Chapter 4
Chapter four
Time stopped about five minutes ago, at least I think it did, hell maybe longer for all I know. I’ve been consumed tracking every damn move she’s made since I laid eyes on her. Music I once could lip sync word for word is now muted by the heavy thump of my heart.
I’ve waited for this day for weeks, no months, and now that it’s here I don’t know what the hell to do.
Panic, that sounds like the most plausible thing really, just fall the hell over and hide in a shell—a human sized armadillo if you will.
After years of knowing this woman, fawning over every fucking thing about her, having memorized her morning routine, to knowing how she prefers her coffee—suddenly I’m a deer in headlights.
The fuck is wrong with me? Love, stupid ass, you’re in love with her.
She isn’t new, this isn’t some newfound crush.
We’d simply pick up where we left off if you think about it.
As if zero time has passed between her breaking it off with me and today.
At least that’s how it feels. I’ve kept myself busy, sliding through life, waiting for this very moment and now my damn feet won’t move.
Shit, maybe they’re buried in the ground and it’s the earth refusing to let me join her.
Or, perhaps someone wound trailer straps around me when I was too gone to notice, then tied me to the front of the car.
Maybe this is a cruel dream and I’m still in my dorm room playing with myself under the blankets.
Whatever it is, goddamn, I need it to let go.
From several yards away I can already feel the soft warmth of her sliding through my calloused grip.
The thick, silk-like locks of her hair tangled between my fingers as I knot them in my hand and guide her head back.
Then her mouth… fuck. Lush lips, painted with a simple chapstick to keep them from drying too much. Pink, and plump, and mouthwatering.
I’m going to combust right here.
The devil woman herself is decked out in black Converse, denim shorts, and her favorite Motley Crüe shirt.
The same one I’ve seen her wear for different occasions, even dressed down and curled up in bed.
She’s worn it so many times the fibers are soft, fragile, and ready to rip with one hard yank.
To see her fall out of that damn thing? Heaven.
Slight curves, flawless pale skin, the faded summertime freckles sprinkled across her shoulders; she’s a dream to watch undress.
Her hair is up today, instead of falling in thick swaths, teasing glimpses of her face.
As much as I like when she wears it down, seeing the way it frames every bend and curve of her features, giving me an inhibited view of her neck, kryptonite.
I’ve raked my lips over her pulse as it jumped at the sides until they became raw and the sweet taste of her ingrained itself into my flesh.
In the few moments where I lost all decency, I sank my teeth into her until she whined under me and turned different shades of red.
The style makes her look more her age versus how put together she looks when it’s down; waved to perfection and so shiny it looks like a halo at times—something I could thank Ivy for I suppose.
This is the only time I will ever give Ivy a compliment, so take it and run.
Nadia appears less burdened this way; the tendrils of pain and hurt haven’t dragged her into the terrors yet.
She’s a warrior in her own rite and she owns it.
Dumbfounded with the ground anchoring me in place, I lean against the front of the Civic and just watch.
The fiberglass is cooler after being parked for an hour or so, I think, but the random soft tinks and clinks still ring under the car’s hood every once in a while.
Easy to miss if you were wrapped up in the vibe beginning to pick up at this bonfire.
Loud music, rambunctious talking, and the soft crackle of flames catching on old skids and branches someone gathered for this night alone.
I’m ready to sweep her off her feet, no joke.
Should I be chivalrous about it, hold her up bridle style where I can look down into those chilly eyes before I devour her pillowy lips?
Or I could, you know, throw her over my shoulder.
Allow my roughened hands to knead her thighs and ass as I walk off into the woods with her.
True caveman shit—I mean, I’m feral for her as much as I am obsessed, being a barbarian wouldn’t be too far off the reservation.
I can’t decide. Really. There’s only one way I can caveman myself into her life again and I want to make sure I do it the right way, that she can’t find the strength in herself to get rid of me again.
That we are now, we are forever, and she wouldn’t dream of letting me go.
