Chapter 17 #2
“They’re both fine. My son is extremely active now. I think Nari might take out a restraining order. I’m obsessed with feeling him move. She’s had this special connection to him all this time, and now I can finally experience some aspects of it. At least, in a marginal way.”
“You’re jealous of Nari carrying your son?” She found that amusing.
“Not jealous, just feeling left out. She gets an entire journey I can only view from the outside looking in. I’m ready to have that same connection with him.”
My mother laughed. “You’re jealous, but that’s to be expected.
Your father was the same in a sense. When I was carrying you, he would get up early, sometimes before the sunrise, attempting to steal private moments while I was asleep.
He would talk for hours occasionally about what he would teach you and how he was afraid of being tasked with a role as great as being your father.
God, he loved you so much. I’d listen quietly to him bonding with you through my stomach.
There were moments when it was so sweet that the words brought me to tears.
That man was everything. My everything. I miss him so much at times that it makes me numb. ”
I dropped my fork, stood, and crossed the kitchen to reach her in three long strides.
My mother became lost in my embrace while crying softly.
She was not only lonely but also feeling alone, and that broke my heart.
My father was all she ever knew, and I couldn’t imagine how she felt losing him.
It was hard for me, but I still had her, and now, Nari.
“I love you, Ma.”
“I love you too, baby. I’m such a mess.” She gently paused, swiping away tears. She leaned against the counter opposite me, and I allowed her the space she obviously needed. I was still learning how to be there for my mother in ways she would let me.
“You’re allowed to be a mess. You lost your best friend, the only man you’ve ever loved.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re so sure about that, aren’t you?”
“Shouldn’t I be?” I hadn’t considered any men before my father. There may have been a few, but none that she loved.
“Relax, you’re right. He’s the only man I ever loved until you. It’s just amusing to me how you wouldn’t even consider the idea of there being anyone else. You and your father are the same. It’s frightening, sometimes.”
“Confidence is key. There’s no one who can compare. You can’t blame either of us for living in our truths.”
She laughed harder that time, and I was simply happy to be the reason for her smile.
“Nari has her hands full. Where is she, by the way?”
“Home, sulking because Endia has been spending most of her time with Abisai.”
“Well, she may as well get used to it. From what Endia has told me, she’s enjoying her new beau. It’s good that she’s doing that, and it makes her happy. She’s a wonderful person and is turning out to be a much-needed friend.”
“You should take your own advice.”
“And do what?”
“Whatever makes you happy.”
My mother’s eyes landed on me hard. “I’m nowhere near ready for that. I may never be.”
“I’m not saying date, Ma. Shit, I don’t know if I’m ready for that, either.
I only mean do what makes you happy. Pop would want you to be happy.
It would kill him to know you’re not, even if it’s behind him no longer being here.
He was selfish when it came to you in every way, even with your happiness.
He’d sacrifice his own as a promise for yours. That’s all I’m saying.”
She nodded. “I know, and I will. I’m not miserable, nor do I plan to be. I do things that make me happy. I just have my days.”
“I know. I only worry, which can’t be helped. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Whatever that means, just promise me you’ll find a way to be happy.” Her eyes pinned to mine as she closed the space between us, lifting her hands to cuff my face.
“I promise.”
“That’s all I need.” After hugging my mother again, I returned to the table to finish my cobbler while she discussed plans for the baby’s room that she would keep for him at her house.
Our son made her happy. The idea of having her first grandchild definitely put a smile on my mother’s face.
As selfish as I already was with him, I would make the sacrifice to divide his time just to see her smile.
Since my father was no longer here, it was my responsibility to take care of my mother in the best way I knew how, and I would give my last to ensure that she was good, the same as I would do for my wife.
Cast’s update on Nari’s maternal grandparents had me making a decision that I prayed I didn’t regret. As much as I understood that my family was now hers, she had the potential to have an extended family of her own . . .
If I allowed her to.
When I entered our house, I found her seated on the floor in the living room, surrounded by her iPad, laptop, and a few open folders with her new logo printed on top of the exposed papers.
The fact that she was settling into her own had me feeling a sense of pride.
I wanted Nari to be her own woman who could stand independent of me.
It was something I knew she needed, and I would fully support it.
“Hey, you.” Her smile was genuine, which always warmed my heart. Who the hell would ever think something as simple as coming home to my wife would be what I looked forward to the most?
“What are you working on?” I slipped my hands into the pockets of my slacks while her eyes did a quick sweep of the things that surrounded her.
“Putting together a list of group homes we can contact for the drive we’re heading up. They thought it was a good idea that I take the lead, you know, with me being a foster kid and all, and that’s the cause we’re focusing on.” She rolled her eyes, and I narrowed mine.
“You don’t have to commit to anything you don’t feel comfortable with. I don’t give a shit about any of those women or their bullshit organizations that they pretend to be concerned about.”
“Hmm, sounds like you’ve been to a few of the meetings.” She arched her brow, and I shrugged.
“No, but my mother has been where you are for years, so I know enough to say it’s more about recognition than the idea of truly doing something great.”
“Well, I don’t mind. It will actually be a good thing because it can be an introduction to my foundation. I also plan on killing this shit so they know I’m not the one to play with or underestimate.”
“Sounds like your agenda is a little more personal,” I chuckled, and she nodded.
“It is, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I believe in the cause. I can kill two birds with one stone is all I’m saying.”
“Then I fully support your efforts. Just let me know what you need.”
