Chapter Ten
Gil
It wasn’t a pleasant evening for Gil. He’d anticipated working with Benji, then spending the night together, like they had from Thanksgiving on. And it wasn’t simply the sex—although that was, for want of a better description, fucking spectacular. Benji was the first person in years he could sit in silence with yet know what he was thinking. They had fun whether meandering through farmer’s markets, browsing through bookstores, or standing elbow to elbow in flour and butter.
They’d visited the obligatory Christmas markets, gone on hayrides, and driven all around the area to view holiday lights. Benji had decided to offer apple-cider doughnuts and pear tarts in the bakery, and they’d spent an entire Saturday working on recipes, with Gil adding a spicy twist. Sundays were for snuggling in bed, doing crossword puzzles and word games, and making love. The worst part of their weekend was when Benji would leave early in the morning to open the bakery. The time spent away from Benji was time Gil missed him. Guilt overwhelmed him, realizing it had been weeks since he’d thought of Rob, and it took a moment for him to catch his breath.
It wasn’t that he’d found a replacement for Rob, but rather someone new who’d taken up residence in his heart. And as they’d grown closer these days and nights, he’d believed Benji felt the same. They shared a comfortable familiarity, as if they’d known each other years instead of weeks. He’d get up early and make the coffee, while Benji would cook breakfast. They split the newspaper—Benji checking the financial section, while Gil read the international news and food section. It was everything he’d forgotten—how much he craved that daily, mundane life of coupledom. Gil paced his living room, wondering if he should get into the Jeep and drive to town to talk to Benji, but then he recalled Benji’s tired eyes and slumped shoulders and refrained.
Maybe Benji truly was exhausted, but Gil didn’t think so. Because he’d missed out on Thanksgiving, Gil had promised to come home for the holidays and New Year’s. Obviously, Benji had hoped to spend that night together while he hadn’t given it a second thought. Their relationship was still so new and tentative, and he’d been out of the dating scene for so long, he wasn’t sure what the protocol was anymore.
After tossing and turning until well after midnight, he spent the morning making some special holiday treats to bring to Benji later that day. Sort of a peace offering but also to show he cared. From the time he was a kid, he’d been taught that making food for someone was a sign of deep affection.
He wanted Benji to know that going home for the holidays didn’t mean he didn’t want to spend time with him. To be with him. Maybe…maybe he could invite him for New Year’s…but bringing him home to meet the family might be a bit much. Dammit .
After a lonely lunch, he must’ve picked up his phone half a dozen times, knowing that once he made this phone call, there was no turning back. Gil weighed the potential interrogation against his escalating sense of dread that if he didn’t act now, he and Benji would drift apart and that would be the end.
And of one thing Gil was certain—he didn’t want to lose Benji Roth.
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered to himself and placed the call. “Hi, Sofia.”
“Gil? Is this you or a prerecorded message?” Her laughter filled his heart.
“In the flesh, so to speak. How are you feeling? Finished with the flu and all the various other illnesses?”
“Ugh, yeah. It’s been a hell of a season—one cold after another. But having little kids means they bring home everything and share it. How’re you?”
He sat on the couch. “I’m…okay.”
“Are you sure? Victor’s at the office finishing up last-minute emergencies before they close up for the holidays. He should be home around three at the latest. Do you want me to have him call you?”
He winced and sent out a silent prayer. “No, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh?”
“I need advice. Personal stuff.”
“I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I met this guy, and we’ve been seeing each other. Without going any further, please keep this between us. Promise me. I love my mother, but the last thing I need is for her to call and add her two cents—or twenty dollars, more likely. I already know her opinion.”
“Of course. I’m here to listen, be a sounding board…whatever.”
“Thanks.” He blew out a breath. “Anyway. Things have been great. We connected over Thanksgiving—both of us were stranded from the storm—but truthfully, I noticed him from almost my first day here. He’s a baker, and his store is directly across from mine.”
“So you’ve gotten close?”
Her delicate way of asking if they’d had sex. “Very close. Benji—that’s his name—is the sweetest guy. Warm, funny, very family-oriented.”
“I’m not seeing a problem. The one reservation I always had with Rob, whom you know I loved to pieces, is that because he had no family, he didn’t understand how important we all were to you.”
“I know. His childhood was rough, and he made it on his own. Benji is the opposite.”
“Again, what’s the problem?”
Here came the tricky part. “He’s staying in town for the holidays, and I think he assumed we’d be together and spending them together, including New Year’s.”
