Chapter 18
Nari.
The sound of a phone vibrating had me throwing my hand over to the nightstand, but it didn’t take long to realize it wasn’t my device receiving a call. Kincaid’s raspy voice broke the silence around us, rumbling through a half-ass greeting.
“Yeah?”
“Who?” It wasn’t until he repeated the name that I began to pay attention.
“What can I do for you, Melissa?”
Melissa? Who the hell is Melissa?
He tossed the covers from his body before lowering his legs over the side of the bed, leaning over enough to rest his elbow on his thighs while he listened to whomever the hell Melissa was. That tiny internal voice was telling me not to overreact, but I could already feel my annoyance building.
“I’m well aware that the baby isn’t mine.
I haven’t been with your sister in months.
Well before the timeline of conception that would grant me paternity.
I only pulled strings to get her help because it was necessary for her well-being.
Regardless of the imposition she posed in my life, I’m not completely heartless.
If the hospital refuses to let your sister leave, they apparently think it’s best that she stays. ”
That was when it clicked. Melissa must be Val’s sister.
“Did they explain to you their reasoning for agreeing to admit her? Then you understand the severity of the situation. I may have called in a favor, but she’s under a doctor’s care based on their evaluation.
It’s not my call whether they release her.
That’s strictly based on their diagnosis of her condition. ”
He paused again, listening to her response before brushing his hand over his head and gripping the back of his neck.
“I agree and will make a call to see how I can assist in allowing that to happen. You’re welcome, and there’s no need to apologize on her behalf.
The situation wasn’t of your doing. I do, however, suggest that you and your family put the time into ensuring your sister stays on course with whatever treatment is suggested.
I will not be so agreeable if she causes any more unwarranted conflicts in my marriage moving forward. ”
After he ended the call, Kincaid glanced over his shoulder. “That was Val’s sister. She was trying to get her released, but they won’t do it.”
“Are you the reason she’s still there?”
He snorted. “She’s fucking crazy. That’s the reasoning behind why she’s still there.
Melissa wants them to release her to a doctor’s care in New York.
She says that can only happen if I agree, but not because I’ve requested they keep her.
She clearly needs the help even though it was the favor I called in that got the ball rolling. ”
“Are you going to agree?”
“To allow her to go home to her family, yes. But I will make it clear that she has to continue to remain under a doctor’s care until they determine that she’s well enough to be released. Thankfully, Melissa has no plans to fight me on keeping her sister on task with treatment. She agrees.”
“Is she really that messed up?”
“Apparently. One thing I’ve learned over time is that people’s minds are fragile. It’s damn near impossible to determine what one thing can cause them to lose touch with reality.”
“Well, in her defense, I’ve experienced the one thing that sent her over the edge, so I can somewhat understand her desperation.”
He joined me in bed again and inched toward me, forcing one of my legs between his to get closer. I had to angle my head back to see him because mine aligned with his chest.
“I’m glad you find this amusing.”
I grinned at the thought. “Either I find humor in this extremely exhausting situation, or I pick a fight with you.”
He chuckled, lowering his eyes. “That would undoubtedly be a waste of your time because I wouldn’t engage. But I do have a few ideas of what I will engage in.”
“Don’t you need to be leaving soon?”
“I do, so stop talking so that I can commence with engaging.”
Within a matter of seconds, I was on my back, and Kincaid’s head found its way between my thighs. I had no objections to what his current plans were, and neither Melissa nor Val were taking up space in my mind any longer.
Shortly after Kincaid left the house, I found myself in the kitchen and was greeted by my mother. She smiled, and I pouted.
“Oh, wow, this is a surprise.”
She lifted her eyes from the book she was reading, offering a subtle grin.
“I know I’ve been gone a lot, and I apologize. I’m supposed to be here spending time with you.”
“No, I’m just being my typical emotional self. I’m glad to see you happy because, apparently, Abisai makes you happy. I just miss you, that’s all.”
“He does, and I miss you as well. I mentioned to him that maybe we should slow things down a bit . . .”
“Oh God, no. Don’t stay away from him because of me. It’s not that serious.”
“It is if it bothers you. We’ve already missed so much time.”
