Chapter Seven
Benji
He kissed Gil good-bye and watched as he drove off, but he wasn’t sad. Because they were both supposed to be away for the weekend, their stores were closed. They’d decided take a ride out in the country and have lunch. Hopefully most people would be out shopping for Black Friday, and they could visit some farmstands which were still open or find a few early holiday markets. He needed to buy Hanukkah presents for his family but he didn’t want to spend his time with Gil running around in crowded stores. His phone rang and, seeing it was Isaac, he had to remember his cousin was as intuitive as he was good-looking and smart. He and Gil hadn’t discussed how they’d behave going forward, but he had a feeling Gil wanted to keep things between them.
“Hey, Iz. How was Thanksgiving?”
“Good. The turkey was juicy, and the stuffing was the bomb. And I heard you had a great time. All of you, Gil included.” He paused. “Aunt Daisy mentioned he drove you home.”
“Yeah, he did. It was really nice of him.”
“ Mmm . Daisy said he was very nice. And she thought you’d make a sweet couple.”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” he muttered. “Where is that coming from?” Dread shot through him. “Where’s Aunt Amanda? Is she there?”
Isaac snickered. “Nah, she’s out shopping. She’s determined to finish all her Hanukkah and Christmas shopping in one day.”
Relieved, he wiped his forehead. “Good.” He chewed on his lips. “Let me ask you something.”
“You hooked up with him, didn’t you? Good for you.”
A FaceTime request popped up from Isaac, and he accepted it.
“Yes and no. It’s complicated.”
Isaac rolled his eyes. “No shit. When aren’t relationships? Listen, if Levi and I can figure it out, you and Gil can too. What’s the scoop?”
“Remember, he was married. It’s only been six years. But they were very much in love. I’m the first guy he’s even kissed since it happened.”
Isaac’s brow wrinkled, then smoothed. “First of all, in a way that’s good. For you I mean.”
“How?”
“You’re thinking you’re the rebound guy. The first one he’s with but not the last. That he’s just testing the waters. Am I right?”
Benji hung his head. “I mean…yeah, maybe. I guess so.”
“Don’t. I see it another way. There’s something about you he’s noticed. You, out of everyone he’s come in contact with over the years, managed to make him feel alive again. He’s decided to move forward with you. I say grab hold of it and don’t let him go.”
As a kid, he’d looked up to his older cousin and had loved hanging out with him. Isaac was always the fun one, telling them stories of being on a hit television show, meeting famous stars. Joking and never taking anything or anyone serious.
This was a different Isaac. Those famous blue eyes of his were somber. Benji wondered at the terrible things he’d seen rushing into burning buildings. He couldn’t imagine that kind of bravery.
“And here I thought you were just another pretty face, Iz,” he joked, then became serious. “Thanks. I think…I think I really like this guy. It feels different this time. Maybe that sounds clichéd; I don’t know.”
“I understand. I’d never thought about settling down or having a permanent relationship but once I met Levi, I wasn’t about to let him go.”
After the call, he lay around the apartment, thinking. Or maybe overthinking as he usually did. As tender and close as they’d gotten, Benji didn’t want to press Gil for anything more than he could give. His phone vibrated with a call from his mother, and he hit Speaker.
“Hi, Mom. How was Thanksgiving?”
“So good. Everything was perfect, except you weren’t here. Is it still raining?”
He peered out the window. “Not as hard as it was, but yeah.”
“I wish you could’ve gotten a flight out. Do you think maybe you could come for Hanukkah instead?”
God, he felt so bad. He hadn’t seen them in months. “Ahh, I don’t know. It falls right during Christmas this year, and I’ve already started taking holiday orders for people having parties. Plus I’ve contracted with several groups for their office parties. I could try, but it might only be a couple of days at the most. Besides, I thought you were all going on a cruise for the holiday.”
“We are, but maybe you could come the weekend before. Or after.”
“Yeah, I could try.” He checked his watch. If he wanted to make some snacks for the drive, he’d better move his ass.
“You sound distracted. Everything okay? The business is doing well?”
His lips twitched. Her antennae were on alert. “All good here. I’m still full from last night. Levi’s aunt can sure cook. Although not as good as you,” he added hastily.
She laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not insulted. I’ve heard how delicious her food is.” She paused. “I heard they had another refugee from the storm. Levi said he’s a friend of yours. But where was your boyfriend? And how come you never talk about him?” Once interrogation mode was activated, it was hard to get Shari Roth to stop.
