Chapter 25
NATE (SENIOR YEAR, HIGH SCHOOL)
Rain pelts down on my bedroom window, emitting a cadence that suits the movie we are watching.
Ellie lies cuddled at my side, covers up to her chin as we watch Jack and Rose fall in love.
Rainy Saturdays have become my favorite days, and with the arrival of spring, we are getting them often.
I’ve traded drunken Saturday nights with the football team for quiet movie nights with Emmy and Ellie.
Emmy is at a sleepover tonight, so it’s just Ellie and me at my house.
Days like these feel like they could be our life after high school.
Lying in bed together, watching movies and cuddling.
The last seven months have been the happiest I’ve ever had.
My absence from high school parties has definitely been noticed, and there are whispers of me and Ellie at every turn, but I’m past the point of caring.
I have my path set. I have a full scholarship to Ohio State.
I’ll be out of this house and out from under Nathaniel’s thumb soon enough.
There’s not a damn thing he can do about it.
“I wonder what their life would have looked like if Jack had lived long enough to be rescued?” Ellie wonders out loud.
“Jack dies?!” I tease, bringing my hand to my chest in mock surprise. Ellie gently whacks me in the face with a pillow, giggling when I tickle her sides in response.
“I’m serious. Do you think they would have made it? As a couple? She was kind of giving everything up for him.”
“I know they’d make it as a couple.”
“How?”
“Because we are going to make it, and I’d give everything up for you.” I kiss the top of her head and tug her closer, burying my nose in her hair and breathing her in. I’ll never tire of her sweet vanilla lavender scent.
“I’d never ask you to,” she promises, staring up at me with so much affection in her eyes.
“I know. Which is how I know we’ll make it, and how I know they’d make it. Jack never asked her either.”
“Mm, good point, Mr. Westin,” she concedes. “She gave up her plans willingly. I will too, you know? Not that I ever had any real plans.” She laughs to herself.
“What do you mean, Pip?” I chuckle, distracted by the movie that I’m trying really hard not to love. I put up enough of a fit about watching it, so I’m just waiting for her to call me out.
She turns to face me. “I want to go with you.” She looks at me like she’s bracing herself for my reaction.
“I want you with me everywhere. But where are we going?” I ask, amused.
“Ohio State. When I graduate, I mean. I want to go to school there. To be with you. Unless you think that’s weird.
Or stalker-ish. Or maybe you want to do college separately.
Oh God…maybe you didn’t want to continue being together through college.
I guess I just assumed…I mean, we love each other.
I thought we wanted forever. We talked about forever, right?
Did I imagine us talking about forever?” She prattles on and on, not allowing me a second to cut in.
“I mean, I guess it was pretty presumptuous to assume you’d want me with you.
I can look at other schools. I don’t know if I’d even get in. It’s pretty competitive—”
“Ellie!” I shout, trying to get her attention.
She flinches, and I immediately regret raising my voice.
“I’m sorry, baby, I was just trying to get you to hear me.
” She nods her head, so I continue. “I’ve been trying to bring this up for months.
I don’t want you to feel any pressure, but I want you to come with me too.
I was kind of hoping you could just avoid the whole dorm thing, and we could just… live together.”
She stares at me for a total of two seconds before she throws herself onto my lap. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her close to my body, and feel her shoulders start to shake. “Baby, why are you crying?” I ask, concerned I said something to cause her tears.
“I just can’t wait to feel safe, Nate. All the time. I can’t wait to feel loved and wanted…and safe.” She buries her face in the side of my neck as I rock her back and forth, my hands running up and down her back.
“You’re always safe with me.”
“I know.” There isn’t an ounce of doubt hidden in her response.
I love that I’m able to be that person for her, that I’m able to protect her from her monster.
She returns to her side of the bed, and I can’t help but think about Emmy.
About how I’ll have to leave her behind.
My heart breaks in half at the thought. I wish I could be that person for her too.
The rain comes down harder, and thunder roars in the distance.
It feels fitting considering the Titanic just struck the iceberg.
Lightning flashes outside the window, and Ellie scoots closer, throwing her leg over mine.
I run my fingers through her hair, knowing it provides her comfort.
She told me that her mom used to play with her hair during storms when she was a little girl.
That’s the mom she misses. She’s been a shell of her former self for years.
Personally, I hate that woman. How she could allow that evil prick to live with her daughters, after everything he’s done, is unimaginable. They aren’t even his girls.
A fact I have yet to share with Ellie.
“I love Jack and Rose. They have a perfect sort of love, don’t they? Like Noah and Allie… Snow White and Prince Charming—”
“Romeo and Juliet?”
She scrunches her nose and shakes her head. “Way too tragic. I want a love like Johnny and June.”
“Soo, you want us to die within months of each other? Noted,” I tease. She rolls her eyes at me and turns back to the movie just as Rose flops off the door, swimming across the frigid water to reach the whistle and call for help.
“I want a Titanic moment,” she decides, nodding her head at the idea.
“You want to hold my hand as you watch me die? Only to fall asleep and leave me alone in my final moments? I love you, baby, but I’ll pass,” I joke, offering her a charming smile as she glares at me.
“No, Nate. I want you to be there after I die. I want to close my eyes and slip away from this world, only to open them and find you waiting for me in heaven.”
“You got it, baby. I’ll always wait for you, even in death,” I assure her. “You just have to promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“That even after I’m gone, you’ll live a long life. Like Rose does for Jack.” She looks at me for a long moment before shaking her head.
“We jump together, right? Sorry, Jack, I can’t make you that promise.” She shrugs. “I don’t make the rules.” She cackles as I tickle her sides again, annoyed with her answer. “Do you think we have a love like that?”
“Like Jack and Rose? Allie and Noah? Or Snow and Prince Charming?”
She smiles wide. “All of them.”
“No, Pip. We don’t have a love like them.” Her face falls before I continue. “We have something so much better. We have the type of love people would die for. They just haven’t written our story yet.”
Her eyes cloud, long lashes moving fast as she blinks away tears. “I really love you, you know?”
I twist from my spot and tackle her to the bed, hovering above her. “I really love you too. But if you tear my frozen hands from yours in the middle of the Atlantic, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life,” I tease.
“That won’t be a problem. I’d make room for you on the door.” Her eyes convey the truth of that promise.
A clash of thunder crashes above us, shaking the foundation of my house. Ellie’s eyes grow wide, and she pulls me down on top of her. I kiss her forehead and lift my weight from her small frame, turning on my side, but staying close. She turns to face me and pouts at the change in our position.
“I’m supposed to protect you, not squish you.” I laugh playfully.
She studies me for a long moment, her eyes flicking across my face. “Do you think it’s crazy? Being so young, but so certain we’ve found our person? Our forever?”
I take a minute to consider my answer. “I think most people only dream of feeling the way I did when I saw you sitting across from me at the library. I didn’t know what it meant then.
I just knew you were meant to be mine.” I caress her cheek, loving the way her eyes flutter closed at my touch.
“I think most people search their whole lives for their soulmate and never find them. So, no. I don’t think we are crazy.
I think we are lucky. We get to spend the rest of our lives feeling the kind of love most will never experience. ”
“Yeah,” she smiles warmly, “I think we’re the lucky ones.” She wraps her arms around my waist, and within seconds falls asleep peacefully in my arms as the storm rages outside.
I don’t know what fate has in store for us, but I know that I will spend the rest of my life loving the girl in my arms.