Chapter 8 #2
Our dinner finally arrives, so I busy myself with my fork, trying to stay out of the conversation going on around me. I just have to make it another hour, and then I can haul ass out of here.
“…and congratulations, Nathan. I heard you plan to sell your father’s firm. That’s a big move…and definitely in the best interest of Katie. But I’m sure that wasn’t easy to do,” Dimitri says, bringing Nate’s attention back to him.
“Yeah. We really wanted to honor the man Nathan’s father was. I think allowing Eric to take over the firm really coincides with the mission Nathaniel had. He changed a lot of lives and was such a wonderful member of our community.” My sister gushes as if Nathaniel was some kind of saint.
I scoff, drawing the attention of well…everyone. I look up from my plate and see Nate fighting a smile from the corner of my eye. It doesn’t appear like Nathaniel and Nate had improved their relationship over the last eight years.
Interesting.
I knew those two would never actually reconcile. I’m even more interested to know how he ended up following his father’s dreams for him. Something tells me that the answer to that question ties into the events of our prom night.
“Sorry, it was just a bit spicy,” I mutter, faking a cough as I swallow my food.
Katie looks at me strangely, as if she understands my reaction to Nathaniel, but not how I know what a terrible man he was. “Anyway, it was a tough decision, but with Nathan deciding not to take the bar exam, there was no real reason to keep it in the family,” she concludes, speaking for Nate.
Keep it in the family. Because Katie is going to be Nate’s family. That hurts far more than it should.
“Speaking of family,” she looks at me and smiles tightly, “I think I can get the time off from the firm to get my wedding dress after all. Looks like our sister trip is back on!” she exclaims, her expression not matching the fake excitement in her tone.
“I already booked my flight, Katie.”
“So then transfer the ticket in my name, Nathan,” she responds firmly.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea, Katie?” Dimitri says, inserting himself in their quarrel. “The Smith case is huge. Any time away could really hinder your chance of making junior partner. You’re already taking so much time off with the wedding and honeymoon.”
“I think it will be fine.”
“You know my dad loves you, but it’s not just up to him. I don’t think this is a good career move for you,” he says, clearly skeptical of this plan.
“It’s no big deal, Katie. I know I gave you a hard time, but I don’t want you to miss out on any opportunities. It will be fine,” I lie in my most cheerful voice. I half expect Nate to utter the same words he did to me last week.
I’m not walking down that goddamn aisle.
Why not? It’s not like tonight hasn’t already been a dramatic shit-show. I almost wish he would. It would get me off the hook, both from taking this trip to Brazil, and keeping this secret from Katie.
“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I don’t know what I was thinking,” she concedes, her disappointment obvious.
She. Knows.
Even worse, she knows, and she doesn’t trust her own sister. That hurts so bad, even though I don’t have the right to feel this way. Not when I can’t stop thinking about the man she is going to marry.
Dimitri leans over, placing his hand on my thigh. “That’s so nice of you to do that for her.” He gives my leg a light squeeze, letting his touch linger. I’m sitting farther back from the table so I know my leg is visible, and I know the moment Nate can see where his hand is placed.
The clanking of Nate’s utensils draws my attention over to him. He’s cutting into his steak aggressively while staring directly down at the thumb caressing my thigh.
“Nathan…” Katie begins.
“Did you ask her if she wanted to be touched like that?” Nate growls, looking away from the offending thumb to glare at Dimitri.
Confused, Dimitri looks down at his hand and quickly removes it. “Shit…I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t think—”
“No. You didn’t. Touch her again without her permission and I’m going to touch you without yours,” Nate snarls, his face red with anger.
My mouth falls open in shock. I look over at Katie, watching as tears fill her eyes. She doesn’t let them fall, though. Letting them fall would be an admission of truth. An acknowledgement that something is going on here.
Dimitri looks between the three of us like he doesn’t know what to say. I quickly excuse myself to the restroom, hearing Katie’s chair slide out after I step away from the table.
I make it to the restroom, aggressively shoving the door open and allowing it to swing closed behind me. It never hits its mark because Katie pushes in after me. She lost her silent battle, tears quietly slide down her cheeks as she looks at me with such devastation it causes my chest to ache.
“Are you and Nathan having an affair?” Her words are hitched as she tries to speak through the tears she’s still desperately fighting.
“What? Katie, no. No. I would never do something like that to you.”
I wouldn’t. At least I don’t think I could.
“Then tell me what is going on. Please, Els. I was never worried about Nathan cheating on me. Never. Not in the nearly two years we’ve been together.
But after his dad died, he just started making all these irrational decisions.
He spent seven years in school, and now he’s not even taking the bar exam.
We’ve been home for six months, and it has just gotten worse.
The way he looks at you? Like he’s dying of thirst and you’re his salvation?
Ellie, that’s not the look you give to a high school enemy!
” she cries out, the pain in her voice breaking my heart.
“What was that, Ellie? What was that out there!? Because to me that sounded like a man defending the honor of a woman he…fuck. Ellie…I overheard him…on the phone with his sister…” Her tears are falling in earnest now, causing black streaks of mascara to trickle down her cheeks.
“Overheard what?” I ask, confused with the sudden change of topic.
“Nothing. Just…forget I said anything. I need you to tell me I have nothing to worry about. Please tell me I have nothing to worry about. Because I’m sending my sister, my best friend, and the man I love more than life itself, on a trip together…
and I can’t help but feel like I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
I never thought that you had feelings for him, Els.
But I’m not so sure he doesn’t have feelings for you, and those feelings have to come from somewhere! ”
I take a breath and then decide to reveal as much as I can without hurting her.
“Nate and I were closer in high school than I let on…”
“Nate?” she asks, exasperated. “Closer? Ellie, you said you hardly knew him…that he was just a high school bully!”
“I…I tutored him. In physics.” I take a deep breath.
I need to be careful with my words. “We became really good…friends. He was going through a lot at the time. I wasn’t in his grade, and I didn’t know any of his friends, so he felt comfortable talking to me.
But then he hurt me. He threw away our…friendship…
and never talked to me again. I think maybe he didn’t want to do that.
But that…someone made him.” I will never betray Nate’s trust. Not even to make my sister feel better.
If he wanted her to know about his father, he would have told her himself.
“If he has feelings for me, they are probably feelings of regret and guilt. For our falling out. He’s always felt protective of me, Katie. That’s what that was out there.”
“Do you have feelings for him, Ellie?”
“No,” I lie.
I lie to my sister, and I lie to myself.
It’s the first time in three weeks that I lie convincingly.