CHAPTER NINE
Lynn
I’ve thought about my future, or rather, my failed attempts at a better future more times this week than I care to admit. I should know what direction I’m headed, who I want to be, and who I want to spend it with.
Which keeps leading me back to the night I got back into town.
And Brian. Our argument, and the moment he reached across me, so close there wasn’t enough room inside the cab for the anger crackling between us.
Our emotions, at least mine, were so big I could barely breathe.
And the strange quiet that fell between us when our eyes locked.
I shouldn’t have looked at him. Especially at his mouth, so close I could’ve grabbed his face and kissed him long enough to shut him up.
I was mad. Furious. Yet something happens when he and I fight. Something electric gets mixed up with the irritation until I can’t tell where one ends and something so different begins. My skin gets hot, my heart beats faster, and every nerve in my body becomes painfully aware of him.
Which infuriates me more.
He has this uncanny ability to show up exactly when I’m trying my hardest to prove I can do things on my own and failing miserably at it. I don’t need anyone swooping in, and I sure as heck am not the swooning type.
But this last week is just another fab example of how screwed up my life is.
When I called Gearheads Garage about towing my car, it was already sitting in their garage with four brand new tires waiting for me to pick it up.
I called Logan and swallowed what little pride I had to thank him for the tires and swear I’d pay him back.
He didn’t ask questions or give me a lecture. Just welcomed me home.
I should be grateful, and I am. But a small part of me wonders if Logan’s stopped asking questions because even he’s grown tired of the answers.
Why my plans fell through. Why another job didn’t work out.
Why I fall for the wrong guy every damn time and end up right where I started, only broker than the time before.
This time was supposed to be different.
“Earth to Lynn.”
I’ll find a job, pay Logan back, and get out of Briar’s apartment before I wear out my welcome. No more scattered messes trailing behind me. No more of Brian swooping in to pull me out of trouble.
Oddly, that makes me a little sad.
“Earth to Lynn.”
The Proposal’s movie credits roll across the television, but all the names are a blur, my thoughts a million miles away.
I’m blindsided by a pillow smacking me in the face. It falls, hitting the half-eaten bowl of popcorn in my lap tilts and spills across my pajama bottoms and the cushions. I turn to look at Briar, sitting cross-legged at the other end of the sofa.
“Where were you? I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes.” She leans forward and turns the volume down.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and a solitary tear leaks out at the corner. I’m a complete failure, even after standing up for myself with Josh. I thought my luck had changed. It’s embarrassing to admit that even to my best friend.
“Wondering why we watch sappy movies like this.” I pick at the stray popcorn kernels littering the sofa. “Every rom-com is the same. The person who annoys them the most is always the one who sees them at their worst. There’s nothing sexy about that.”
“Nope, but it’s romantic.” Briar straightens, her face softening with a hopeful romantic grin.
“They spend all that time circling each other and driving each other crazy, but not because they hate each other. Deep down, they love each other, but are too stubborn and afraid to admit it. They’re drawn to each other like super magnets.
” She gestures with her hands, binding her fingers together in a tight knot.
“And neither one of them could ever be happy with anybody else.”
Well, shit.
“Doesn’t that sound kind of... I don’t know... toxic?” I ask, innocently enough.
“Girl, If a man looked at me the way Andrew looked at Margaret in the end, I’d be putty in his hands.
I don’t care how I get there, I just want someone who’ll show up for me every damn day of the week.
” She clutches her fisted hands to her chest and lets out a huge sigh.
Just as quickly she grabs the remote, giddy and ready for a double feature.
“Wanna watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? I want to see Matthew McConaughey grovel.”
Oh, Brian will keep showing up just to piss me off. But he’d never grovel. Especially now.