Chapter 10
After a few long and draining hours, finally, natapos na rin ang klase.
Halos lahat sa amin ay mukhang pagod na pagod—lalo na yung mga hindi nakasagot ng tama sa recitation kanina.
As expected, hindi madali ang klase ni Ms.
Sanchez, lalo na't may kasamang problem-solving ang mga tanong niya. Wala siyang sinasanto—mapa-top student o hindi, talagang huhugutin niya kaagad sa recitation kung trip niya.
Nag-ayos na ang ibang classmates ko, habang ako naman ay sinadya talagang hindi pa umalis. Gusto ko pa siyang kausapin, kahit alam kong matatarayan nanaman ako.
Pagkakuha niya ng mga papel at folder sa mesa, agad akong lumapit at kinuha ang ilan sa mga hawak niya.
"Let me help you," I offered, taking some of the folders from her hands before she could protest.
She turned to me with that classic deadpan glare. "Why the hell do you keep bothering me, Gomez?" she snapped, clearly irritated—again.
Napangiwi ako pero hindi ako nagpatalo. "Grabe ka, tinutulungan ka lang naman, Miss." sabay pout, trying to act cute.
She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed. "I don't need your help, and stop pouting. You're not cute," she added, flat and savage.
"You're harsh," I muttered, pretending to be hurt kahit sanay na talaga ako sa ganitong way niya.
"That's how I am when I don't like someone," she shot back coldly.
Napangiti lang ako. Alam kong sasabihin niya yun. As always, may walls talaga siya. Pero hindi ibig sabihin titigil na ako.
"That sucks," I said casually, tilting my head a bit to look at her, "because that won't stop me from liking you."
She suddenly stopped walking, kahit isang segundo lang, then glanced at me sideways with a dead-serious face. "Quit acting like you like me," she said, her tone low but heavy.
"Hm, I'm not acting, Miss," I replied, meeting her gaze, unbothered.
She rolled her eyes at naglakad nang mas mabilis. "Funny," she muttered, almost like she was convincing herself more than me.
Ni hindi ko namalayan na nasa tapat na pala kami ng faculty room. She walked straight ahead, clearly ready to leave me behind.
"Bye, Miss! I'll miss you!" I called out with a cheeky grin habang nakatayo pa rin ako sa hallway.
As expected, hindi niya ako nilingon. She always does that—acts like I don’t exist after every conversation. Pero alam kong naririnig niya ako.
Napangiti nalang ako mag-isa habang naglalakad palayo. She can pretend all she wants, but I'm not going anywhere.
How did she know what I was doing? How much does Ms. Sanchez know about me?
---
Kanina pa natapos yung klase namin, and right after, dumiretso na kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa bar na usual naming tambayan tuwing gusto lang naming mag-relax after a long day.
Pagdating ko sa lugar, the lights were dim, music was loud, and the scent of liquor mixed with perfume lingered in the air.
I already found a spot at our usual booth near the corner, at agad akong sinundan ng mga kaibigan ko.
"Hanap tayo bebegirls," agad na sambit ni Cecilia habang umuupo sa tabi ko, scanning the crowd with playful eyes.
"Kayo nalang," sagot ko, habang umiinom ng kaunti sa glass ko. I wasn’t in the mood to flirt or meet new people tonight.
"Feel ko talaga may sineseryoso ka na, Syl," sabi ni Cecilia, habang nakatingin sa akin na parang nagbabasa ng isipan.
Me? Seriously involved with someone? I almost laughed at the thought. Impossible.
"Nah," sagot ko, sabay iling, trying to dismiss the idea casually.
"In denial siya," biro naman ni Kinsley habang tumatawa, obviously trying to provoke a reaction from me.
"That's impossible, in the first place," sagot ko, sabay tingin sa kanila ng deadpan.
Kinsley raised her brows and grinned. "You're right, you don't like being serious with anyone. Mabilis kang magsawa, mabilis ka ring mawala."
"Alam mo naman pala, ba't tinanong mo pa?" sarcastic kong sagot habang umiinom ulit. The taste of the alcohol burned slightly, but it felt good. Familiar.
"Baka ngayon hindi, pero soon, oo. Hindi mo naman alam ihip ng hangin," sagot ni Eliana, crossing her legs and twirling her glass dramatically.
"Tama," sabat ni Cecilia. "Sabi nga ni Eliana noon straight siya, pero binaliko ng isang babae!" dagdag pa niya habang tumatawa.
Biglang hinampas siya ni Eliana sa braso, sabay sabing, "Hoy, tumigil ka nga diyan!"
We all burst into laughter. The vibe was light, fun, and chaotic—just how I liked it. For a moment, I forgot about everything else. I forgot about school, recitations, and even that one professor who’s always on my mind for some damn reason.