Fuck, I’m disgusting. Daydreaming about both demolishing her and praising her violently.
Watching Nadia could be a new favorite pastime; high-definition visual of a walking wet dream.
If there were a way for me to have tabs on her at all times, I’d make it happen.
If she denies me, refuses to run away from here, and tie herself to me, I’d still creep on her.
She wouldn’t be safe in that sense, my lurking eyes glued to the woman who’s laid silent claim to my very existence.
I’ll make my way over to her eventually, once I grow a pair of balls, but where I’m at right now?
Observing her curvy frame hoist on the dropped tailgate of her truck, seeing her smile and toss her head back in laughter is becoming a highlight of my fucking night.
Frankly, I don’t want to intrude or interrupt anything obviously bringing her joy.
That’s until her sharp, silver gaze performs a head-to-head collision with mine and my world stops.
“Rey, yo man, this party is dank. Let’s get out of here.” Wes whines at my left. Nearly distracting me from the sight standing a couple yards away—nearly. Unsuccessful at best.
“Get turned down by every prospect so far?” Zap teases, Wes flying off the handle like he always does. And now they have my attention, pulling my focus from Nadia. Five seconds, can’t they get along for five damn seconds? I don’t want to deal with them, maybe if I ignore them they will go away.
“Man, fuck you. I’m putting itching powder on the couch when we get back to the house.”
“Itching powder? You twelve again? Rey, don’t pay him any mind. It’s a decent party, besides, we came for two reasons and one is staring you down. You going to do anything about that, or just let it simmer?”
“Hmm?” Trying damn hard to tune the two knuckleheads out and hold Nadia’s frigid gaze. I fear she’s doing a better job at ignoring Oliver who’s chattering away next to her and sipping from his red cup.
“Leave him be, Zap. He’s a goner. Princess at twelve o’clock.”
Nadia eases off the tailgate, finally breaking eye contact, then lifts and slams it shut.
It’s her dad’s beat up piece of junk, but she sees freedom in it.
I understand what it means to her, my first car had me running the roads.
Let’s not forget about the pride I had earning and owning something of my own after hard work.
Broke my heart when I traded in my old car for the new one, but things had to be done.
I’m about to push away from the Civic and go to her when Wes pops off and gets into another argument with Zap.
“Would you two knock it the fuck off already? Wes, I swear. You must be on your period or something, acting like a temperamental bitch. You’ve been going all damn day. Give it a break.”
Wes bristles next to me but I don’t care.
He’s quickly ruining all of the good vibes we’ve hunted for since leaving campus.
There’s no telling what his problem is, maybe those few months in county lockup have institutionalized him a bit and he’s itching to get back to the structure he doesn’t have out here.
Go into the military then, fucking titty baby, save us the headache of dealing with the tantrums. Somewhere along the line, his emotional maturity has evaporated and we’re the ones dealing with the fallout.
Music picks up around us, two cars finally tuning into the same radio station for surround sound when I realize Nadia’s heading my way.
My nerves immediately went out the window, subconsciously forcing me to shove my trembling hands into my jacket pockets.
Curiosity is holding her attention hostage when she glosses over the car, lingering on the finer details I’ve spent precious time on.
Then, like the calming heat of a cup of hot cocoa, she graces me with a voice that’s corrupted every nook and cranny of my thoughts.
“Hey Rey.”
Play it cool, stupid.
“Nadi, how’ve you been?” Damnit she’s beautiful.
“Not too bad, I guess.”
Not very convincing, Diabolica.
Her eyes are a bit darker under her bottom lashes.
I can’t help but assess her a bit longer, putting together a mental bullet list of what now haunts her before acting like some Danny Zuko knock off.
Shrugging my shoulders solely to shift my jacket around.
Too cool to care much—dumb as a box of rocks.
“That’s good. Happy graduation day, by the way.” Let’s mask this with a smirk, maybe that will make it better—blue steel style. Kidding, fuck I’m kidding. Ignore me, I don’t know how to be casual.
