31. Chapter Thirty-One #2
We both know it fits her perfectly, since she wore it last week. But as I look at her, I understand exactly what she means.
A faint laugh escapes my throat.
“What?” she asks, her voice tinged with humor.
“Are you breaking up with me, too?” I say, my tired laugh a mix of relief and pain.
Mandy chuckles. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
My laugh deepens, spreading through me like a fire until it’s so deep my body is shaking. Mandy laughs too, and for a moment we marvel in the loss of our pretend engagement, knowing it’s not really a loss. You can’t lose something you never had.
She turns me around and grabs her makeup again. Her bright gaze holds mine sternly.
“That’s enough tears,” she says, applying the makeup underneath my eyes again. Her comforting touch makes me smirk. “We have a wedding to go to,” she says warmly. “And you, Trey Kelly, have a boyfriend to win back.”
“I don’t think he wants me back, Mandy. He was pretty clear about that.”
She moves to my other eye and does the same thing. Her touch is no longer cold.
She caps her makeup and straightens my tie.
“Do you remember when we both were trying to get TJ Watt to sign a deal?” she asks softly.
“Remember? How could I forget?” I say with a smile. “You were relentless.”
She smiles brightly. “And yet he signed with Nutri-Go,” she says.
“Yeah, but—”
“You are a good salesman. Not because you know how to pitch a product, or because you’re good looking.
It’s because you thrive in the fire, the chaos.
You are relentless, too, Trey. And the eleventh hour never scares you,” she says with a grin.
“When the chips are down, that’s when you sell your best.” She shrugs.
“So dry your tears, get off the fucking bench, and run the damn game, Trey.” She pats me on the shoulder.
“Just take the shot. You’ve got nothing to lose. ”
She’s right.
I’ve already lost everything.
Except the hope burning in my heart that refuses to die.
When Austen said this was going to be a small wedding, he wasn’t kidding.
The courtyard of the Gustave is spacious, but there are barely ninety chairs strewn across the stone patio, all facing the large A-frame wooden arch that’s covered completely in ivy.
The wall of the building is covered in moss and flowers, and there are candles strewn on all the pillars surrounding the altar—which is more or less a platform—and along the aisles.
“Wow…” I say as I take in the sight. It’s so different from the last time Austen got married, that’s for sure. I glance around the crowd, most of them unfamiliar faces, except for Austen’s parents and Alex and…
“Kelly!” Mack says with a grin, moving to pull me into a hug. Alex casually strolls up beside him, his green eyes roving over me skeptically. He glances at Mandy.
“How you been, man?” Mack asks, pulling back.
Alex twists his lips. “Mandy.”
She gives him a knowing gaze as she fixes her hair, showing off her bare hand.
“I’ve, uh… been better,” I say honestly, glancing at Alex. “I was hoping we could, you know talk about—”
“Surprised to see you two lovebirds here. Together. After someone called and threw a fucking fit about my fucking photo dump, causing a fight—-and I quote, ‘ruining their relationship,’” Alex bites at Mandy, completely ignoring me.
Mack glares at him, smacking him in the chest.
“What the fuck?”
Alex doesn’t even bristle, nor does he look bothered.
“Oh, that’s a funny story, isn’t it, Trey?
” Mandy shoots me a smirk, and I know exactly what she’s doing.
My heartbeat quickens, my chest tightens, and my throat feels dry, but this is what I need to do.
And maybe it’s a little easier, knowing she’s here to back me up. Like the amazing friend she truly is.
“Actually, there was no engagement,” I say, holding Alex’s gaze. “At all.”
Mack’s eyebrows furrow.
“What?”
“I lied.” I shrug.
Mack looks at me like I have three heads.
“Why would you lie about being engaged, and who are you then?” he asks Mandy.
“Mandy Carvalli,” she says, extending her hand to him. “Trey’s long-time friend and corporate rival—Oh, and Hudson’s stepsister.” She smiles brightly. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard all the stories.”
Mack glares at me. “What stories?”
