Chapter 10 #3
His brows flew up. “I’m not talking about you quoting me. I’m talking about you implying that I’m using my injury as an excuse to quit hockey because I don’t think I can hack it as a totally blind player.”
Tiago’s words rang out in the silence of the car, and I hesitated for so long that I nearly missed when the light turned green. I hit the gas on autopilot as I tried to process what he said.
“Tiago, if that’s what you got from the article, then I’m sorry. But that is not what I wrote.”
I could all but hear the tendons in his jaw creaking with tension. “I know I don’t have a fancy education, and I know that my eyes are shit, but I can still read, Aravind. I’m not taking meaning from your words. That’s what you literally wrote.”
He must be losing it because I didn’t say jack shit about total blindness. Maybe he was just projecting his own fears and reading what wasn’t there because I never would have been such a dick.
I fought off a sigh as I turned the corner onto Quarter Moon Drive. There were only six houses, and I could see his at the end. “I don’t want to fight about this.”
He said nothing as I pulled up to the curb and got out. “Thanks for the ride,” he snapped.
“Tiago, wait!”
He was halfway to slamming the door shut, but he managed to catch it with his arm. He poked his head back in but said nothing.
I swallowed thickly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Yeah. Okay. Have a nice vacation.” Then he did slam the door, and I was too much of a coward to call him back again as he ripped his bags out of the back seat, then made his way to his front door.
The only thing I did do was sit there and make sure he made it all the way inside before hitting the gas, turning the car around, and getting the hell out of there.
It wasn’t my fault he regretted his words, damn it.
It wasn’t my fault he was feeling insecure.
If only that made me feel better.
Steps from death? Quitting because of his sight?
“Motherfucker. Motherfucking fucker!”
It took everything I had in me not to throw my phone across the room and watch it shatter against the wall.
I might have actually done it if the nearest store to get a replacement wasn’t a four-hour ferry ride away, and even then, I was starting to wonder if life wouldn’t be better without technology because goddamn.
I dropped to my knees in front of the couch, pressed my hands over my face, and let out the hardest silent scream I could.
I had no idea what to do with all this rage in my chest because the last half of that article wasn’t my words.
Well, the last line was, quoting Tiago, but the rest?
The speculation was going to start a fucking rumor, and it was making me look like an even bigger dick than before.
And I knew who was responsible.
This was Daryl’s goddamn goodbye gift to me. That overcooked pile of cheap boil-in-bag rice!
“Oh god, it’s no wonder Tiago hates me.” My words were muffled as I dropped my arms and pressed my face to the couch cushions.
“I am going to murder Daryl and Leon and bury them in the wilderness. And fuck it, I’ll probably go to jail anyway, so I might as well make it a spree and kill anyone and everyone who ever wronged me. ”
Which, in reality, were just those two people. But saying it all out loud like that felt good.
I took a deep breath of couch, which smelled a bit like ass, then fell back on my heels before collapsing on the floor. My gaze locked on the ceiling fan, and I watched it spin for a while.
I had no idea what to do. Did I go back to Tiago’s family home to defend myself? Did I text him?
Did I say nothing because I’d already fucked up anyway?
A small part of me thought maybe we’d see each other again and pick up where we left off.
I’d been happy to focus on his pleasure, but fuck, that moment in the ferry left me hot and bothered, and I wasn’t used to being this horny over some guy I barely knew.
But when we parted ways, it was obvious there probably wasn’t going to be a round two.
Now I understood why. I had the chance to make it better, but would he believe me?
I laughed, unable to stop the sound from erupting. I slapped a hand over my mouth, though there was no one here to listen to me quietly losing my mind. But I wasn’t sure I wanted the front-row seat to my descent into madness.
Being alone was always nice, until it wasn’t. I was never entirely great on my own. It was how I made terrible decisions, like dating Leon.
Like moving in with Leon.
Like taking a terrible job at an online sports press, then letting my bad mood turn me into an epic asshole.
“Fuck. I have to see him.”
I wasn’t going to be able to let this go. It wasn’t in my nature. Rolling onto all fours, I stretched a few times, then did a couple of push-ups that threatened to flatten me all over again before climbing to my feet and shaking out my limbs.
I was already in comfy clothes. I’d showered the ferry smell off me, and I was in silky pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. My hair was an uncombed mess tucked in a bun, I needed to shave and brush my teeth, and…god. This was a terrible idea.
But I was already getting dressed, slipping into my shoes, and heading for the front door.