“Ooh. Now I get it. Poor guy.” She sounded sympathetic, then grew agitated. “Gil, please don’t tell me you’re not coming home. Your parents will be devastated. They’re so excited, and your mother’s started preparing your favorites.”
“No, no. I’m coming. I’m just wondering…do you think it’s out of line for me to invite him to come for New Year’s? I just hate the thought of him spending the holidays alone.”
Several seconds passed before Sofia answered. “You care about this man. It’s more than a fling, isn’t it?”
Having to say it out loud made it more real. He covered his eyes with his hand. “I-I didn’t want to think I could ever care about anyone else other than Rob. And I know I’ll always love him.”
“Finding someone new doesn’t mean you negate the life you shared with Rob. All that you shared with him has made you the person you are today.” She sniffled. “A man so filled with life and love. You deserve happiness, and if you’ve found someone who can bring you joy, grab it. We never know what darkness is waiting to snuff out our light. Of course you should ask him to spend New Year’s together. I already love him.”
Wiping his eyes, Gil laughed. “Okay, Sofia. We’re not engaged, just…dating, I guess. If I didn’t screw it up.”
“I’m sure you didn’t. I’m sure Benji knows a good thing when he sees it. You’re the best.”
“I guess I’ll have to see how angry he is with me. I made some special Hanukkah treats for him. Cassolas and bimuleos .”
“How about I give you my recipe for zvingoi ? Some honey for your honey? If he’s smart, he’ll thank you with a big kiss.”
“Sofi….” He warned but couldn’t keep the grin from spreading over his face. That had been his plan, after all.
“Thank me later,” she answered him with a giggle. “I’ll text it to you. And let me know what happens. I’m serious, Gil. If you like Benji—or more than like him—go for it. I’m sure he’s not mad at you, and he’ll want to be with you for the new year.”
“Love you. And thanks.”
“I love you too. See you in a few days.”
He ended the call and a few minutes later, his phone dinged. As promised, Sofia had sent her mother’s recipe for the honey-filled fritters. He had just enough flour left to make a batch and by the time he had loaded the platters into his Jeep, he had a severe case of the jitters. No matter what Sofia said, he couldn’t be sure how badly he’d screwed things up with Benji and if his attempt would be rejected. Benji had been so hurt by his ex, he’d erected a shell to protect himself and his heart.
He drove into town and decided to just go for it. Better to know than not. Judging by the lights burning in the upstairs windows, Benji was home and awake, so he took the stairs and knocked. The door opened, and Benji stood in front of him, his eyes wide with shock.
“Wh-what’re you doing here?”
Not the effusive greeting he was hoping for. “I felt badly the way we left things earlier, and I wanted to talk.” He lifted the platters he’d precariously stacked on top of one another. “And I made us some snacks.”
“Uh, wow. That was really nice of you.” Over Benji’s shoulder he saw an older man and woman standing in the living room.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company.”
“Benji?” The woman joined them at the door. “Is everything all right?” She looked like Benji with thick dark hair, big blue eyes and a friendly smile. “Hello.”
“Hello.”
“Mom, this is—”
“I know who this is. Ari, so nice to meet you finally. Benji, take those trays. Come inside and we can talk.”
Muttering to himself, Benji cast his eyes to the ceiling, and Gil pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. A few weeks ago when he’d been at the apartment on a Sunday morning and Benji’s parents had called, Benji had confessed that he’d made up a steady boyfriend to get his parents to stop asking about his love life. Apparently that had now backfired. Big-time.
Benji took the trays, his face a mix of vulnerability and confusion. “I had no idea,” he whispered, and to ease his mind, Gil winked.
His mother continued to chatter. “Benji told us you weren’t going to be able to join him for the holidays, and we felt so badly that he was going to be alone, that we hopped on a plane last-minute and came to spend Hanukkah with him before we leave for our cruise. Now we’re even happier we did so, because we get to meet you.”
“I made some Hanukkah sweets. There’s plenty for everyone.”
“Ohh, you bake as well?”
“Uh, G-Ari owns a specialty food store.” After closing the door, Benji had taken two of the three trays.
Benji’s father’s brow wrinkled. “I thought he was in finance?”
Nonplussed, Benji bit his lip. “Uh, well….”
“I switched careers.” Gil came up with the lie, and Benji’s brows shot up. Gil realized what he’d done.
Yep. He’d just agreed to pose as Benji’s fake boyfriend to his parents.