Chapter Nine
Benji
“I thought about it, and I really can’t get away. I’m sorry, Mom, Dad.” Benji rushed around the apartment. Gil had left a little past five in the morning, and now Benji needed to get downstairs and start baking. Hanukkah fell the day after Christmas this year and with only a few days left before the holidays, he was swamped.
In the three weeks since Thanksgiving, he and Gil had been spending every night together, cooking dinner and coming up with other food collaborations after the initial launch of their quiche line had been a huge success. He’d learned that Gil’s favorite color was blue and his birthday was in March. That he was ticklish and had a beautiful singing voice, especially in the shower.
What more could he ask for? Benji had everything he’d ever wanted—a man who was affectionate, kind, loving, and so fucking hot he was left in a constant state of arousal. A thriving business and a sense of peace and belonging in the small town of Serenity. He’d never been happier. Yet he wasn’t ready yet to reveal their relationship to his family. He had to figure out how to tell them about the fake boyfriend he’d invented to get them off his back and explain why he felt the need to lie to them. He was also loath to bring anyone into the cocoon of happiness they’d woven for themselves.
“But you said you’d have time afterward. We’re not leaving for our cruise until closer to the New Year.”
“I know, but I’ve been asked to cater some New Year’s parties, too.” He and Gil were doing finger foods—little potato puffs, bourekas , and mini pizzas—as well as his pastries. He wanted to try out some different renditions of latkes and planned to use Gil as his taste tester.
“Oh…I thought we’d be able to meet Ari. It’s been almost a year.”
His heart sank. God, how had he managed to do something this stupid? “Well, things are a little rocky now.” Raising his gaze to the ceiling, he mouthed, I’m sorry, I promise not to lie again.
“Oh no, what happened?” She sounded distressed, feeding into his guilt.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing really. Things happen. Maybe it’ll work out.”
“I hope so. The holidays are always stressful. Don’t let it break you up for no reason.”
“I won’t. I’d better get a move on. These rugelach won’t make themselves. Love you. I promise I’ll come home after you get back from your cruise.”
“Love you too, honey.”
Finished with his coffee and conversation, he raced down the stairs and to the bakery, where he set out to make the morning pastries. Main Street had been dressed up for almost two weeks with a garland draped around every lamppost and twinkling stars interspersed with Santas and jumping reindeer. Benji didn’t expect the town to put out anything special for Hanukkah and had decided to make his store the centerpiece in Serenity for the Jewish holiday, even if he was the only one celebrating. He’d adorned his window with blue tinsel and had several Hanukkiahs and menorahs, as well as an assortment of dreidels and piles of gelt in the window. He’d taught a bunch of children how to play dreidel and what the four Hebrew letters on each side stood for— nun , gimmel , hey , and shin —an acronym for “ A great miracle happened here . ”
Gil had both Christmas and Hanukkah decorations, and Benji appreciated him showing respect for both religions. The holidays were fast approaching, and Benji hoped they’d spend some time together, especially New Year’s, but Gil hadn’t said anything to him. They’d only been together for a few weeks, and the potential for it to blossom into something serious was growing every day. The last thing he wanted was for Gil to think of him as clingy and needy.
The final batch of rugelach was baking, and he’d decorated another bunch of dreidel cookies when Gil’s Jeep appeared across the street. He hopped out and hefted several bulky boxes. Benji sighed, recalling Gil pushing into him slowly, turning him inside out with pleasure, then wrapping him in those big strong arms all night long. Yeah, he had it bad for the guy.
The clock crept toward his opening hour of seven a.m., and he unlocked the front door, watching the streets of Serenity come alive. In the following hour, cars drove past, on their way to work or school drop off, and people strolled down the block, shopping totes in hand. The door to Gil’s shop opened, and he strode out and across the street to the bakery. Benji smiled when he walked into the store.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning. Again.” Those velvety deep-brown eyes glowed. “How are you?”
“Better now that you’re here.”
