Chapter Five
Benji
Signs of the holidays began to pop up on storefronts on Main Street, but Benji wasn’t feeling the joy of the season. At all. After that strange encounter with Gil in his apartment, he made every attempt to talk to him and find out what had happened to make him run for his life.
The following day, he waited for Gil’s daily appearance for his muffin. But he never showed. Two days passed, and Benji decided it was stupid to stare out the window, making up conversations between them in his head when he could simply cross the street and have a discussion like two adults.
Except every time he walked into the store there were customers, and Gil rebuffed his attempts to speak.
So he did what any person with a degree in findoutology would do. He opened up Google and searched Gil’s name. With a sinking heart and tears in his eyes, Benji read the story of Gil’s husband’s tragic death. It was just a small article about the accident, but Benji knew the huge, devastating impact it had on Gil’s life.
“It all makes sense now. He ran away here to hide from life.”
Benji decided to leave Gil alone, but before he left for the Thanksgiving holiday, he made up a special batch of muffins, using recipes he’d researched on the Internet. He boxed them up with a note inside.
Happy Thanksgiving. I used you as an inspiration. I hope you enjoy them and have a good weekend. I’m going home—be back Sunday morning. Hope to hear from you.
On a whim, he left his email and phone number and headed out to the airport. In the flurry of closing the store and last-minute holiday orders, he hadn’t paid much attention to the weather. By the time he got to the airport an ugly nor’easter had swept in, bringing hail, howling winds and blinding rain. He, along with thousands of others, watched in dismay as flight after flight was canceled. And of course, the storm was predicted to last for two to four days. There was no hope of rebooking either, as every flight was sold out for the holiday weekend.
After five hours and several phone calls home, hearing his mother sniffle in his ear when he informed her he was stuck, he called an Uber and waited an hour for the pickup. Seven hours after he’d left, he returned home. Torrents of rain poured from the sky and he sat at his window, staring out at the street below. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and everything on Main Street was closed. Even Gil’s store was dark.
His phone rang, and Isaac’s number popped up. “You’re stuck? Our flight’s canceled too. We’re at my mom’s. JFK and LaGuardia have canceled everything for the day and no flights out until Saturday. Can you rent a car? Maybe you can come to us.”
“I could try, although the roads around here were pretty flooded.” As they spoke, Benji checked rental car companies on his laptop. “No go. Everything’s booked for tomorrow and the next day. It’s too late for today. Doesn’t make sense to come Saturday and leave on Sunday. I guess I’ll stay here and eat whatever I’ve got in the fridge.”
“Hold on a sec.” He heard muffled voices in the background, and waited over two minutes for Isaac to return. “Levi just spoke to his aunt and uncle, and they said they have more than enough food. Jacob and Alyssa and the kids will be there. They’re expecting you for Thanksgiving dinner.”
“What? I can’t just—”
“Sure you can,” Isaac cut him off. “They’re family and the most generous people I’ve ever met.” He chuckled. “You already know Aunt Daisy is a great cook.”
“But…it’s weird for me to just show up, don’t you think?”
“Nope. You’re invited. Period. End of story. Bring some rugelach or a babka. They’ll like that.”
“Uh, okay. Thanks. You’ll have to give me their address.”
“I’ll text it to you. Talk to you later. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Same to you and the family.”
He ended the call and a text popped up from Isaac with Hank and Daisy’s address and phone number. Benji jumped up.
“Better get baking. Oh, shit. Gil’s muffins.” He ran down the stairs and out the door, heedless of the pouring rain, across Main Street to Gil’s door. The box was gone, but he couldn’t be sure if it had been blown away by the heavy wind gusts or someone had taken it. “Dammit.”
Dejection weighed heavily on him, and he hunched his shoulders to cross the street. Headlights swept across the street and a horn honked.
“Shut up, idiot,” Benji mumbled to himself before realizing he wasn’t at home or in New York City. He put up a hand in apology and continued walking.
“Benji?”
He blinked and peered through the pouring rain at the half-open window. “Gil? What’re you doing here?”
“I forgot my wallet at the store.”
“Oh. I figured you’d be on your way home for Thanksgiving by now.”
Gil’s mouth drooped. “Most of my family are all sick with the flu—they told me not to come.” His lips ticked up in a wry smile. “So your muffins will come in handy as Thanksgiving dinner.”
