Chapter 33
Excitement races through my body, making me feel like I’m on top of the world. I channel all my energy into a hyper-focus.
You have tonight, don’t do anything stupid.
Abigail passes me by. “Good luck.”
“I don’t need luck, but you surely do, sweetheart.”
“Look at me all shivery just at the thought.”
A grin lifts the corners of my lips. “We’ll see about that.”
She blows me a kiss as she gets into her car, and I do the same.
Revving up the motor, I take off the moment the flag drops. Flooring the pedal, I don’t give her an inch, so she stays behind me until my car is the first to pass the finish line. It ends fast, yet not fast enough for me to finally have her.
After I win the race, I look for the ultimate win, but she goes to her group of friends, talking animatedly. Only one more race then she’s yours—for tonight . I don’t let that thought distress me, so I drive back to the starting line. Kaden parks next to me.
Face-to-face, the tension pulses between us.
“If you don’t play fair, there will be no winner,” he says.
“Don’t worry, I intend to make it painful.”
He looks unimpressed and unamused, jerking his chin in my direction. “Can we start already? I have better things to do.”
“She’s never going to be the one you’ll look at without seeing me behind her eyes.”
He gets in my face. “Abigail fades away by staying away, so if you do something she won’t love tonight, I’m going to kill you.”
I push him off me and get into my car, already riled up.
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
When the flag goes down, we both speed off in a heap of scrunching tires.
It’s a close race, with Kaden constantly trying to have his nose upfront. He won’t win, but I like to give him the impression he could until I don’t fucking care about our stupid competition but about my ultimate prize.
Switching gears quickly and pulling at the gearshift, I take a dangerous curve and hold that advantage, crossing the finish line first. I flip him off in the mirror. I thought he would have been a better opponent, but on the last part, it’s as if he lost on purpose.
When he gets out, Abigail hugs his side, a secretive understanding passing between them.
I march toward them to get my true win for tonight.
“I am here to collect my prize for the night. I hope you won’t mind me returning her a bit ruffled.” Scooping her up, I throw her over my shoulder. Abigail slaps my back, telling me to put her down. I do that only when I reach my car and put her ass in the passenger seat.
Then I drive away. When I look at her, she’s completely at ease. She puts her feet on the dash, her eyes closed.
“You look awfully not mad.”
“It was a fair win.”
“No congratulations?”
“Even Kaden knew he had no chance.”
I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger and say through a clenched jaw, “You don’t fucking say his name tonight.”
But like the obstinate girl she is, she provokes me.
“Make me.”
Parking on the side of the road, I pull her over the console and drag her onto my lap.
I shut her up the only way I know, by kissing her. She gives in to the kiss as if she’s starving.
Why now, Abigail? And as a sucker for the last moments of this between us, I kiss her longer.
She plays with the ends of my hair, and through pecks, she says, “What other rules?”
She sounds too excited about this, breaking my heart even more. It’s hers anyway.
Let her wreck me completely.
“Only one. There are none.”
“Okay.”
She climbs from my lap, and I feel the loss of her penetrating every cell in my being.
When we reach my house, we walk toward the front door in silence.
I watch her as she takes the mansion in while I imagine it as our home. We’d live here and love each other. An illusion. A dream I must bury tonight.
“Did you steal my plan for this house?”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“You know why…”
With my hand on her back, I usher her inside. Kissing her neck, I stop in the middle of the living room.
“Why here and not your bedroom?”
“Why would I take you to my bedroom? This is where we first fucked. This is where we’ll last fuck.”
She turns in my arms and cups my face. “If you think I haven’t felt as intense, as deep, as maddening, you are mistaken. Don’t dirty our night together.”
That’s what makes me stop. One night. That’s all.
“How could I dirty the night or you when I fucking love you so much? Not having you is the greatest torment. We won’t be able to stop the wreck of us. When it gets too much, I’ll come here. We’ll fight and fuck, and that would be my life.”
She’s perfectly still as she watches me.
I rake a hand through my hair and continue, “I’m sorry to disappoint you, princess. But if I have to let you go one more time after I just had you, I won’t survive it.”
Her ring catches my attention. It’s so fucking big, like a fucking statement of ownership.