Gil took a step closer. “Don’t say things like that—you know I can’t do anything about it.” That husky rasp undid him.
“Says who?” Benji beckoned him. “Come with me.” On his heels, Gil followed him to the kitchen and Benji slid his hand around Gil’s nape, threading his fingers through the thick waves and guided their lips together. He sucked Gil’s velvety tongue, sinking into his heat. Benji could’ve stayed like that forever, except for the cheery bells jingling, announcing they were no longer alone.
“Dammit,” he muttered, stepping away from Gil to regain his bearings. “Here I was with dirty thoughts of covering you in frosting and licking it all off.”
“That would leave me rather sticky all day, don’t you think?” he asked, clearly amused, but Benji noticed a hint of interest in his burning dark eyes.
“Guess we’ll leave it for the night, then.” Benji brushed by him and squeezed his ass. “Gotta take care of my customers.”
He was surprised to see Bryce and Matty. “Hey, guys. What’s up? You’re both here early.”
Bryce crouched to peer into the glass showcase. “Everything looks so good. I don’t know how you keep from eating all the profits.”
“My Pops had a doctor appointment and while they’re doing tests, we figured to come by and get him some of those cookie things he likes. I’ve been practicing how to say them.” Matty pronouncing it like roo-ga-latch sent Benji into a fit of laughter.
“Oh God, that’s the funniest one yet. They’re rugelach, and I’ll put them together for you. Anything else?”
Gil joined them, walking in from the kitchen area. “The quiches look good, Benji. I’d better get back to the store. Hi, Matty, Bryce.”
“Hi, Gil. Didn’t know you were even here,” Matty said, giving him a fist bump. Bryce did the same but when the door closed behind Gil, he crossed his arms and grinned.
“So when did that start?”
Benji hoped his face didn’t turn bright red. “What?”
“He’s gorgeous. And very nice. You two make a cute couple.”
Benji didn’t say anything, and Bryce’s grin faded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just got a vibe….”
Matty rushed in. “Ignore him. Bryce loves to match people up now that we’re married.”
“I mean, it’s not a lie,” Bryce argued. “They look great together.”
While he didn’t want to talk publicly about their relationship yet, he didn’t want Bryce, who was simply being nice, to feel badly. Especially as his assumption was correct. “Don’t worry about it. Most important is that we’re good friends.”
“You’ve been here, about a year?” Matty inquired. “So you’re staying put even with the lousy weather at Thanksgiving and the coming snow? I’m sure it’s much different than Florida. I’ve never been.”
“Oh, yeah.” A quick glance at the window proved him right as flurries had begun to sprinkle from the sky. “No such thing as a white Christmas.”
“Are you going home for the holidays? And can I also get a few of them quiches? Tanya’s off and Bryce, Pops, and I can have them for lunch.”
“Sure thing. I’ll box everything up for you.” He had an idea. “Can you do me a favor? Would you two mind taste-testing something for me? I’d like to get your opinion.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice,” Matty joked.
He brought out the leek patties and bourekas stuffed with ground beef. “These are supposed to be eaten right out of the pan but I made them earlier, so I’m going to heat them in the microwave for you.”
He put them in for two minutes and handed over two of each on a paper plate. Anxious, he watched Matty and Bryce take bites of each.
“Oh, damn these are really good,” Bryce moaned and gobbled them both up. “I don’t know which one I like more, the meat one or the veggie. What are they?”
“The veggie is made with leeks and called keftes de prassa . It’s got leeks, eggs, and breadcrumbs. The other is a bourekas, which is a patty. Sort of like a Middle Eastern empanada . You can make it with potato and cheese or mixed with veggies like spinach or ground beef or lamb.”
“I think I had that in Greece.” Bryce licked his fingers. “I remember something like them.”
Benji recalled Bryce had once been part of one of the most famous online influencer duos. His fall from grace and humiliating breakup had been savagely recorded by his ex, but it looked like he’d ended up on top. He and Matty were crazy in love, and Benji had initially recognized him from him modeling everything from swimsuits to designer menswear.
