13. Lana
thirteen
lana
I lay on the couch flipping channels, one after another, but nothing caught my attention. How could it, when all I could think about was Wilson and how disappointed he looked when I turned him down?
I glanced at the big yellow clock on the wall. It was only eight thirty. I picked up my phone and glanced down at my text messages. I could have easily texted and asked if he was still up to hanging out.
He probably already made plans, a cynical part of me thought, and my heart splintered a little. What if he had already found someone else to join him for dinner? It was very likely that he had a long list of women on his phone he could have called so he wouldn’t have to eat alone.
I could almost imagine him sitting in some cute little romantic spot, charming some other woman with that rough timbre of his voice and the way he looked at you like you were the only one who existed.
Why didn’t I just say yes? It wasn’t like I had lied. I’d worked on things that were urgent, but if I was honest, I could have gone to dinner with him.
I’d just been scared.
“It’s better this way,” I muttered to myself. It wasn’t like I had anything to wear if he wanted to go to some fancy restaurant.
This is better. I just had to convince myself of it.
My mind knew it, but my heart didn’t agree. I couldn’t convince myself that sitting home alone with nothing to watch was better than talking and sitting next to him. I genuinely missed him. I closed my text screen and pulled up my bank account information.
I had no idea, and honestly, I didn’t want to know how he got my account number or why he would have transferred that much money into it. We’d had a deal. I’d be his fake girlfriend for some work event he hadn’t really explained what it was for; it just sounded nice. A pretty ballgown, music, and food. A beautiful setting. All with a guy who looked like he could have been cast as Prince Charming in any movie.
But we hadn’t gone.
Instead, the amount of money in my account made me feel dirty. Sorta. We’d done so much more than dance under the stars. Is that what the money was about? I shook my head. It isn’t . The time stamp on the deposit showed it had happened before we’d even got on the plane, long before I decided to take a chance on him. On us.
There is no us! a voice in my head reminded me. No matter how much I would want there to be.
Either way, he had sent that money before I’d stupidly fallen hard with my very own silver-spooned monkey. Ugh! My foot bounced as nervous energy flowed through me. My phone rang, and I jumped. Looking at it, I leaned over to pick it up and smiled for the first time she he had dropped me off.
The screen read Best Wrong Turn, and I giggled.
Without thinking about what I should or shouldn’t do, I picked up. “Hello?”
“Hey,” his deep voice sounded. “I was wondering…”
“Yeah?”
“How did work go?” I frowned. He almost sounded nervous. Which was silly. Why would I make him nervous?
“I finished things that needed to get done,” I shared easily.
“That’s good,” he muttered. “I was wondering….”
“Yeah?” I asked again when his end of the line went quiet. I could hear him or someone as they tapped one what sounded almost like a keyboard. “Wilson, are you still there?” I asked and heard something like a door shut.
“Sorry about that. Look, Lana, I was wondering if you have eaten?”
“Eaten?”
“Dinner.” That hope inside me started to swell even though it shouldn’t.
“Wils—“
“Open the door, babe,” he ordered quietly. I looked at the door and stared at it as if I had some kind of X-ray vision.
“You’re here?” I whispered. Excitement started to prickle at the back of my neck.
“Look,” he sighed, “turns out I’m an idiot. Okay?”
“You are?”
“Yeah.” I could almost imagine the expression on his face. Defeated but hopeful before he ran his long nimble fingers through his hair.
“And why is that?”
“Because I took a wrong turn, and even though it didn’t make sense, and I tried to fight the pull I felt to the woman whose car hit me?—“
“You hit my car,” I interjected, but he ignored me as he kept going, rocking my world and blooming hope in my heart.
“I couldn’t ignore it. Then I went about it all the wrong way, trying to get her attention, and when I finally had time with her, I figured out why. She’s incredible.”
“Wils,” I sighed, standing up and moving closer to the door.
