Chapter 19
Aiden
Once we settled into the hotel room, I was about to lose it, so I did the only thing I could think of and went for a workout.
The hotel gym, if you can even call it that, has an old treadmill, a creaky adjustable bench, and a sad rack of worn-out free weights.
It’s not ideal, but running feels like the safest bet for burning off the tension coursing through my veins.
I’ve been half-hard since Jay arrived in New York two days ago, and if I don’t do something soon, I’m heading for a severe case of blue balls by the end of this trip.
Sliding in my earbuds, I run hard, powering through ten songs on my workout playlist. Sweat streams down my back, and my legs feel like they’re on fire. When I finally hit the stop button and wipe down the machine, my heart is pounding, but the physical effort has done little to calm my nerves.
Jay’s been giving me these soft, lingering looks all day, and I don’t know how to handle it. I keep telling myself I’m waiting for him to make the first move, that I need to be sure he’s ready. But the truth is, I’m running out of patience, fast.
The fantasies I’ve been having, fueled by rewatching our video more times than I’d like to admit, are on an endless loop. And let’s just say, my right hand has been working overtime. It’s getting ridiculous.
When I return, the lights are off except for the warm glow of the lamp between the beds. Jay’s curled up across the room, buried under the covers, engrossed in whatever he’s looking at on his phone.
“Hey,” I say softly, “I’m gonna hop in the shower.”
He startles as he looks up, dropping his phone face down on the mattress. For a second, a flicker of heat crosses his face before he quickly looks away and shifts under the blankets.
My brain jumps to conclusions. Maybe I interrupted something. Maybe he was watching porn. And now, all I can think about is him, flushed and hard beneath the sheets.
“Sounds good,” he mumbles, not meeting my eyes. “I was just about to crash. I’m pretty tired.”
“I’ll be quiet when I come back in,” I reply, backing into the bathroom.
I crank on the hot water, letting it flow down my back, trying to ease the ache in my muscles.
But I’m too keyed up, and my cock is hard as a rock.
Knowing Jay is right on the other side of the door makes it a hell of a lot worse.
Jerking off in the shower seems unwise, but I won’t get any sleep if I don’t find some relief.
Taking myself in hand, I fist my dick and give it firm, hard strokes.
Images I’ve watched a hundred times flash behind my eyes—Jay stretched out beneath me, my cock penetrating him over and over again, the feel of his cum soaking us at the pleasure I gave him.
It’s all I need before I’m spilling across the tile, biting down on my fist to stifle the moans. It’s just enough to take the edge off.
When I come out of the bathroom, I pause in the doorway and listen. It sounds like Jay’s asleep, so I quietly crawl into bed and reach over to turn off the lamp.
A soft glow from the parking lot seeps in through a gap in the curtains, casting faint shadows across the room. At the foot of the bed, Maisy stretches, then climbs up and curls into my side. Daisy briefly lifts her head, then flops back down with a sigh, already out cold.
I lie there, my eyes fixed on the ceiling, while Jay’s presence, just a few feet away, settles over me; the steady rhythm of his breathing and the occasional soft snore echo through the room.
He’s told me the nightmares he had early on are gone, but I still listen for any signs of distress. If he wakes up shaken, I want to be ready to help him. Eventually, sleep finally drags me under, but it’s restless and shallow.
The alarm blares early, jolting both of us awake. We devour a hotel breakfast, then pack up our stuff, including my two finicky cats, who protest every movement as if they’re being personally wronged.
Intending to reach somewhere in Iowa by nightfall, we settle in the van just as the sky lightens. Jay takes the wheel, steering us onto the highway, with the sun rising behind us, casting long shadows across the pavement.
He’s been quiet all morning, so I decide to break the silence the only way I know how.
“Hey,” I say, glancing over at him, “where does Princess Leia shop for Father’s Day?”
He gives me an amused smirk. “Oh no, please don’t tell me we’re starting the day with a stupid joke?”
“Why not? It’s the best way to start the day! Where does she shop?” I tease him.
He sighs dramatically. “I have no idea, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” he says, laughing. That’s exactly what I was hoping for.
I grin. “At the Darth Maul.”
He bursts out laughing. In an instant, the tension lifts, and we spend the next hour trading bad jokes.
After we stop for lunch, I take the driver’s seat. Jay falls quiet again, but this time I don’t push. We settle into a comfortable silence, music humming low through the speakers, the rhythm of the road steady beneath us.
Fifty miles tick by before I finally ask, “You okay?”
He’s chewing on his lower lip, his fingers tapping restlessly on his knees.
When he finally speaks, he asks, “Do you ever think about Florida?”
Not what I expected, but if he’s finally opening the door, I’m going to be completely honest with him.
“All the time,” I say, my eyes flicking over at him.
“Really?” He sounds genuinely surprised, like he never considered I thought about it.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I? That was the hottest, best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”
He blinks at me, stunned. “You can’t be serious. I mean, it was amazing for me, too, but…you’ve been with how many guys? It couldn’t have been better than any of them.”