“No, it’s really not a big deal, I promise, but I am curious to know why you would have to slow things down if you’re only friends.” I delivered a smug grin before removing the bowl of fruit I was sure she’d prepared for me.
“We are just friends. However, he wants more.”
“Well, what do you want?” I plopped down in the chair across from hers and she closed her book, using a folded piece of paper beside it to hold her place.
“I don’t know. He’s a really nice guy. Sweet, attentive, mature. I enjoy spending time with him, but I can’t say I’ve ever desired anything past companionship.”
“Why not?” I frowned at the same time her eyes fastened to mine.
“Truthfully, I’m a lot to take. I have my good days, but the bad days can be really bad. Depression comes with highs and lows, even when I stay consistent with my medication. It’s hard for most people to understand, better yet, deal with my depression in a long-term commitment.”
I considered what she was saying. She’d been happy for the most part since she’d been here, but there were times I recognized a difference. It was like the light in her spirit dimmed a little.
“Does he know?”
“Of course. We’ve talked about it. My condition is a part of who I am. I can’t separate the two, so I don’t hide from it, and he’s very observant. He senses when I’m unbalanced.”
“And how does he feel about it?” If he couldn’t accept her as she was, then he most certainly wasn’t the one she needed to be with. I felt a sense of responsibility to my mother, and even though I was the daughter, I wanted to protect her from anyone who didn’t have her best interest at heart.
My mother’s smile blossomed. “He insists he can handle anything. He even went as far as expressing his offense that I didn’t trust him to be man enough to love me as I am.”
“Really?” This time, my smile blossomed.
“Really.”
“Then I don’t see an issue.”
“People are quick to say what they can handle until it becomes their reality. I don’t want to put anyone in the position of feeling obligated.”
“I don’t see him as the type of man who would feel obligated. He seems like the type to know what he wants with the understanding that not everything will be perfect.”
She stared at me for a long moment before shaking her head and laughing lightly.
“What?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one giving you relationship advice?”
“I mean, yeah, and you have, but it goes both ways.” I popped a few grapes into my mouth and she nodded in agreement. After swallowing, I continued. “All I’m saying is, don’t create problems that don’t exist and don’t tell him what he can handle. He knows himself better than anyone else, right?”
“Right, and I’ll take that into consideration, but there’s still no rush.”
“I agree because I can’t necessarily say I’m ready to hand you over to him anyway. I kinda like the idea of you being here.”
“I love being here as well, but I also don’t want to wear out my welcome.”
“Not possible. This house is big enough for everyone to have their space. Trust me, it’s not a big deal. Speaking of houses, Kincaid took me to your parents’ house last night.”
“You spoke to them?” Her expression was stoic, so I couldn’t tell how she really felt. I did, however, assume that was intentional.
No, but she definitely spoke to me with all the hate she harbored for you.
“I didn’t need to. He wanted me to know that he no longer felt as if they were a threat and left it up to me to decide whether I wanted to get to know them.”
“Have you decided?”
“Yes. I have all the family I need. I’m perfectly fine not knowing them.”
“Because of me?” She seemed concerned.
I could have easily told her how hateful my grandmother reacted, but what was the point? My decision had been made before I ever laid eyes on the woman. Her lack of acceptance only further confirmed I had made the right decision.
“Yes and no. I’m angry because they made you give me away. I’m not at a place where I feel like I can forgive them for the relationship they cost me with you. I don’t think I ever will be.”
“They’re not bad people . . . well, my sister and your cousin may be, but my parents aren’t terrible. I don’t hate them. I just choose not to allow them to be a part of my life.”
“And I’m making the same choice, not for you, but for me. Like you said, sometimes, things are better left alone. I’m happy. I have a circle I trust and know truly cares about me. That’s enough.”
My phone vibrating had my mother lifting her things. “I’m going to go sit out by the pool for a little while.”
I nodded and answered, smiling, until Alisha spoke.
“Apparently, I’m selfish.”
“What?” I frowned at the first thing out of her mouth.
“Darius thinks I’m selfish.”
“Well, you kinda are.” I tried humor because she seemed genuinely upset.
“Nari, I’m serious. He wants a baby and says that I’m selfish.”
