Chapter 34
NATE (PRESENT)
“Hang on, Pip, almost there.” The desperation in my voice is unmistakable as I pick up my pace, practically racing toward the cliffs.
My feet slam onto the ground below me, careful not to slip on the mud.
My calves burn as I try to stay upright, and my ankles twist in the sludge as I run uphill.
I hug Ellie closer to my chest, and I can almost feel her body temperature decreasing by the second.
Her intense shivering stopped minutes ago, but I don’t think that’s a good sign.
“You’re going to be okay, Ellie. I’m going to get you nice and warm soon, I promise,” I whisper in her ear. I look down at her still face. Her lips are turning a concerning shade of bluish purple. My heart stutters in my chest, terrified I’m losing the race against time.
“Listen to me, Ellison Hansel!” I demand, knowing she can’t hear me.
“I have gone through too much shit to get us here. I won’t let a little fucking rain take you from me.
Do you understand me?” Lightning flickers above my head, and I take it as a sign that some greater power is listening.
“DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!” I roar, tilting my head toward the sky.
I can’t stop the pent-up sob that tears out of my throat.
It’s not fair. None of this is fucking fair.
This life we were given. The things that we lost. The pain we’ve been through.
What did I do to deserve this? What did Ellie do?
Why don’t we just get to love each other?
Why can’t we just have an ounce of happiness?
“I’M SORRY!” I shout, still looking up at the clouds.
They are dark and angry, but so am I. “Whatever I did that was so fucking bad…whatever I did to earn all of this torture and heartache…I’m sorry.
Please…please…fuck. Just please don’t take her, okay?
” Thunder crashes in the distance, like a long deep, growl telling me to fuck off.
That’s fine. I’ve never needed anyone before, and I’m not going to start now.
The only person I’ll ever need is in my arms. I’ll protect her on my own, the way I always have.
Deep down, I know. I know why I am being punished now. But that doesn’t explain the shit I went through back then. Before I did what I did.
Before I did the world a favor.
I’m so lost in my thoughts I almost miss it as the trees clear, and I am able to see the overhang up ahead.
Another twenty feet and I’ll have Ellie somewhere dry and safe.
I sprint up the wet, slippery terrain, and close in on our salvation.
The ledge of the cliff juts out much farther than I expected, creating a nice deep cavern.
The opening is high enough that I don’t even have to bend to walk through it.
As I breach the entrance, I feel Ellie stir in my arms. She moans quietly and turns her face into my chest, seeking the warmth of my body.
“Shh, shh…I’ve got you, baby. I’m going to get a fire going, and you’re going to be nice and warm soon, okay?” She lets out a small hum, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. As long as she’s responsive, we’ve got a chance.
I walk us deeper into the shallow hollow, taking note of the dry branches, crispy leaves, and mossy limestone.
Thank fuck.
I set Ellie down on some dried leaves, tucking her as far into the alcove as I can. The overhang created a large cavity, allowing for plenty of open space, so it doesn’t trap in nearly enough warmth.
I check Ellie’s pulse, slow and thready. I need to get her warm immediately.
I walk over to a pile of sticks that were likely swept into the cavern over time.
I find several large, thick branches, and tons of smaller twigs.
Perfect for maintaining a fire. Best of all, they are dry.
I dig through foliage on the dirty ground, looking for a dried piece of flat bark to use as my base.
I find a large branch from a hibiscus tree, dry and lightweight.
I tear off a branch jutting out from the side, needing the same type of wood to create friction for my fire.
Once I have the supplies I need, I pile up some moss and dried leaves to use as tinder.
The deep cavity will protect the fire from the ferocious winds outside, which puts me in a much better spot for fire making than the night before.
Add in the benefit of having dry wood, and this should take no time at all.
The concave walls are high enough that having a fire inside the large burrow will be safe.
I can’t help but think about setting up a more permanent camp here.
Those are thoughts for a later time. Right now, the only thing that matters is getting Ellie warm.
I pile my tinder and set the flat piece of wood near the side of it.
I use a sharp rock to carve a small notch into the branch and make a groove down the center, creating a path to guide my other stick.
I wedge the large branch between my knee and the cave wall, holding it firm.
Taking the smaller stick, I hold it inside the notch, keeping it at an angle.
With steady hands, I press the smaller piece of wood back and forth in the track, creating friction from the force of my movements.
Sweat beads on my forehead as the task takes more energy than I have left to spare.
My heart is racing, and I find myself praying to a God that I’m not sure I believe in.
Several minutes pass before I start to feel the heat of the wood in my hands and notice a wisp of smoke rise from where the two branches connect.
I quicken my movements, pressing harder at the tip.
The smoke thickens, leaving a patch of charred kindling beneath the small stick.
I continue rubbing for a few more seconds, then carefully lift the branch and transfer the ember onto my pile of tinder.
With the gentlest of breaths, I lean forward and blow on the twigs softly.
A small red dot appears in the smoke, and I practically cry as I will the ember to grow.
I continue to blow on the pile of leaves, desperately trying to coax it to life.
The air around me becomes thick with white smoke.
I grab my pile of tinder and wave the bundle around to create some more airflow, blowing directly onto the center of the coal.
A small flame flickers, followed quickly by an intense orange glow.