A heavy wave of emotion washes over me. Disbelief, maybe a little hurt. Does he really think that? A thousand hot guys could be lined up in front of me, and I’d pick him every time.
“Hold that thought,” I say, signaling as I pull off the highway and into a rest stop.
I don’t want to be driving while we have this conversation.
I find a parking spot away from other cars, kill the engine, and turn to face him. His eyes are glassy, and his expression of anguish makes me ache. This is it. I’m done holding back.
Reaching across the console, I gently brush away the single tear that’s pooled beneath his eye.
“Baby,” I say softly, “there is no one I could ever want more than you.”
His face twists. “How can you say that? I don’t deserve you saying that.”
I lift his chin, forcing him to look me in the eye. “Jay, I need you to really listen and let this sink in.”
He looks away, but I won’t let him.
“Look at me, please.”
His gaze finds mine again, and the tears fall freely down his cheeks.
“You are all I want. This move, everything I’ve been doing, is for you. So I can be with you.”
I take a deep breath, my voice trembling. “I’m so in love with you, baby.”
A sob escapes his throat, and it undoes me.
I close the distance between us and press my lips to his, firmly and full of everything I’ve been holding back.
The taste of his tears is salty and electric, grounding me in the moment.
The connection hits like a lightning bolt, sealing everything I’ve ever wanted.
He freezes for a heartbeat, then melts into me. Hunger takes over, and he’s kissing me back with the same aching urgency that’s lived inside me for months. His lips part, soft and eager, and I plunge my tongue into his mouth, claiming him.
My hand finds the side of his face, then the back of his head, threading through his hair and pulling him closer. I want to crawl inside him, to stay wrapped in this forever.
God, kissing him is everything, more than I imagined. I could stay right here for hours, doing this, just us.
Eventually, we break apart, breathless and chests heaving.
Jay looks completely wrecked, but in the best way — flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and glassy eyes. He scans my face like he’s trying to find something. I wait him out.
He takes a few deep, steadying breaths. “I want this with you, Aiden,” he says, desperation clinging to every word. “But…there are some things I don’t know if I can get past.”
“Like what?” I ask, genuinely confused.
What could there possibly be that we can’t work through?
He lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t go back to having my life on display,” he says softly. “I know your OnlyFans is an enormous source of income, and I respect that, but I can’t live like that again. And I don’t know if I can handle the fact that you’re with other people.”
And now I feel like shit. I thought I was respecting his wishes not to say anything, but I should’ve told him sooner. God, why didn’t I tell him?
“Baby,” I say, reaching for his hand. “I shut down my OnlyFans and all my social media accounts months ago. Even before that, I was only posting my old content. I haven’t had sex with anyone else since Florida. Not once. I don’t want anyone else.”
His mouth falls slightly open. The look on his face is a mixture of shock and disbelief. He just stares at me. Barely blinking. Shit, did I break him?
“Baby?” I whisper. “Please, say something.”
He finally finds his voice, blinking hard. “Wait, let me get this straight: you aren’t on any social media anymore? Not even OnlyFans? And you haven’t had sex with anyone since Florida?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
He stares at me as if I’ve grown a second head. “Aiden… Florida was months ago! How the hell have you gone that long without sex? And… why?”
I laugh, half-amused. “I won’t lie, it’s been a rough time for my dick. But after being with you, I didn’t want anyone else. You’re it for me. You’re all I want.” I squeeze his hand, letting the truth settle between us. “I love you, Jay.”
He launches himself at me, and suddenly we’re kissing like a couple of horny teenagers. We’re both hungry, reckless, and desperate to make up for lost time.
I’m so hard I’m practically bursting through the seam of my pants, but as much as I want this, I don’t want our first time back together to be in a sweaty, cramped moving van that smells of fast food and cat litter.
I’ve gotten very good at ignoring erections, and I call on all that hard-earned discipline to slow us down. I gently pull back, resting my forehead against his.
“Baby,” I breathlessly whisper, “we need to stop before we can’t stop.”
He nods, his lips still parted, pupils blown wide. “I think that’s a good idea.”
I press a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, trying to cool the fire burning under my skin.
“Let’s get out and stretch our legs.”
The cats have been loudly protesting their captivity for a while now, but we’ve been too wrapped up in each other to notice. I finally unzip their carrier, letting them roam the van’s cab and use the litter box while we step out.
We head to the restroom first. Standing side by side at the urinals with our dicks out is a whole new level of torture. I stare straight ahead, willing myself not to glance over and make this already charged situation worse.
When we step back outside, I reach for Jay’s hand, and this time, I don’t let go. We still have a lot to talk about and figure out. But the truth is out there, and I’m all in.
We take a slow walk around the rest stop, stretching our legs and breathing in the fresh air. As we reach the van, I pull him into a full-body hug. He immediately sinks into me, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist.
When we break apart, I cup his face for a second, brushing my thumb over his cheek.
“Let’s find a place to stop for the night in the next town,” I say, my voice low, dripping with desire.
It’s hours earlier than we planned, but I need him. All of him.
Jay smiles, eyes shining, and nods. “I think that’s a great idea.”