Her voice shakes. “Don’t…”
“I would have picked something else for you.”
She tilts her head, a small smile grazing her lips. “A princess cut?”
“A princess ring for my princess…”
But she’s not mine, and she’ll never wear my ring.
“It was hard before, but now, the ring, the engagement make it harder… more real… and the dream of us slips further away.”
“Ignore it.”
“Could you?”
She hugs herself, avoiding my glance.
“You’ll never give me the whole truth. So here is mine, princess.”
I go to the safe hidden behind a glass wall in the bar and take some documents out. I offer them to her while I shove my hands in my pockets, not to cup her face and beg her to choose me again.
Her expression goes from curious to incredulous as she reads through the papers. It’s the property deed. I bought it for her. I bought it because she is the only one I have imagined having a life with, a family with. But I won’t, and this place is her favorite. I can’t put a ring on her finger, make her my wife, or be the father of her children, but I can offer her the one place she has always loved.
“What is this?” she asks in a shaky voice.
“It’s yours.”
She blinks at me, opening and closing her mouth.
“I’m leaving, and I swear I will try my best to stay away this time. But I want us to end right. No more stolen nights and fucks that lead us nowhere. We’ve been through that once. Twice. We have to end the cycle.”
Her eyes well up, and she clutches those papers to her chest. Her pain becomes my pain.
“I lied to you. I let you believe even more lies. Let me rectify those. I wouldn’t even know what another pussy looks like because yours has been the only one I saw, kissed, licked, fucked. And baby, it’s beyond beautiful.”
She cups her mouth, crying silently. “When I left two years ago, I put in all the hard work to become the man you’d be proud to call yours. I bought this house hoping to raise our family here in your favorite place, in the home where we gave each other our firsts. I gave my body to you here. I gave my heart to you here. I gave you everything.”
She drops to her knees, the paperwork scattering.
I approach her and kneel in front of her, lifting her chin.
“If you see me on the podium, remember it’s because I want you to be proud of me. If you see me and think I’m with someone, remember I’m not because I’m with you. If you see me and think I’ve stopped loving you, remember I haven’t, because I’ll die loving you. If you think of me at times, remember, I’m thinking just of you.”
I kiss her lips, lingering a moment longer to cement our last kiss in my memory forever, and leave, not turning around. It hurts so much that with every step I take, a piece of me dislodges and stays behind with her. As I walk away, I am dying bit by bit. I remind myself I’m doing this for her, and that strengthens my resolve.
Before I can close the door, she screams my name. The windows vibrate with the anguish in her voice.
Get in the car. You did what you came for. Leave already.
With every step I take, I hear her sobs, making my resolve crumble.
Just walk away. You’re the reason she’s conflicted.
I stop when I hear a thump, and I run back inside to see her ring on the floor. Abigail lifts her foot and stomps on it again and again and again.
“I don’t love Kaden like that. I never did, and this fucking ring is not his. It’s his father’s.”
She falls to the ground and puts her head between her hands, rocking herself. She shivers so badly, breaking my heart to shreds. I gather her in my arms and bring her to the couch, holding onto her.
“He’s going to kill me this time, and it’s okay.”
“Who is going to kill you?”
I ask as gently as I can, trying not to scare her while murderous energy courses through me. I’m losing my shit by the second.
Her breath hitches, and she squeezes her eyes shut as if trying to keep everything from getting out. My instincts lead, and I lift my hand, caressing her cheek, wanting to comfort her and make her open up. This moment feels monumental. The air around us carries a heavy implication, and I sense the shift.
“Princess, you’re safe with me.”
“Felix,” she says through a gulp. When she opens her eyes, they glisten with tears, terror filling them. He just became my number one enemy. The one I will make regret the day he hurt her.
Leaning in, I kiss both her teary eyes, my thumbs caressing the wetness from her cheeks. I’m afraid if I open my mouth to speak, my anguish will make her stop confessing, so I let my touch do the talking for now.
Abigail inhales the biggest gulp of air and holds my gaze as if she needs visual contact to continue, so I offer her a nod and a small smile.