“Most likely. According to Gil, who gave me these recipes, many cultures share similar food.”
Bryce smiled. “I’m sure. They’re delicious, right, Matty?”
“Hell, yeah. I bet our guests would love them for the holidays. Can we order some?”
He was already stretched to the limit, but Benji hated to disappoint his friends. “How many do you think? And for when?”
“Like twenty-five of each? In two days—Christmas Eve? Is that cutting it too close?”
Not if he didn’t mind no sleep for several days.
At his hesitation, Matty’s face fell. “I shouldn’t even be asking. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, I can do it. Stop by in the afternoon, and I’ll have them for you.” He took their empty plates, tossed them into the trash, and returned behind the counter to write up the order. Once he calculated the price, he showed it to Matty, who nodded while studying it. “Sounds good to me. We’d better get back to Pops before he thinks we left him.” He handed Benji his card. “This is for the cake and stuff, and put half the balance of the order on now. I’ll pay the other when I pick them up.”
“You got it. Always a pleasure doing business with Rolling Meadows.” He gave Matty the box, and they left. Benji sprang into action, calling up the grocer and ordering more supplies. He then texted Gil.
I just got an order from Matty for 25 of the leek patties and bourekas. Wanna help me roll some dough tonight?
He added a laughing emoji, and Gil answered within a few minutes.
Best offer I’ve had all day. I’ll come by after closing.
The entire day was busy with baking, because as it was Hanukkah, Benji was also making sufganiyot —the traditional fried jelly doughnut. He made some bite-sized for the little kids and bigger ones for adults. By four, Zis was basically sold out of everything except for a few of the doughnuts he’d just made. The supermarket had delivered his extra supplies, and his feet throbbed from standing for almost ten straight hours.
“Why are these a Hanukkah tradition?” Hank pointed to the freshly made doughnuts. Daisy and Hank had stopped by to pick up the quiche he’d put away for them. Alyssa had taken one home earlier in the week and raved about it. “All we always see is the candelabra.”
“That’s called a menorah. As for the sufganiyot, it’s not the pastry itself, but the meaning behind eating it for the holiday. Hanukkah symbolizes the miracle of oil that was only supposed to last one night, but instead it lasted eight. In short, the Maccabees fought against Antiochus of the Syrian empire. They were supposed to be defeated but somehow rose up to defeat them. When they re-entered the Temple in Jerusalem, the golden menorah had been stolen by the Syrians. They found a plain metal one, but all the oil to light the menorahs had been tainted except for one jar. They figured it was better to light for one night than not at all, and when they did, it miraculously burned for eight nights, until fresh oil was found. They took it as a sign from God. So we eat foods fried in oil, like potato pancakes and the doughnuts.”
Daisy and Hank stood, enraptured, and Benji, self-conscious, laughed. “Sorry for the history lesson. Guess my parents should be happy my Hebrew School education wasn’t wasted after all.”
“Don’t be, honey. It’s so interesting. We’ve heard some over the years from Isaac, but never in this detail.”
“That’s because I was the better student.” He cackled.
“Well, whatever the reason, we’ll take two of them. They look delicious.”
“Oh, they are. I have some filled with the imported strawberry jam that Gil sells across the street and some with that chocolate hazelnut crème.”
“Oh. Well, if that’s the case, make it four—two of each.” Hank put his hands up at Daisy’s glare. “We’re each gonna want one of our own.”
“Just two, Benji, please.” Daisy shook her head at Hank. “I’ll cut them in half.”
Benji boxed everything up and after they left, he put up the CLOSED sign, locked the door, and sent a text to Gil.
I’m done. Going home for a few minutes to get something quick to eat for dinner and then coming down to start baking everything.