“Thanks, this your new car?”
Fucking-A, safe territory.
Standing up from the hood, we both stare down at the other woman in my life—Delinquent.
I like how Nadia notices her, notices things about me that tells people she pays attention to what matters to others.
Not sure if she knows it, but her awareness means so much.
She has a good eye for the little things too.
So, every time I fuck up as her husband, she’s going to clock it from ten miles away.
Lord I hope so, that’s a leash I’ll gladly let her yank.
“Yeah, want to take a look at her? I’ve had her for about six months.” I start, stepping back to let her have more space to explore my baby.
“Trying to work enough to save up for body modifications, maybe a new intake.” I say as I pop the hood for her this time.
When in doubt, which I’m swimming in, distract your prey.
Pointing to a few things underneath the shell, I explain more of the changes I want to make all while she follows along curiously.
Yep, I bought a new intake not too long ago but she doesn’t know that, this is just a shit ton of small talk.
Anything to keep her speaking and move the attention off of me onto something else.
The car I named after her? Perfect specimen.
Teasing my hand over the driver side fender, I can’t help the way I look at it.
She’s buttery in my hands, easy to control.
There’s no way about it, if I move her to the left she eases that way as if there’s no such thing as gravity, same with the right.
She starts up quietly with a few button presses, then if I treat her just right she wins.
I’m only a driver, this car? She’s the athlete.
“You’re speaking a different language. I don’t know a damn thing about cars, Rey. Dumb it down for me.”
Heh, anytime Diabolica. I’ll teach you whatever you want to know.
Chuckling, a few steps and I’m at her side.
Feeling the weight of her very existence next to me, then I guide her back a few inches to protect her delicate fingers from getting caught by the hood when I shut it with a chest punching thud.
Leaning again, my ankles and arms crossing, I take Nadia in. All of her. Every. Fucking. Inch.
Her height, the bounce of her hair, the way she keeps her lips slightly parted between speaking. I’m not worthy of it but I could stare at her forever. She’s waiting expectantly for me and that fills me with a hunger I’ve forced myself to avoid for years.
“You wound me, Nadi. I thought you would have learned a bit more in my years away, so you’d actually have something to impress me with.”
The second a flash of pain shoots across her face, my stomach drops.
Okay, okay, it was a little harsh but we’ve never coddled one another.
Since day one she’s dished me a verbal beating I would crawl through hot coals for—some sort of masochist I am.
Right as I’m about to word vomit and apologize for being a cocksucker, she hits me with her deliciously-smart mouth.
“And impressing you is important, why?”
Tou-fucking-che.
Alright, smart ass, let’s have at it.
Shrugging, I stand tall. Letting her sass roll off me like water and duck feathers—however that saying goes.
I’d have her no other way. Grass shifts under my boots as I move around the front of the car and ease my way to the passenger door.
Squeezing the handle, it pops open with a noise that’s almost deafening to me but no one else seems to notice.
This is what she does to me, makes me hyper-vigilant.
I zero in on the smallest details and over exaggerate the ones that mean the least.
Opening the door for her without saying a damn thing, I stand back like the gentleman my mom raised me to be, and wait for her to slide inside.
As much as she loves silence, the quiet between us isn’t comfortable in the least, mostly her though.
It makes her fidget and uneasy. Truth be told, I like it when she’s a little uncomfortable.
She does the craziest shit—one of the entertaining highlights of our nights together.
Jerking my head slightly, motioning her to get in, I make a final pass over the field to see who’s not aware of their surroundings and those who should mind their damn business.
This is my night, ours if you want to get technical, and the rumors of a new graduate class will not bode any of them well.
Best they keep their mouths shut and their heads down.
Nadia sweeps past me and her body spray hits my nostrils with the force of the Juggernauts sledgehammer; ache shooting from my heart all the way to the fucker in my pants. Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I fight to stifle the groan she drags out of me.
Jesus H. Christ, save me now.