Chapter 15
Madden
THERE’S A NOTHINGNESS that exists in the water once I dive into it, pushing my body deep and cutting through the surface.
The tranquility of swimming does everything to calm the storm that’s been brewing inside me for the past few days.
For the past few years, if I’m being honest, and that is part of the reason why I push myself when I’m here.
With my muscles screaming and my body bone tired, it gives my brain fewer chances to think, to analyze.
With the calm from the water around me I can let go of the pretense that I have all the answers.
With one more lap to go, out of the twenty-five I’ve swum tonight, I start to feel it. The tingles on my spine, crawling on my skin. I’m not alone in the pool anymore. At the end of the lane, I bob up, lifting my goggles and glance around.
“Lily?”
Her body is sitting on the far edge, her feet dangling in the water. Her blonde hair falls around her shoulders, and I don’t miss the way her cheeks pinken when I say her name.
“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” I ask, using my arms to haul myself out of the water and grabbing my towel that I had laid over the railing.
I can feel her eyes tracing over the muscles of my abs and up until she’s meeting my gaze. Her small shoulders shrug.
“I just thought maybe you’d want some company.”
My brow rises and I sort of feel like a dick for demanding to know why she’s here.
We’ve been friends for years, and I’m used to Lily always being around.
She’s been part of the group for as long as I can remember.
She’s quiet most of the time, unless she gets going on about the latest book she read or our work on the council.
This isn’t the first time she’s sought me out, but it is the first time she’s showed up at the pool when I’m by myself.
Everyone else seems to know that if I’m here alone it’s because I need it.
I need the solitude and the force of the weightlessness of the pool to calm the dark mood inside me.
“Oh,” is all I manage to say, my hand coming to run through my wet hair. Truthfully, I’m not in the mood to hang out, and the last thing I want to do is hurt my friend. “Well, I can get dried off and change quick.”
Her face seems to fall, and there’s a small flicker of something in her eyes before it disappears just as quickly.
“I was hoping we could hang out,” she answers tentatively, slowly getting to her feet, and for the first time I realize the light pink dress she’s wearing is almost see-through. The straps of a black bikini wrap around her neck.
“My coach will kill me if I let unauthorized personnel in the pool after hours,” I automatically say, and feel like a jerk when her face falls.
“Let’s all grab breakfast tomorrow morning.
I’ll drive you back to your place,” I tack on real quick, hoping to ease the disappointment on her face.
If she’s going through something, the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
“Okay,” she manages, and her eyes lift to mine again. A weighted silence stretches between us for a few seconds.
“I’m going to get washed off and changed. I’ll meet you right back here in five,” I tell her, pointing to the locker rooms right behind me. Lily gives me a small smile, and I walk away, trying to ignore the burning way her eyes trail over my naked back.
The locker room echoes with every footstep I take, and I can’t shake the feeling I’m being watched.
I’m the only one in here, and Lily is outside.
She’d be too shy to come in here, and I wouldn’t ask her to in the first place.
Still, my eyes close, and I push my shadows out, letting them wander the space, feeling around for the reason I’m on edge.
As if sensing nothing, they just as quickly melt back into my body.
My hand reaches for my phone in my locker and see the first message from Aero then one from Heath on my screen.
AERO: Skully is at the cemetery.
HEATH: Don’t get pissed….
I don’t even need to see the rest of my little bro’s message to know I’m already pissed.
What is she doing there? And why the hell is she with them?
Skipping the shower, I quickly dry off and throw my clothes back on, intent on getting to the cemetery as soon as possible.
My fingers itch to respond to them both, demanding answers, but the chaos in my chest is only propelling me to get to her faster.
It’s not until I’m back in the main hall and see the lone figure waiting on me that I remember I said I’d bring Lily back.
Shit. The cemetery is in the opposite direction of her home.
My jaw grinds. “Lil, I have to get to the cemetery. Something came up. Can I drop you off at your parents’ house instead?”
The blue in her eyes darkens for a second and then she gives me a smile, her bottom lip wobbling slightly. “Oh, ah, I guess I could walk home. My parents aren’t home, and I don’t like being alone there.”
I forgot for a second that the house is often too big and empty for her. It’s why she chose to live on campus with us even when her family had preferred she stayed at their estate. My hand runs through my hair while thinking of how else I can make this work.
“Can’t I come with you?” she asks, stepping closer to me, her hand landing on my arm.
Touching me isn’t new for Lily. I consider her like a younger sister and have given her hugs over the years.
But there’s something weird about the last few times she’s had her hands on me, that feeling usually surfacing when I’ve been around Skully, or like now when I’m thinking about Skully.
My skin feels tight, like it wants to physically reject Lily’s hand on me.
I gently step back, out of her reach, and shoot her a small grin. “Guess you’ll just have to come with.” Her eyes light up and I ignore the way my shadows tense in my veins.
My mind zones out as we walk to my car and get in.
The entire drive through campus and into the sprawling edges and cliffs and through town, Lily chatters next to me.
Usually I’d listen and placate her, but tonight I can only focus on one thing.
Seeing Skully again. My foot taps on the gas, pushing harder, until I’m way past the speed limit and not caring at all.
The normal path into the cemetery is right ahead and I take it, driving into the trees until we reach the clearing.
Heath’s motorcycle sits near the gate. All three of them turn to look at me as I park, but my gaze never leaves her.
Climbing out of the driver seat, I catch the last part of her sentence, her dark eyes flashing at my best friend as she calls him a tattletale.