“I think I have it covered for now.”
“Can you take a little break? I’d like for you to come take a ride with me.”
“Where?”
“I can’t tell you until we get there.”
“Should I be worried? Taking a ride with you could mean I end up in a foreign country.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “We’ll remain stateside with this one, and it’s nothing for you to worry about. I give you my word.”
“I’m game then. Should I change?”
“No, you’re fine as you are.” She was in leggings and a fitted hoodie. There was no need for her to dress up, so her attire was fine.
A little over an hour later, we were pulling up in front of a small house nestled in a decent neighborhood across town from where we lived. Nari frowned at me after looking at the brick residence.
“Where are we?”
“Your grandparents’ house.”
Her eyes landed hard on me. “What? Why?”
“Because I’ve been watching them for months, and there hasn’t been any contact between them and Eli.” I still refused to call him her father.
“And?”
“And it leads me to believe he won’t contact them. It’s not likely that he doesn’t know who they are. If he intended to use your family to get to you or your mother, he would have done so already.”
“But why did you bring me here?”
I stared at the house for a long minute before focusing on her. “All you have is your mother . . .”
“That’s not all I have.” She frowned harder. “I have enough people in my life who matter. I know I made a big deal at first, but I’m perfectly fine with the family I have.”
“It was also my decision to keep you from your mother’s side.”
“They don’t want to know me. Shayla told them she knew where I was, and—”
“She could have lied,” I amended. If I knew anything about her cousin, it was that she was jealous of Nari. It would be nothing for her to make Nari feel as if she weren’t relevant to them.
“And if she didn’t?”
“Then you walk away with your head held high, knowing they don’t fucking matter, but this has to be your choice, not mine. Initially, I kept you from them because I wasn’t sure if Eli was somehow connected to them. I don’t think he is.”
“And you’re okay with me knowing my mother’s parents?”
“Sweetheart, I want you to have a family. It simply has to be family that deserves to be in your life. If that’s your grandparents, then I have no issue with you building a relationship with them.”
She stared at the house a little longer before she shook her head. “I don’t want to know them.”
“You sure?”
Nodding with confidence, she confirmed. “They’re the reason why I didn’t have my mother all those years. Maybe they could be good people, maybe they’re not, but that’s something I can’t forgive, or I possibly just don’t want to. They had their chance to be a part of my life.”
“If you change your mind—”
Her head was shaking quickly. “I won’t.”
“If you do, promise you’ll never come here alone. Talk to me first, and I’ll arrange it. I can’t say that I fully trust the situation, but I’m willing to give it a try.”
“As much as I appreciate that, my mind is made up. I won’t be coming here again, with or without you, but thank you for caring enough to give me the option.”
I was fully prepared to leave things like they were, but as if the universe were testing her, a car pulled around us into the driveway.
An older woman stepped out, and I recognized her as Nari’s grandmother.
Nari’s eyes shot over to me, searching for confirmation of her identity, and I offered a firm nod.
She watched her grandmother nearing my car, and I watched Nari, gauging her reaction.
For a brief moment, I noticed the conflict brewing.
There was a tiny bit of longing, even after she had only seconds before decided she didn’t want to explore the possibility of getting to know her grandparents.
Although she had just made a firm decision not to allow them into her life, seeing the woman in person was initiating an internal battle.
Unfortunately, the one thing I considered to be an option happened.
She rapped on the window to get Nari’s attention, and I could tell from the scowl on her face that this wasn’t about to be a happy union.
“You’re Endia’s kid, right? Shay Shay told me you done married some rich man for his money.
I can tell it’s you by this expensive car.
” She cut her eyes at me briefly. “I don’t want you around here, and you tell your mama she can stay away too.
Been gone all these years, so ain’t no point in y’all coming around now.
We got all the family we need. Now, get away from my house before I call the cops. ”
The woman’s narrowed eyes landed on me to be sure I understood the threat of the authorities was directed at me.
Nari frowned hard, watching as the woman delivered one last glare, turned on her heels, and crossed the yard, moving toward the house.
Not once did she look back or seem remotely bothered by how rudely she’d just treated her own flesh and blood.
“Wow.”
“Sweetheart . . .”
Nari’s brown orbs landed on me within a matter of seconds.
“Don’t. I’m fine. That just further proves I made the right decision. I won’t fight for the love of someone who refuses to respect me or my mother. Can we go now?”
“There is nothing fine about how she just spoke to you.” I was seconds away from addressing the issue when Nari realized what I was thinking.
“I see that look on your face, and you’re not about to say anything to her. It’s not worth it, especially considering I don’t plan on being in their lives.”
I studied her for a moment more before she turned away from me and glanced at the house.
I left Nari to her thoughts, but she further confirmed that she was okay by leaning across the seat and kissing my cheek.
No words were necessary. As much as I hated the idea of putting her in a situation that could potentially harm her emotionally, I was fully prepared to take the risk, with the understanding that I would be there with all the support she required.
The way Nari had just been treated had me struggling to remain neutral with my thoughts on how to react, but I settled on it being a win in my favor.
I wasn’t upset about her decision not to forge a bond with her grandparents.
It was the selfish side of me. That might change one day, and if it did, I planned to keep my promise to facilitate the need in a way that kept her emotionally sound.
That would begin with a warning that the type of bullshit she pulled today would never happen again.
No one would address my wife with a lack of respect.
Love meant compromise, and I would always do whatever was necessary to keep Nari happy.