“Can you open the door, baby?” The softness in his voice had me placing my hand on the doorknob. “I need to tell the woman of my dreams how I feel about her.” Without thinking about the consequences, I opened the door, and there he was. Dressed in a wrinkled black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons undone. He looked deliciously disheveled. Matching slacks, his fancy shoes, and his hair all rumpled, like he had been running his fingers through it since we’d arrived.
“Hi,” he said with a tentative smile as he ended the call and slipped his cell phone into his pocket.
“Hi,” I whispered, trying not to wince at how horrible I looked. My hair in a messy bun on top of my head. I was wearing old pajama shorts and a matching tank top. His hand reached for mine, and I looked down at it. His was bigger, lighter than mine. The contrast made my heart skip a beat. I liked our differences. But are we too different?
“I’m sorry,” he snapped me out of my thoughts.
“For what?” My eyes rose to meet his gaze head on.
“For trying not to freak you out while we were at the cabin and talk about what would happen when we returned home. For making you think… believe that it was a fun fling when what I want, what I feel… is so much more than a fling.” Hope bloomed inside my chest.
“You can’t say that,” I whispered. My heart started to race and, almost like he could tell, his free hand rose and held my neck, his thumb stroking my erratic pulse point. He pulled me in closer, and my hand settled on the middle of his chest.
“Why?” His voice dropped an octave. “It’s the truth, Lana. I fell in love with you. I think I fell head over ass in love with you at first sight, beautiful. I didn’t even believe in things like that before, but you make me a believer. I don’t want to scare you off, but it’s the truth. Leaving today almost killed me.”
“Wilson.” His name sounded scratchy in my ears. “It’s too soon to know that you’re in love with me. We had a great time stuck together but…”
“Please don’t finish that sentence,” he pleaded. “Give me a chance. Let me show you just how much sense we make.”
“Honey,” I whispered, but I didn’t know what else I could say. He lifted me up, and my legs instinctively wrapped around his narrow waist, my hands on his shoulders. I loved being like that with him, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop the words that slipped past my lips. “Wils, being snowed in was great, but this is real life.” It was like I could not shut up. Why am I trying to talk him out of this? This was everything and so much more than I could have dreamt of.
“Real life is going to be even better. But I get it. Real life can be messy and complicated. How about I make you a promise?” he offered, and I stared at him. He was handsome, but it was more than his looks that made me feel connected to him. It was his soul and spirit.
“When real life gets to be too much, we can run off to the cabin and hide away from the world.” His offer made me smile. I liked it.
Too much. I was ready to head back now if he suggested it, and we had only been back for less than twenty-four hours.
“You’re crazy, Wils.”
“About you, baby. Just about you,” he rasped, pressing his forehead against mine. “Please, Lana, give me a chance.”
“A chance?” I giggled softly.
“Be mine.”
“Yours?” I repeated. Everything inside me wanted to agree. Wanted to give him everything he could ever want, but I was still me. “This is really fast, Wils. Shouldn’t we have a talking stage first or date a little before we start putting labels on it?”
“No.” He shook his head, nuzzling his nose against mine, making me breathe in his air. His breath was minty sweet. “I want labels and strings and to be so tied up we’re tangled together in a way we both know there is no way we could ever get untangled. I want you forever, Lana.”
“Wils…” I wanted to say yes, but I was scared.
I’d noticed how many calls he had to ignore. How many emails had been waiting for him on his personal phone. I could only imagine how many more there would be waiting on his work line. Not only that, but our lives were completely different. He was private planes, and I was more than happy to fly somewhere, anywhere, in economy.
“Give me a chance,” he whispered. I bit down on my bottom lip.
“Okay,” I found myself agreeing. I didn’t have time to think about what I’d said. The moment the word slipped past my lips, he kissed me. Sweet and soft, slowly taking his time. It wasn’t until a long, long time later that we pulled away and he confirmed our new deal.
“You’re mine, Lana,” he said with a smile on his stupidly handsome face. His hands ran through my hair, that was how I found myself sitting on his lap while we hung out in the living room, sprawled out on the couch.
“Does that make you mine?” I whispered and felt him nod.
“Completely yours, Lana,” he responded, and I melted.
That sounded better than good. It sounded perfect to me.