My lips twitch as he shrugs, gaping at her almost while his eyes dance with amusement.
Their antics remind me of the past and that is enough to wipe the last shred of emotion off my face because of course she doesn’t remember what it was like between her and Aero.
He wasn’t just my friend; he was hers as well.
“Start talking now, bro.” I flick my eyes to Heath and watch his hazel eyes flash before narrowing.
“Were you at the pool? Did you even shower first?” Aero asks, and I ignore him.
“This isn’t on him,” Skully jumps in, defending Heath, and angling her body so that she’s almost protecting him.
Heath’s eyes widen, and he shoots her a look at the back of her head before glancing at me, raising his hands in the air.
I’m tempted to laugh at his terror for a second, but I can’t keep my focus off the girl in front of me.
“My dad reached out and said I had to start earning my keep. I simply ran into Heath before you, and I asked him what that meant. He told me what you guys do here.”
My brow rises, and I glance at my brother again, this time his face pales. “He told you everything, huh?” Heath shakes his head, and Aero is close to choking on air from the laughter he’s holding in.
Skully looks between us, her dark eyes assessing before meeting my gaze again. “Probably not everything.”
“You don’t deserve to know everything,” I spit the words out, enjoying the way her cheeks flame red and her eyes spark. “What we do here keeps everyone safe. Right now, you’re just a liability.”
Skully’s arms cross over her chest and I take in everything about her.
The black joggers that mold to her legs and the maroon hooded sweatshirt with the black raven spread across the chest. Her long dark hair is pulled into an effortless ponytail and it hits me how she makes even the most relaxed things look good on her.
She snaps her fingers in front of my face and my eyes jump back to hers.
Pissed that she caught me looking her over makes my own face heat.
Triumph gleams in her dark eyes as she steps forward.
“That’s why I’m here to learn. My dad wants me to be here.
I’ll stay quiet, follow directions, but right now the call isn’t yours. ”
My chest tightens, and my veins burst with adrenaline at how close she is to me.
I can feel the heat radiating off her body, breathing her scent into my lungs.
My shadows are straining to close around her, and I feel my body becoming more tense as I fight the natural instinct I have to grab her.
It’s not new. But I refuse to let this viper close to me again.
My mouth opens right as chilled, small fingers clasp around my wrist. Everything inside me jolts at the contact and I turn my piercing glare to my side.
Lily’s eyes widen, and for a second, she looks hurt.
My eyes close and I take a breath before giving her a more soothing look.
Sometimes I forget how fragile her feelings are after years of her parents dismissing her.
“Don’t be mad at Heath and Aero,” Lily says quietly, but I don’t miss the subtle way she’s reminding me who the blame really belongs to. My eyes drop to the ground when I realize how much I want to argue how wrong her statement is. The fuck.
My head snaps back up and I realize that Skully has once again stepped away from me.
I search her face, but she won’t meet my gaze, her eyes firmly on the ground.
I want to demand she look at me, only me, but that voice in my head wars with the reminder not to let her fuck with me.
My mind is off in a million different directions and the only thing that matters is how to contain what is happening around me.
Tonight is a breeze to ease Skully in, but that isn’t an every night case.
Damn Gavin for throwing her into this when she doesn’t remember her past or any of her training.
I don’t know if he forgets or if he just doesn’t care.
“Aero, take Lily back to her place.” My gaze jumps to my best friend who nods, solemnly. He steps around Heath and Skully, gently wrapping his arm around Lily before they shimmer away in the next second.
“Madd, she has to learn again at some point. There was no danger tonight,” Heath interjects, reasoning with me. I know he’s right, but something primal in me demands that I be the one to teach her and not him. I should be here if something bad does happen.
“Take her home.”
Skully’s brow rises and her hands land on her hips. “Wow. Really? How will I ever earn my keep if I can’t learn the job, learn who I am?”
“You will meet me here Friday night. You will train with me. And you won’t put my brother or my friends in danger with your unpreparedness,” I bite out, watching her face color, and her lips turn into a thin line.
The beast in my chest roars when it looks like she’s battling back tears.
I need her to follow my rule, to bend her will and force her to see she has no power this time.
Despite Gavin’s order, she falls into my possession when it comes to our world here at the Gate.
“I work Friday.”
My lip curls thinking of her being in that place. If this works out maybe I’ll make it so she’s here on all their busy nights and she’ll have no other choice but to quit. “Guess you better find someone to take your shift. Duty to the Haven always comes first.”
Her shoulders tense, and her spine straightens. I keep waiting for her expressive eyes to land on mine, but she doesn’t raise her head. The needling sensation in my gut when she refuses to give in becomes too much. “Take her home.”
Heath clears his throat and reaches for her hand. He stops when my glare cuts to him. Shaking his head, he walks past me. “This way, princess.”
Skully follows him over to his bike and my hands curl into fists watching as he helps her on behind him.
I didn’t think this part through, watching while she has to scoot close to him, her front plastered to his back, and her arms wind around his waist. Heath shoots me one last look as he rounds the corner and takes off down the trail that leads back to the main road.
The silence that follows echoes in my mind, my pulse still racing.
My head falls back, my eyes meeting the mostly clear night sky, and I breathe in and out.
On my second breath I notice the clinging chlorine smell on me.
Aero had been right. I skipped over everything else to get here, to get to her as soon as I could.
Now I’ll be spending the night smelling like a pool and bad choices. I blame Skully for that too.