Chapter 16
Skully
EVEN WITH ALL the images for my next project laid out in front of me, and half of the paper that goes along with it sitting on my laptop, I still feel restless.
There’s a tension under my skin that pulls and irritates me like a bad itch.
It causes a sixth sense that something is happening, but I don’t know what it is.
I’ve been back in River Falls for two months, and I still don’t remember the lay of the land or the rules.
Except for Heath’s explanation of the Gate, the rest of it doesn’t make sense to me.
And I’m tired. I’m so tired of watching my back, trying to figure out who the enemy is and worrying about things that no one seems to want to talk about.
Since I’ve been here, I haven’t heard a thing about the Nexa or the explosion.
None of the paranormals are gossiping about it.
Or maybe, it’s just me that no one wants to talk to about it.
I want to talk to Baylee, but I’m not sure if I can.
Azriel hasn’t called or texted me back yet.
Aunt Loreli has been busier at the hospital and we rarely have a chance to check in apart from making sure the other is alive.
I’m on a college campus; yet, I feel all alone.
That is the only reason I am looking forward to my shift at the Gate with Madden.
The absolute only reason. Thankfully I was able to get my shift changed with someone else so I could make it.
Still, I hated missing out on Friday night tips.
Just another reason that Madden is an asshole.
I’m still pissed at how he showed up and forced me to leave with Heath too.
The only thing that made it slightly better was that he sent Lily home with Aero.
My fingers touch the edge of one of my images again and I take a deep breath before exhaling, wishing that all these issues would just go away.
“You seem down, little devil.” Killian’s smooth, deep voice is suddenly right by my ear. My skin pebbles, and I jump sideways in my chair. His tall, brooding figure leans over the table, his hand centimeters from mine. “Jumpy.”
I roll my eyes and push down the initial feelings of paranoia that bubble to the surface when he’s around. “Not jumpy, Killian. Maybe warn a girl next time you decide to scare her to death.”
“Wouldn’t be half as fun that way.” He shrugs, while his dark brown eyes sparkle with mischief.
He sits, watching me, and I feel like he’s waiting for something. My brow arches as I turn to him again. “Can I help you with something, or are you just going to stare at me all day?”
His lips twist up into a cocky smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just trying to figure this all out.”
“Figure what out?”
“You.” He shakes his head, leaning his hip against the table. “Everyone said you lost your memories, but I’m thinking that’s not it.”
A flush rises up my chest and burns my cheeks. “You think I’m making it up? That makes a lot of sense, Killian.” My legs unfold from under the table, and my fingers scramble to collect the images spread across the desk.
“Why are you upset?” His head cocks to the side, his dark eyes growing in their intensity.
My head snaps in his direction, my eyes widening in disbelief. “Are you joking? You just accused me of faking that I don’t have my memories. Like choosing to be here again is really something I wanted, and just to add in some fun I decided to pretend I forgot almost a whole year of my life.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I hate that one sentence from him caused this much turmoil. I don’t even know Killian, not really. But if what I’ve heard is true, it’s probably better that it stays that way. “Go away, Killian.”
He reaches for me at the same time I utter the words. His hand freezes in midair, his fingers instantly curling in on themselves. “Look at me, Skully.”
I shake my head, keeping my chin pointed to my chest, while I neatly pile together my pictures. “I think it’s better if you just walk away.”
Killian laughs, but the sound is dark, almost sad. “So you’re really going to believe him this time. Do you trust what he says?”
I turn toward him, my gaze clashing with his, and my hands land on my waist. “Are you talking about Madden?”
There’s a flash in his eyes and his head tilts contemplating. For a minute it’s as though this is a game, a familiar conversation that happened in another life. “Who else would I be talking about, little devil?”
My shoulders shrug. “I don’t know. My dad. Heath. Someone on the council.”
Killian scoffs and dips his head. “Cute. But I think we both know who I mean.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to argue, to defend Madden, even though I don’t know why, when he’s given me zero reasons to be on his side or earn my respect. Still, something deep inside me wants to guard him now.
“I don’t remember and right now I don’t care about anything that happened back then. I’m here to get my degree, do the job my dad wants and then I’m gone.”
He watches me, thoughtfully, his gaze heavy on mine. I don’t give him the chance to speak again, grabbing my bag and walking around the table to leave. A hand reaches out and snatches my backpack. My body swings forward with force, and once again, Killian is towering over me.
“Did you ever think that maybe you didn’t lose your memories?”
My eyes widen, flicking over his face. He looks torn, watching me, with so many different emotions sorting behind his gaze.
My heart races in my chest, and my magic swirls under my skin.
I want to ask him, to dive into this theory, to maybe have answers, but then I feel it.
Heat races over my skin, the air charges with energy.
Thick, ropes of black shadows touch against my peripheral and lightly skim over my skin.
My own magic reaches out in response. Madden is here.
Killian’s hand drops from my backpack, and he’s shoved out of my space. “I told you to stay away from her.”
Madden’s body is at my back, and I can feel the heat of his skin through our layers of clothes. Killian stares over my head, and his lips twitch up in a smirk.
“Still jumping to conclusions. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Madden.”
There’s a deep, almost growl like noise that comes from deep in Madden’s chest that vibrates through me. “I know I gave you an order and I expect you to follow it. This isn’t like last time.”
Killian scoffs and shakes his head at his ex-best friend. “If you understood, you wouldn’t ask that of me. I can’t leave her alone.”
His last words are harsh, quietly yelled, and they cause shivers to run down my spine. My gaze moves between them, watching their eyes harden. Madden’s jaw clenches, and I reach out to touch him. His body tenses, expecting the impact, enough for me to come to my senses. My hand drops to my side.
