safe to open to him. He loves you, and he will happily give you the comfort you need. But I understand why you’d hesitate to take it.
You’re a good woman, Leela. Better than any I have come across.
Better than me. You understand that crossing that line with him would seal something and break something at the same time.
You understand the limits of your heart, and although you love fiercely, you are also single-minded in that connection. ”
I sagged, my shoulders dropping because she’d nailed it. Mapped me in a way that I’d been struggling to. “I need to speak to Pashim. To explain and—”
A low howl cut off my words.
Kalani’s head whipped up, nostrils flaring as she slowly stood.
Another howl joined the first. This one closer. Clearer.
“Wolves,” she said. “We should get back to the fire.”
A third howl, then a fourth. Communication between a pack.
“They’ve probably smelled us,” Kalani said. “We need to move. I’ve heard nasty tales about the wolves in this region. I thought we’d avoid encountering them if we skirted their territory.”
She ushered me back to the copse, where Yudh and Dhoona had already begun packing up our supplies.
Pashim approached us. “We’re leaving.”
“Yeah, I heard them.”
The brothers had just finished loading up the moona when the creatures began to stamp their hooves before planting them firmly on the ground and lowering their heads, mist billowing from their nostrils.
Dhoona and Yudh backed up and drew their blades.
“We have company,” Pashim said softly, his gaze on a spot over my head.
I tracked his gaze to the large beast standing wreathed in shadow between the trees. Glowing green eyes locked on to me and slow-blinked.
The breath exploded from my lungs, emotion swelling in my chest and up my throat, making it hard to speak.
I knew those eyes. I’d accumulated hours looking into them.
“Hello, Leela,” Ravi said.
I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat, put my hands on my hips, and fixed a mock glare on my face. “Well, it’s about time that you found me.”
The moona settled once Ravi shifted into his human form. I looked away to give him privacy to don the clothes that were wrapped in a bundle and tied to his leg.
“You’re safe from the pack,” Ravi said from behind me as he dressed. “They were working with me to help find you. They won’t harm you.”
“Where’s your troop?”
“At the settlement a few miles away. You can look now, Leela.”
I turned to face him, my heart expanding as I took him in. He moved toward me, arms opening, and I rushed to meet him in a hug.
He rested his chin on my head, holding me tightly. “I was so fucking worried. No one responded to our queries after you were taken. The vortex that was meant to arrive for troop change never came. I enlisted the packs to help find you. I had your scent on my clothes. Enough for them to memorize.”
“You have no idea what’s happened in Aakash Sansaar, do you?” Kalani said.
He looked up at her, then across at Pashim. “No, but if drohi are coming back from the dead, then I’m assuming it’s something monumental.”
“Your assumption is correct,” Pashim said.
I drew back with a sigh. “You best sit. We have a lot to tell you.”
Yudh got the fire roaring again, and we’d barely sat down when a figure emerged from between the trees.
I sat up straighter. “C’ael!”
“The one and only.” He offered a mock bow.
Ravi and Pashim tensed on either side of me.
“It’s okay.” I reached out to lightly touch their arms. “This is my…C’ael. My friend. He’s connected to Iblees.”
C’ael joined us, squeezing into the spot on the other side of Pashim. “Looks like I’m just in time for a recap.”
We talked until the fire began to flag, and then Dhoona ordered us to bed, saying that he and Yudh would keep watch. The wolf pack was close by, but the brothers were trained to be alert when on the ground.
I crawled into my bedroll, and Pashim joined me. I met his gaze, an unsaid apology hovering on my lips from earlier.
He leaned in and kissed my brow, and just like that, the tangle inside me unraveled.
I snuggled down beside him, and C’ael lay on the other side of me. Ravi lowered his frame by my feet.
I looked between the three of them. “You…you all want to sleep here?”
“It will get colder soon,” Ravi said. “The temperature always drops dramatically at night in these parts. It’s warmer if we sleep in a huddle.”
Kalani joined us, a wry smile on her face as she took us in. “I feel like I’m intruding.”
Ravi smiled up at her. “Not at all. You can lie beside me. I run hot.”
Her brows went up. “And how can I resist such a warm offer?”
We settled to sleep, our breath slowing as warmth pooled between us.
Things were crazy dangerous right now. The future uncertain. But I had Pashim, C’ael, and Ravi with me, and that…that was a blessing I wouldn’t sniff at.