He was so going to kill Levi.
“Ari got lucky and flew out Tuesday, so he missed the storm. He’ll be home tomorrow night.”
“And he didn’t invite you to his parents’ for the holiday? Have you ever met them?”
If he answered yes, that would be going way too far in his lie—plus, it would hurt his mother and that wasn’t something he could do. “No, I haven’t. And I was supposed to be with you, remember?”
“That’s true. Well, maybe he can come with you this time.”
He put a hand over his face. Why had he created this stupid fake boyfriend? Eventually he’d have to break them up, especially if he and Gil were going to…do whatever.
“Yeah, maybe. Listen, I’d better go. I have a ton of stuff to do around here that I’ve neglected—laundry, bills, inventory….”
None of which were important to her. “But you’re happy, aren’t you? No regrets about leaving? I don’t mean to sound crass, but you made such a good living at the investment bank. I don’t want you to struggle.”
Lucky him to have parents who cared. He knew there were plenty, like Levi and Jacob, whose parents wanted nothing to do with them—Jacob because he fell in love with a woman who’d had a child out of wedlock and Levi because he was gay. Jacob had told them the story of his overly strict upbringing and subsequent parental abandonment. “I love it here. I still have substantial investments, and I own the building. I prepared for this move for years, and I know what I’m doing. Diamond Investments paid me really, really well. Don’t worry about me at all.”
“You’re my only child. I’ll always worry about you.”
“Love you. Say hi to Dad. He’s out playing golf?”
“Of course. And I’ll be hitting the mall with Jessica Berlin in about an hour.”
“May you both have strength.”
“Bye, darling. Talk to you soon.”
She ended the call and he sighed. Somehow he sensed this fake boyfriend story would come crashing down on him, but for now, all he wanted to think about was spending the day with Gil Navarro. He shook his head and went to the kitchen to make some muffins.
**
“Whatcha got there?” Gil eyed the bag in his lap when Benji settled into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt.
Deciding to flirt a little, Benji waggled his brows. “Depends on what you’re looking at.”
Two red spots popped up on Gil’s face. “Silly.” He sniffed. “Smells like ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon.”
“Pretty good. Yeah, I improvised my muffin mix for the seasonal taste—cranberry with orange, dates, and some cardamom. Apple cinnamon with candied ginger. And chocolate with an orange glaze.”
Gil held on to the wheel with his left hand and held out the right. “Gimme, gimme.”
Benji enjoyed this new playful side of Gil. “So demanding.” He gave Gil a cranberry and watched as he took a huge bite and chewed with gusto.
“That’s the best muffin you’ve ever made.” He finished it and licked his fingers. “And yeah. I can be demanding. If I want something badly enough.” He slowed to a stop at a red light and took Benji’s hand. “I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I had a great time last night. And this morning.”
Benji’s heart soared. “Me too.”
The ugly skies might’ve still poured rain, but that couldn’t dampen his mood. The found a little diner in a tiny town and they had breakfast, where Benji discovered Gil had not been joking when he’d said he loved spice. He put copious amounts of hot sauce on his eggs and potatoes—so much so that Benji couldn’t believe he didn’t set his mouth on fire. At his openmouthed gawking, Gil grinned.
“Not your thing?”
“Uh, not really. My family is pretty tame with spices—some garlic, salt and pepper. Maybe a little paprika.”
“We grew up with all the spice. We all love it hot.”
Under the table, Benji rubbed his foot on Gil’s. “I didn’t say I don’t like it hot.”
Again, that blush, which only emphasized Gil’s sweet vulnerability and heightened Benji’s already enflamed desire.
They found a collection of antique stores next to each other and wandered through the pieces of other people’s lives. Gil bought a picture frame and he bought a beautiful sterling silver cake knife. Gil took his hand as they walked to the car, and a peaceful joy settled in his heart, filling all the emptiness he’d learned to live with.
“Let’s put the packages in the back.” Gil opened the hatch. Before closing it, he slid a hand up Benji’s nape and kissed him. “Come home with me.”
In a daze, Benji nodded, so filled with desire, he practically floated to the front seat. Gil held his hand on the drive, only letting go when they arrived and parked at his small house on the edge of the McGruders’ farm.
