Chapter 23
Kincaid.
I had been awake for hours, but instead of my usual routine of creeping out of bed before Nari, I remained on my back, arms folded behind my head, eyes closed, thinking about the past few months.
When I reached the events of the past week, I felt my chest tightening as it had been since the night my entire world seemed to shift.
That one moment when everything that made sense no longer registered with familiarity.
That shift for me was realizing I was only one man who couldn’t control everything.
Careful movement next to me had my head turning toward Nari.
Her back was to me, so she hadn’t noticed I was watching.
Once she crept out of bed, entering the bathroom where she made a point of softly closing the door behind her, I threw the covers back on my side.
After lowering my legs over the edge, I extended my arms above me, allowing my body a good full stretch.
I sat contemplating for another ten minutes before I finally said fuck it and made my way to the bathroom.
By then, Nari was out of her clothes and stepping into the shower.
She eyed me carefully but didn’t say a word.
I leaned over the sink, watching her through the mirror as I brushed my teeth. By the time I finished, she had her head completely submerged under the spray of the overhead waterfall, so when I stepped inside, she damn near jumped out of her skin when I stepped up behind her.
“Shit, you scared me.”
“Has it been that long that you don’t recognize my touch?” My fingers glided across her skin briefly before I forced her back against me.
“No, I just wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
“Should I have asked permission?”
“Kincaid, what are you doing?”
“Hopefully, apologizing to my wife so maybe she’ll allow me the opportunity to get reacquainted with her body again.”
“Cute.”
I smirked, kissed her shoulder, and allowed my hands to glide up her stomach until I cupped both her breasts.
“Cute? That’s not exactly the response I was aiming for, but I suppose it’s better than you asking me to leave.”
“This is your house too. I can’t necessarily tell you where you can be in it, now can I?”
“You have every right to demand whatever you want. However, that doesn’t mean that I will comply.”
My tongue moved down her neck while my fingers pinched and twisted her nipples. Nari released a soft moan, settling against me in a way that let me know she wasn’t going to object to my request to get reacquainted with her body, not that I was giving her the option to in the first place.
“What happened to my apology?” she asked while I planted a trail of kisses down her neck and shoulder.
“What apology?” I was already sidetracked. It had only been a week since I had been intimate with my wife, but that week felt like a lifetime.
“You said that you were, hopefully, apologizing to your wife so we could get reacquainted. It seems like you skipped that part.”
I chuckled and kissed her neck again, allowing one of my hands to slip between her legs.
“I apologize.” My lips brushed across her ear. “Now, can we move on?”
“No, that was too generic. What do you apologize for?” Her tone was light and teasing, so I decided to play along.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. What do you feel like I’ve done?”
“Well, for starters, you’ve been ignoring me all week and keeping things from me.”
I froze in place. “What have I been keeping from you?”
“Things.” She turned to face me, moving damp curls out of her face before her palms glided down my chest and her fingers wrapped around me.
I chuckled, lowering my face to hers. “Then that means you owe me an apology as well. I’m not the only one who’s been keeping things.” My savage need for Nari hit me hard at the thought of being inside of her. “Turn around.”
She looked up, and I looked down, my eyes communicating that she needed to do as I asked. When her back was to me, I lifted a hand, allowing my fingers to graze the line of her spine before I pulled her hips back so she was firm against me.
“My apology, Nari. You haven’t given it yet.
” Greedy hands moved down her hips, over her upper thighs, then between her legs.
My fingers cuffed her center, rubbing coarsely before I allowed one to push through her slick folds.
It entered with ease, but it wasn’t from the moisture of the water, which drenched us both.
This was all Nari, her arousal, letting me know she was ready.
“I apologize for keeping things from you.” Her voice was low and hoarse.
“Can you handle me, in here like this?” She still hadn’t gained much weight, but her stomach could potentially create discomfort, and I planned on fucking my wife. It had been an entire week without her, so I needed to be sure she could take it.