“He killed our baby too. That’s why I said sorry in the car; I couldn’t protect it. That’s why I have two flames.” She hiccups so strongly that my hand automatically caresses her back to soothe her, and trying to stay anchored and not let her words splinter my heart.
“One is for you and one for what we could have had.”
“Look at me.” I need her to tell me it’s not true, but I know it is.
She shakes her head and continues. “The first time I chose Kaden and not you is because his father sent someone to kill you. I can survive everything, but only if I know you’re safe.”
“What happened?” My voice is groggy, scraping at my throat.
She fidgets with her fingers in her lap, but I place my hands on them. Brushing my thumbs up and down her wrists, she stops.
“Felix tortured me for three days. But do you know what hurt the worst?”
I keep caressing her while I plant a kiss on the top of her head. Wetness coats my lips. I’m crying, and I have never cried in my life.
“He called me a whore for loving you.”
Oh, Felix. You’re going to wish you were never born once I’m done with you.
“I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have, but feelings are not bad, right?”
She’s back in that fucking mental space where she has no self-confidence because he chipped that away from her.
“No, our love is not dirty, and you’re not a whore.” I can’t even say that word without gnashing my teeth.
“Maybe that’s why I lost the baby. I would’ve been a terrible mother.”
“You didn’t lose our baby, it was taken from us. And you would’ve been the best mother ever.”
She seeks my eyes. The vulnerability reflecting in them splinters my chest.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
“I really wanted our baby even though I didn’t know we were expecting. I found out after Felix and Caleb took it from me. You should hate me. Be mad at me.”
I brush my nose against her cheek, our tears mixing.
“If I’m mad at someone, it would be at myself because I left and didn’t protect you. I don’t blame you and never will.”
She draws eights on my chest, exhaling deeply. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For making you think even for a second that you’d be my second choice. I don’t have a choice when it comes to you. You’re my only choice.”
Every broken piece of my heart heals at once. I kiss her long and hard, pouring all my love inside her.
I scoop her up, and she tenses. “Where are we going?”
“To our bedroom.”
“Do you think it will change anything? I can’t live knowing my love could get you killed. Why don’t you want to understand that? I’d hurt you a million times rather than take the chance that something could happen to you.”
“Get it through that stubborn head of yours that I’d rather die than not be with you.”
I kiss her again.
She whines but then gives in to the kiss.
Placing her on the bed, I slip in next to her. Leaning my head on the headboard, mentally preparing myself to go through the carnage of her confessions. She pulls her knees to her chin while wrapping her arms around her legs.
“Now what?”
I arch an eyebrow. “Start talking. And don’t leave anything out.”
“Dane…”
“I won’t repeat myself, or I’m leaving this bed and burning shit down.”
She gulps. “If only we could have been able to stay away.”
“I can’t stay away from you, haven’t you fucking noticed?”
“I’ll tell you, but then you have to leave.”
I slam my mouth on hers to silence her. These are not the words I want from her. All I want from her right now is her telling me how that fucker hurt her so I can hurt him a thousand ways worse.
I slip my tongue inside of her sweet mouth. She may be my madness, but I am done hiding from it. If she’s not afraid of it, then why should I?
Tonight will not be our end, but the foundation of something real. She might cuss me out and scream at me, but she’s stuck with me. I’m not a saint, but she’s not one either.
All she has done is hide. Not anymore.
We’re exposed. We’re naked. We’re truthful.
“Why don’t you care more about your life?” she asks me, looking into my eyes and clawing her way straight into my heart. It’s hers anyway. Always was and always will be.
“It’s not worth much without you.”
“I wanted one night after those hellish days to feel something else, and then you made me come undone with your big gesture and all your love.”
“It took you long enough. Do you know what it did to me seeing you fading away? And as soon as you heard the word bet, there was that spark again in your eyes because you knew I’d fight to win. Our damn hearts are interconnected, Abigail.”
“I wanted my love not to be selfish. Is that so wrong?”
“No. But you kept me protected long enough. That ends right now. I’m yours like you’re mine. One day, I’m going to put a ring on your finger. One day you’re going to say yes, and one day, we’re going to be parents if we’re not already.”
“I took a test. It’s negative.”