He didn’t get a response, assumed Gil was busy, and ran up the stairs to his apartment. He decided to change clothes and take a shower. Afterward, dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, he was deciding what to eat when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Gil standing there with a bag in hand.
“I went to the diner and got us burgers and fries. You’ll need your strength for later.”
Was there anyone ever anyone so caring? Benji took the bag from him and hugged him tight. “Thank you. No one’s ever done that for me.”
Gil placed a kiss to his cheek. “Glad to be your first.”
They ate, and Benji dreamed that one day this could be his reality. He and Gil together, eating dinner, spending nights and weekends doing the simple things that formed the building blocks of life.
“What’re you thinking of? You look a hundred miles away.”
This wasn’t the time for serious conversation. “Actually, about a thousand. I was thinking of my parents. They called me this morning, wanting me to come home, but I can’t make the trip with all the work I have to do before the holidays.”
Gil frowned. “I could’ve helped, if you wanted to go for a few days.”
“That wouldn’t be right.” Benji crumpled up the wax paper and stuffed everything into the garbage. “I’ll see them soon.” Now was as good a time as any to see what Gil was doing.
“What about you? Are you going home for the holidays, I mean?”
“Yeah. I’ll drive out after that last party we’re doing on the twenty-seventh.”
“Oh.” His throat tight, Benji’s smile was quick. “That’ll be nice. For how long?”
Gil cast his gaze down to the table. “Uh, January second. I’m sorry, I should’ve—”
“No, hey, what’re you apologizing to me for? I’m glad you’re getting to see your family since you couldn’t for Thanksgiving.” And here he was working up scenarios in his head that would most likely never happen. “I’m gonna go home too for a while in January. After my parents get home from their cruise.” He forced his lips into a bigger smile. “Anyway, better get cracking on all the orders, or I’ll be up all night. I’m closing the store after tomorrow to be able to get everything done.”
“All right.” Gil got to his feet. “Let’s do it.”
They worked side by side, but there was a bit of a pall over their previous joking. Benji kept it light between them and he could see Gil was confused by his sudden change. Was he wrong to have believed they were working toward a relationship? He’d thought so and had believed that Gil did too, but when had he ever been the best judge of character? Best not to think too much about the fact that he’d be alone on New Year’s Eve.
Around eleven p.m., he shut off the ovens. “We did it. All the patties and bourekas for Matty. The rugelach and babkas for the senior center and Mayor Pete, plus the latkes, spinach pies, and the crusts for the mini pizzas.” Every finger ached, but he was damn proud of himself.
“You were a machine,” Gil gazed at him with admiration. “I was just a little help.”
“I appreciated you being here.” Damn, did he sound that stiff and formal? Apparently, because Gil’s dark brows drew together.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just exhausted. Between not getting much sleep last night, starting at five a.m., and now it’s midnight. I’m beyond tired.”
Gil reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “How about I take you upstairs and give you a massage?”
“Would it bother you if I said no? All I want to do is brush my teeth and go to sleep.” It took every bit of his strength to refuse.
“Of course not.” But he could see the confusion in Gil’s eyes. “I get it. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure. I have to deliver these to the senior center and then City Hall. Hanukkah starts at sundown and I want to be home to light the menorah and call my parents.”
“Benji, aren’t we’re doing that together? It was supposed to be a joint effort with both our stores.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Better to say it than keep it bottled up inside. “I’m just disappointed you won’t be here for New Year’s.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been so long since I’ve had to take anyone into consideration when it comes to my life—I forgot when I made my plans. But this doesn’t change anything, does it?”
Hearing he’d been forgotten when Gil had made his plans didn’t feel good either, but Benji was too tired to get into it. He didn’t want to argue before Gil left, and he didn’t want to leave a sour taste between them.
“No. It doesn’t.”
“I’ll see you here tomorrow, okay? Get a good night’s sleep.” Gil cupped his cheeks. “I had fun tonight.”
Gil’s mouth settled over his and Benji clung to him as if it were the last time. He hoped it wasn’t.