"Bakit? Ikaw nga sabi mo hindi kana mag-iinom pero halos laklakin mo lahat ng alak eh!" sagot pa ni Eliana rito.
"Oh? Ba't ka namemersonal?" tanging nasagot ni Cecilia habang nakakunot ang noo, pero halatang hindi naman siya galit. She was just slightly caught off guard, and her tone made it clear na biro lang naman ang lahat. Kaya natawa nalang si Eliana, trying to brush off the tension with a light chuckle.
"Tara na nga, hanap na tayo bebegirls," sabi ni Kinsley, clearly eager to scout the room for potential flings. Tumayo na ito agad, dala ang kanyang drink, sabay kindat sa amin.
Sumunod naman si Cecilia. “I swear, Kinsley has radar for hot girls,” sabi pa niya bago nawala sa paningin namin, clearly hyped.
In a matter of seconds, it was just Eliana and me left at the booth. The background noise faded a bit in my head. The bar was still busy—music blasting, people dancing, drinks clinking—but in our little corner, it felt quieter.
Actually, out of all of us, si Eliana talaga ang pinaka-chill. She just silently sips her drink, minsan nakikinig lang, rarely joining in sa mga kalokohan. She never liked playing with people's feelings, and definitely not into one-night stands. She was... different.
“Eli,” tawag ko sa kanya, my voice a little softer than usual.
“Hm?” she responded, her eyes not leaving her drink, still swirling the ice with her straw.
"I'm just curious," I began, leaning back against the seat while staring at her profile. "Why don't you try getting into a relationship or, you know, playing the field a little?"
She raised an eyebrow, slowly turning to look at me with a small, amused smile. “Curious?” she said, a short chuckle escaping her lips.
“Stop laughing,” I told her, pretending to be annoyed, pero halata naman sa tono ko na hindi ako seryoso. I was genuinely curious. Eliana was beautiful, smart, and had this quiet confidence about her—anyone would be lucky to have her. Kaya nakakapagtaka.
She sighed softly, resting her elbow on the table and looking down at her drink. “Just one reason,” she said, her smile fading slightly, replaced with a distant expression I rarely saw on her face.
I leaned forward, my curiosity deepening. “What’s that reason?”
She was quiet for a few seconds, staring at the melting ice in her glass, as if the answer was floating somewhere inside the drink. Then she finally looked up at me, her eyes serious.
"I'm waiting for someone," sagot nito and I was speechless when I heard that. Ngayon ko lang nalaman.
"Speechless?" she said, a hint of amusement in her chuckle.
"I've been waiting for her for almost three years now. I think I'm an idiot, waiting for someone who probably doesn't even think about me, not even once," she admitted, a sad smile playing on her lips. The sadness in her eyes was unmistakable. "I can't even touch another person; it feels like cheating, even though we're not even together. I even think she's forgotten me already."
"What does she have that makes you so completely crazy about her?" I asked, genuinely perplexed. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about anyone.
"I don't know," she chuckled, a wistful expression softening her features. "But I just know that even if she doesn't do anything, it makes me fall for her. I can't explain it, but I know I'd do anything for her, even sacrifice everything."
"You're crazy," I said, and she laughed.
"Love is really unexpected, Syl. You don't see it coming. You just wake up one day and realize you're already in love," she said, and I nodded, understanding dawning on me.
I never thought of that before; I never imagined falling that deeply in love with someone. It seems…nonsense. I'll just marry my alcohol and cigarettes soon enough. Speaking of cigarettes, I reached into my pocket, only to find my pack empty.
"Do you have any cigarettes?" I asked Eliana.
"I quit smoking," sagot nito. Oo nga pala, nakalimutan ko.
"Right. I'll go out and buy some," I said, and she nodded.
I grabbed my wallet and headed for the nearest convenience store. I decided to walk; malapit nalang naman. As I walked, I noticed a girl ahead of me who looked familiar. I followed her, not really, same direction lang talaga kami nang pupuntahan.
Habang papalapit na ako sa 7/11, naramdaman kong unti-unting bumibilis ang tibok but I don't even know why. Kaya binilisan ko na ang lakad ko, determined na makapasok agad sa loob at magpalamig kahit sandali.
Pero hindi ko in-expect na may mangyayari bago pa man ako makalapit sa pinto.
Bigla na lang may babaeng nasa harapan ko ang pumihit at pinaghahampas ako gamit ang kanyang bag.
“O-Ouch! What the hell?!” sigaw ko habang tinatakpan ko ang ulo ko gamit ang braso ko. Hindi man lang siya tumigil! Dere-deretso pa rin ang mga hampas niya na parang ako 'yung pumatay sa alaga niya o kung ano man!