“I think you both need to back off and leave. This is the library for fuck’s sake. Everyone is watching,” I remind them. This college may be mostly filled with paranormals, but there is a large enough human population as well. The last thing they need to see is Madden’s eyes flip to black.
Killian takes a step back, the harsh lines and scowl melting off his face. He laughs, but it’s filled with mirth when he glances again at Madden. “It might not be the same but we both know some things will always be the same. Where is your little shadow?”
Madden’s frame tightens even more and I glance between both of them before following Killian’s line of sight.
Glancing behind me, my eyes connect first with Aero and then Lily.
I hadn’t even been aware of them until now.
With my attention on her, Lily gasps and moves her body slightly behind Aero’s.
He frowns looking down at her and then to Killian and me.
My head rises and with one last wink in my direction, Killian turns and walks away, a low whistle on his lips.
The silence around us is now deafening, and more and more sets of eyes are starting to notice us.
“So weird,” I murmur to myself, trying to shrug it off.
Only Madden hears. And once again I have his attention as he stalks toward me.
My mouth opens to argue, but he’s already grabbing my arm and hauling me toward the stack of books.
“Get off me,” I hiss at him, trying to yank my arm from his grasp. “Madden.”
He spins me, so my back hits the row of books, both of his hands coming up and caging me in. “What did he want?”
“I don’t know. He asked if my memory loss was real, made fun of me about it,” I manage to get out around the new tightness in my throat. I feel like I can’t move, can’t breathe, and it takes me a minute to figure out exactly what is going on and why this feels so familiar. Rage clouds my vision.
“Are you using your magic on me?”
Madden shifts, a slow, easy smirk playing on his lips.
Not the sexy kind either, the dark, dangerous kind.
The type of a predator. “I can do whatever I want to you, Skully. You make a lot of stupid decisions and you don’t listen.
You think Killian wants you other than to mess with me?
No, sweetheart, he sees you as a pawn, someone to manipulate.
Someone easy enough to get on her back. Only this time, I don’t care what happens to you. ”
My hands clench at my sides, and I grit my teeth together.
Every instinct I have is to deny what he’s saying and make him confront the lies.
My vision blurs, and my chest suddenly aches, a deep, dull pain that rushes through me, wanting to pull me into the past with it.
My breath catches, hoping for some piece of my memory to return, but I’m shut out of my own mind once again.
Angrily, my hands land on his chest, shoving him back, my magic zapping around my palms. He staggers back, a flash of surprise on his face.
“It’s a relief that you don’t want me, Madden.
I can promise you that I’m not sitting at home writing your name all over my journal.
In fact I never think about you at all. Who I want to see, who I decide to fuck, is none of your concern, big man. ”
His eyes rake over me with pure disdain and frustration that grows more evident with each passing second. His brows furrow, and his nostrils flare as he dips down, bringing his eyes level with mine. Anger makes the usual silver color turn dark metallic.
“Everything about you is my concern.”
My eyes widen before I can keep my face passive. Madden licks his lips, his frown present and deepening as if the words are a costly admission instead of the warning they are meant to be.
“Madden,” Lily calls to him, shattering the tension around us. I blink, taking my focus off of the unnerving man in front of me. I can hear as Aero shuffles her away. I had completely forgotten we weren’t alone, that he hadn’t arrived by himself when Killian was around.
“Better go check on her. It sounds like some things really don’t change.” I hold his gaze when I push past him, my shoulder knocking into his as I rush to get away. He doesn’t stop me, not that I expected him to.
“Forget about the job tomorrow. You’ll never be one of us.” His voice carries the short distance, without him actually yelling.
I force my feet to keep moving. My only focus right now is getting out of the library, keeping my eyes on everything around me except for the two people waiting near the exit.
I can feel the searing heat of Lily’s stare on me when I dash by.
My stomach twists and I have to fight against another wave of nausea.
This whole scene is familiar in some way.
The anger and resentment I’m feeling rises inside my body, threatening to explode out of me and shatter.
Knowing that it’s familiar makes me more upset with myself and with Madden.
He should know better though. Without my memories, I’m blindly walking around and being put into situations that cause him and me to clash.
Killian manipulated what happened back there, I know it, and once again, he baited Madden perfectly.
And once again, I was the only one hurt in the fall out.
What makes me even more upset is that Lily and Aero witnessed it.
I don’t expect Aero to step in, but if we really were friends, shouldn’t he know me better?
Having Lily there, seeing her seek out Madden and him wanting to protect her creates an ache I can’t explain.
I can feel that he’s bad for me, even though my magic hums in my veins when he’s around.
I don’t want his attention; yet, my heart squeezes painfully when he’s with her.
The walk back to the apartment goes by quickly.
Despite the chill my skin is heated. I keep my arms wrapped around myself, refusing to break out here in the open.
This isn’t the first time Madden has said something mean to me or stared at me with such disgust. This is the first time though where the combination of his words, the atmosphere, the darkening of his eyes and sneer on his lips woke the weak girl inside of me again.
After leaving here the first time, I promised myself I’d never let him make me feel that way, but today, he did.
I was helpless, confused, and looking to him for a shred of the truce I thought we were forming after meeting at the Gate.
My pocket vibrates lightly. I pull my phone out and with frozen fingers swipe on my screen. My heart lurches, and I stop breathing.
UNKNOWN: You’ll never be her.
Tears burn my eyes, and my magic swirls around me.
Fuck him. My fingers move swiftly over the screen, blocking his number again before pocketing my phone.
Did he get a new number? I don’t understand how he is able to contact me after I already blocked him.
Brushing the stray tears off my cheeks, I take a few deep breaths until the anger and hurt are pushed back down, and my magic settles once more.
I don’t need Madden. I just have to survive here long enough for my dad to hold up his end of the deal.