Chapter 44
Luna
It’s past midnight by the time I sneak back into the dorm, and I’m mentally exhausted.
My chest hurts from everything I discovered in the archives.
Thank God, Annika and Sophie are already asleep, so I don’t have to explain to them where I’ve been.
But a little part of me wishes they were awake so I could check on them.
Especially Annika. She’s been training really hard for her upcoming ballet showcase.
Once I’m in my room, I close the door behind me and walk to the bathroom. My clothes come off in a second, like they’re contaminated, and I drop everything into the laundry basket.
I stop in front of the sink, and the girl in the mirror doesn’t look like the one I knew—or maybe I didn’t know her at all.
My kinky curls are down, shaping around my face.
I reach for my scrunchie and put them up into a pineapple at the top of my head.
I spent the whole weekend removing my mini braids, even Zayden helped.
It took forever, plus another hour or two to wash and condition them, but I needed something new to match this new Luna I’m getting to know.
Back in school, the girls used to make fun of my hair because I didn’t know how to style it, and that’s why I wore braids most of the time.
By the time I was eleven years old, I had learned to straighten my hair.
I would burn my scalp and damage my curls.
I thought if my hair was straight enough, if it looked a little more like theirs, maybe they’d stop saying my hair is too kinky, and my skin is too black to be Latina.
Never mind the fact that I speak fluent Spanish and my mom is Dominican.
But maybe I was never meant to fit in. I don’t have to be the version of myself they want me to be.
I can be the moon and the sun.
Be bold but also cautious.
Be strong and soft.
Hurt but still learning to love.
Once I’m done brushing my teeth and washing my face, I pull one of Zayden’s T-shirts over my head. I turn off the bathroom light and step into the quiet of my room.
The room is dark, except for the light spilling from the window. I crawl into bed, lying on my side facing the lake. The glass is fogged from the inside, but I can still make out the frozen water.
My body’s exhausted, but my mind keeps replaying everything from tonight. The betting log. The names. The pattern. My pulse has been stuck in my throat ever since.
The door opens.
I don’t move and listen to the sounds of footsteps. Then the soft thuds of boots hitting the floor.
There’s a pause long enough to make my heart forget how to beat. Then the mattress dips beside me. His scent reaches me first, cedar, and something sharp that I only smell when he’s been skating.
His arms come around my waist as he pulls me back until my spine fits against his bare chest. He slides his fingers under my shirt as he traces lazy lines against my stomach.
I knew it was Zayden the moment the door opened. He’s been sneaking into my dorm late at night since Serene disappeared. He waits until Sophie and Annika are asleep, but they know.
Jasper made him a copy of my key card. Said it was for safety, in case anything happened, but we both know that’s not the real reason. He comes because he needs me. And I let him, because I need him, too.
We don’t say anything at first, just breathe together.
“Jasper told me,” he whispers finally, his voice rougher than usual.
My body stiffens.
“That you two went to the archives and what you found down there. And he thinks…he thinks someone might know you were down there. That you might have accidentally triggered something.”
“I was going to tell you,” I whisper.
“Damn it, Luna.” He pulls back just enough to flip me over, his eyes burning into mine. “You promised me you wouldn’t do anything reckless.”
“I know, but I couldn’t. Not after Serene. I needed to know what the fuck is going on. She already dragged me into this, and I can’t stop now.”
“You shouldn’t be the one risking everything to figure this shit out.”
And for a second, I see it all—his fear, his guilt, the way he wants to scream and bury his face in my neck at the same time.
“I can’t lose you.”
I reach for his face, brushing my thumb along his cheekbone. “You won’t.”
But he doesn’t believe it. Not fully. So I kiss him, and he kisses me back like it’s the only thing keeping him together. There’s no softness in it. Just desperation. Anger. Need.
“I mean it,” he says, his forehead pressed to mine. “If something happened to you…because of my family…” His voice breaks. “I won’t survive it. I can’t fucking lose you, too.”
