12. Wilson
twelve
wilson
Leaving last minute on an impromptu getaway had messed me up. There was a mountain of work to get to, a million emails to return, and not one shred of motivation. The flight had been quiet with Lana sleeping against my shoulder.
Not that I blamed her.
After the little pitstop between some trees on the way home from the snow play place, I had been insatiable for her. It was like I needed to make a point of just how I could treat her for the rest of her life without saying the words. I tried my damnedest to show her with my body just how in love I was.
Not because they freaked me out.
Not with Lana.
No, I didn’t talk about what would happen next because I didn’t want to scare her away. I wanted her addicted to me and the pleasure I could bring to her. With any other woman, I would have been able to toss gifts and money at her, and they would have been enough to keep her attention. And maybe with Lana, a couple of things here and there would have sufficed. But she wasn’t the type of woman who could be bought.
She would want actions. Time. Attention. Things I was more than ready and willing to give her. I just didn’t know how to say it without scaring her away.
Tor pulled up to the front of her place, and I got out. Extending my hand for her to take. We hadn’t talked much since landing and heading back. I’d offered to stop somewhere to eat, but she had just shaken her head and said she needed to get home.
I took her bag from Tor and walked up to her door, knowing very well that Tor was probably watching us and ready to report back to my nosy-as-fuck cousins.
“Thanks for this weekend.” She smiled tightly. Her blue eyes didn’t reach mine. “Since we didn’t have to pretend date and all that, umm… maybe your people could send me some kind of payment plan or—“ I stopped listening to what she was saying. It shouldn’t have stung that she brought the deal up, but for some godforsaken reason, it irritated me.
“Lana, look at me,” I ordered, speaking to her rougher than I ever had. Her blue eyes connected with mine, and I couldn’t fight the need to touch her. My hand rose and cupped her cheek. “That’s all done with, okay?”
“Are you admitting the accident was your fault?” she teased lightly, but I didn’t crack a smile. I simply nodded.
“Yes,” I rasped. “It was my fault. And because of that, money has been wired to your account.” It had actually been wired before we even landed in Wyoming, but she hadn’t needed to check her account while we were there.
“What? But, Wils—“ Suddenly, it hit me. I was dropping her off. In my stupid attempt not to scare her away, I hadn’t talked about the future. Not once outside the bedroom. I’d fucked up!
“Will you go out with me? Tonight?” I blurted, without thinking about how to approach the subject.
I couldn’t bear the thought of not spending more time with her. Her eyes lit up, but then I saw it—indecision. No matter how comfortable she had been with me in the cabin, it seemed being back home made her hesitate.
“I can’t,” she answered softly.
“Can’t or won’t?” I pressed, not about to drop it that easily.
“Wils.” Her blue gaze connected with mine for a moment. I could see the war in her head. Trust me, baby. Take a chance on me. On us . But I knew she was going to send me away when she sighed. “I, umm…” She shook her head. “I wish I could, but I have a lot of work to catch up on.” She turned me down politely, and my jaw clenched.
“Right,” I rasped. My mind was completely blank of ideas of how to talk her into doing what I wanted. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not yet.
“Well, umm, thank you. The last couple of days were fun.” Fun? No, they’ve been the best. “Sorry I couldn’t be your girlfriend for the ball. It sounded... magical. I mean, sorry I couldn’t be your fake girlfriend. You know what I mean,” she rambled on and shook her head. I hated how she still avoided my eyes.
“Right.” I swallowed, my mouth dry and my hands clammy. “I should get going, too.” I stepped forward, but she dipped her head down and started to unlock her front door.
It made me feel like I’d been dismissed.
I stepped down the front porch and turned. She stood there looking at me. Everything inside of me shouted at me to go after her. To run, take her in my arms, and kiss her until she had no choice but to agree to spend time with me again.
But I didn’t do any of those things.
I simply waved and walked away without turning to look back. I had to. I’d go home and regroup. Come up with another plan. A better one. One that would give me more than five days with her.
My only consolation was the fact I still had eyes inside her house. If she thought this was over, that all we were was some good time, she had another thing coming.
Lana was my forever. She just didn’t know it yet.