Chapter 34
LIV
The next morning, I stood looking at my appearance in the mirror before I headed to the school with Finn.
I was wearing my usual uniform of gym leggings with a baggy sweatshirt over it.
It was the practical option when I spent my days running after Finn but lately, I was starting to wonder whether I should be making more of an effort with my clothes.
Maya only wore gym gear when she was doing exercise whereas I wore it for comfort.
And it hid a multitude of lumps and bumps; you never had to worry about your tummy looking too big or your jeans not buttoning up when you were in lycra.
I heard someone entering the room behind me and I turned away from the mirror. I saw Finn come in. He had dressed himself but his tie was askew and his shirt was buttoned up wrong.
‘You look like nobody’s child,’ I said, shaking my head and laughing at his appearance. I crouched down before him and began fixing his shirt and straightening his tie.
‘Am I fat, Mammy?’ he asked, taking in his appearance in the mirror.
‘Sorry?’ I said, sure I had heard him wrong.
‘Am I fat?’ he repeated. He pushed out his tummy in front of the mirror.
‘Hey, why are you asking that?’ I put my hand on his rounded tummy and pressed it back in.
‘Elliot keeps saying that I’m fat.’
‘Elliot in your class said that to you?’ I repeated in disbelief.
Finn nodded.
I tried to look at my son objectively. Perhaps he had got a little pudgy but it had crept up and I hadn’t noticed it until now. Me and Jay were both bigger people so genetics weren’t in his favour; however, it didn’t give Elliot the right to tease him about it.
‘You’re not fat, sweetie. So I don’t know why he said that,’ I reassured him, turning him away from the mirror.
‘If he does it again, you tell him that it’s not very nice to call people names.
Now come on,’ I said, leading him by the hand.
‘Go get your coat and bag. We don’t want to be late for school. ’
Finn skipped off to get his belongings and then we headed downstairs and set off.
At the school, I bent down and kissed him goodbye and once he was safely inside the building, I turned for home.
Across the car park, I saw Maya climbing up into her Range Rover, having just dropped Elliot off.
She spotted me and waved over so I waved back.
I had managed to put the BBQ and then the incident with Jay in our kitchen yesterday out of my head but I wondered if I should mention to her what Finn had said to me this morning but how would I bring it up?
And there was also the possibility that Finn had picked him up wrong; kids were forever getting their wires crossed or perhaps Finn had called Elliot names first.
‘Hi, Liv,’ Maya called out through the open window as I walked over towards her.
‘Glad we’re not the only ones running late.
I had a nightmare morning with Elliot. He wouldn’t eat his breakfast, he wouldn’t get dressed.
He screamed getting out of the car. He’s being really challenging at the moment.
’ Tears pooled in her cool-blue eyes and I knew this was tough on her.
‘I’m sorry, that’s really stressful. Do you think there’s something bothering him?’
‘Where do I even start?’
‘Do you want to grab a coffee?’ I asked, sensing she needed to talk and possibly vent about the situation.
‘Sure,’ she agreed. ‘Will we go to the same place we always go?’
‘Great.’
She left her car at the school and we headed off down the street together and while Maya found us a table, I ordered our usual from the barista then I brought them down to the table.
We both chit-chatted for a moment before she paused.
‘Something happened yesterday,’ she blurted. ‘After I went home from your house and I think it’s the reason why Elliot is acting out.’
‘What is it?’ I asked, taking a sip from my latte, then self-consciously wiping the froth from my lip.
‘I’m embarrassed even telling you this but Elliot found porn on Hugo’s phone.’
‘Porn?’ I repeated in shock. ‘But how?’
‘Hugo had given it to him to play with while he was in the shower. I think it just popped up.’
‘Oh my God,’ I gasped. ‘How did he react?’
‘Well, he came to me with it and asked why the man was hurting the lady.’
‘Oh dear. Did you tell Hugo about it?’
She nodded. ‘We had a huge row and of course it kicked off in front of Elliot, I just couldn’t help myself.
I was furious – I still am. Surely if he knew there was a possibility of something like that popping up on his phone, he would never have given it to Elliot? I can’t believe he took the risk.’
‘What did he say to that?’
‘Well, of course he tried to blame the Internet, TikTok, blah, blah, but the algorithm only serves you those things if that’s what you like to watch. Is it any wonder our sex life is non-existent? I can’t compete with that.’ She tossed her hands up into the air in frustration.
‘That’s really tough on you,’ I sympathised. How could I tell her about the incident with Elliot calling Finn fat now? She was already upset and worried about her son. The child was obviously hurting somehow and he was expressing it in the only way he knew how.
‘We haven’t spoken since it happened and Elliot’s behaviour has just nosedived.’
‘Oh, Maya, that’s really horrible. No wonder Elliot is being a little difficult lately; that’s an awful lot for a five-year-old to process.’
My heart broke for Elliot. No matter what he had or hadn’t done to my son, he was only a tiny boy dealing with some really tricky things; it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t handle it all.