Chapter 6
Nari.
We were approaching the fifth day of Kincaid’s absence.
He traveled to Chicago for a day, another in New York, then it was off to Dubai.
He wouldn’t be home for another two days, and I missed him terribly.
Kincaid extended the invitation for me to travel with him, but I didn’t want to leave my mother.
He further extended the invitation to her as well, stating we could shop and spa hop while he worked.
I declined. It didn’t feel right, dragging her with me just because I didn’t want to be apart from Kincaid.
While he was away, I spent the time with her, Alisha, and Corinne, pulling together details for our reception dinner.
I attempted to include Kincaid, but the only input he gave was red. I was instructed to incorporate his new favorite color into whatever we were planning, but he didn’t provide input on how. “I’ll leave that up to you, sweetheart,” was his response.
Since he had been responsible for our original union, I decided to emulate our actual wedding, but on a grander scale to include him in the planning.
I was okay with keeping things simple, but his mother and Alisha both insisted it be a grand production.
My mother seemed to agree, but remained quiet about most of the planning.
I assumed it was because she wasn’t well versed on this lifestyle and what was to be expected.
Hell, I wasn’t either, which was why Alisha and his mother did most of the planning.
They seemed to get lost in the details. I agreed with most of what they suggested, and when I didn’t, I would express my feelings, but truthfully, I already had the husband, so this part was simply for show.
It did, however, seem important to Kincaid, so I played along.
Kincaid’s handlers remained behind but worked shifts so that someone was on guard twenty-four hours while he was away.
They didn’t come inside, but instead were stationed in front of the house in their vehicles.
Cast traveled with Kincaid, so I didn’t know these men.
Their faces became familiar over time, but they didn’t speak much other than a programmed good morning or good evening when driving me around.
My mother and I both offered them food, but they always refused.
Eventually, the one known as Conner made clear that it was against the rules.
I expressed concern with Kincaid one night when he called, asking when the hell they were supposed to eat, and he made clear that their meals were scheduled only when they were off duty.
I guess the team had that all worked out because neither looked like they missed a meal.
They were solid framed, always in suits with their faces set in a pleasant scowl.
Due to the hardened looks that remained on their faces, I assumed they took their jobs seriously.
Today would be no different. After being out of bed, showered, and dressed, I traveled downstairs.
I peeked outside, and sure enough, two black-on-black SUVs were parked where they had been all week.
My next stop was the kitchen, where I found my mother drinking tea.
After a few days here, I quickly learned she was an early riser, but she never made a peep or requested anything.
She had become familiar with the kitchen, so she would fix a small breakfast, have tea, and enjoy quiet time until I was up and moving.
Then we would enjoy the remainder of our day together.
Today, I planned on getting out of the house.
I was beginning to feel restricted being stuck at home and needed a bit of fresh air.
“How long have you been up?”
She grinned, motioning to the refrigerator. “For a little while. I cut you some fruit.”
I returned her smile at the same time my stomach growled. My little one created quite an appetite, but aside from constantly wanting to stuff my face, I was having a reasonably decent pregnancy.
“You feel like going out today? I figured we could do a little shopping or something. Maybe get our nails done.” I held up my hand and squinted at the growth of my nails.
I wasn’t the type of person who religiously created a routine to pamper myself, but Kincaid made a point of stressing the issue.
Deep down inside, I felt it was more about him than me, but then again, I didn’t take offense.
It was simply his nature. The man was always put together from head to toe.
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I’m just happy to spend time with you.”
My eyes lifted to hers slowly, and she was watching me with a warm smile in place.
Having my mother around made it hard to keep my emotions at bay.
I found myself staring sometimes, trying to remember every moment.
Between her and Kincaid, I was always at a loss attempting to manage feelings I wasn’t used to experiencing.
“I want you to enjoy your time here. I know it gets cramped being stuck inside for days at a time.”
She laughed hard, shaking her head. “It’s impossible to feel stuck in this beautiful home. Don’t waste time worrying about me.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want,” she confirmed.
“Do you ever miss them? Your family, I mean. You left and never went back.”
“Sometimes, I do, but most of the time, I don’t.
It’s hard to explain, but after so many years have passed, you tend to forget what it feels like to have anyone but yourself.
With all the time we’ve missed, I don’t know them, and they don’t know me.
Well, at least not the person I am today.
I’ve learned that sometimes it’s easier to leave things as they are. ”
“Do you think they want to see you, at least to know you’re okay?”
My child wasn’t born yet, and I still couldn’t imagine them walking away without me giving my all to find them.
“Truthfully, I don’t know, so it’s hard to care.
When I first left, I lived on the streets, worked odd jobs for cash, and did whatever I could to survive.
After I was eighteen and old enough to live on my own, I used my real name.
I got licenses, used my Social for jobs, and even applied for state assistance.
It’s how I found out there was a missing person’s report for me.
They filed a month after I left, but that’s all they ever did.
If my parents really wanted to find me, they could have.
” She shrugged. “I guess that’s why I understand your resentment toward me for not looking for you. ”
“Were you curious . . .” I paused. “About me?”
“All the time, sweetheart.” She covered my hand with hers.
“But in my mind, you had a good life. I didn’t want to interfere.
I also didn’t know if I could handle being rejected.
Just because I wanted to be in your life didn’t mean you would want to be in mine.
I’m sorry for not trying. I apologize for not being strong enough, but I’m here now, and I pray we can build something that we both need. ”
“Me too.”
There was no point in being overly emotional about things I couldn’t change. I had her now, and that would have to be enough.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been that pampered in my life.
” My mother laughed as we left the nail salon.
It was the most posh and upscale place I had ever experienced.
Of course, it was recommended by Kincaid, who set up an account for me.
I had only been there twice before our visit today, and each time was an experience. Apparently, my mother agreed.
“I’m still getting used to this life myself, but some of the perks are kinda sweet,” I grinned, playfully leaning into her side. “Some, not so much.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Conner, who moved with us but allowed a safe distance. He waited outside near the door, where he had a visual the entire time. “I agree, but at least Kincaid makes the effort to keep you safe.”
“He does, so I try not to give him too much shit. What about lunch?” I asked as soon as we reached the car where Floyd waited. He’d stayed behind and had the door open, ready for us as soon as we stepped out into the sun.
“I’m easy to please.”
“You are, but sometimes, I’m confused about whether you’re just being polite or if you’re truly happy.
” I found myself pouting, eager to please the woman who had recently come into my life.
What daughter didn’t want love and approval from their own mother?
Regardless of her being absent most of my life, I was still needy and starved for the closeness I’d imagined in my mind over the years.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she turned, touching my cheek, “anything that includes you makes me truly happy. Never question my motives or intent, but if it helps, how about we explore a simple menu today, maybe sandwiches or something?”
My smile was wide as I nodded. “I know the perfect place.”
Kincaid owned a lot of restaurants—thirteen and counting.
The ones we had visited so far were upscale, but I’d recently learned that one of my favorites was a café he owned in Midtown.
After I handed over the address to Conner, who was driving, we were on our way.
It took a little under an hour to get there, and as soon as my eyes took in the logo, my stomach began to do its own thing.
Once we were out of the truck and heading to the door, I heard a voice that set my blood on fire. It had been months, and yet, I still felt the fury like it had only been days, possibly hours.
“Cuz, is that you?”
My head turned toward the high-pitched tenor and Conner cautiously flexed beside me. His body somehow grew bigger in seconds, possibly from how he widened his stance and rolled his shoulders back.
Easy, big guy.