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Kincaid. Stop talking,” she demanded, bringing a pleased grin to my lips.
My sweet Nari is in need.
I turned us, slightly lifting her leg so her foot rested on the corner seat behind us. After I guided myself in, my eyes closed tightly and I sucked in a breath.
“Fuck, Nari, I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
I had planned to take things slow and easy, but our recent lack of intimacy made that an impossible task.
My pace was relentless, rendering us both helpless to that first release, which she didn’t seem to mind because her body worked with mine to encourage the outcome.
The second came at a slower pace, and I was able to take my time, feeling even the slightest movement until our breaths became jagged, and the explosion forced me into temporary paralysis.
When I recovered, I held Nari against my chest, kissing her face, neck, and shoulders.
Any exposed skin I could reach fell victim to the attack.
“We’re not doing that again. From now on, no matter the issue, we work that shit out. If you’re mad, you tell me, and we talk about it. If I’m mad, I tell you, and the same applies. No more weeks pass without like the one we just had. Promise me.”
“I promise.” Nari turned, pressing her forehead into my chest.
“Me too.”
I kissed her gently on the forehead to seal that promise I planned on keeping, even if it meant taking the blame just so she didn’t torture me with this type of distance ever again.
“Everything looks good. The baby is strong and healthy, but I am a little concerned that you’ve lost a few pounds since your last visit. Have there been any changes I should be aware of?”
I was standing beside the exam table and Nari’s eyes shot up at me. I reached for her hand, kissing her fingers before addressing Dr. Chandler.
“We’ve had a rough few weeks that have made things uncharacteristically stressful for both of us. There shouldn’t be any more issues moving forward, so her weight should level out. It will be my priority to make sure we’re both on top of it.”
Dr. Chandler nodded, offering Nari a smile. “Perfect. Then it looks like everything is in order. Do either of you have any questions about our little guy in there?”
“No, I don’t.” Again, Nari’s eyes lifted, connecting with mine, and I shook my head while speaking.
“I think we’re good.”
“Great. It’s a pleasure, as always. Don’t forget to stop by the front desk to schedule your next appointment, and if you need me, you have all my numbers.”
“We do. Thank you, Dr. Chandler. Please tell your husband I said hello.”
“I will.”
After leaving the office, I suggested we grab something to eat.
Nari assumed it was because of Dr. Chandler’s observation, but truthfully, I just wanted to spend time with my wife.
We dined at one of her favorite cafes and got cozy in a corner booth, where we sat in a peaceful silence Nari eventually broke.
“So, word on the street is that you just purchased some property.” Nari bit into her burger, peering over it while she chewed.
“Property?”
“Yep, a town house, I think. From what I hear, it’s pretty nice.”
I chuckled and nodded, lifting my own burger. “Your mother told you?”
“She did, right before she told me she was leaving for a few weeks with Abisai to pack up her place.” Nari lifted her brow, as if goading me.
“Should I have discussed that with you first? I assumed your mother moving here permanently would be a good thing.”
“It is, but it would have been nice if I were a part of the conversation.”
“You weren’t speaking to me.”
“No, you weren’t speaking to me.”
“We weren’t speaking to each other,” I tried, meeting in the middle. Neither of us was prepared to take the blame for the past week.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she asserted, her eyes pinned to mine in a challenging manner.
“Did I?”
I was sure she had some type of feelings about what happened to Joseph, but I didn’t give a fuck about those feelings or him.
“No.”
“Are you sure?” This time, I was the one issuing a challenge.
“I don’t want to fight.”
“And we won’t. I’m only asking for clarity so there are no misunderstandings about where we are.”
“There aren’t any.” She held my stare as if attempting to assure me she wasn’t holding on to any grievances.
“Do you want to discuss anything that hasn’t been addressed?”
“No.”
“Nothing at all?”