Nerves on fire, he waited for Gil to unlock the door. They entered the house and he took the initiative this time, covering Gil’s mouth with his. Gil held him by the waist, and he molded his body to Gil’s, feeling the heavy bulge against his own throbbing dick.
“God, I want you. I think I wanted you the first time I saw you but now? I’m fucking crazy for you.”
Gil’s hand stroked his cheek and Benji stood still, chest heaving, waiting. “It’s been torture all day,” Gil whispered, their lips touching. “All I wanted was you. With me.”
“And here I am.” Benji nuzzled into his palm and Gil smiled.
“Yeah. Here you are.”
He kissed him, yanking him close again, and Benji opened to the push of Gil’s tongue. It swept into his mouth, dancing and tangling with his. The fierceness of his hunger surprised Benji. He loved sex as much as the next guy, but this was more. This was him, opening himself up to take everything Gil had to give, under his skin, his blood and bones.
“Come with me.” His arm wrapped around Benji’s waist, he led him to the back of the house and the bedroom. Eyes locked, they undressed until they both stood fully naked. “When I’m with you, there’s no one else I’m thinking of.”
“Please,” Benji held out a hand. “Please.”
Gil laced their fingers and pulled him to the bed. Lying side by side, Benji felt as though he were a virgin, unsure and afraid of what was to come. Gil began to kiss him, starting at his throat, then his chest to his abs, stopping only to swirl his tongue in Benji’s navel.
His cock ached and pulsed out precome, which Gil lapped up. “Sweet,” he murmured. “So damn sweet.” Those were the last words Benji remembered, because Gil took the head of Benji’s dick past his lips and engulfed the shaft in his hot, wet mouth…and his whole world blew apart.
“God, oh God, Gil,” Head thrashing, his hands fisted the sheets into knots and his hips snapped hard and fast.
Gil pulled off.
“Nooo, what the hell,” Benji protested but Gil loomed over him and kissed his lips.
“I need to know what it’s like to be inside you.” He reached into the drawer by the bed. Benji heard a snap, and a cool slick finger breached him, joined by a second moments later. Electricity buzzed through Benji, shooting straight to his balls, and he grasped his dick. No way would he last.
Gil held up a condom packet. “After the other night…I stopped off and bought some, in case this happened. I was hoping I’d get the chance to show you how much I want you. The first man—the only one I’ve wanted to be with in six years.”
“Thank you for giving me this gift.” Their gazes locked, and Benji watched Gil roll the condom down his shaft. He held his breath as Gil nudged past the rim and filled him, inch by glorious thick inch, until he was seated fully. Benji locked his ankles around Gil’s slim waist and clutched his shoulders.
“I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Gil thrust, short and slow at first, then deep and fast.
“You have me.”
It was almost embarrassing how quickly he came—Benji had barely touched his rigid cock and he exploded, come splattering between them. Gil continued to fuck him through his climax, his cock dragging in and out, teasing him. Sensitive from his orgasm, Benji thrashed on the bed while Gil drove hard, hammering home with a hoarse cry. Benji felt the condom fill with heat and Gil buried his face in Benji’s neck, his harsh breathing the only sound in the silent room.
Benji shivered in the stillness, his sweaty body suddenly chilled. Did Gil regret this? Was it too fast? Soft lips touched his.
“That was incredible.” He rose from the bed and Benji heard him use the bathroom and the water running. Gil returned with a warm washcloth and gently cleaned him, then climbed in beside him. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” He sighed and laid his head on Gil’s broad chest. “Are you?”
“Not at all. I’m fine exactly as I am.”
Benji grinned. “You sure as hell are.” Gil snorted and kissed his head, but Benji persisted. “Are you truly okay?”
Gil sat up, his gentle face somber and filled with concern. “Don’t think that every time I’m with you, I’m comparing you to Rob. It’s not like that at all. You’re two totally different people. He was then, and I loved him. You’re now, and I like where I am. With you. I finally made the decision to move forward and live in the present. Please don’t keep bringing up the past.”
It didn’t bother Benji to hear that Gil had loved Rob so intensely. He’d expect nothing less from a man whom, he’d gathered, gave his heart completely when he fell in love.
“I won’t. And just so you know, I like where I am too. Here with you.”
Gil slid down next to him and pulled the covers up. “Let’s get some rest and decide what to do for dinner.”
“I’m fine with anything,” Benji said happily.
Gil’s feet tangled with his. “Yes, you are. Especially me.”