“So you were never engaged,” Alex says, completely glossing over Mack’s bitter tone.
I shake my head.
“No. I mean, Mandy and I pretended we were for a long time, because—”
Mandy pulls her hand back from Mack’s.
“Men can be assholes,” she says. “Especially when you work in the athletic nutrition industry.”
Alex nods. “So Trey was your armor.”
She nods. “Basically, yes.”
“So… you two… never… together? Ever?”
I shake my head as she does. We both speak at the same time.
“Oh, no… definitely not.”
Mack laughs.
“Wow, that’s shocking,” he says.
His words shouldn’t hurt, but they do. More than they should. It’s how he’s always known me to be. It’s how they all knew me to be… before.
“People change, you know,” I say, looking at Mandy, then back at Alex. “That was what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”
“Me?” Alex places a hand on his chest and raises an eyebrow. “What the fuck did I do now?”
Mack glares at him suspiciously.
“You, uh… you’re… bi,” I say carefully.
Mandy squeezes my arm assuringly.
Alex narrows his gaze. “Yeah, that’s not exactly news, Kelly… I mean, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last fucking decade.”
Mack smacks him again.
“Ow! Will you stop that?” Alex shoves him, and I tense, worried they’re going to get into a damn fight right here, but Mack only rolls his eyes.
“Adding that to your fucking tab.”
Alex’s eyes widen and he tenses. He stands up straighter and looks back at me, slightly more composed. “Sorry, you were saying?”
“Um… Mack, is it?” Mandy asks.
“Jordan, actually,” Mack says with a grunt.
“Do you happen to know where the bathrooms are?” she asks sweetly.
“Oh yeah, go in and make a—”
Mandy reaches for him, grabbing his arm and practically yanks him out of Alex’s proximity, despite the fact she’s smaller than the rest of us.
“Show me,” she says, dragging him toward the back of the building, leaving Alex and I alone.
Alex smirks at me.
“So, you think you’re bi, is that it?” he asks coolly. “Having a pre-thirties existential identity crisis?”
“Can you be serious for like two seconds?”
He purses his lips. “Yeah, totally.”
“Okay, so… I kind of dated this guy for a while and…” I stop. Alex looks at me with concern. “Hudson,” I say, my voice steady.
“Hudson… what?” he asks.
“I… kind of was dating Hudson.”
If Alex is surprised, he doesn’t show it. In fact, he almost looks completely unfazed, except for the twitch in his lips, the faint smirk forming on his face.
“Hudson, huh?” His voice is smooth as he raises an eyebrow.
“And, uh… things got sort of serious, but—”
“You fucked it up,” he says solidly.
“Yeah…” I run a hand through my hair nervously.
Alex nods. “That sucks.” He slides his hands in his pockets, his expression softening. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks, his voice serious. “You could have said something, Trey. You know, in your fit of rage. Or you could have told me or texted or—”
“I didn’t know how,” I admit. “I wanted to, though. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. Hudson and I were supposed to come here together and tell you guys, but after he saw the pictures…”
Alex frowns. “Oh. Shit. I didn’t know, Trey, I—”
“I know.” I hold his gaze. “I should have said something sooner, and it wouldn’t have happened. It’s not entirely your fault.”
“So, what are you going to do?” he asks curiously.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “But I think this is a start.” I give him a half-smile as he furrows his eyebrows.
“What is?”
I point between us. “Telling the truth, for one, but also… telling you.”
Alex looks confused. “Me?”
I nod, smiling at his shock.
“I mean, we are friends, right, Alex?” I say. “And you probably have a lot more experience with this… sort of thing than I do, so—”
Alex’s lips turn up into a smile. “Oh, I see how it is.” His voice is light, full of humor.
“You need a dick mentor, is that it?” He laughs, and I can’t help the flush in my cheeks or the groan that escapes me.
“You know what? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea—”
Alex sets his hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze.
His voice drops, the humor fading into something a little more serious.
“You need a guy, I’ll be your guy.” He says it so simply, so warmly, it’s hard not to smile.
