24. Harper
24
I raced out of the stadium before the game was over. Before the rush of the crowd could slow me down. Where the hell was he, and why was Troy back on the ice?
Questions you might be able to ask upfront if you were honest, yourself, Harper.
I silenced my stupid conscience and swiped at a tear along my cheekbone.
Tonight was going to be it and now he’s not answering my texts.
August needed to know I only wanted him. Blindly and without knowing what the hell I was going to say, if he would even be there, what state I’d find him in, I drove to his apartment building.
“Harper,” he rasped painfully, finding me at his doorstep.
I was breathless and almost completely lost my train of thought when my eyes washed over him. “Hi. Can I come in?”
He pulled the door open for me and stepped aside. Whiskey or some other hard liquor reeked from his breath as I passed.
“What happened tonight?” I whispered.
He turned away from me. “We lost.”
Frustrated, I followed him to his living room. “You didn’t lose.”
He turned back to me. “I lose every time, Harper.”
“What?”
“To my brother. You’re probably next.” His tone had an edge, but it didn’t scare me. It didn’t stop me from dropping my bag, racing to him, and throwing my arms around him.
“Never,” I breathed against his neck.
He released a throaty groan and put a hand up against my chest, pushing me back instead of embracing me. His eyes narrowed. “How can you know that?”
“Because it’s you I want.” My stomach boiled, and I felt his pain. I felt my pain because I was losing him. I was losing him to whatever it was he let his brother convince him of.
He pushed past me, lifting my things and walking to the door, pulling it open for me to leave. “I can’t do this tonight.”
I bit my tongue, cursing his twin for whatever it was that was hurting him. “Dammit, Troy,” I whispered angrily with a light shake of my head before walking to the door.
Only for it to shut before I could walk through it.
August stepped close. My skin simmered from the heat blazing in his eyes. His jaw tight in that way it was when he was outraged. God, he was gorgeous. And I was so in love with him. I longed for those hands on me, his lips to graze my skin, his teeth to sink into me.
He’d only been gentle with me, but I wanted to feel the frustration. I wanted him to take me hard if this was it for us. I wanted him to leave his mark. I swallowed back the urge because I wouldn’t take this away from him. He needed to tell me in his own time. His own way.
He wasn’t making a move. He was struggling. I could feel it—and I wanted to end it.
“Fuck me,” I said.
Dark green eyes scanned me angrily—there was scrutiny in them but also need and desire. Wrapping a hand around my neck, he pulled me against his rock-hard body and kissed me.
I moaned and clung to him as he lifted me, carrying me to his bedroom. He stripped me of my clothes, possibly tearing some of it, I couldn’t tell.
I hadn’t come here for this, but it was amazing how quickly he could bring my body to life in such an intoxicating way.
We belonged together. And I wasn’t going to accept him hiding behind a mask anymore.
When I’d lost the final piece of clothing, and his boxers came off, I moved onto his bed, loving the way he watched me. The way he moved in on me, a promise in his eyes to make this something I was going to feel for days.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful Harper.”
His eyes blazed as he nudged my legs apart, touching me. I arched when his fingers slid inside me, feeling my heat. I was so wet, aching for him to fill me. To fill the emptiness I felt ever since I left the beach house. The night after he showed me what it was like to feel so full and complete.
I’ve fallen deeply and the only thing I could hope for is for this lie between us to blow over like it was yesterday’s news and never speak of it again.
But for now…I’d humor him. Just one more time.
“It’s just you and me here tonight, baby,” he said as if reading my mind. “No one else.”
He slid a condom on and moved over me, and I tensed, my body remembering the initial discomfort. He stilled at my entrance and I blinked up at him.
August grinned slowly and put a hand on my chest.
I grinned back before taking a deep breath, his hand lowering with my chest as I released slowly.
“That’s my girl.” He leaned down to kiss me as he pushed inside of me with a single thrust.
I gasped, trembling. I wrapped my arms around him as my body re-adjusted to him. There was no pain. Just pure waves of pleasure and desire for more.
“You’re good?”
I nodded quickly, desperate for him to give me more.
“I love how wet you are for me. You feel so good.”
My eyes fluttered open as I skimmed my hands down his back. “So good.” I wished he’d go a little faster.
And harder.
“Move with me, baby. Show me how you need me.” The man was intuitive, if nothing else.
“How?”
“With your hips. You can guide me to how you want it.”