Napapaatras ako habang pilit na iniilagan ang sunod-sunod na hampas niya. “Ano ba!” sigaw ko at mabilis kong inabot ang kamay niya para pigilan siya. Hinawakan ko ito nang mahigpit pero maingat, baka kasi matanda na siya—baka mabalian pa ako ng konsensiya.
Nang nakuha ko na 'yung kamay niya, doon ko lang siya tuluyang tiningnan. Nang lumingon siya at nasilayan ko ang mukha niya, halos maluwa ko 'yung mata ko sa gulat.
“Ms. Sanchez?!”
Nakakunot ang noo ko habang pinagmamasdan ko siya. Nakapikit siya nang mahigpit, parang bang may multo siyang nakita o kinakatakutan niyang may sasaksak sa likod niya. Literal na paranoid ang aura niya, like she was on high alert.
“Ms. Sanchez,” ulit ko habang dahan-dahang niluluwagan ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay niya. “What are you doing here?”
Unti-unti siyang dumilat, pero nanlilisik pa rin ang mga mata niya. Naguluhan pa rin ang mukha niya, pero this time, para siyang nagulat nang makita ako.
“You... are you the one who keeps following me?! You're crazy, Gomez!” sigaw niya na may halong inis at takot.
Napanganga ako. What the actual—?! Kaya pala niya ako hinampas ng walang kaabog-abog, akala niya stalker ako?
Napatawa ako, hindi dahil sa tuwa, kundi dahil sa sobrang weird ng buong eksena.
"That's why you keep hampas your bag to me," sabi ko.
"That's stalking, Gomez!" sabi niya. Mas natawa nalang ako kasi alam kong may point siya, pero hindi naman 'yon sadya.
"Hmm, your stalker is hot, then. Wouldn't you want a stalker like me? Kinakabaliwan kaya ako nang lahat, swerte mo nga sa akin," pagbibiro ko, nilaro ang tingin ko sa kanya habang naglalakad kami papunta sa counter.
She rolled her eyes, "Their standards must be pretty low, then," ang matalim niyang sagot. Grabe, harsh!
"You're just in denial. Admit it already," dagdag ko, sinusubukan ko siyang pahiyain kahit papaano.
"Over my dead body, Gomez," mahigpit niyang sabi, na parang ayaw niyang may sumakop sa puso niya.
"Ay sus," umangal ako, sabay sulyap sa paligid. "Btw, may bibilhin ka ba, Miss? I'll buy it for you," tanong ko, parang seryoso pero may halong pabibo.
"Tsk, I can buy it for myself," sagot niya na sobrang sungit, walang halong kilig, pero halata kong may pa-smile sa dulo ng bibig niya.
Napailing ako sa kanya, "Lagi ka bang ganito ka-seryosohin?"
"Are you already becoming a crazy person?" tanong niya, naka-cross arms habang tinitingnan akong parang may ibang planeta ako galing.
"Crazy for you," sagot ko na may ngiti na kalat-kalat, pero hindi niya ako pinansin. Simula nang may konting distansya na siya, naglakad na at nag-libot.
"Gosh, wait for me, Miss!" sigaw ko, binilisan ang lakad papunta sakanya.
Nakita ko siya sa freezer section, pinipili ang ice cream. Strawberry flavor at fresh milk — ang hipster niya. Samantalang ako naman, diretso ako sa cigarettes section. Hawak ko na yung pakete nang bigla niyang nakita.
"Smoking is not good for your health," sabi niya habang naglalakad papunta sa counter, sinilip ang hawak kong sigarilyo.
"I'll only stop if you tell me to," sagot ko na parang may bahid ng paghamon. Tumingin siya sa akin, tapos ngumiti ako nang bahagya.
"I don't care about you," ani niya sabay hawak sa mga binili, inilagay sa maliit niyang bag, tapos lumakad palabas ng tindahan.
She's really a hard to get one.
"Ayos lang po 'yan," sabi ng babaeng nasa counter habang kinukuha yung binili ko.
Lumabas na ako ng convenience store, then I lit up my cigarette, the cold night air biting at my skin.
I took a long drag, the smoke filling my lungs as I kept my eyes on Ms.
Sanchez.
She was already a bit ahead, walking steadily down the quiet street.
It was late, and honestly, I couldn’t just let her go like that.
What if something happened?
I followed at a safe distance, careful not to make it obvious. The streetlights cast long shadows, making everything feel a little eerie. My mind was racing — why did I care so much? Why did I feel this urge to protect her even though she clearly didn’t want me hovering around?
When she finally stopped in front of her house, I watched her go inside. Only after the door closed behind her did I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
I headed toward the bar nearby. It took me about thirty minutes to get there, mostly because I kept thinking about what just happened, about her words and that look in her eyes.
As soon as I walked in, Eliana gave me a look. “What took you so long?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Just had some company,” I replied with a small smirk, nodding toward her.