I paused with my mouth hanging open just before I was about to take down a few grapes. They landed back in the glass bowl as I frowned.
“A baby? I thought you couldn’t have kids.”
“I can’t, well, sort of. I personally can’t have kids, but I can carry one. It would just have to be someone else’s. I had one ovary removed after the accident and the other one was damaged to the point where I’m not fertile. But my uterus is in perfect working order.”
“Wait. I’m lost. Why are you selfish?”
She released a harsh breath. “He’s been bringing up kids a lot lately. I mean, we’ve talked about it before, but it’s been a recurring theme over the past couple of months. We’ve considered adoption all the other times, and I was okay with that if it’s what he really wanted.”
“You don’t want kids?”
“I mean, I do, but I would also be okay if we never have them. It’s not like the topic hasn’t come up over the years, but this time, he mentioned using his sperm and another woman’s egg so I could carry the baby.
Like one that’s donated. I told him no, that I would be okay with adopting, and he called me selfish. ”
I opened and closed my mouth, trying to decide what the hell to say to that.
“Nari, are you listening?”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
“Well, do you think I’m being selfish?”
Hell no! Darius tried it!
“That’s not a simple answer, Lish.”
“Why the hell not? How would you feel if Kincaid asked you to carry a baby that belonged to him and another woman? He’s the one being selfish. Why can’t he be okay with adoption if he really wants kids that bad? It’s not like I’m saying no completely.”
She seemed extremely emotional and I understood why. Truthfully, I could understand both of their sides, but I couldn’t honestly say I would feel any different than she did about the situation.
“Lish, I get it, and you’re not selfish. I also see why he would feel the suggestion is a viable option. It’s not like him cheating or—”
“Oh my God, you don’t get it. It will be his kid with another woman and not mine.
How am I supposed to be okay with that? I can’t believe he’s even arguing with me about this.
He’s been okay with no kids all this time, and now that you’re pregnant, he can’t stop fucking talking about us having a kid.
But the thing is, it won’t be mine. Just his and some other woman.
” She was damn near yelling to the point where I briefly removed the phone from my ear.
“Whoa. Sounds like you’re saying this is my fault.”
“Because it is! I don’t even know why I called you. I have to go.” She hung up in my face and I sat there stunned. Did she really just make this my fault? What the hell?
Before I could even think of reacting, she called me back, and I almost didn’t answer, but I gave in. She and I had become close over the past months, damn near family. I was sure she only blamed me because she was lost in her emotions.
“Shit, Nari, I’m sorry. I really am sorry. It’s not your fault. It has nothing to do with you. I’m just, it’s just . . .”
She paused, and I could tell she was emotionally overloaded and crying. “It’s okay, Lish. I get it.”
“No, you don’t.” She sniffed a few times before releasing a harsh breath. “I don’t want another woman to give him something I can’t. If that makes me selfish, then I am because I don’t think I can do that. I really don’t.”
“Did you explain things to him that way?”
“No, because it makes me the bad guy. I’m the one who can’t give him a baby. He can produce a kid; I can’t.”
“I know, baby, but he knew that before he married you. It’s unfair to throw this on you now and without considering your feelings about what he’s asking. You need to really explain what the issue is. It’s deeper than you’re admitting. You feel like you’re not enough.”
“Because I’m not if he wants another woman to give him what I can’t.”
“But you are. He loves you so much, Lish. You’re definitely enough. If you explain to him that you feel you’re not enough, I guarantee he’ll prove you wrong. Be honest about why this bothers you so much.”
“I want to, but I’m afraid he’ll decide that maybe I’m not and . . .”
“And what?”
“Leave me.”
“You know better, baby. There isn’t a damn thing in this world that will ever make me leave you, Alisha. How the hell can you think it’s even a possibility?”
Darius’s voice was so clear that he had to be near her.
“I thought you left?”
“I did, but I didn’t feel right about how we ended things. Can we talk without all the yelling?”
“Hey, go talk to him and be honest. I love you, okay?”
“Love you too, and I’m really sorry. I promise I didn’t mean it,” she said softly.
“I know, babe. Call me later.”
“I will.”