Lifting my hips, I nudged him and pulled him against me in a slightly faster rhythm. He picked up on it, his thrusts became sharper and quicker.
“More.”
He hesitated.
“You’re not hurting me. I promise.”
He withdrew only to plunge back into me with a groan and my breath hitched as he continued to pump. Burying my face in his neck, I screamed and stopped myself by biting his shoulder.
He cursed, his voice gruff as he moved a free hand into my hair, fisting it as he pumped harder into me, grunting and showering me with praise.
I was on the edge and couldn’t contain myself. I gripped the sheets as intense pleasure rippled through me.
“August,” I screamed before he stilled inside me, making me gasp.
Panting, I shut my eyes and winced with a whimper.
Even through my closed eyes, I felt the heat of his glare. It was the longest pause of my entire life before he spoke. “Open your eyes, Harper.” There was an edge to his voice that was anything but seductive or reassuring.
Bravely, I opened them, releasing a breath. “August, I—”
He started to move again, sinking deep into me slowly and deliberately, darkened eyes losing their lust. It could be defined as no more than an empty glare. His skin wasn’t over mine anymore. There was a cold space between us.
He snapped his hips, circling my clit with his thumb and thrusting harder, again and again. Throwing my head back as I felt myself on the verge of another explosive orgasm that was unlike anything I’d ever felt.
“Come for me again,” he rasped.
Those words were my undoing. I gasped but held my screams, emotion clogging up my throat as I came apart again. I pulled at sheets breathlessly as he pounded with demanding strokes that turned jagged before he shuddered over me.
But there were no more praises as he came. Just eye contact. And it burned.
Pressing my lips together, I shut my eyes shut as August rolled himself beside me. Other than our panting, we lay there in silence for a minute until he spoke. “Are you alright?”
I swallowed and nodded without turning to him.
He stood to dispose of the condom but didn’t come back to me in his bed after. Instead, he slipped his sweats back on and walked out of the room.
I brushed my hands across my face and sniffled. “I guess we’re doing this,” I whispered to myself before pushing off the mattress and looking for pieces of my clothes.
The living room felt colder when I finally stepped out.
“How long have you known?” August asked, his tone sterile. He was facing the window, his hands in his pockets. His mood was immediately familiar to me. It was how he spoke with his associates on all those calls back at his parents’ house.
I bit my lip and he twisted impatiently, dark eyes glowering at me. “How long, Harper?”
“The night you held up the sign. Troy would never do anything like that. And when you grinned up at me from the ice…I knew I was right. Your dimple, it's…deeper.”
I watched him take it in. Knew when it hit him what happened later that night. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He ran a hand through his hair and turned away from me—silence filling the room. “I was going to tell you—I...” His tone shifting to gruff and tired.
I swallowed, closing my eyes briefly as if to find the strength to tell him this wasn’t his fault. That I didn’t blame him. “I wouldn’t let you. Not if you were going to use it as a reason not to see me again.”
It was painful to say out loud and a little sad on my part, but I wouldn’t let him take the blame.
Not all of it.
He considered it, looking away and nodding. His eyes were narrowed and there was hint of disgust in his tone. “That’s a little twisted, don’t you think?”
“What?”
“Pretending I’m my brother because you couldn’t have him?”
An invisible sharp object jabbed into my chest. “No, that’s not—”
“I never thought you’d stoop that low.”
What the hell?
“Stop it. You couldn’t talk to me, I thought this... made it easier for you. Until you were ready...”
He stepped toward me but there was no warmth in his advance. “Well guess what, I have no problem talking to you now.”
I stepped back with a whisper. “August.”
“I’m sorry for lying. I’m also sorry to ruin your fun.”
My eyes stung as I tried to process what he was saying through the steel voice. “August.”
“You can say my name all you like. But we both know who you really want.”
I shook my head. How could he have possibly believed that? “I want you .”
“Because I’ve been acting like him .”
“You’re nothing like your brother,” I finally snapped. “You’re so much more, so much better, there is no goddamn comparison. Why can’t you see that?”
He reached for my coat, walked it over to me, and pressed it into my arms. “This is good stuff, Harper, it really is. But the bottom line is—you played along.” He leaned in almost menacingly. “You liked pretending that I’m Troy.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as if it would make all this hurt any less. Then moved to the door, pulling it open. Turning only slightly because I couldn’t look at him anymore. I left him with all I had left to say. “I don’t know who put this in your head, but you couldn’t be more wrong.”