I kiss her, caressing her cheek. “You want my baby? I will put one in you right here and now. I already chose you. Now you have to choose me back, princess.”
“It’s not that simple…”
“Tell me, or I’m kidnapping your ass.”
That I might still do.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t?”
She rolls her eyes at me, knowing full well I would.
Her fingers clutch the sheet. “I have shoved those awful memories in the back of my mind, making me believe that I’d be fine, eventually.” She gulps, her head falling. “But no, you had to push and push.”
“We can talk about our shit for a long time from now but stop digressing. Our other issues will be there in the morning too.”
She tilts her head to me. “Promise me something, because I’m not talking otherwise.”
This stubborn woman of mine.
“What?”
“Two things actually.”
“You get one. Decide which one is more important.”
“The first one, you will do nothing crazy. We have an escape plan. I won’t spend my life being chased because you can’t control yourself.”
I’m going to be even madder than I am. I inhale and exhale in a calming motion, preparing myself.
“The second is, I tell you everything, then you leave until I can come back to you.”
“Which one is more important to you, Abigail? You get one. Choose the first because I’m never honoring the second. Start talking.”
Tears well in her eyes, and they fucking pierce my chest like a million needles, but she nods, the fight in her vanishing.
“It started when I was a child, knowing that my life is not mine. My only purpose is to serve the Family. Duty is paramount, and I’d have to accept whatever was chosen for me. Groomed to be of service. Felix wanted me for his son, Kaden. Why? The only plausible reason is he hates Celine. My parents were on board with the plan. Actually, ever since I was little, all they cared about was my beauty. I had to watch what I ate and how I presented myself.”
No wonder she had an eating disorder. They will all pay.
“But then you came, and something in me flickered alive. I knew I had to keep my distance, but I couldn’t. What started as a small rebellion turned into feelings that I’m sure won’t ever disappear. I knew the risks, and it was worth it until Felix found out.”
“What did they do to you because of me?”
“We all have to go through an initiation. I think they do that when we have a weakness… You were mine. For one weekend, they made me go through mental and physical pain— showing me how they’d kill you…”
She rubs her hands over her arms, and I pull her to me.
“If you keep it inside, it will eat at you. You’re not there. They will never touch you again.”
“I wish you could keep that promise.”
“I will.”
She leans into me, and I wrap my arms around her, wanting to comfort her, embed her to me so she’ll always be safe. The only way someone could take her away from me was by prying her from my dead body. Not before.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, placing a kiss on top of her head and brushing my hand down her back.
“Felix sent a man to your room while you were in class.”
I stiffen, and she says, “Scared? Good. You should be. They even came up with the story that you committed suicide. The Family controls everything.”
“It was not your job to protect me.”
She lifts her head, eyes seeking mine. “What would you have done in my place, huh? I did what I had to do to keep you as far away as possible.”
“By making me believe you chose him.”
“It was the only way.”
I rake a hand through my hair. “So you two?”
“Kaden and I have never been together or romantically involved. Do I love him? Sure, he’s my family, my best friend. All of them are.”
I erupt into laughter, doubling over. Fucking shit, I’m losing it for good.
“I endured it once. I’d endure it a hundred times for you,” she says resolutely.
Cupping the back of her neck, I drag her to me, kissing her forehead. A shiver rocks her body. I caress her cheeks, brushing my nose against hers, trying to comfort her.
“You are one tough woman, princess, but keeping it inside is not how to deal with those demons.”
“They pinned me to a chair for hours, with electroshocks zapping through my body. Yet, they didn’t break me. When you’re a prisoner stripped of everything, it’s up to you to hold on to your sanity. I did. And I planned and survived.”
“What’s the escape plan?”
“I told you that I won’t let you get involved, and now I have to go back to the house.”
“Abigail.”
“Dane.”
She might say one thing, but her eyes plead for something else.
With her tucked in my arms, I shift to the side and pull the blanket over us.
“Sleep.”
“Dane…”
I tilt her chin, and through kisses, I say, “My ass is not leaving. I will never leave you again.”
“Dane, please be reasonable.”
“Haven’t you heard me? At the end of whatever awaits us, we’ll be together.”