Water continued to drench him as he stared at Gil. “You can’t be serious. How about going to the diner…some place must be open for the holiday around here.”
Gil shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I’ll make do. You’d better get out of the rain, or you might get sick too,” he pointed out. “Thanks again for the muffins.”
“Yeah, sure,” Benji replied automatically. “Happy Thanksgiving.” He hurried across the street and entered his building.
Gil pulled into the parking space in front of his store. It took him only a few minutes to dash inside and return. He drove away and Benji turned and climbed the one flight up to his apartment where he stripped off his wet things and lay on the couch.
Bad enough to spend the holiday alone, but to have nothing good to eat? Food was such an important part of being Jewish. Family celebrations of holidays filled with special delicious food—matzo ball soup for Passover, sweet noodle kugel for Rosh Hashana, and cheesy, dairy goodness for Shavuot. And of course, latkes for Hanukkah.
Except for Yom Kippur, when he fasted, but Benji didn’t like to think about that.
He took out his phone and texted Isaac.
I just found out that Gil is also stuck here and has no place to go. Do you think it’s weird if I ask Levi’s aunt if he could come too? I just feel bad that he’s all alone.
He chewed his lip. It was a stupid idea. He barely knew the family and here he was inviting someone to their house for a holiday meal. That was the definition of chutzpah .
Isaac didn’t answer, so he decided to figure out what to bring to the meal. A few pies, of course and he was going to make a loaf of Gil’s spice cake. Maybe he should bring some latkes and see how they’d be received, in case he decided to sell them at the store during Hanukkah.
His mind wandered as he mixed the ingredients for the pie dough. That time when Gil had come upstairs and they’d sat and talked…he felt something shift between them. A spark of desire he wished could ignite to a flame. Yeah, he could admit he had a huge crush on the man.
Benji rolled out the pastry and draped it in the pie pans, weighed them down with baking beads, then slid them in the oven to prebake. Discovering Gil had been married and lost his husband only made Benji want to put his arms around him and protect him from ever getting hurt again.
He chopped apples and coated them with a mixture of brown sugar, cinnamon, and ginger. The pie crusts were ready and he let them cool. His phone pinged, and he saw Isaac had texted back.
Levi spoke to Daisy and she said absolutely invite him. She buys all her spices there. And I knew you liked him.
Benji waited a second before hitting the Call button.
“What is it?” Isaac asked.
“First of all, is your mother there? I don’t want you talking about this within earshot.”
“No, she’s in the kitchen. I’m in the living room with the game on. Levi’s at the firehouse.”
“So…it’s about Gil. I need your opinion.”
“Yeah, sure, of course.”
“I found out he was married and his husband died six years ago. I’m thinking that’s why he’s so quiet and withdrawn. But—”
“You like him.”
Even though they were on the phone, Benji’s face burned. “Uh, yeah. There’s something there…I don’t know. He’s so sad, and I know he’s got so much bottled up inside him.”
“You’re worried that he’s still hung up on his husband. And he isn’t ready?”
“Kind of.”
“It’s been six years. And yeah, there’s no time limit on how long someone should grieve but also, that’s a pretty significant period of mourning. I think you should go for it.”
“He came to my apartment and I thought maybe…anyway, he jumped up and ran out.”
“Sounds like he’s scared to take the first step.”
“I think so.”
“Then help him.”
“Thanks, Iz.”
“Hey, that’s what big cousins are for,” he joked. “And don’t worry about asking him. Levi’s having Daisy call him, so you don’t have to. She’s gonna say she heard he was stuck home.”
“He’ll still know it was from me.”
“So what? He’ll know you’re a nice guy? Just because you fell for a jerk once doesn’t mean you have to keep making the same mistake. From what I remember of our conversation, he seemed like a decent person. And you don’t have to fall in love with him. Just have a good time.”
“True,” Benji admitted.
“Besides,” Isaac snickered, “remember you’re supposed to be in love. Now you can pretend it’s Gil.”
“Oh God, don’t remind me. Thanks again, Iz. I appreciate it.”
“Let me know how it turns out.”
Benji ended the call and finished making the rest of his goodies. He decided to make the latkes and put them in the freezer but as he took out the grater, his phone began to ding with texts. He ran to check and saw they were from Gil.
Why did you tell Daisy I had no place to go for the holiday? That wasn’t a call for help.
And a minute after.
Now she’s invited me for dinner—insisted is more like it. I can’t say no.
