Chapter 17
Aiden
Buying the building is taking longer than I expected. Trips back and forth have become routine, and after a few months, during one of those trips, Jay drives over from Portland to join me in a meeting with the contractor I hired to renovate the vacant spaces.
Jay did a ton of research on the building controls after the inspection revealed the heating system issues. Because he’s a software engineer, he understood the programming and found it easy to grasp how it all fit together.
He’s come prepared with an innovative plan for the mechanical system, asking questions I wouldn’t have known to ask the contractor, and ultimately saving me thousands of dollars in repair costs.
After we finish, I drive us down the coast in the new SUV I just bought, to a popular seafood restaurant in Cannon Beach for dinner.
We enjoy clam chowder and fish and chips, then take a walk on the beach, admiring the stunning view of Haystack Rock.
It’s a late fall day; the ocean breeze is blowing as we walk on the sand and watch the sun go down. Jay’s sandy blond hair is blowing in the wind, his cheeks are flushed, and the sunset’s making his face glow.
I’m captivated, as my heart flutters in my chest. It’s like a scene in a movie where two people meant to be together finally reconnect. The urge to pull him into my arms and kiss him feels so powerful, like gravity pulling me toward him.
I want this with him so badly, and there are moments I think he might be ready. I saw the longing in his eyes today when he thought I wasn’t looking, but when I caught his eye, he quickly masked it with a shy smile.
I consider testing the waters, maybe taking his hand and running my thumb across his skin.
But he’s been quiet the farther we’ve walked.
I can tell from how he’s biting his lower lip and shoving his hands deep into his pockets that he’s pondering something he wants to say.
In moments like these, I don’t push; I wait for him to share what’s on his mind when he’s ready.
It doesn’t take long before he turns towards me.
“It used to be moments like these that I dreaded the most.”
I’m confused. “What do you mean?”
“These are those picture-perfect moments that followers eat up, right?” His expression is contemplative and sad. “Ray used to chase these kinds of days when we were together.
“He would order me around, telling me when to smile, when to kiss him, and to soften my face so I looked like I was in love with him as he snapped photo after photo and took videos of what should have been private moments.”
He looks back at the crashing waves. “But it was all a lie to impress people we didn’t even know. It was exhausting. I never want to be put in that position again, to have my life on display for people to weigh in on, good or bad.”
I let out a shaky breath. “Jay, that’s completely valid,” I say, forcing an encouraging smile.
My earlier thoughts that this might be our moment has vanished. It pains me not only to consider what that experience was like for him but also to read between the lines. He’s telling me what he wants for his future—a private life.
He’s asked me not to talk about my sex life, which is connected to my content, and I’ve respected that. Even though I’m not creating anything new, I’m still recycling old posts and revealing a part of myself to the world.
To have a future with him, I have some choices to make.
He smiles and nods, then drops the subject, and we head back to the parking lot. He took the day off from work today, but he needs to get back to Portland for a morning meeting, so we head back to Astoria to where he left his car.
Standing awkwardly outside the driver’s door of his four-door sedan, we say goodbye once again.
I have meetings all day tomorrow, followed by an early morning flight back to New York the next day, so I won’t see him again this trip.
My realtor, Harrison, is taking me to the airport so I won’t have to impose on Jay.
“Well, I’ll see you next time,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets, digging for his keys.
“Hopefully, if all goes right, my next trip will be my big move,” I say, holding his door open for him as he throws his messenger bag across the seat.
We wrap our arms around each other, keeping our hands in purely platonic places. I hold him longer than I probably should, but my heart doesn’t want to let him go.
Every trip gets harder, and every moment together reinforces my desire for us to go the distance. I want us to be together forever, and I’ll be patient so we’re both ready for when that finally happens.
Jay drives away, and I immediately feel the loss of being with him, already missing his warm smile and the way his laughter fills my heart as his taillights disappear.
On the flight back to New York, all I can think about is the conversation on the beach.
Is it finally time to shut down my social media accounts and OnlyFans?
It’s been part of my plan on paper, and I’m barely posting content as it is, but the reality feels more complicated.
It still provides a steady income and acts as a safety net.
For twelve years, I’ve lived my life on camera, portraying a carefully crafted version of myself.
What my followers see is Aiden Fox, the confident, well-built thirst trap, who jets off to exotic cities and acts as if every night is a party.
That persona I created was to charm people, not to reveal who I truly am.
I used to lean into the act, but now the man I want to be is Aiden Amato—quiet, low-key, and more private.
I’d rather sit on the couch watching movies with Jay and playing with my cats than hop on a plane to go to a late-night party.
I prefer hikes and sleepy towns to over-crowded, flashy cities and loud clubs.
I want something real and lasting, not a staged life for strangers.
Really, it all comes down to what I truly want, so there’s nothing else to think about. It’s time.
Once I’m back home, I pull the plug; posting farewell messages across my social platforms and giving my OnlyFans subscribers plenty of notice. I’ll delete the account within the month.
As far as I can tell, Jay doesn’t follow me anywhere, and I’m not telling him yet. He doesn’t need to bear any part of this decision or feel like he’s costing me something. He shouldn’t think he made me give this up.
No surprise, my phone’s been blowing up with messages from guys I’ve worked with, shocked that I’m finished. I planned for this and drafted short and simple replies, but a few people will need longer conversations.
MacM: What the hell, dude?