She tilted her head, clearly not buying my casual tone but decided not to push it.
“I don’t want to assume or anything, but these past few days, you really seem suspicious, ha. Hindi talaga ikaw ‘yan,” Eliana said, half-teasing but with a hint of seriousness, while we were sitting in the canteen.
She smiled, but I could tell she wasn’t just joking around. It wasn’t the first time I heard that from her or from others—Kinsley, Cecilia.
Like, how can I possibly change? Did I really change? Because from where I’m standing, I feel the same. Same thoughts, same feelings, same everything.
Then suddenly, one person popped into my mind, uninvited.
Miss Sanchez.
Ugh, erase that thought. Why is she always there? It’s so annoying. I don’t even like her, yet she’s somehow the reason why everything feels... different.
“What the hell?” I whispered under my breath.
“No. I’m usually like this? Ano bang mali?” I replied to Eliana, shrugging as casually as I could. Trying to act confident, even though there was a little defensiveness in my voice.
She looked at me like she wanted to say more, but just smiled and said, “Okay, if that’s how you feel.”
But inside, there was still this knot in my stomach. Why do I feel like I’m trapped in some invisible cage, like something inside me shifted—and I don’t even know how or why?
---
Nasa university na kami, and we were lining up for the auditions. Pinili ko yung singing club kasi si Ms. Sanchez at si Ms. Dizon ang in-charge, and saka mas gusto ko yung vibe dun.
O dahil lang nandoon siya?
Kasama ko si Kinsley, sobrang hype niya today.
"Kinakabahan ako! Pero worth it naman 'to dahil nandito si Ms. Sanchez," narinig ko siyang bumulong sa harap namin habang hawak-hawak niya ang mikropono.
"Tama ka, pero si Ms. Dizon talaga habol ko, like ackkk," sagot niya may konting kilig, tapos tumili pa si Kinsley na parang pinipigil na tumawa.
“Next,” tawag ni Ms. Dizon sa harap, at sumunod na yung nasa unahan namin.
Biglang umakyat yung nasa unahan sa stage, humarap sa mikropono, tapos nagsimula siyang kumanta:
"Tanong mo sa akin
Sino ang aking mahal
Tanong mo sa akin
Sagot ko'y di magtatagal—"
Okay naman sana yung boses niya, medyo malambing, pero hindi ko in-expect ang susunod na nangyari.
“Ikaw lang ang aking~” pagpiyok niya bigla habang kumakanta, tapos natapilok siya sa kanta.
Sa likod ko, hindi mapigilan ni Kinsley ang tawa. Halos humalakhak na siya nang ganun.
"Pftttttt, putangina! HAHAHAHHAA!" narinig ko siyang humiyaw ng malakas habang tawa nang tawa.
Natawa rin ako kahit medyo nahihiya ako sa nangyari.
“Next,” sabi ni Ms. Dizon, tapos ako na yung sumunod na aakyat sa stage.
Lumakad ako papasok, medyo kinakabahan na kasi sobrang intense tingin ni Ms. Sanchez, tapos si Ms. Dizon naman ang may ngiti sa mukha na parang encouraging.
“Good luck, sana hindi ka pumiyok, pfftt,” bulong ni Kinsley sa akin, na parang taunting pero may halong suporta.
Pumasok na ako sa stage, nilingon ko si Ms. Sanchez. Tahimik siyang tumingin sa akin, walang kahit kaunting ekspresyon—cold and unreadable talaga.
Si Ms. Dizon naman ay ngumiti, “Hi, honey, you can start anytime,” sabi niya nang friendly, pero ramdam ko pa rin yung tensyon sa paligid.
Deep breath. Pinikit ko ng konti yung mata ko para kalmahin sarili ko, tapos nagsimula akong kumanta ng paborito kong kanta. Habang kumakanta ako, nararamdaman ko yung mga mata nila na naka-focus sa akin—parang sa isang exam na sobrang dami ng pressure.
I hummed before starting to sing, "You're just too good to be true..."
"Can't take my eyes off of you,
You'd be like Heaven to touch," I sang, looking at Ms. Sanchez.
"I wanna hold you so much,
At long last love has arrived,
And I thank God I'm alive," I sang, offering a small smile to Ms. Sanchez, but she remained emotionless.
Ouch.
"You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you," I sang, keeping my gaze fixed on Ms. Sanchez.
"Thank you, honey, you can go now. Next," Ms. Dizon said, but Ms. Sanchez returned her attention to her papers without a smile or any acknowledgment.
Sumunod naman na kumanta si Kinsley at nagulat ako sa kinanta nito. Kumanta ito ng jumbo hatdog sabay sayaw.
"That's all, and I thank you!" sabi pa nito bago umalis.
Hindi ko 'yan kaibigan!