Benji grew annoyed at Gil’s abruptness.
Why would you want to? That’s called being neighborly. And yes I thought it would be nice that you wouldn’t have to spend the holidays alone. Sue me for being thoughtful.
Less than two minutes passed before he received the answering text.
I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. It was nice of you but I was fine with being alone.
He thought for a moment, then decided to hell with it.
No one should be alone on a holiday. I’ll see you tomorrow night.
When there was no answering response, he sighed and returned to the kitchen to make the latkes. Gil was trying to keep him at arm’s length, but Benji had no doubt of the attraction that flared between them each time they met. Now it was up to him to decide if he wanted to make a move.
**
“Daisy, the meal was delicious,” Benji stated after clearing his second plate of food. “Don’t tell my mother, but your stuffing is even better than hers.”
Daisy blushed. “Thank you, and I promise not to say a word when we meet.” She glanced at Hank, who was helping himself to another portion of latkes. “Your Aunt Amanda gave me the recipe for theses latkes once, but they never come out as good. And the homemade applesauce has some really nice spices in it.”
“For the latkes, the trick is squeezing out as much water as you can from the potatoes and the onions. And for the applesauce, it’s cinnamon, nutmeg and a little allspice.” He smiled across the table at Gil, who’d sat in polite silence for most of the night aside from complimenting Daisy on the meal. He’d made a delicious side dish of potatoes with ground beef and chopped eggs—not a traditional shepherd’s pie, but a twist on it.
Jacob was feeding their little girl, Lucy, with one hand while eating with the other. He chewed and swallowed. “It’s all amazing, Aunt Daisy. I think I gained ten pounds.”
Sitting next to Daisy, Alyssa finished cutting up the turkey for their son, Avery, and nodded. “Delicious as usual, Aunt Daisy. I’ve tried to make some of your recipes, but they never come out as good.”
Daisy patted her hand. “Don’t you worry, honey. It took me years to hit my cooking stride. You’re a busy woman with two babies and a full-time job, plus managing my nephew.”
“Hey,” Jacob protested. “I’m a great husband.”
“Now, you know your aunt’s teasing you,” Hank said. “We’re very proud of how you stepped up. You’re a great father, too.”
Alyssa tasted the potato pie Gil had brought. “Your dish is really interesting. I’ve never tasted anything like it.”
“It’s very good, Gil. I love the spices—I don’t think I’ve ever thought of using cinnamon in a savory dish,” Daisy remarked and took another bite.
A faint smile touched his lips. “It’s Moroccan—called pastelle . There’s cumin and coriander in it as well.”
Daisy took another serving to sample it. “Yes, that’s what I couldn’t figure out. So unusual but so good.”
“I like it all,” Hank declared. “Give me over another slice.”
“We can tell, dear,” Daisy pointed to his stomach. “Don’t think I didn’t see you loosen your belt halfway through the meal.”
“More of me to love.”
They all laughed, even Gil, and Benji’s breath caught at the rare sight of his twinkling dark eyes and flushed cheeks.
“I hope you all saved room for dessert. We have pumpkin pie, carrot cake, and Benji brought an apple pie and a spice cake I’m dying to try because it smells so good. I’ll just clear the table.”
“I’ll make the coffee.” Hank rose to his feet, and they all stood.
“Let me help.” He and Gil spoke in unison.
“Well, thank you very much, but you’re guests.”
Benji picked up two of the platters with leftovers. “Well…since Isaac and Levi are together, I’m practically family.”
“And I can’t sit here by myself and let everyone else work.” Gil grabbed two more serving dishes. “Besides, it’ll go faster if we all clean up.”
Jacob and Alyssa picked up the children and took their plates to the kitchen.
“Gil’s right.” Benji grinned. “That way we get to dessert faster.”
“Can’t argue with that, Daisy.” Hank chuckled, and she threw up her hands in defeat.
“I give up. You’re all stubborn as mules.”
The food was all put away in less than fifteen minutes and the dessert spread was a picture. Chatting away about the weather and how lucky they were to be able to have both him and Gil there for dinner, Daisy set out pretty flowered china plates, and the coffeepot was brought to the table. Benji could see why Isaac loved Daisy and Hank; they were funny, warm, and loving people. He was glad he’d made cookies for the children. Jacob handed one to the little boy, who stuffed it into his mouth, and they all laughed.