“Mack must be rubbing off on you,” I say. “You’re starting to sound like a nice guy all of a sudden.”
“Fuck you, Kelly,” he says, pulling me into a hug. “Your tab is up to three drinks now, just for that.”
I hug him back, feeling better. Alex breaks away giving me a smirk.
“Noted,” I say as Mandy and Mack return to our sides, Mack clearing his throat.
“They’re telling everyone to get seated. We’ve got fifteen minutes,” he says, looking at his watch. “Where the hell are Andre, Paul, and—”
“Ah, there he is,” Alex says in a low voice, and I turn to see him , standing there with Paul and Andre, dressed in a deep blue suit, his golden-brown hair swept back, looking absolutely perfect.
“Hudson…” I breathe his name, swallowing hard.
Mandy and Mack turn to look that way too, and for a minute, time stops when he catches my gaze.
I want to move, but I can’t. Because that’s when the officiant comes out, announcing to everyone we need to take our seats.
Alex grabs Mack’s hand, and the motion is so natural , so effortless. Mack slides his fingers between Alex’s, and there’s no hesitation.
I think back to those nights with Mack in our dorm, the parties we used to go to, the girls we used to mess around with, and the games we used to play, and it’s a strange sort of contrast. I catch the faintest turn of his head as he looks at Alex, who is looking straight ahead, and in that one look, I know it doesn’t matter who he was before he and Alex got together.
Straight, bi, gay, whatever. It doesn’t matter.
Because he loves Alex now.
Like I love Hudson now.
And if Jordan Mackenzie can tell everyone without fear, maybe I can, too.
I’m acutely aware of how close Hudson is, and I realize I might not have another chance to do this, because it’s likely he’ll leave after the ceremony and never speak to me again.
So I make a quick decision, stopping in the middle of the aisle and turning, just as Hudson runs into me.
“What the fuck?” he grumbles. “Trey…”
“Hudson,” I say as he tries to move around me, but I block him.
He lets out a grunt. “Move.”
Andre and Paul slink by us with only a brief glance at me, then Hudson, as the rest of the folks start to fill in the seats.
“No,” I say. “I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.”
“Trey, do not make a scene here,” Hudson grits out. “We don’t have time for this—”
“I will move. On one condition.” I hold his gaze steady.
The world around me disappears, and I realize I don’t give a shit about anything else at this moment but him.
Us.
Hudson’s gaze holds mine.
“What?” he says, his voice bitter, but also tired. I note the way he glances around us, the way he tenses.
“Talk to me.”
Hudson shoves me aside, trying to move past me, but I grab his hand and he stops.
An older man, dressed in a grey suit stops next to us.
“I’m going to need you two to sit down,” he says solidly. “We’re about to—”
“Just a second.” I hold up my hand. Hudson’s eyes widen with a mixture of fear and anger, but also shock.
“There a problem, Kelly?” Alex’s voice is firm, but not angry.
“I just want a moment of your time, Huds. That’s it.”
Hudson runs his hand over his face as Paul comes up beside us, Mandy and Mack already vacating their chairs.
“I need you all to take your seats,” the old man says as Mack asks, “What the hell is going on?”
The music starts playing, some classical rendition of My Chemical Romance’s The Black Parade, judging by the opening notes.
“I can’t do this right now,” Hudson says, pulling his arm from my grip. “And you’re only making it worse by doing this right now.”
“Hudson, are you okay?” Mandy asks, and the anger that flashes in his eyes is unmistakable.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” Hudson mutters, finally getting away from me and taking a seat toward the back, between others so there’s no room for me to follow.
The song continues on, and everyone is staring. Suddenly, I feel so on the spot. My cheeks heat, and I look around to find Mandy, who is waving me over. I hurry up to sit behind her.
“Shit, I just made it worse,” I say, swallowing hard.
She settles her hand on my arm and gives me a squeeze before looking over her shoulder.
“It’s okay. There’s still plenty of time. He didn’t leave.”
“Not yet,” I mutter, sinking into my seat and waiting for the grooms to walk down the aisle.