“No, Kincaid.” She expelled an exasperated sigh. “I can’t expect you to be anything other than you are. It’s not like I woke up one day and everything about you changed. You made your point. I have to accept your way of loving me, protecting me, and keeping me—”
“Untouched.”
“I was going to say safe, but yes. I’m not angry with you, Kincaid. I get it. Your mother also gets it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something we won’t struggle with.”
I nodded as acknowledgment, not wanting us to end up traveling down that road again. After another few minutes of silence, Nari spoke.
“Have you talked to her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
I grinned, lifting my drink, keeping my eyes fastened to hers. “And what?”
“Did you apologize to your mother too?”
“Did I need to?” I lifted my brow and her pretty face twisted into a frown.
“Seriously?”
I chuckled. “Yes, I apologized because I was wrong for projecting my anger for something I couldn’t control onto her.
It wasn’t my mother’s fault, nor my father’s, but the secrets they kept to protect me potentially prevented me from protecting them.
It fucking hurts to know I could have done something had I had all the pieces. ”
“And as much as it hurts, there’s no guarantee he would still be here if you had. I’m sure she’s plagued with the same thoughts you struggle with. It’s unfair to make her the focus of your misplaced feelings.”
I stared at Nari, grinning, and she frowned again. “What?”
“Are you speaking from experience or just offering your unbiased opinion?”
“Both,” she shrugged.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” Her eyes met mine.
“And I apologize for making you the focus of my misplaced feelings. I also apologize for shutting you out when I promised never to do that again. You’ll have to grade on a curve where I’m concerned.
I’ve just recently realized I don’t have all the answers, and because of that, I may not always make the right decisions.
But regardless, my intent is never to do you any harm. ”
“Holy shit, the world must be coming to an end.” A smile split onto her face.
“And what brings you to that conclusion?”
“Because my very confident and all-knowing husband just admitted he has flaws. That is dangerously close to you admitting . . .” She paused, peeking to the left and right before tenting her mouth with her hand, whispering, “. . . that you were wrong.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“I can admit when I’m wrong. Shit, I feel like with you, I’m making that confession daily.”
“Could have fooled me because Kincaid Akel is never wrong.” She flashed that beautiful smile of hers and I chuckled.
“But seriously, are you okay with us funding a place for your mother? She wants to be close, and that’s a huge financial burden I don’t feel she should have to take on when we’re perfectly capable of handling it for her.”
“As long as it’s not because you don’t want her at our house.”
I could see how she might consider that a possibility, but I was quite fond of Endia and enjoyed having her around. She had been a great resource when it came to Nari, and beyond that, I simply enjoyed her company.
“I extended the offer for your mother to stay as long as she wanted, but she insisted that we needed space even though I assured her our home was spacious enough to accommodate us all, with the necessary privacy she somehow felt she was intruding on.”
Nari grinned. “I know. I was just giving you shit, and no, I don’t mind. I appreciate the gesture because you didn’t have to do it.”
“My commitment to you extends beyond just yourself. It’s a commitment to everyone in your life playing a role in assuring your happiness and well-being.”
She rolled her eyes. “Always so poised.”
I chuckled and nodded. “When necessary. The property your mother decided on is a three bedroom. I figured it would make sense to have a room for the baby and one for you.”
“Me?”
“You don’t plan on spending time at your mother’s house?” I stared and she seemed amused.
“So, you’re okay with me staying the night with her?”
“Of course. We can spend as much time there as you like.”
“We?”
I smirked and nodded. “We sleep in the same bed every night. Was that not one of our terms?”
“I thought the contract no longer applied.”
“It doesn’t, unless necessary and it works in my favor.”
“How is that fair?” She arched her brow and I shrugged.
“I never said it was fair, only necessary.”
Nari tossed a fry at me, and I chuckled, lifting my burger.
It felt good just to be. The past couple of months had been so incredibly taxing on both of us that I welcomed any opportunity where we could exist without looking over our shoulders or being at war with each other.
I prayed that things would remain this way, at least for a while.