Aiden: I know, I should have let you know ahead of time. FaceTime?
Two minutes later, Mac’s call comes through. When I answer, Mac has a pissed-off, wounded look, while Leon looks more reserved but tense.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve called you before I posted,” I say, already bracing for their response.
“What’s going on with you?” Mac snaps, more intensely than I expected.
I take a breath. He sounds hurt, and I understand why. “This is something I’ve been planning for a long time. I’m making some big changes, and I’m working toward a different life.”
“Why is this the first we’re hearing about it?” Leon asks, softer but just as puzzled. “We’ve known you for five years. We thought we were friends.”
“It’s on me,” I admit. “I’ve always been careful about what I share, especially around collabs. But I should’ve told you sooner.”
Leon gives me a small, sympathetic smile through the screen. “Look, we get it. Trust is hard to manage in this game.”
“Thanks. I didn’t decide this overnight.”
I fill them in on my business plans and that I’ve just finished my MBA.
They bombard me with questions; business-focused talk I actually enjoy. They get it because they’ve got rental properties and other businesses, not just content, so they know what they’re talking about.
“So, why Oregon?” Leon asks. “You live in New York.”
“Well, that’s the other reason I’m making a change. Jay lives in Oregon. We reconnected in Florida, and I’m hoping one day soon we’ll be more than friends.”
“Whoa, that’s awesome,” Mac says. “We’re happy for you. We heard that Ray and Jay broke up. Did you know Ray moved to Miami?”
I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what’s coming. “I knew he’d left Portland, but I didn’t know he’d moved down there. You’ve seen him?”
“Yeah. He’s been putting out a lot of content,” Leon replies. “He made it sound like Jay cheated, but we didn’t buy it. Also, he’s dating Riley now. You remember him from Fort Lauderdale?”
“What the fuck, he’s dating Riley?” I feel ice spike through my veins.
Riley’s a sweet kid; Ray will chew him up and spit him out.
“It seems pretty new,” Mac continues. “We tried to warn him, but he seems pretty smitten.”
“Give me a sec to text Jay,” I say, fingers flying across the keyboard.
They should know the truth about Ray, but I want Jay’s permission first before I tell them.
Aiden: Talking with Mac and Leon. They have info about Ray that’s bad. R U ok if I fill them in?
Jay is working right now, but I don’t have to wait long before getting his response.
Jay: Of course! What’s going on?
Aiden: I’ll finish the convo then call you.
Jay: K
I fill them in and text them a few of the pictures of Jay after the assault. They’re not pretty, but they show the truth. I want them to see what Ray did and help get Riley away from him.
Mac is stunned. “Something always felt off with him, but I didn’t expect this. We’re on it. He won’t be able to find anyone to stick his dick in from here to LA once we’re done.”
We continue talking for a bit, and they assure me they’ll take care of it.
After we hang up, I FaceTime Jay.
“What’s going on?” he asks, his voice tense.
“Did you know Ray moved to Miami?”
I notice his body goes rigid. “No, I didn’t know where he went. After the damage to my house, and Heather telling his attorney the costs would come out of his share, I haven’t heard a thing.”
“Well, he moved down there, and he’s dating Riley.”
“What?” There’s a noticeable strain in Jay’s voice. “Riley’s such a great kid. We have to do something.”
“Mac and Leon are already handling it,” I reassure him. “I sent them the photos of your injuries. I hope that’s okay. They’ve got reach in Miami, and they’ll take care of Riley.”
There’s a small exhale of relief in Jay’s voice. “Please tell them thank you for me.”
“I will. It’s going to be okay.”
A few days later, Mac Facetimes again.
“Please tell me some good news,” I say when I pick up.
“It’s handled. Once word got out, it spread like wildfire, and Ray’s been blackballed. He’s not finding anyone to film with anytime soon.”
A rush of relief loosens something in my chest. “Good. What about Riley?”
“I went to see him myself and showed him the photos,” Mac says. “Riley really liked Jay, and the minute he saw those pictures and heard what Ray did, he dropped him fast.”
“Jay’s going to be relieved when I tell him.”
He’s been on edge about Riley for days.
Mac laughs. “And karma did its thing. Ray violated TOS on OnlyFans and got restricted. Instagram shut him down, too.”
“What the hell did he post?” I ask.
I understand all about terms of service and the consequences of violations.
“From what I hear, hardcore fetish shit, trying to boost his reach. He’s such an amateur. He was begging to get shut down.” Mac’s disgust is loud and clear. “Plus, he had already lost a ton of followers after the split with Jay.”
That makes me smile. When Ray only got a misdemeanor with no jail time, I was pissed.
I wanted more. It wasn’t justice, not the way I pictured it, but this helps.
Losing his platform hurts him. There are other sites he can be on that don’t have the same level of restrictions, but he’ll have to rebuild, and he’s already lost credibility.
“Good. He deserved it.”
“We’ll stay on top of him,” Mac says. “If he so much as winks at our circles, we’ll cut him off at the knees.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
“Hey, don’t be a stranger just because you’re out of the game. We still want to be friends, and we expect an invitation to the wedding,” he adds with a wink.
“If we ever get there, and God, I hope we do, you’ll both be on the list,” I promise.
I hang up feeling lighter than I have in weeks. Maybe this chapter is finally closed, and we won’t have to deal with Ray Murphy ever again.