“You’re putting your life in danger…”
“I’m not afraid of dying, Abigail. Never have been, but not to live my life with you at my side… That’s something that has the power to destroy me.”
“Are you sure?”
“I will spank your stubborn ass.”
“You wouldn’t.”
I turn her on her belly and do just that. She watches me over her shoulder, halfway shocked, halfway aroused, chewing down her lower lip.
“What do you need?”
“I can’t sleep. I want to sleep.”
Hoping out of bed, I rummage through my bathroom and find some oil. Climbing into bed, I straddle her legs. I warm the oil between my hands and put them on her naked skin. She moans as I unknot her shoulders down to her spine. Gripping her ass has me hard in one second flat.
I need to connect with her and feel her while I try to focus on massaging her and not bury myself in her. But damn, when my thumb grazes her slit, she’s wet.
“Dane… please…”
“Patience.”
“It’s torture, that’s what it is…”
My palm connects with her ass cheek, and the sound reverberates through the room. The rosy print has me growling low in my throat.
“You want my cock, princess?”
“So bad…”
I indulge her because, in the end, one truth remains: I can’t deny her. We could never deny each other.
Guiding my dick to her pussy, I slide it up and down her slit. Teasing her, I slip just my head inside of her. She sucks in a breath.
“Please…” She fists the sheet, moaning low.
“What do you need?” I ask.
She huffs, eyeing me over her shoulder with blue eyes burning in desire.
“Your cock inside of me.”
“So desperate for my cock to stretch this sweet, tight pussy.”
“Yes, because it feels so good.”
In one thrust, I’m buried inside of her hot core. Sheathed in nirvana, I could live inside of her and wouldn’t need anything else. Rapture. My rapture. That’s what she is.
“Yessss.” She cries so loud and long, pumping my insides with satisfaction.
Gripping her ass cheeks, I spread them, getting a better view of my cock sliding in and out of her pussy that sucks me back in greedily, making me lose my damn mind. I spank one cheek, then the other.
“What did I do now?”
“You’d tempt a fucking monk with this perfect pussy…”
“Would I?”
I spank her again while pushing in and out slowly, not to lose a damn second of the perfect visual.
“If any man even thinks he could have you, I’d kill him. This pussy is mine, just mine.”
“Just yours,” she says over her shoulder. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
Her words combined with me feeling and filling her from the inside out is so potent, breathing life into every corner of my being.
Flipping her on her back, I lift her legs over my shoulders, driving myself back inside of her.
“So deep…”
“It makes me even harder than I fucking am that your pussy struggles to take all of me, yet you’re so greedy for every damn inch.”
“You made me like this…”
I crush my mouth on hers, staying inside of her. She pants in my mouth, clawing her nails at my back.
“Oh God.”
“But it’s me filling you completely. So call out my fucking name.”
Massaging her breasts, I knead her nipples—needing even more contact as if me being deep inside of her and our skin touching is not enough. Her breathing turns erratic as she meets me, thrust for thrust. Her eyes are glazed over, and her walls squeeze me so hard I won’t be able to resist much longer. I don’t want her to just come but explode on my cock, and bathe me in her juices.
Tonight, I am reborn as hers with a clear mission in life: to love and be at her side.
“Look at me, princess.”
She does, and those electric blue eyes of hers swallow me in their depths where my home is.
I rock in and out of her. Her breathing hitches and her body tenses. She’s almost there, and I press my thumb on her clit, circling slowly. And then she comes, moaning my name and holding on to my shoulders, igniting my release. Pulling out in time to come all over her belly, I paint a heart with my cock.
She giggles. “You’re a true romantic.”
“I love you, Abigail.”
“I love you with all of me.”
After wandering in darkness, those words guide me back to light—to her.
Nothing else exists in my world but her.
While we can’t keep our hands and lips off each other, I lift her hand and place it on my chest. “Yours, just yours.”
I put her fingers on my temple next. “Thought of you, every day, ever since I met you.” Then, my eyes. “They see just you.” And my cock. “Just you, only you.”
The kiss leads to our bodies coming together in another blissful reunion.
“Feel me,” I say, strong emotions clawing at my throat.
“I do, in every beat, every touch, in every cell.”
We make love again, losing ourselves in each other.