I set the pile down as the fire roars, lighting the rest of the tinder quickly.
I reach around me for the piles of wood I brought over and toss the smaller twigs into the fire.
I create a circle out of the large rocks I found in the cavern and align the wood in a teepee arrangement.
Satisfied the fire will hold, I run over to Ellie and undress her. I throw her wet clothes to the side of the fire and then undress myself. I carry her limp body over to the fire, whispering praise and love in her ear. Letting her know she’s going to be okay.
I set her down in a pile of leaves beside the fire and climb on top of her, giving her my body heat. She starts to shiver violently against me, and I just cry. I cry as I hold on to her. I cry as I pray. I cry as I beg for her life.
I cry until I fall asleep.
“You kind of smell.”
I jolt awake as the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard filters through my ears. I pull back, looking down at Ellie’s wide eyes.
And face of disgust.
“You’re kind of hot and sweaty too.” She pushes at my chest, desperate to get out from underneath me.
I can’t help but laugh. I laugh until I am cracking up, lying on my back with tears trickling down my face.
Ellie laughs with me, our faces turned toward each other, eyes connected.
Our laughs die out slowly, and I take a deep shuddering breath.
“You’re okay.”
“I’m okay…thanks to you.”
“You know, I’d probably smell a lot better if I didn’t have to carry you and our food through the jungle,” I joke, trying to lighten up the serious moment.
I could have lost her.
She reaches over and lightly slaps my bare chest, laughing at me. I grab her hand before she can pull it back and thread our fingers together. I give her hand a small squeeze and bring it to my lips. I kiss her knuckles, one by one, then turn her hand over to kiss her palm.
“You started a fire,” she says almost shyly, as if my kissing her is a new experience.
I guess in a way, it is.
“I did.”
I release her hand and we both sit up, fanning our fingers out in front of the fire. I reach over and grab our clothes, happy to feel that they are mostly dry now. I hand Ellie her shirt and leggings and pull my T-shirt over my head.
“We’d so knock that Naked and Afraid thing out of the park.” She grins as she quickly dresses herself.
I let out a rough laugh. “Oh yeah, Pip. We are doing great out here.”
She scoots over to me, the need to be close to each other feeling magnetic. It can’t be helped. We just gravitate to each other, closing the distance like a moth to a flame.
She reaches for me, cupping my cheek in her hand. Leaning forward, she captures my lips lightly, keeping our kiss short, but sweet.
“Thank you,” she says quietly against my mouth.
“I thought I smelled bad?” I say softly, lips still touching.
“Yeah. Your breath isn’t great either,” she whispers. I feel her smile against my lips.
“Too bad.” I take her mouth again, not giving her a chance to deny my tongue as I slide it into her mouth, capturing her sweet moan.
She pulls back before this can get out of hand, and I can see it in her eyes.
Answers.
She needs answers. If anything can progress between us, she needs the truth.
I know our talk is coming. The one that scares me as much as it excites me.
It excites me because I will finally be free of it.
No more secrets between us. I don’t want to hurt her with the truth, but it’s a truth I can’t hide from her anymore.
This talk can’t wait, not for a rescue that may never come.
Not until we get back home. Not for me to properly end things with Katie.
But it has to wait until I get her safe and fed.
I stand up and walk over to our basket of coconuts.
I grab one of the larger shells, along with a flat, sharp rock, and bring them back over to the fire.
I secure the coconut between my feet and raise the rock above my head.
I bring it down hard against the pointy part of the coconut shell, repeating the motion over and over.
I hear a faint crack and set the rock back down.
I lift the coconut and peel apart the husk, setting it aside to use as tinder for our fire, then I take the coconut shell and bash it against the rock—right in the center.
A perfect fissure forms all the way around the coconut, allowing me to pull it apart evenly, while salvaging the water inside.
My stomach growls loudly as I look down at the meaty center and sweet water.
I hand Ellie the bigger side. The side containing the sweet nectar.
She takes a large sip, moaning as she swallows, and then hands it back.
I shake my head, planning to go out for bamboo shortly.
The rain is nothing but a drizzle now, so the trek won’t be that difficult.
“Take some,” she demands. She gives it back to me, nearly forcing it into my hands. “I won’t drink another drop unless you do.”
I smile at her pouty lips and bring the coconut shell to my mouth. I take a small sip of the sweet water, the flavor exploding in my mouth.
We will definitely be looking for more coconuts.
I hand the shell back to Ellie, along with a rock so she can cut into the white meat.
We sit quietly for several minutes devouring our coconuts, hardly even looking at each other. I can almost feel my body refueling itself with the protein and fiber it’s been begging for.
“What now?” Ellie asks, almost like she is dreading the answer.
“Now, we turn this place into a shelter.” I can see my answer surprises her as much as it makes sense.
We already have three walls of solid rock.
We can easily insulate the interior with clay and mud and build a door of sorts for the opening of the overhang.
I look up to tell Ellie as much, but I’m already met with her stare.
Her brows are furrowed, and her distant gaze is filled with raw, unfiltered agony.
They glisten with unspoken pain, a flicker of anger hidden beneath the surface.
“I don’t want it to hurt anymore. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. Make it stop, Nate.”