Then he kisses me again. His hand trails down my waist, over the dip of my hip, and settles between my thighs. His pants and boxers are off before I can blink, like he’ll lose his mind if he’s not inside me the next second.
He slides inside me with one, slow, deep thrust, and I bite my lip to stop myself from screaming and waking up Annika and Sophie.
He moves slowly at first, like he’s afraid this will be the last time. His forehead stays pressed to mine, his breath uneven as our bodies fall into a rhythm that feels too real, too intimate for words.
“Promise you’ll stop digging. That you’ll focus on your skating.”
I blink up at him. “Zayden…” I stop when he rolls his hips just right, but it’s still not enough. I need more.
“Promise me,” he says again, slowing his thrusts like a punishment. “Please, baby.”
I swallow hard. “I’m sorry…but I can’t promise you that.” I can’t walk away now.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” He pulls back just enough to look at me, eyes wild and tender all at once.
He holds my face, thumb brushing beneath my eye like he can feel the storm brewing inside me. And then he kisses me again. “You drive me fucking insane,” he murmurs against my lips. “But I would be lying if I said I don’t love that about you.”
Thrust.
My breath catches, fingers digging into his ass, needing more of him.
“The fucking fire.”
Thrust.
A moan escapes from my throat. I try to move my hips, but his hands tighten, holding me down. Controlling the pace. Making me feel every inch.
“A fucking storm. My fucking storm.”
Another deep thrust, and I can feel this one all the way in my throat. A low groan scrapes from his throat, his fingers digging into my thighs like the pleasure is too much, and he’s trying not to come too soon.
“You’re Luna Del Sol. The moon and the sun. A fucking eclipse. And I’ll never take that away from you.”
Oh God.
And then he stops.
“Zayden…don’t stop…please,” I whimper, trying to chase the friction, but he holds me still.
“You want to burn down this fucking school? Then you need to promise you won’t do anything without me and Jasper knowing about it.”
“Zayden…” I can barely breathe. I’m aching everywhere. My chest. My legs. My throat. My heart.
“Promise me, Luna, or I won’t let you come.”
Is it bad that I want to strangle him right now? But I also want to kiss him, because I can see the desperation, fear, and worry in his eyes.
“We do this together, promise me, baby,” he says, lower now.
“I promise. Now make me come.”
He chuckles, then pulls out and turns me around before I can protest. “Good girl. I love it when you’re bossy.”
I push up to my knees, arching my back toward him.
He grips my hips, lining himself up before he slides back inside me in one possessive thrust that makes me moan into the sheets.
He groans at the feel of me, buried so deep it’s like he’s trying to memorize the shape of my body around him. “You’re so fucking tight, baby,” he murmurs.
One hand stays pressed against my lower back, keeping me in place, while the other reaches around and finds my clit. Then he thrusts again, hard, deep, and just the way I love it.
“I’ll do anything to protect you,” he breathes against the nape of my neck. “You hear me? Anything.”
I bite the sheet, stifling the sob of pleasure that rises up as I come around his dick.
He doesn’t stop as he chases his own release, and I’m pretty sure Annika and Sophie can hear the sounds of his skin slapping against mine. I couldn’t care less right now.
“Fuck, baby…” he groans, hips jerking as he comes. His whole body shakes against mine, and he buries himself one last time, spilling everything inside me.
Then he pulls out slowly, and my body misses the fullness of him. I flip onto my back, eyes still half lidded.
“Be right back.” He lets me know before heading into the bathroom.
Zayden comes back with a washcloth. “Let me.” He slides it between my thighs and cleans me gently. When he’s done, he sets aside the cloth and climbs in beside me.
My head finds the perfect spot on his chest, and he pulls the cover over us.
“Good night, Lunetta.” He kisses my forehead.
“Good night.” I lift my head to press a soft kiss to his lips.