Gil cleared his throat. “Thank you so much for opening your home tonight to me. I know I’m a stranger, and it was very kind of you.”
“Well, aren’t you the sweetest,” Daisy exclaimed with a broad smile. “We love having young people around. And no one should be alone at the holidays. Hopefully you’ll see your family at Christmastime.”
Gil smiled but remained silent, and Benji rushed to add to Gil’s words.
“Really, Daisy, Hank. I appreciate it as well. Isaac has always told us how welcoming you were to him, and our family will never forget that.”
She wiped her eyes. “We just love Isaac to death. He’s such a sweetheart. And we’re so happy you’re here. Make sure you don’t become a stranger. Either of you. You’re always welcome.”
“Daisy’s right. Our house is always open if you need anything.”
They sat over the pies, cakes, and coffee. Jacob and Alyssa gathered up the children’s things and packed them up.
“Thank you, Aunt Daisy, Uncle Hank,” Jacob kissed them, and Avery ran up to Daisy. “Grandma.” He lifted his arms up to be held and Daisy bent to pick him up and kissed him.
“Love you, baby.” She kissed him again and handed him to Jacob. “See you this weekend?”
“Sunday dinner, for sure. Bye, guys. Get home safe. Still raining like crazy out there, and there’s a flash-flood warning.”
Benji pulled out his phone to see the warnings from the weather service. It had been raining nonstop since that morning. He hoped he’d be able to find a car to take him home. “I’d better call for a car. I have no idea how long it’ll take.”
Jacob made a face. “I’d drive you, but we didn’t take the truck tonight—it was making a funny sound—and with the two kids’ car seats in the back, there isn’t room.”
He waved Jacob off. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll find a way.”
“Worse comes to worse, you stay here with us, honey.” Daisy patted his arm. “We have plenty of room.”
Jacob and his family left, the wind and rain still howling outside. They shut the door quickly to keep the wet out. Gil pulled out his car keys. “Ready? Come on, I’ll drive you.”
Shocked, Benji’s jaw dropped. “Uh, no, that’s completely out of your way. You don’t have to….”
Ignoring him, Gil made his good-byes. “Daisy, Hank, thank you again for the most wonderful meal and company. It couldn’t have been any more delicious.”
Daisy’s cheeks turned pink. “Thank you so much. We loved having you and getting to know you better. I’ll be by sometime next week. Have to begin thinking of Christmas dinner.”
Still in disbelief, Benji thanked Daisy and Hank. “I really appreciate you taking me in tonight. I had a great time, and the food was amazing.”
“Thank you, honey. You and Gil get home safe. Be careful on the turn—it gets pretty muddy.”
In the driving wind and rain, they bent their heads and made a run for Gil’s Jeep. An umbrella wouldn’t have shielded them so by the time they got inside, both of them were drenched.
“Ready?” Gil started the engine and turned on the windshield wipers full force.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to do this. I could’ve stayed over.”
Gil glanced at him, then put the car in gear. “I know.”
What did he mean by that? Did Gil want to be alone with him? Was he giving him a signal?
No need to worry that they’d be run off the road by the bad weather, Gil was an expert driver, taking the roads slow. Twenty minutes later, Gil slid into a spot in front of Benji’s building. He kept the engine running.
“Thank you. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been home alone.”
“I’m glad you were there.”
The wind howled, shaking the Jeep. Face blanched white, dark eyes burning, Gil gripped the wheel. “I was married. Six years ago, my husband was killed in a car accident, and I haven’t been the same since.”
Even though he already knew, hearing the devastation in Gil’s voice hit him like a lead weight, and Benji’s stomach plummeted. “God, Gil. I’m so sorry.”
His head hung low. “I want to move on, but not if it means forgetting him.”
“You don’t ever forget someone you loved. They leave an indelible mark on your life. I can’t imagine the pain you went through.”
“My family tells me it’s time for me to go out and date. Have fun. But they don’t understand it’s not that simple.”
“You never expected to be in this position. No one prepares for it. But I’m sure they’re saying it because they’re concerned about you, and they want you to be happy again.”
Gil raised his head, and the anguish in his eyes nearly undid Benji. “I’m not sure I know how.”
Benji remembered his phone call with Isaac:
“Sounds like he’s scared to take the first step.”
“I think so.”
“Then help him.”
Benji put a hand on Gil’s arm. “One step at a time. Would you like to come upstairs with me?”